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“Matt’s out there.” Her mother stopped in her bedroom doorway. “He wants to talk to you. What happened, Lily?”
“Nothing.”
Lily couldn’t look at her mother. She’d run from Matt’s rejection straight into remembering her mother’s. She sank onto her bed and covered her face with her hands. She had no idea what to do.
“Darling, he’s waiting outside the door. I can tell him you don’t want to talk to him, if you want.” She leant against the door frame. “He didn’t hurt you, did he? You can tell me.”
“No, he hasn’t hurt me.”
“You’re eighteen. I know it hurts, I know you think you love him. And you probably do. But first love rarely lasts, it’s just a beginning for you, not the end.”
Lily couldn’t tell her what it was. She couldn’t tell her he was mad at her because she’d made out with his cousin. Or that she’d made out with the twins and enjoyed every second of it. If she thought she was evil now, she had no idea what she’d think of her after she heard all that.
“I’ll tell him you don’t want to talk to him.” She pushed away from the door.
“No, wait.” Panic flooded her.
She looked back at Lily, one hand on the doorframe. “Do you want me to send him up?”
“You’d trust me up here? With him?”
“I wasn’t born yesterday. He was here last night, wasn’t he?”
Her mind went blank, she couldn’t say it was him, and she couldn’t say it wasn’t.
“Lily, do you want me to send him up or away?” Frustration crept into her voice.
“Send him up, please,” she whispered.
Her mother shrugged and went down, and it wasn’t long before she saw Matt’s dirty blonde hair as he came up.
“Hey.” He stopped in the doorway, his hands in his pockets.
“Hey.”
“I was cruel to you this morning. I was out of order, I’m sorry.” He didn’t move from the doorway.
“It was too much for you. I’m sorry too, Matt.” She bit back the tears that wanted to flow. Nate said he hadn’t meant it, that Matt had been jealous only, but Lily wasn’t convinced. Matt had acted on instinct, his subconscious told him it was wrong, even if he didn’t know it.
“I don’t want to lose you, any of you, but I can’t—”
“Don’t!”
“Don’t what?”
“Don’t give up on me, please.” He came in and closed the door.
“I won’t come between you all. I’m not going to be the reason you fight.” Misery enveloped her.
“You aren’t. You won’t be. I was jealous, and I wasn’t thinking straight.”
“It’s because you were thinking straight. I felt like you caught me cheating on you.”
“You weren’t cheating on me.” He shook his head. “I didn’t think you were cheating, I was jealous and an asshole.”
“You were jealous because it’s not normal to walk in on your girlfriend wearing your cousin’s t-shirt. Your subconscious realises it isn’t normal.”
“Fuck my subconscious and fuck normal. I don’t want normal. I want you.” He pointed at her and then towards the door, breathing heavily. “And I want them. I want you all. And I forgot that for a while, but I won’t forget it again.”
“And if you come up here again, and I’ve got Nate’s shirt on? Or I tell you I’ve been making out with the twins? Tell me honestly.” She watched him carefully; his tongue may lie but she hoped his eyes wouldn’t.
“I’ll get jealous.”
She’d asked for honest and he’d given it to her, but it still broke her heart. “And that’s why this could never—”
“I haven’t finished. I’ll want it to be me. But I won’t fuck up again. I need them, and I need you.”
“Matt, jealousy will eat away at you.”
“It’ll get easier.” He caught her hands and tugged her to her feet.
“No. It won’t—”
He pushed his lips against hers to silence her. He buried his face into her neck, his arms wrapped around her hips. “Don’t give up on me, please,” he whispered. “Give us a chance to prove to you we want to do this. I want to do this. I want you to be my girlfriend, and I want you to be theirs too. Please, forgive me, I love you so fucking much. I can’t lose you.”
Lily threw her arms around his neck, tears falling at his words. “I love you, Matt. I love you.”
He exhaled, pulling her up against him. “Bloody hell, I love you, I love you, I love you.” He swung her from side to side, her feet dangling, his face in her neck. “We will work this out, and you will never regret it, I promise.”
