Chapter Thirty

The young girl was the first to die, followed a week later by the woman who had stayed by her side day and night. Surely they were mother and daughter, although Lilli did not know for sure. She had not spoken to either of them since they had boarded the ship. She had hardly spoken to anyone except Minna. The young girl had smiled at her the first day, her eyes filled with anticipation, like so many others on board. Lilli had not bothered to return the smile, nor did she say hello when the young girl spoke. Consumed in her own misery, she had not even asked their names. Now, they were both gone. Reality struck Lilli a fierce blow as she watched the body of the young girl being wrapped for burial. They might all die, each and every one of them, and Vater’s dream of owning land in Nova Scotia lost with them. A dreadful lull settled over the ship as one by one the sick succumbed to their illness.

Vater said they must keep to themselves for fear that they too would be stricken.

“Speak to no one, even if they appear well. We will all make it across safely,” he said, as if his words had the power to make it so. Mutter worriedly rubbed a spot on the palm of her hand. At night she whispered prayers for God to protect them.

A few days after the girl and her mother died, Mutter placed her hand upon Lilli’s fevered brow and let out a soft cry. Lilli had tried to keep it a secret, hoping it was a case of seasickness and nothing more. When Mutter confirmed what she already feared, tears filled Lilli’s eyes. She wanted to tell Mutter that she was sorry for falling ill but did not know how to put her fevered thoughts into words. She could only lie there looking at Mutter’s agonized face. And then, as if an idea came to her like a lightning bolt, Mutter began to rummage through Lilli’s belongings until she found the bag of willow bark Alisz had given her to take on the voyage.

“I will steep it. No one will have to know what it is. There is not enough for everyone,” she said, hastily pulling the string on the bag. In her hurry, it fell from her hands and some of the contents scattered at her feet. In a swift movement, she snatched the bag up. Holding it to her like a sack of gold, she scooped up the loose bits of willow bark and put them back in the bag.

“But Vater,” croaked Lilli. He might object to anything that involved Alisz and her herbs.

“I will not sit by and do nothing,” Mutter whispered. “Nor will Vater. He understands that some plants heal. It is some of the others that he questions.”

“You mean the witches’ plants?” scoffed Lilli. Mutter placed a gentle hand on Lilli’s head.

“You might think he is cruel, but his love for you is strong, much stronger than you realize.”

Mutter returned later with the tea. She blew on it to make it ready for drinking. Vater and Friedrich stood in the background anxiously looking on.

“We are fortunate to have had Alisz as our friend,” Mutter said, looking back at Vater. Lilli brought the tea to her lips and swallowed.

“Drink it all,” said Vater, nodding his head with a solemn expression on his lips. “If it will help, you must drink it all.”

Later, when it was Mutter and Lilli alone, Lilli looked up at Mutter. As sick as she was, she had to know the truth. “Why was Vater so frightened of my friendship with Alisz all these years?”

Mutter set down the empty cup. She sighed then looked down at Lilli.

“He was always afraid of losing you. Fear is what spurred him,” she whispered, stroking Lilli’s fevered cheek. “You have to know that losing a child would be unbearable. He could not bear to think of it. Alisz has a certain way about her that draws people to her. I’m sure you have seen it. It is part of her charm.”

“Lose me? But that is ridiculous.” Lilli turned her head away. Mutter’s words did not explain a thing. As sick as she was, she could not release the stone of anger that had settled in her heart. Vater was cruel and unjust. Nothing Mutter said would change that.

“There are things you do not know about Alisz,” Mutter began, choosing her words with care.

“I do not want to hear what you have to say. Alisz is our friend,” said Lilli.

“This you need to know, but you must never speak of it,” whispered Mutter, looking over her shoulder. “I have known Alisz my entire life, Lilli. She comes from a family of healers, women who were forced to hide what they did because those around them did not understand. I have always known what they did, how they were able to help. I was one of those who kept their secret. I did not even tell Vater…all those years I did not tell. That is how important the secret was.”

“But Mutter,” objected Lilli, wondering how any of this could possibly involve them now.

Mutter motioned for Lilli to listen. “For six long years, Vater and I longed for a child. Each year became more difficult for me to bear. I knew Alisz could help. I knew about the special herbs she had. So, I went to her for assistance. Only she said she would not help unless Vater was in agreement. ‘Deception in any marriage will only bring problems, and I will not be an instrument of deception,’ she said. So I went to Vater and told him that Alisz could help us, that we did not need to worry. But Vater refused to hear anything about Alisz or her herbs. ‘There are plants that can heal, but none have the ability to conjure a child. Do you hear me, Marta? We will not bring a child into this world through the use of witchcraft. She is fooling you,’ he said. I told him it was not witchcraft, that Alisz was my friend, the herbs she used were just plants that grow in the ground—plants like flax and wheat, nothing more. ‘A child will come in its own time,’ he said. ‘We do not need that woman’s help.’”

Mutter laid a hand on Lilli’s forehead.

“More years passed and still nothing. My sadness deepened. Then one day I could not make myself get out of bed. Nothing Vater said or did held any interest for me. I could not eat and could barely do my work. Vater knew my sorrow. The hand of worry was upon him. I know you think he is stubborn, Lilli, but that has not always been the case. He understands more than you know. He is no different than many others in Württemberg. His beliefs have been passed down through many generations. It is not so simple for him to forget all that he has spent a lifetime fearing.” Mutter dipped a cloth into some foul-smelling water and wrung it out, laying it across Lilli’s forehead before continuing.

“Then the day I had waited for finally came. Vater agreed to allow Alisz to help, but he insisted that we pay her. He did not want to be in her debt. He still feared Alisz might be a witch, and he believed that to be indebted to a witch would put us in danger. He sent me with some coins and my heart sang with joy. He did this for me, Lilli. He set aside his fears for my happiness. I told him he would not be sorry. Alisz would help us have a child. It would all be worthwhile.”

