Chapter 10
I quit a job once after only four days. Fresh out of graduate school with a brand-spanking-new MSW degree under my arm, I took a job at a foster care agency. I was worried about not knowing the ropes, the laws, or much of anything, and I was terrified that first day of work. My supervisor started me off with an easy assignment: conducting intake interviews over the phone…in a large room…with ten other workers. I’ll bet you can see where this is going. I heard every click of the phone, every chair shuffling, and every paper rustling. I thought I was going to go out of my mind because I could not filter out the sounds. I quit because I couldn’t make out what the person on the phone was saying, not because the work was too hard or because I didn’t understand what was needed of me.
Back then, I had no clue what ADHD was, let alone that I had it. So, of course, it never occurred to me to ask for accommodations. I have heard countless similar stories from women with ADHD when it comes to workplace challenges. Women with ADHD have to work ten times harder than women without ADHD just to meet baseline expectations in the workplace. Picture being on a team of divers tasked with documenting a shipwreck, and you’re the only one without an air tank. That’s what it’s like for the woman with ADHD. Your job includes all the usual workplace expectations like being on time, multitasking, scheduling, prioritizing, organizing, staying focused, and developing and maintaining excellent relationships with coworkers and clients. How do you do it? Just keep swimming! It’s exhausting and somewhat terrifying, but those are the rules of the game if you want to play.
Now, this assumes that you’ve already run the gauntlet of career choices and found one that is a fit. Finding one’s life path is challenging enough for those without ADHD, but add a potentially disabling condition to the mix and the choices are greatly diminished. The important thing is to use strategies to help you manage the non-ADHD-friendly aspects of your job. This chapter will address what those are and how to get beyond them. Let’s look first at the non-ADHD-friendly aspects of work.
ADHD follows you everywhere, from home straight to your desk at work. Your symptoms at work simply cause their own unique problems and impact your clients, coworkers, and boss. Getting to work on time can also create anxiety and tension, as well as conflict with your boss. Struggling to keep up with schedules, business meetings, and phone calls can impact how successful you are at carrying out your work duties and also cause friction with other staff members. Other challenges include distractions, such as people talking and phones ringing, that impede your ability to focus, and fluorescent lighting, which can make it hard to concentrate. Finding the right environment to work in successfully is hard, but harder yet is figuring out the right career for you.
Everyone wants a job they love and excel at, but your ADHD and past experiences, especially all the years you lived undiagnosed and untreated, can lead you to make poor career decisions. As a result, you may even land a job that you hate and that is also not ADD-friendly. You may contort yourself into the position in an effort to conform and play the game, but holding that position can be a setup for failure and stress-related health issues, especially if you do so for a long time. If you received poor grades in school, you probably went into adulthood with low self-esteem and a fear of failure. Even if you excelled in school, you might have worries about finding a job that fits, knowing how hard you needed to work to stay afloat as a student.
Many women with ADHD are underemployed and underpaid because they are afraid of taking the leap into a job they fear might be too difficult for them, resulting in many unhappy years stuck in dead-end, boring, or stressful jobs. And even if you land that job you had always hoped for, your ADHD can hit you squarely between the eyes. Even in a job you love, your unmet ADHD needs can cause many hardships, transforming otherwise wonderful employment into the job from hell. And unlike school, where you can usually get support from your teachers and the disabilities department, your boss and coworkers might not have the same empathy and desire to see you succeed. Not only do you need to think about all the things that go into the right choice of career, but once you land that dream job, you’ll need to make another big decision: do you disclose your ADHD or not?
If you’re incredibly lucky, you’ve found a job that celebrates your strengths and is a good fit for your ADHD. However, many find that their symptoms still create havoc. How do you get help? Do you disclose your ADHD? Most ADHD experts suggest not even disclosing your ADHD to your employer because, sadly, many will use the information against you. Some may think you are using your diagnosis as a way to avoid certain obligations and may pile even more work on you. Others might not believe ADHD exists and purposely reject your informal accommodation requests. Or they may become critical or dismissive of your difficulties. Some may think that you will not be able to handle the job because they have no real understanding of ADHD and simply see it as a liability rather than a possible asset. If they think it may inhibit good work, you may be asked to leave. There are a lot of challenges in working for people who don’t understand or care to help you with your ADHD-related issues. Is it, then, easier to work for yourself, to be your own boss?