—***—
“WHAT’S WITH THE FRANTIC, cryptic message to meet you here? What’s wrong with dropping in like you usually do?” Jonas set his glass of beer onto the table and pulled up a stool.
They’d got Matt up to speed on what happened at the lake, but they had no idea what it meant, if anything. They’d agreed to meet Jonas, ask him if he was hiding them. Depending on his reply, they’d decide whether to tell him about her dream or not. Nate had sent him a text asking him to meet them at the Blue Pig in Porthaven. It was neutral ground and there were no relatives behind the bar.
Jonas pulled a face when no one spoke. “Do I have to do twenty—” He looked at Lily, his eyebrows shot up. “Are you pregnant?”
“Why does everyone assume I’m pregnant?” she exclaimed.
“Not saying you are, but there are many accidents.” Jonas sent her a smile. “So, no baby on the way, who’s died then?”
None of them responded, and Lily nudged Nate with her elbow.
He sent her a glare and pushed up his glasses. “We just wondered, or rather, we wanted to know. We thought we should—”
“Are you covering their magic?” If she waited for Nate or the others to get around to it she’d be old and grey.
“Fuck sake,” Nate hissed. “I was just saying that.”
“No, you weren’t, you were procrastinating.” She looked back at Jonas. “Are you?”
“What do you think?” He picked up his beer and took a sip, his gaze holding hers.
“I think you are,” she replied.
He tipped the glass at her in a salute. “Clever girl, how did you know?”
“Why?” Nate demanded.
Jonas pulled a face at him and looked at Matt. “Do I really need to answer why?”
“You covered their magic to protect them,” Lily said, nodding. “Because they’d be in danger if you didn’t.”
“Exactly,” he agreed. “I set the spell as soon as I knew what you were, what you could do, especially Matt.”
“Why didn’t you tell us?” Nate asked.
“It was years ago, and I’ve never thought to tell you.”
“Can you remove it?” Matt asked.
“Yes, but why? It’s for your protection. How did you work it out, Lily?”
She bit her lip and looked at Nate before owning up. “It was my fault. I’m sorry. Drew told us.”
“Drew?” Jonas barked.
She winced, shrinking down between Matt and Nate.
“It’s not your fault,” Nate told her, and looked back at Jonas. “We weren’t careful, Drew saw something, but he said he already knew we were fae.”
“He did? How?”
“You wiped the memory of a boy called Johnston when we were kids,” Josh said, opening his packet of crisps.
Jonas nodded. “I remember him. He saw you heal the bird, and I covered it. How did Drew find it?”
“He was poking around in his memories and found it. He removed it and got him kicked out of college.” Jake dug into his packet of crisps.
“What?” Jonas straightened. “He did what? He can’t do that. That’s a violation.”
“Drew was protecting me. Johnston was threatening me, and Drew altered his memories of me and he found you,” she said.
He lifted his eyebrows and snorted. “Highly unorthodox and immoral. He had no right to do that.”
“I prefer it to being raped.” Lily arched an eyebrow at him, and he had the grace to nod in acknowledgment.
“Well.” He blew out his breath. “At least we know it still works. If it wasn’t for you he’d never had found them.”
“It isn’t her fault,” Nate snapped. “You can’t blame her for Johnston being a perverted little wanker.”
“I wasn’t blaming you, Lily. I apologise if you thought I was. Nate, please, do try and watch your language. You haven’t crawled out of the sewer.” He drained his beer and put the glass down. “I know he’s your father, Lily, but be careful around him. Those spells, Obscurus Arcanum? They’re not called dark magic for nothing.”
“He explained why he did it,” she said.
“Just don’t take anything at face value. Sometimes people don’t tell you what you need to know, no matter how much they may want to.” His gaze met and held hers, and a shiver went down her back.
He winced, and a tiny trickle of blood seeped from the corner of his mouth. He took out a handkerchief and wiped it away quickly.
“You’re bleeding,” Nate pointed out.
