The morning is bright and cheery. I’m not.
It’s still early, and Inkga has yet to arrive, so I dress. I concentrate on concealing weapons and on what the First Queen said. I can't handle all of it. But the part about setting the coronation in motion and helping my people? That I can do. I should have done it right after the first failed attempt on my life, but I was too busy trying to undo the damage Daros did by telling everyone who I am.
After the ball, the people shunned me. They still shun me, in truth. They’re scared of the Shadow Wraith, coming to destroy them now as their queen, instead of an unknown assassin. Despite that, I’ve been trying to meet with them, to ease their fears with kindness. Most still quiver before me.
I hurry through my rooms to where Nash is waiting along with some guards. I want to ask him how long he's been here. How much sleep he's gotten. What he's thinking. But I don't want to be more familiar than I already am. Not when I'm so worried for him. For all of us.
“Your Majesty.” He bows at me, as do the other guards, one at a time so they have someone always watching the hall.
“I would like you to arrange some things for me,” I say. “If you will step in here, we can discuss it.”
“Certainly.” He follows me in.
I take a seat in the corner, where I can watch both the entrance and the window. It's something I'd normally do but now feels even more imperative.
The coronation would take time to put together, but there is something else I could do to make the people happy. To make me happy.
“I have some things I’d like you to help with,” I say.
I should talk to Timit about it first, though I’ve talked to him about it a little in the past. He’s always so hesitant—doesn’t want money going anywhere but to him. I may as well go ahead with it and deal with the consequences later. I should also give a decree, but I’d rather do it myself. I want my people to hear from my own mouth what I’m doing for them so there’s no mistaking it.
“Go ahead.” His words are stiff. Formal.
I don’t like it at all, but I brought it on myself. “I would like to have a meeting with as many citizens as you can get together this afternoon. I need to tell them about a new law.” What I should have told them. I was to lower taxes at the ball, but it never happened. It's far past time to do so.
“I can arrange that. I can’t guarantee many people will be there on such short notice, but I'll do what I can. Where would you like them to gather?”
“The throne room or ballroom. Which do you think is better?”
“If it's official business, the throne room. Otherwise, the ballroom.”
“The throne room, then.”
“It will be done.”
“Good. And for the other business—I would like you to arrange a coronation, since it was canceled at the ball. You can enlist the ladies-in-waiting or anyone else you’d like. The Head of Relations with the Queen can help.”
He nods. “I'll make sure it is. When did you want to hold it?”
“Let's say one week from today. If that’s not a problem.”
“That’s soon, but I'll take care of it.”
“Thank you.” I want to say more—tell him my thoughts, feelings, and fears—but I don't dare. It was hard enough talking to the First Queen about them. I don't want to speak about them anymore.
“Are you all right?” He sounds more like himself than he has the whole time he's been here.
“Fine.” The word cracks, betraying me.
He narrows his eyes. I know he doesn't believe me, but will he ask?
He stands. “If that is all, Your Majesty, I will get it in order.”
I relax back into my chair, uncertain if I'm glad he is ignoring my response. “That is all.”
“I will report when I have news.” He bows.
I watch him walk. I miss his realness. His charm. The kiss we shared and have avoided mentioning since.
It should have never taken place, but I ache for its comforting reassurance. For the warmth that came with it. The nearness. The connection.
Pushing the feelings aside, I walk out into the hall, to find my guards waiting like always. Wilric, Eldim, Stird, and Afet—I'm getting better at keeping track of them. There are still a lot of guards whose names I don't know, though, including a few women who are helping today.
I hurry to the corridor, where I run into Inkga.
“You're ready, my lady,” she says. “Should I have breakfast sent up?”
“Please do. Enough for my ladies-in-waiting. I’ll eat later, so we don’t have to worry about poison meant for me getting mixed into one of their plates.” After Inkga being poisoned when I was supposed to be, I can’t chance it happening again. “Once you have that going, will you please let the ladies know I would like to meet with all of them in my sitting room?”
“Of course. Anything else, Your Highness?”
Egh. They still call me these names much too often. But I don't want them to stop now with Daros on the loose. I don’t want to show familiarity with anyone. All my life, he’s known everything about me, except for when I decided to run. Maybe because that was a spur of the moment decision, he didn’t have time to learn it. The people I care about, though? There’s plenty of time to learn about them. What would I do if he took Inkga away from me? She's much too sweet to have to deal with his form of punishment.