“Like Frau Eberhart?” whispered Lilli through fevered lips.

“Like Frau Eberhart,” said Mutter, nodding. “I took Vater’s message, and the coins, back to Alisz. She did not want any payment, but I told her Karl insisted. ‘He is a proud man,’ I told her. ‘He will not take your help without giving something in return.’ Finally, Alisz agreed, but it was not the payment he had expected.

“‘When the child is five, bring her to me. I only ask that I get to know her and pass on the teachings. That is all the payment that is necessary.’”

“How did she know you would have a girl?”

“Alisz has her ways,” said Mutter. “I’m sure you have seen this in your time with her.” Lilli nodded. There was no denying Alisz’s special way of knowing things.

“I begged Karl to give in to her request. ‘You do not need to fear Alisz,’ I told him. ‘She heals the sick and delivers children safely to their mothers’ arms.’ He reluctantly agreed. So, I took you there when you were five, just as we had agreed upon. Vater did not like it, but he was afraid to anger Alisz. To anger a witch would put us all in danger—or so he believed. But then, the older you became the more time you spent with Alisz.” Pausing, Mutter sorrowfully shook her head. “Vater has always been frightened of losing you to Alisz. He worried that she would one day take you from us. Alisz was the one responsible for your arrival, and he could not get it out of his head that she would one day want you back.”

Lilli’s head began to spin. She could barely make sense of what Mutter was saying. It was as if she were talking about people she did not even know.

“As I said, in the beginning we agreed for you to spend time with Alisz when you were older, but when the time finally came, Vater changed his mind. There are people who fear Alisz. They know she is different. Vater is one of those people.”

“Then why did he let me go?” asked Lilli in earnest. “When the time came he could have said no. Alisz would have understood.”

“I have told you, he fears Alisz. He thought something bad would happen to all of us if he went back on his word.” Mutter let out another sigh. “It is my fault. I should have insisted that Alisz take the coins. It has only caused us grief. It was an agreement that should never have been made, but I wanted a child so badly—we wanted a child. But each time you went, each visit, Vater would fume. I should have known that one day his fear would get the better of him.”

“And Friedrich?”

“Friedrich is the child who came in his own time,” said Mutter, quietly nodding. “So you see we would have had a very long wait.”

By now Lilli’s head was throbbing, her throat dry. If only Mutter would stop talking for a moment and allow her to rest. There was so much to take in. Again Mutter felt her forehead. Reaching for Lilli’s hand, she held fast.

Slipping into a fevered sleep, Lilli dreamed that she was back in Alisz’s house and they were reading from her stillroom book. A soft, cool breeze entered the ship’s hold and slid a soothing hand across Lilli’s forehead as she slept. She could hear Mutter somewhere in the distance calling out her name, but the desire to answer her was not there.

Do not be afraid, Lilli, Alisz whispered in her ear. We will see each other again in another time and another place. I promise.

But how will I know you?

When your soul sings the song of forgotten times, you will awaken to the past. But only for a short time. The memories will come and go, but our friendship will continue.

Lilli wanted to ask Alisz what that all meant. How odd, she thought, Alisz is in Württemberg and I am on a ship bound for the New World. A peaceful feeling spiralled through her then. It was dark, with strong, warm arms that carried her away, softly, softly into another realm of consciousness where she felt nothing but peace.

New Germany, Nova Scotia, 2019

“Don’t be sad, Lilly,” said Alice as she followed Lilly to the front door. “I know you meant well. And it was lovely to think that we were once soul-friends.”

“But I was so sure. It seemed so real—Walpurgisnacht, the cinnamon-haired woman, the fires—all of it.” Lilly found it hard to disguise her disappointment. She reached for the doorknob.

“Dreams can seem very real. I know how much you wanted this wonderful story to be true.”

“But…” Lilly turned and looked at Alice. There was so much she wanted to say, but it wouldn’t make any difference. She’d done all she could think to do, and nothing had changed. They stood in the open doorway, the full moon shining brightly overhead. Lilly looked at it with longing. Somewhere in the world they were celebrating Walpurgisnacht as the arrival of spring. Was it true that the veil between the worlds was now thinnest, or was that all a story, too?

“There’s still so much we don’t know or understand about the subconscious mind,” said Alice, absently reaching for the ancient pendant around her neck. “This was something you needed to try, or else you’d have always wondered. But regardless, we are still friends, and we share wonderful memories in this lifetime. That is the important part.” Seeing the stone, Lilly thought of the story Alice had told her when she was small.

“Can you tell me the story about the rainbow moonstone again?” she said. She suddenly needed to hear it. She remembered how mysterious the story had seemed when she was little.

“You remember that story?” laughed Alice, still moving the stone in her fingers. She smiled. “The story goes that the labradorite stone has been in my family for centuries.” Once again, she told Lilly of the two friends who had to say goodbye. When Alice got to the end, Lilly saw something strange happening to the labradorite stone around Alice’s neck.

“Alice! The rainbow moonstone!” said Lilly as the stone began to glow brighter and brighter. Rainbow colours pulsed like a beating heart. Lilly gasped and stepped backwards as a rainbow of colours lit up the air between them. High above, the full moon beckoned them to look upward. They stood in quiet awe for a time, unable to move or even speak.

“The Night Goddess is calling to us,” said Alice, looking at Lilly. Her expression had changed from surprise to that of understanding. “My dear, sweet lily-of-the-valley,” she said, now smiling. There was recognition in her eyes, a song her soul remembered from long ago. “It has been a very long time.”

“Alisz!” gasped Lilly, as a flood of memories washed through her. “Is it really you?”