“I bit my tongue; just being clumsy.”
Matt reached out, but Jonas jerked back, glaring at him. “Not here, Matt, never in public.”
“Sorry, instinctive,” Matt muttered.
“Is there any other reason I was summoned from my fireplace this evening?” He smiled at them.
“Lily had...saw...” Josh looked at her. “You tell it.”
“There’s a shield around this table, you can say what you need to, no one will hear anything except casual conversation from here,” Jonas told her.
For the fourth time that day she recounted her dream. The twins picked up from where they’d woken her.
“I thought she was choking.” Josh rubbed the back of his neck. “She was flipping, grabbing at her throat, and gurgling. It was freaky scary.”
“Where were you? The Quarry?” Jonas asked.
“No, Dozmary Pool,” Jake answered him.
“Bodmin?” Matt sat up. “You went without us?”
“Keep your hair on,” Jake drawled. “We didn’t take her to the Inn, just the pool.”
Matt pulled a face and sat back. “Thanks, I guess.”
“Yeah, but the pool?” Nate exclaimed. “That place is special, we should all have been there.”
“Enough.” Jonas heaved a sigh and looked at her. “Did the twins explain what the pool is?”
“Yeah.” She picked up her glass. “I could feel it was special there.”
“You connected with the magic. I’d have been more surprised if you hadn’t.”
“You think it was a vision?” she asked.
“I’m not sure. It all seems a bit metaphorical. Arguing with Drew, hiding the boys. Maybe it was your subconscious playing over all the angst you’ve had recently.”
“My angst?” She stared at him, not sure what to make of that.
“It’s a magical place, you were asleep. The energy in the area would be enough to bring your fears to the front of your mind.”
“I’m not scared of a horse riding, sword wielding maniac coming anytime soon,” she retorted.
“Dreams are never very reasonable.” He smiled at her and looked across at Nate. “So where are you headed now? Back to yours?”
“No, we’re staying at Matt’s tonight.” Nate drained his drink.
They’d accepted everything he’d said, they had no more doubts. Lily wasn’t sold on it though, he was too vague about her dream, too dismissive.
“Have you heard anything?” Josh asked Jonas. “About his ring?”
“Yes, I have actually. I told you it was an ancient symbol, going back much further than the Council, and they weren’t the only ones to use it. It’s a symbol well known to Alchemists. Drew could be an Alchemist. He seems to have his fingers in a lot of pies, it’s not too much of a stretch to add Alchemy to that.”
“So the Council didn’t bind him?” Matt asked, his hand slid onto her thigh.
“The Council didn’t bind him.”
“He’s lying about not being able to see you.” Nate slid his arm around her shoulders.
They were convinced that Drew had lied to her, but Lily wasn’t so sure. It wasn’t just wishful thinking either, she was certain there was something Jonas wasn’t saying and because of that the jury was still out for both of them
“I’d ask him—” Jonas breathed in through his nose.
“Are you okay?” Matt began to get up, but Jonas held up a hand.
“I’m fine. I’m sorry, Lily, I really am. Don’t blindly believe everything, no matter how much you may want to.” He held her gaze and again she got the feeling there was more to what he was saying.
“I’m sorry,” blurted Nate. “I doubted you. I didn’t want to believe it.”
Jonas waved a hand. “I should have told you the moment you were old enough. I just didn’t think about it.” He stood up and looked around at them all. “Are we good?”
“Yeah, more than good, thanks, Jonas,” Matt said. The others followed suit, and Lily knew for them it was over. Jonas hadn’t lied. End of story.
“Great, well I’d best get on.” He patted Nate’s shoulder. “Take care and just be careful. I’ll let you know if anything else comes back.” He gave a wave and left.
“You okay?” Matt rubbed her lower back.
“I’m fine.” But she wasn’t, her mind was in a whirl, but she knew, for the moment at least, they wouldn’t accept any doubt she raised.
“Sorry, Lil,” Josh murmured.
“I don’t know Drew well, it’s not like I was close to him,” she replied and picked up her orange juice. But that hadn’t stopped her from imagining what it would be like to have him as her father.
