Once I’m by myself again, Nash rushes in the room. “Did he hurt you?”
He checks me over, moving his hands fervently over me. It's a pleasant sensation, until he stops.
Stepping back, he says, “Sorry. I got carried away. I don't know what I would do if he hurt you.”
“I'm fine. I woke before he attacked.”
“If you didn’t…”
“But I did.”
His caring for me is more than I expected. I thought he enjoyed my company, but not to this extent. It makes my heart warm.
He goes to the window and checks outside, like the guard did moments earlier. “I'll have guards I trust stationed outside your window at all times.”
“That's not necessary.”
He takes a step closer. “I assure you, it is. We would be lost without you. I'd be lost without you. I promise to do everything in my power to make certain you have a long reign.”
Why is it that it's easier to believe him than it is to believe myself? “Why do you say ‘we would be lost without you?’ I haven’t done much yet.”
“But you will. I can tell you’re going to save the people from their current circumstances.”
How does he know that? I don’t even know that.
“I'm going to spend the rest of the night outside your room,” he says.
“You don't have to do that. You should get some rest.”
“I do. I'll be fine.”
Despite the heat blossoming through me, I say, “You're going to be falling asleep at our meetings tomorrow.”
“If that's what it takes to keep you safe, I'll do it.”
“I can keep myself safe.”
He gives a half-smile. “Be that as it may, extra caution never hurt anything. I'm going to make certain you don't have to protect yourself any more than you have to.”
This brings something to mind. “Have there been other attacks I'm not aware of?”
He drops his gaze. “I'm afraid there have been a few more. I've interrogated the men myself, but no one is talking. Now,” Nash says, “try to get some sleep. I'll be around, so yell if you need anything. Anything at all.”
“I will.” Possibly.
He goes to the door and gives me another glance. “You're sure you're all right?”
“I'm perfectly well.” Except for the shaking in my knees. No matter how many times my life is threatened, I’m always reminded of Daros.
Nash’s gaze travels the length of me. Can he see my trembling? With a nod, he leaves and closes the door.
I hurt.
Why? I don't know. It's deep inside and makes me wish he didn't have to leave.
After checking the room and seeing there are guards outside my window, I move toward my bed. I'd like to climb up to the roof, but there's going to be none of that tonight. What time is it? It feels very late.
I plop onto my bed. It's surprising how quickly I got used to its softness. After a night like tonight, though, I can't bring myself to sleep on it. Instead, I drop down to the floor, on the side farthest from the window. I pull a pillow off the bed and settle it under my head.
The night is dark. Listless. I close my eyes.
The next thing I know, light is streaming in above the bed. Morning's here. How did I not toss and turn more? How wasn’t I riddled with fears? No nightmares. No lady in green. Nothing but soothing sleep.
I roll over. Nash sits with his back against the wall.
I brush the sleepiness from my eyes. “What are you doing?”
“I was so worried about you, I couldn't stay away. I had to make certain you were safe.”
Peace hums through me. “I have guards watching over me. Not to mention my own skills.”
“I know. It should be enough, but the thought that something might happen to you kept haunting me. I couldn't take that chance.”
Dark circles hang under his eyes. His gaze, though, is peaceful. More than that—something is in it. Something I can't read. “You should have gotten some sleep, but…” Can I tell him? I must. “I'm grateful for your caring.”
“It's the least I can do.”
“Why do you say that?”
“Because it's true. You're worth taking care of.”
I flush. Nothing like this has ever been said about me before. My only value has been my proficiency at killing. That doesn't matter to him. Somehow, he genuinely cares for me.
“Nash, I—”
“Breakfast,” Inkga says coming in through the door. “What are you doing on the floor?”
I give her a sheepish smile. “It's more comfortable.”
“Hmpf.” She brings the tray over to me. I sit up, and she sets it on my lap. “Nash thought you might like this brought in here this morning, after the commotion of last night. It’s been checked over by the new court poison checker”
“That was… thoughtful.” I am in awe of Nash.
Utter awe.
It's the most anyone has ever done for me—thinking of my needs. I don't know how to respond.
“Do you need a tray, Nash?” Inkga asks, interrupting my thoughts.
“No. I should get going.” He stands. “I have some guards I need to speak to this morning, and a prisoner who needs attention.”
I make to move the tray. “I'm coming with.”
“It's all right, Your Majesty,” he says. “I've got everything under control, and I will report back to you when I'm finished.”
He bows his head toward me, nods at Inkga, and is out of the room. I stare at the closed door.
“He is rather handsome, isn't he?” Inkga says. “I know the queen can't have relations, but he's mighty fine to look at.”
Jem said as much about relations earlier, but I didn't pay attention. Now I wish it were otherwise.