Many people dream of being their own bosses and having their own businesses. People with ADHD often think big and have incredibly creative ideas. Perhaps you’ve had thoughts about being an entrepreneur, working your own hours, and developing ideas, products, or services. Is this the right fit for you?
Walking the Wire Without a Net
Remember that, without the pressure of your boss or having coworkers around, you might be more likely to go off task due to the lack of external structure. It may be harder to meet deadlines and attend to all the details, such as administrative tasks of paperwork, bookkeeping, scheduling, and returning e-mails and phone calls. You may have many ideas but no solid plan to implement them; when a new idea hits, you’re off and running, leaving previous ones to languish in the dust. If you’re working from home, chances are you may get distracted by your family members, pets, TV, and computer, as well as all the other things that are at your fingertips, vying for your attention. And if you find yourself backed against the wall, losing the battle to get work done by a deadline or facing important paperwork that’s grown like weeds, you might bail out of frustration or jump ship when you become bored.
The Money Pit
Managing the finances can also be a huge pitfall. Adults with ADHD (not just women) are prone to mishandling money due to impulsivity or an inability to handle details. Bookkeeping, balancing checkbooks, and paying bills can be especially hard due to the challenges people with ADHD face with executive functioning, procrastination, avoidance, and difficulties with details. That doesn’t mean you should avoid going into business for yourself. In fact, many of the most successful entrepreneurs have or are thought to have ADHD. For example, best-selling author, entrepreneur, and marketing genius Seth Godin has ADHD, as does David Neeleman, founder and former CEO of JetBlue Airways. What’s important is to have plans in place to support you so that you can thrive being on your own.
If you are that tankless diver mentioned at the beginning of this chapter, there are a number of tricks to help you keep breathing in the workplace—even if you don’t have an air tank. Let’s explore some solutions to help you find success in the workplace, whether you work for someone else or are a self-employed entrepreneur.
Clutter Bug DDT
Don’t despair! You can keep your work area clean and “just tidy enough.” Keep that terrifying swarm of clutter at bay by setting up an efficient filing system and develop a routine for getting your paperwork done, such as setting aside a specific time each day to handle paperwork. Use the same system that works for you at home. If you need to see your papers and files, use an open filing system instead of an enclosed one. Dedicate time each day to tidying up your workspace and include your “tidy up” time in your planner. This could be the first or/and last ten minutes of your workday. Make it a daily routine. Another important routine? Make sure you look at your planner first thing when you arrive at work.
Making Paperwork Work for You
Don’t have a meltdown over paper piles. They can be tamed! Get into the habit of taking care of paperwork as soon as you touch it. Set up a two-level tray and label the trays “Do Today” and “Do Later.” Put papers that cannot be taken care of immediately into the Do Today tray. Allot ten minutes at the end of your day to taking care of the Do Today papers. Review the Do Later papers at the end of each week. Delegate or toss any paperwork that realistically you aren’t going to do. Consider bartering tasks with coworkers. For example, ask them to handle the paperwork in exchange for taking on phone duty.
Keep the Horse from Going Back to the Barn
You still need some tricks up your sleeve to keep you afloat and organized at work. Here are a few more.
Ask your boss and coworkers to put verbal task requests and communications into an e-mail and send them to you. This way, you won’t have to remember all the details, and you’ll have those trusty visual cues to keep you on task. The added bonus is that you’ll have a record of the requests/communication that you can keep in a special “to do” folder in your e-mail program.
Another helpful idea is to keep a short to-do list for each day and tape it to your desk or wall to keep it visible. (Remember, out of sight is out of mind for the ADHD brain.) Ask your boss to break down large projects into smaller, doable tasks. For repetitive but complicated tasks, write down the steps on index cards and post them in a visible place.