They sat in silence as they finished their drinks, trying not to think about the possibility Drew was lying. She set her empty glass on the table and glanced at the twins. They were glaring at Nate and Matt, arms folded, and eyes narrowed, and it grated on her.
“What? What is it now?” she demanded.
“You knew we wanted to go there as well,” Nate said to Josh, ignoring Lily’s question. “Look what happened when we weren’t all together.”
“What do you think you could do against a nightmare, Nate?” Josh sneered at him. “That your mere presence alone would prevent it?”
“No, of course not,” Nate snapped. “Why there though? You knew!”
“We didn’t think,” Jake said. “We’re sorry, okay? You two were fighting, Lily was upset. We just took her out on the bikes and ended up there.”
“We didn’t even know where we were headed till we got there,” Josh added.
“You could have turned around,” Matt pointed out.
“Stop it.” She slapped her palms onto the table and winced at the sting. “I refuse to do this.”
“Do what?” Nate asked her.
“Do I really need to spell it out?” She shook her head. “You were fighting this morning, but you tell me it’s okay because it won’t happen again. Now, here you are, less than a few hours later doing the same thing again.”
“No. It’s not the same,” Matt argued. “It’s not they took you out.”
“It’s where they took you,” Nate finished.
“And we’re sorry,” Josh tried again. “We really didn’t think. We only took her to the pool, we didn’t even drive past the Jamaica Inn.”
“But you knew we all wanted to go.” Matt sat back and folded his arms, still glaring at them.
Anger flashed up and she tapped her nails on the table. “I’m never going there again.”
“Why not?” Matt turned to her in surprise.
“Well, I assumed with all the fuss you two are making this was my one and only chance of going there.”
“That’s not it either. I wanted to see how your magic would react when it connected with the magic there,” Nate said.
“You’d have been disappointed then, nothing happened.” Her irritation drained into exhaustion. “Guys, I really can’t do this. I can’t keep making you get angry with each other. I just—”
“You told us you loved us,” Josh blurted. “You can’t drop that on us and then walk away.”
“I’m not saying—”
“You told me too,” Matt exclaimed.
Nate grunted and stood up. “I need a piss.” He stalked away his back rigid.
“Oh, well done,” she snapped. “I haven’t had a chance to tell him I love him too yet.”
“Bugger.” Matt moved to get up.
Lily pushed him down as she got up. “I’ll go and talk to him. You all need to get your heads on straight; I won’t be the reason to tear you apart. I love you, I love you all, but this isn’t working right now.”
She left the table and followed Nate down a narrow corridor with a floor so uneven she could have been out at sea, or drunk. She called his name, but he went into the men’s toilets, the door shutting behind him. She rolled her eyes and leant against wall, waiting for him to come out.
Several minutes later, and after two other men had gone in and out again she lost patience. She slapped a hand over her eyes and pushed open the door.
“I’m coming in,” she called and stepped inside, letting the door close behind her. “I can’t see anything, but I apologise anyway. Nate? Nate? Where are you?”
“For fuck’s sake, this is the men’s. You can’t come in here.” Nate caught her arms and tried to bundle her back out.
She dug her heels in, refusing to let him push her. “No, Nate. You will listen to me.” She kept her eyes covered with one hand and gripped at his jacket with the other.
He jerked back from her. “Get out before you give someone a heart attack.”
“No, I’m not leaving. Not till I say this. Yes, I love them. Yes, I told them this morning. Then Matt got all weird and I ran off like a coward, you know the rest. Thing is, Nate, I haven’t had five seconds alone with you, to tell you that I—” She stopped, blind behind her hand. She was about to hand him her heart having no idea if he felt the same for her.
“Go on,” he whispered.
“I love you.” She held her breath but there was no reply.
Her heart sank, and tears filled her eyes. “You don’t have to say anything. It won’t change anything. They said they loved me, but even if you don’t—”
His lips stopped the rest of her words. He drew her hand from her eyes and backed up, looking at her but not letting go of her hand. “I love you too.”