“No, that will be all,” I say.
I slip back in my room and settle in my chair to wait. It takes much too long. I tap my foot on the ground, wanting to pace, but not wanting to show nerves, even if my room is empty of people.
Something flashes out of the corner of my eye. I whip to the side, daggers drawn.
No one is there.
I swallow and try to quiet my pounding heart. Daros isn't here. None of his men are here. I'm safe. My people are safe.
For now.
Who knows how long it'll last?
A knock sounds.
“Enter,” I say, not caring that I have no one here to answer it for me.
The ladies-in-waiting pile in the room—all twelve of them. The thirteenth one, Faya—the grandmotherly lady I trusted—is now in the dungeons. I still can't believe she was behind the plot with Ranen and Borkus to take my life.
They curtsy, and I tell them to be seated. Jem sits farthest from me, though I can see her dainty mole above her lip and to the right. Having her back to the window is a bad choice, but that's her decision. The rest settle around in various chairs. It's then I realize I don't know most of their names. I've been remiss.
Time to fix that.
“Before we start, I would like each of you to say your first name. No Your Highness, Your Majesty, or my lady. Just your first name.” And I'll try to remember them.
They look at me with rounded eyes. Why, I'm not sure, so I choose to ignore it. I nod for the first one—a girl several years older than me, with the typical brown hair, grey eyes, and a tight smile—to go ahead.
“I'm Suyla of Trentin,” she says.
“Thank you, Suyla. No need to say where you are from, though.”
She nods, and the next woman speaks.
“Lipla.” She looks to be in her thirties and has golden skin, which reminds me that I know her from before.
“Freza.” She’s in her late twenties and has a light dusting of freckles across her fair skin.
“Pina.” Her voice is dainty, though she's the biggest of the group. She looks younger than me, but not by much.
The next girl, I remember, with her golden hair and eyes, and her loyalty to Jem. “I'm Inyi,” she says.
“Jem.” There's a snide quality to Jem’s voice, but I ignore it; it's always been there. Besides, it’s not as bad as it used to be.
They continue around the room, but I have a hard time concentrating. I'll ask their names again if I need them. When I need them. I'm determined to utilize them more than I have previously.
When the last one finishes, I say, “Thank you. In case you don't know why we're meeting, I've asked my Head Advisor to arrange my coronation for one week from today. You are to be included in the preparations.”
They beam, except for Jem, who stays expressionless.
“How may we help, Your Majesty?” Inyi asks.
It was nice, losing the title. For a moment, anyway. “In any way my Head Advisor asks you to. I'm sure he'll hand over most details to you. It should take place in the throne room and have a mixture of classes there. I don't want to cater to just the upper class.”
“We can do that, Your Highness,” Pina says, joy folding through her words.
“Excellent. Do you have any other questions?” I ask.
They stay silent. I suppose they trained for this. I would have nothing but questions, but since I put them in charge, I'll leave them to it.
“Good. One more thing. I am making an announcement this afternoon. Afterward, and for the next couple of days, I want you to go out among the people of Poruah, Medi, and Kurah class and figure out how they feel about it. You ladies are to be my eyes and ears.”
I have to trust them with this; there's no one else to do it. The guards I can count on are taking turns protecting me and sleeping. Normally, I wouldn’t think I needed protection, but with Daros on the loose, anything can happen. Messengers or servants would work, but I’m not putting Inkga in harm’s way, and she’s the only one I know. I can read people I know better than those I don’t, and I know my ladies-in-waiting a little. I should, after all the time I’ve spent listening to them prattle.
“Forgive me, my queen,” Freza says. “We aren't accustomed to such tasks.”
“It's time to become accustomed to them. This won't be your last.”
She raises her eyebrows, but she says nothing further.
“Anyone else?” I scan the room, taking in their reactions. Most are like Freza, but Jem is straight-faced, appearing indifferent. “I expect a report from each of you in a couple days. You are dismissed.”
They stand and curtsy. A few give backward glances, but most shuffle away. Once they are all gone, I give a sigh of relief. Handling others is stressful. I don't know what to do with them. How to act.
There is one good thing, though—for a moment there, I forgot about Daros. Maybe this is the key. Serve my people; let my worries slide away.
If only it was enough.