I hurry along to the council room while Jem and my escorts walk around me. Jem's reading the note while I slip Nash's ring on my thumb. I will keep it safe. I'll keep him safe. And then, when he returns, I'll give it back to him.
I just don't know how much else it'll take to heal him.
I haven't healed yet myself from my years with Daros.
“You can't follow through with this,” Jem says as we rush through the hallways.
I glare at her. “What do you mean, I can't?”
“If you give into their demands, everyone will know you can be persuaded by outside influences and how to manipulate you.”
“But if I don't do this, Nash will die.”
She hesitates. “They could be bluffing.”
“Daros isn’t the type to bluff.”
“I don't mean to be insensitive, and I know it's hard, but a queen cannot give in to blackmail.”
She’s right; I can’t allow this to affect me. I’m not sure how to do that, though. “Will you have a servant fetch Nash’s family?”
“Right away.”
It takes some time for them to come, and I think of what to tell them. Of what I should do. When they come in, they have red-rimmed, puffy eyes. I avert my gaze. “Please, be seated.”
They pick seats nearby. His mother, Slipa, is the first to speak. “Is there news of him? Is he coming back?”
I have to shatter the hope in her eyes. I wish I didn’t. “If I don’t lower taxes for the Kurah and up them for the Poruah and Medi in the next half hour or so, the person that holds Nash is going to hurt him.”
Lanay’s mouth forms an O. She says, “You’re going to do what they say, yes?”
“Lanay, the queen will do what’s best. We aren’t to question her.”
Slipa looks at me unwaveringly.
I can’t hold her gaze. “I can’t give into them.” But oh, how I want to.
Belta surprises me by getting down on her knees. “Please, Your Majesty. Please. I’ll do anything if you give in to their demands. We can’t go on without my brother. We can’t lose him like we lost our father.” She clasps her hands together, eyes filled to the brim with tears.
How can I deny her what my heart wants? At the same time, how can I say yes? I can fix the taxes back after Nash returns, right? So what’s stopping me from doing everything I can to get him back and maybe find Daros in the process? He’ll let his guard down if he thinks I’m complying, and I’ll get both him and Nash—Daros to go to the chopping block and Nash back on my side.
Daros has to know I’ll consider this, though. Why would he ask me to change something I can just change back later? I don’t have an answer to that, but I know what I’m going to do. “I’ll take care of your brother.”
Belta collapses backward, only to be picked up by Lanay, who says, “Thank you, Your Majesty. Thank you. Thank you. You don’t know how much this means to us.”
Because of my feelings for Nash, I may have an inkling.
“You will get him back, won’t you?” Slipa looks so weak, like she’s lost ten pounds since I last saw her. Like she’s losing her strength to fight with her son in an evil man’s hands.
“I will.” I put all the conviction I can in those words, even if I don’t entirely believe them.
I stand, and they jump to their feet. I see them out and head to the council room to make the change before I decide this isn’t a good idea.
“See that Nash’s family gets home safely,” I say to the closest guard.
“Yes, Your Highness.”
“Your Majesty.” Jem appears from behind one of the guards waiting outside my rooms. “Where are you going?”
“To change the taxes.”
“You can’t do that.”
I stop and turn toward her so fast one of my guards almost runs into me. “I will do this. Nothing you say will stop me.”
I stride on. She doesn't follow for a moment but eventually catches up to me. Only this time, she stays silent.
The council room is only half-full of people left from the last meeting. Those here bow or curtsy. I tell them to rise as I take a seat. I don't care for social norms usually—less so today. “I want the rest of the council here in five minutes, or we're starting without them.”
Servants at the edges of the room scramble out, no doubt to tell those not here what kind of mood I'm in. Fine by me. The sooner we get this taken care of, the sooner Nash will be safe.
If I’m going to do this, I want to make certain it works.
Time ticks by, like a dagger repeatedly thrown in the wrong spot. It does no good to watch the clock or listen to those murmuring around me. I want this done and over with. People are trickling in, but not fast enough.
As I wait, I survey each person in the room. Who here is a traitor? Which of them are going to report to Daros what I say here today? It could be any of them. All of them.
No. I'm getting carried away. If it was all of them, Daros would have an easy enough time killing me and putting someone pliable on the throne. I glace at Jem out of the corner of my eye. Is she still pliable, or would she stick up for herself now? She certainly isn't afraid to tell me what she thinks.
Four minutes. Close enough to five, though we're still missing a few people.
Without preamble, I say, “I am reverting the taxes. Not just that, but I'm lowering them further for the Kurah.”
Timit gives a smug smile. “This will make our economy grow. You are wiser than your years, my lady.”
I ignore his flattery. He might as well be the one working with Daros, as far as I'm concerned. And he never reported back to me on the finances and whether my plan would sustain the country. Do leaders of other countries have this many problems?
“But, Your Highness,” Yuka says, “the people are so excited about the changes you made. I ask that you please reconsider.”
“Not everyone is excited,” Kada says.
“It's true. I think many will be much happier after this change.” Timit's sausage lips turn upward.
“It doesn't matter what the people think,” I say, wishing it were true. “This law is changing.”
Several council members talk over one another. I silence them all. “We're done arguing about this. It's happening. Timit, I want the word spread within half an hour in Indell and as soon as horses can be sent to the rest of the country.”
“But, Your Majesty, these things take time.”
I bang my fist on the table. “Get it done.”
“Yes, Your Highness. If you will excuse me, I have people I need to speak with.”
I never thought I'd see him run, but after a quick bow, that’s exactly what he does.
“Any questions?” My voice is rough. Jaded. “Good,” I say when nobody speaks.
“My lady,” Mina's voice is fain.
“What is it?”
“I'm afraid we can't continue to have the army and guards out looking for Nash Zorris. I know he was your Head Advisor, and we all respect that, but it's putting too great of a strain on the country to have so many of our people out looking for him.”
There are murmurs of agreement.
We need to save him, but how do I make them to understand it? “I get that it's a strain, but what would you want me to do if you were the one kidnapped?” I look each of them in the eyes, ignoring the guilt that has me wondering if I would do the same for them. “Would you want me to leave you there, because it's inconvenient?”
They look away but don't say anything.
“That settles it. I'm not going to let the kidnappers get away with this. We will find Nash, and we will bring those who took him to justice.” If only my words were true. It's hard to believe them.
As I head back toward my rooms, I can't help but think maybe they’re right. I am putting Nash before my country. Before everything.
But I don't know what else to do.