“Really? You’re not just saying that? Y’know, because I said it and you feel awkward and sorry for me.”
He snorted, rolling his eyes. “Lily May, I love you.” He brought her hand to his mouth and kissed her knuckles.
She didn’t even try to control the wide smile that took over her face. She went into his arms and buried her face in his neck as he wound his arms around her waist.
“I’m pleased you kids have sorted this out, but do you think you could let me out now?”
Lily shot back from Nate, banging into the door. An elderly man stood behind Nate smiling at them.
“Sorry, sir.”
The faint tinge of red across Nate’s cheeks was no match for the burn on her own. She held the door open and stepped to one side. “I’m sorry.
“Most exciting thing to happen to me since ’66 when England won the World Cup.” He went out laughing and the door swung shut behind him.
Lily buried her face in Nate’s shoulder. “You could have said there was someone in here.”
“You’re joking. You do remember me trying to get you out, right?”
“Well, yeah.” Lily lifted her head and held his intense gaze. “Do you really love me?”
“Yeah, I do. I always will.”
There was quick tap on the door and it was opened. The bartender stuck his head around and leered at them. “I’ve a queue of gents here asking if you two are finished yet.”
Lily blushed as he winked at her, and she went through the door with Nate behind her. Two men were standing outside, talking to the elderly man
“I’m so sorry,” she muttered as scurried past them.
“’Tis all good, maybe get a hotel next time, be more comfortable.”
Their laughter rang in her ears as she all but ran back to their table, diving in next to Matt.
“Whoa. We could fry eggs on your cheeks.” Josh laughed.
Nate sat beside her and finished his Coke in one swallow.
“Everyone will think I just did the walk of shame.” She pressed her fingers to her burning cheeks.
“Well”—Josh looked at his watch—“you’ve only been gone about ten minutes, so, unless Nate is a quick finish, there wasn’t time for you to do the real walk of shame.”
“Get stuffed.” Nate flipped him the finger and then ruined it by grinning at him.
“That’s what everyone thought Lily was getting.” Jake cackled and high fived Josh.
“Guy, stop, please?” Lily begged. “It’s bad enough everyone knew I was in the men’s loo.”
“Sorry, we didn’t mean to embarrass you—just Nate.” Josh smirked at her.
“Who needs enemies, eh?” Nate tipped his glass at them and drained his Coke. “But talking about embarrassed, I overreacted, sorry.”
“S’okay,” Josh said. “Matt suggested something cool though, while you two were prematurely in the loo.”
“Josh.” Lily groaned, covering her eyes with her hand.
Jake laughed as Josh tugged gently on her fringe. “Sorry, Lily Pad. Go on, Matt, tell them what you said.”
“Halloween falls on a Tuesday this year, but it’s also half-term.” Matt looked at her and Nate. “We could go up there and stay for a couple of days.”
“There’s no way they’d rent a room to the five of us,” Nate replied.
“No, but the campsite is close enough. We could camp Monday and come back Thursday.”
“Camping? In a tent?” Lily wasn’t sure she liked the sound of that. “I don’t have a tent.”
“We do,” Nate said. “We’ve got a six berth, three rooms. We used to go camping every year until Mum decided a bed was better for her back. Dad misses it though.”
“Reckon he’d come with us?” Jake asked.
Josh looked at him in horror. “You want a parental unit with us, Jacob?”
“Why, Joshua, what did you have in mind that we couldn’t do in front of Uncle Adam?”
Josh gave him a sly smirk. “Besides, we can’t use magic around him.”
“Yeah, true. He was so much fun though.”
“Did you go on holiday together?” Lily asked.
“Yeah, of course,” Josh replied. “That’s why they camped, other than Uncle Adam harping back to his hippy days. When there’s four kids and two adults; camping is cheaper and way more fun.”
“Whoever went on holiday would take all of us,” Matt explained. “Except for my parents. They’d go skiing for their holiday, and I’d stay with Nate.”