Antidistraction Action
There are lots of ways to manage the many distractions at work. Here are just a few ideas to get you started, but perhaps you can come up with more on your own:
Great! Now that you’ve got some tools for handling the distractions, you’re on your way to mastering time management.
Don’t let your ADHD symptoms get the best of you. Just like at home, there are lots of solutions to help you stay on track at work so that you can stay on top of your game:
These are all great tips to help you find success at work. But what do you do if you can’t even decide what sort of job is a good fit for you?
Finding the right job or career takes some deep thought. It can be tough to choose something you are both passionate about and good at. Author and ADHD expert, Wilma Fellman, MEd, author of Finding a Career That Works for You: A Step-by-Step Guide to Choosing a Career (2006), has written extensively about careers for men and women with ADHD. She doesn’t state which careers are best, but to help you find the right match, she suggests that you learn (1) more about yourself—your interests, challenges, strengths, and preferred style of working (for example, physical or sedentary; a job that requires you to think on your feet or one that allows for quiet reflection)—and (2) more about different types of jobs before you take on a specific position or career. Simply stated, she reinforces the importance of choosing a career that works for you!
If you find a career you love, your passion will shine through, energizing and motivating you. You’ll be leading more with your strengths than your challenges, though you will still need to figure out accommodations for your ADHD. Though typically hyperactive folks seek high-stimulation jobs like police work, emergency room support, or sales, someone else with ADHD may do well as an accountant because she loves numbers, hyperfocuses, and finds deadlines extremely helpful for keeping her on task. Others who thrive in calm environments might seek out careers in writing, research, or computers. Or those same folks might still be drawn to high-stimulation careers because of their interests and skills. Whatever you choose, even if it seems like a mismatch, you need to figure out how to make it work for you.
To help you decide on a career, think about your lifelong dreams. Perhaps you envisioned being a physician because you like to help people, but realize that ten-plus years of higher education is not something you can emotionally or financially handle while managing your ADHD. If the idea of sitting in a classroom for many more years is too unsettling, think of other health care jobs or helping professions that better suit you and that don’t require such a rigorous training schedule. But remember, lots of people with ADHD get through medical school. Sometimes passion about the subject matter can help drive the focus necessary to handle demanding academic material.
Ideally, seek out a career counselor with expertise in working with ADHD or other invisible disabilities. To find such a person, contact your state Department of Vocational Rehabilitation for offices near you. Fellman (2006), in Finding a Career That Works for You, also suggests visiting job sites and shadowing people to experience firsthand what the job or career entails. ADHD coaches are now beginning to seek out specialized training to help adults searching for career support. You may want to find a coach with this unique background. See http://ADDconsults.com for more information on this type of coaching. Career counselors are trained to help you learn more about your personality, style, strengths, and challenges. Do take advantage of this wonderful resource. Understanding what sort of job is a good match for you will potentially save you from a lifetime of boredom, depression, anxiety, stress, and more.
Honor the “Active” in Hyperactive
If you’re the hyperactive/impulsive subtype, you may crave stimulation and movement and be drawn to jobs that require that sort of activity, such as hospital emergency room worker, news reporter, police officer, firefighter, salesperson, preschool or elementary school teacher, performer, or independent contractor. That doesn’t mean you can’t handle a job that is less physical, but if you do, be sure you have physical outlets during the day to help you stay calm and focused. Fidgets—things you can manipulate in your hands, such as stress balls—are helpful. Many women who are hyperactive find that jobs in the military suit their need for structure and accountability.
Inattentive Doesn’t Mean Boring!
If you are a woman with inattentive-subtype ADHD, you might crave a quiet, reflective type of job, but that doesn’t mean you are limited to a desk job. You might enjoy doing fieldwork in nature or maybe working in a research lab, working in a library, doing technical work, interior design, or teaching yoga.
On the other hand, plenty of inattentive women feel rewarded working in highly stimulating environments like classrooms and in the performing arts. Such jobs, however, may require extra compensations, such as building in downtime to help replenish your energy. Inattentive women typically still have hyperactive brains and need to be challenged and stimulated, so it’s important that you don’t fall into the sort of job in which you feel stagnant.
Now you have a better idea of how to find the job to best suit you. Next, you need to determine whether or not to share news of your ADHD with your boss or coworkers—and if so, how much you should tell them.
Advocating for your needs without putting your job in jeopardy is certainly a challenge. But should you decide to share your condition with your boss and coworkers, here are a number of tips to keep in mind.
The Law Is on Your Side
There are laws to protect your rights. The Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA) now lists ADHD as a disability. The ADA is a set of federal laws designed to end discrimination in the workplace for people with disabilities and to provide equal employment opportunities. This means that, by law, you might be eligible for special supports if you and your workplace meet certain criteria. The ADA protects workers with disabilities in many ways. Employers (again, if certain criteria are met) must offer accommodations (again, under certain conditions) to level the playing field for you. The accommodations aren’t specific but can be things like setting up organizational systems, allowing for flextime, providing checklists, offering visual or auditory cues, and similar helps. You can read more about your rights at http://www.ada.gov.
That’s the good news. The bad news is that few people are successful in getting the laws to work in their favor so that they can request—and receive—formal accommodations. Likewise, few are successful in winning employment discrimination cases. Even if you absolutely require and are eligible to receive accommodations, it can be incredibly difficult and expensive to win a case against an employer who refuses to provide them. Because of this, it is best to try to work things out with your boss or the human resources department at your place of employment. In fact, most ADHD experts suggest not even disclosing your ADHD, as, sadly, many employers will use the information against you. We have a long way to go to educate those in the workplace so that people with ADHD can be employed successfully. In fact, many adults with ADHD bring so much spark, creative thinking, and tenacity to the job that encouraging them through various means of support can only benefit everyone.
Your best bet is to ask for accommodations informally without sharing your ADHD diagnosis. Use descriptive words to explain your difficulty. Start by telling your boss that your intention is to be really productive and that you are serious about doing your best. For example, “I really want to do a great job, but when coworkers constantly interrupt me to tell me something, I often get derailed and then cannot do my best work. Is it okay if I sit in a different room to work on this project?” Always make requests in a positive way from a position of strength.
Bonus Tips
There are lots of things you can do to make your workplace more ADHD “friendly.” Here are some additional tips to help you be successful:
Hopefully these tips will help you both be successful and feel successful as you work for someone else.
Some women, however, have found great relief from the stresses of trying to fit into a specific work culture by becoming entrepreneurs and setting up their workspaces and assignments to accommodate their ADHD. Let’s learn a bit more about how they make being an entrepreneur work.
If you’re having a hard time fitting into the corporate world, and if you like the idea of being your own boss, have lots of ideas, and are highly motivated, consider starting your own business! I have often seen that those with ADHD have many qualities of the entrepreneur: they’re creative, open to new strategies, and willing to take risks. (This is especially true of the hyperactive/impulsive subtype.) But being on your own without any built-in structure can cause problems. What do you do to avoid the many potential ADHD-related pitfalls? In order to be successful, you’ll need to find ways to accommodate your ADHD tendencies and symptoms.
Coaches Rule! (in a Good Way)
Before jumping in with a grand business idea, it’s a good idea to hire a business coach to help you develop one-, three-, five-, and ten-year plans as well as to hold you accountable for every step of getting there. And working with an ADHD coach is almost a must. Your coach will help you set up systems in order to stay on top of all the things that generally throw you off your game: time management, paperwork, clutter, and so on. If hiring an ADHD coach isn’t an option for you due to financial restrictions, then perhaps you might look for a business partner who balances your weaknesses with his or her strengths, and vice versa. Perhaps you are the creative force in the business, while your partner is gifted at handling details like bookkeeping, structure, and management.
If you start your own business, you may work by yourself or with others. Even though you may be working with fewer people than if you worked for someone else (though not always), you still have to figure out how to deal with distractions. Let’s look at some ways to do that.