Lily leant on her hand and sighed when Matt began to rub her lower back.
“Where did you go for your holidays?” asked Nate.
“Didn’t really. Mum was always painting and when it was the summer hols we were usually too busy moving and trying to settle someplace else.”
She saw Josh frown at Jake, and she shook her head. “You don’t miss what you’ve never had.” She didn’t want pity. It was one of those things that didn’t bother her. “Camping sounds different. Won’t it be too cold end of October?”
Matt put his mouth by her ear. “Nate keeps us toasty warm.” He sat back from her. “That’s why we keep him around. He has his uses sometimes.”
An urge to tease Nate flitted through her, and she bit her lip to stop the giggles that wanted to erupt. She caught Josh’s eye and winked before turning to Nate and smiling at him.
“They’re being mean to you, aren’t they?” She lifted her hand and stroked his cheek. “My poor, Iggy, I love you.” She nestled her head on his shoulder, making eye contact with Jake who was beaming in delight.
“I really don’t like that name.” Nate sounded uncomfortable.
She pulled back and pouted at him. “Oh, but I thought we could have special nicknames. I’ll call you Iggy and you can call me Snookums.”
She heard Matt choke on his drink with laughter, but she kept her gaze on Nate, poking her bottom lip out further. “Don’t you like me calling you Iggy?” She sniffed for effect.
“I like it as much as I’d like getting the plague,” Nate drawled. “I’m warning you, Lily May. Don’t.”
“It’s okay, baby, I get it.” She pecked his cheek, avoiding his gaze.
“That’s one happy memory,” Matt smirked. “You being sick all over Wendy’s”—he caught her glare—“ah, Drew’s shoes.”
“Best moment of our lives,” Jake announced. “Well, almost the best.” He winked at her, his eyes drifting to her breasts.
She flushed, widening her eyes at him to be quiet. “Back to camping. I’ll need to let Mum know.”
“Tell them what she said to you this morning,” Josh prompted her.
His words whisked her happiness away, leaving a deep sadness. She tried to keep the emotion from her voice as she spoke but failed. Nate wrapped his arm around her shoulders as Matt kept up a slow rub on her lower back.
“She’s worried it’s going to show around you,” she finished.
“We need to talk to her. Maybe get Jonas to talk to her. He’s already said he would,” Nate told her.
“I think if that happens, she’ll move us away faster than I can blink.”
“You could come and live with me,” Matt blurted. “We have the room.”
“Your parents wouldn’t allow that,” Nate said.
“I could talk to them.”
“They wouldn’t understand,” Josh said. “You wouldn’t be able to tell them the truth. All they’d think is you wanted to shack up with her under their roof. They’d never agree to that.”
“And if Lynda throws her out when she refuses to take the tablets?” Matt demanded.
“She won’t.” Nate shook his head.
“How can you be so sure?” Lily asked.
“Because she loves you,” Nate replied. “She’s wrong, but she’s done it to protect you. She’s panicking, and she’s scared.”
“Drew said the same to me when I lost my temper.”
Nate made a face but said nothing.
“I just need to convince her we should stay and that I don’t need the tablets. I’ll talk to her tomorrow when I get home from college. I’ve hardly seen her recently. I should stay in tomorrow evening with her.”
“That’s probably a good idea,” Josh said.
“Just sucks from our point of view,” Jake finished.
“What are you going to do about Drew?” Josh watched her through his fringe. They needed a haircut.
“I know you don’t like this, and I am sorry, but I need to know what else he says. I want to talk to him still.” She shrugged.
Jake reached out, took her hand, and stroked his fingers across her palm. Josh placed his fingers on the skin of her wrist. When they all touched her, when they were all focused, their connection was almost tangible.
“We’ll go along with whatever you want,” Matt said and slid his hand under her jumper to touch her bare skin. Nate’s fingers grazed over her throat, and she sighed.
“And we’re going to make us work,” Nate stated.
“Aye.” The whispered agreements caressed her.
“Aye,” she agreed. “We’ll make it work.”