Oh, This Will Just Take a Minute (Three Hours Later…)
Now that you are a business owner, all the responsibilities rest on your shoulders. How do you balance everything—setting goals, staying focused, and managing distractions—while dealing with your ADHD at your home office? Here are a few tips:
Now that you have some ideas for how to organize your “internal” space, it’s time to organize your “external” space so that it works for you. Here are some ideas to get you started.
Playing with Your Space
Since you now have more flexibility in where and how you’ll work, you’ll want to maximize your space and organizational options in order both to be comfortable and to be as productive as possible. I thought that describing my home office and how I set it up to suit me might be helpful, so here goes. Maybe it will give you some ideas for yours.
You Are Now Entering…“The Terry Zone”
When I first started working out of my home, I took a spare bedroom for my think-tank workspace. Since I have visuospatial difficulties—meaning a hard time visualizing things—I hired a professional organizer to get me set up and to teach me strategies for keeping my workspace organized. I also hired a decorator who could pull together the room in a way to make it not only attractive but “ADHD friendly” as well. The professional organizer (yes, there are POs who specialize in ADHD!) installed shelves in the closet and organized the space so that it made logical sense: office supplies in one area, binders in another, and so on. Those of us with ADHD usually have the “out of sight, out of mind” syndrome, so she showed me how to take an item, like a brochure, out of its box and fold it over the edge so that I had a visual cue as to what was in the box. My printer, scanner, and fax machines are in the closet, along with professional journals, magazines, and more. The decorator assessed my needs with me, and then helped me choose lots and lots of storage for my books and files. The files are in closed file cabinets: work files in one area of the room, personal files in another. My greatest joy is my stainless steel desk that spans the entire back wall of the room so that I can really spread out. Since I can’t picture things in my head, I have no idea where my projects and materials are. I have to be able to see my stuff in order to function at my best. With my long table, I can keep many of my important things in plain view.
Manageable clutter is not always a bad thing. For many of us, our creative juices flow when we have visual stimuli prompting us. I have a large bulletin board on the front of the closet door and three smaller ones near that. There are also slanted storage bins on two walls that hold spiral notebooks for all my various projects, along with magazines and journals. Of course, I also have the computer on the desk and lots of lamps along with natural light coming in from two windows. And for me, a comfortable office chair is a must. To remind myself that I need to take breaks, I have a cozy recliner in one corner with reading material next to it. There’s also a small sofa to encourage my family to hang out with me when I’m taking breaks or just keep me company by doing a quiet activity while I work.
You might also want to carve out a small space where you can relax and meditate or listen to calming music as you work or take breaks. (For more details on how to prepare such a space, look for the “Terry’s ADHD Comfort Zone” section in chapter 11.) Whiteboards, bulletin boards, and flip charts will help you capture your ideas and keep you on track. If at all possible, find a work area that has a door so you can shut out distractions. But if there’s simply no space or if your home is too distracting, you might need to consider renting office space elsewhere.
Setting up a workspace is just half the battle. Now that you’re your own boss, how do you manage your finances?
Let’s Face It—M-M-Money Make$ the World Go Around
Though money management can be a real challenge, there are lots of ways to get around this often tedious, detail-oriented task. Here are some ideas to help you with this often very difficult part of your business:
Money management isn’t always easy, but it doesn’t have to stop you from being successful. Now that you have the gist of things and are ready to jump in, here are a few more tips to help you on your way.
Bonus Tips
Every day, there are more and more resources out there to help the busy entrepreneur. Below are just a few ideas:
Working on your own can be an exciting, satisfying experience. And as long as you have the supports you need, you can truly sail.
Women with ADHD have much to juggle in life, from managing a home and family to enjoying a fulfilling career. Getting the help you need for your ADHD is the key to making it all work. It’s not always an easy road, but it is entirely doable as long as you have a good understanding of your ADHD, how it affects you, and what you need in order to make your ADHD work for you.
Chapter 11