Inkga pulls the blankets over me, and Puneah jumps up beside me and curls into a ball, except for her head, which she rests on my chest. Despite the weight, which is less than I expect, it's a comforting feeling.
Inkga shakes her head. “Never thought I’d see an animal so taken with someone. Let alone a fila.”
I let a small smile slip out. “Neither did I. I’m not entirely sure about her, but she seems to be good with me. It’s nice to have her company. Just not as nice as yours is. Thank you for staying with me and taking care of me.”
She tucks a lose strand of hair behind her ear. “It’s nothing.”
“No. It’s something. Nash told me you wouldn’t accept a raise.”
“Don’t be silly. There’s no reason for one.”
“There are plenty of reasons, the biggest being that you do a lot more work now that I’m…”
She waves me off. “It’s nothing I wouldn’t do for any of my friends. Not everyone can claim friendship with the queen.”
“Then you will accept the raise.”
She chuckles. “That’s not how friendship works.”
I sigh. She has to make this hard. She’s done literally everything for me. No one deserves earning more as much as she does. “I didn’t want to go here, but you leave me no choice. As your queen, I order you to take the raise.”
Her eyes widen. After a moment, she curtsies. “Yes, Your Majesty.”
“None of that, now. We’re still friends.” I hope I haven’t scared her away.
“You can’t have it both ways, Ryn. Either you order me about, or we’re friends.”
“I can too have it both ways. It’s how it’s been almost since the beginning.”
“But you’ve never ordered me to do something before. Not really.”
She’s right, and it feels rather odd. “Let me get away with it this one time.”
She sits in a chair next to my bed and looks me straight in the eye. “I promise it’s not a burden. I know you worry about that, but you needn’t. I’m happy helping you.”
I blink away the sudden stinging in my eyes. “I appreciate that more than words can express, but it doesn’t change the fact you’re getting a raise.”
With a laugh, she sits back. “You are so stubborn.”
I smirk. “You have no idea.”
“Fine, then. I’ll take it, but if I choose to use it to help others, there’s nothing you can do about it.”
I should have known. I yawn. “Fine. But make sure you’re saving for the future, too. I won’t always be around.”
“Don’t talk like that.”
“But it’s true.” I want to tell her about the First Queen. To warn her away, for when Androlla takes over, but there will be time enough for that later. Now I want to be with my friend.
“I refuse to discuss it further,” she says. “Would you like me to stay with you?”
“Yes, please.”
She puts her elbow on the arm of the chair and props her head on her fist. “Then rest now. Just rest.”
But I don’t want to.
Despite my resistance, heavy eyelids limit my vision. I’m extra tired because a healer came in and worked each of my limbs before I settled in to bed. Besides, ever since Daros poisoned me, I have needed more sleep than I ever remember getting before.
Except I fear sleep.
No matter that the First Queen has left me alone since I discovered her true nature, I dread the moment I dream of her again. I have the uncanny feeling she’s ready to spring on me tonight.
Puneah gives a rumbling purr, vibrating my chest. She seems content. Comfortable. Yet I know she’s ready to pounce the moment someone tries to hurt me. If only she could protect me the same way in my dreams.
If only.
The night wears on as I fight sleep. My eyelids become heavier and heavier, yet I resist. Inkga begins a song, soft and low. It’s one I’ve never heard before, about the stars and moons, and how they look down on us as we sleep.
Despite my fighting it, my eyelids close and don’t open again.
“Took you long enough to fall asleep.” The First Queen’s words echo through the air.
I ignore her, in favor of marveling over my body. It’s free of weakness. I give a little jump, pumping my fists into the air. The movements are quick and precise, like they used to be before I was poisoned.
I break into a run, going as fast and far from Androlla as I can. Ignoring that she’s the reason I’m here, I run until I’m gasping for breath. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say I have my old body back.
It’s perfect.
Once I catch my breath, I break into a run again, adding spins, jumps, twirls, and flips as I go. Stretching my body is so natural. So right. I wish there were walls to bounce off. Then again, if I can make up a chair in this place, why not a wall?
I picture two walls framing me, far apart enough to give me running room. I get a running start before jumping onto the first wall, hurrying across the path, popping up onto the second wall, and doing a flip off it.
It worked. Blessed daggers, it worked. I continue my jagged path, only slowing down when my muscles burn and my lungs heave. Despite being just a dream, I'm feeling the strain. It must be a mental thing.
I slow to a stroll before I stop all together, bend at the waist with my hands on my sides, and take deep breaths.
“Are you quite finished?” The First Queen asks.
I don’t reply. She’s not worth it.
A tinkling laugh flows through the air. “We both know the only one here not worth anything is you. Why else would you be in this position? Had you behaved in a manner that said you cared about your life, you never would have crossed paths with me.”
Something in me snaps. I glare. Although I understand she is trying to take away my free will, she doesn’t look any different. Doesn’t look as evil as her actions would suggest. “I’m worth a hundred times what you are, you lying, despicable scumbag.” Not that I haven’t had doubts, but I have learned better now.
“Pretty words from one whose own parents didn’t want her. Who tried to kill her.”
The reference to my parents makes me cringe on the inside. I don’t want to go there. My father's latest betrayal is still too raw. I decided I was worth something previously. I won’t let a few harsh words make me forget that.
“So you think. We’ll see how long your confidence lasts as I take over your body. Then again, you’re of little use to me, now that you’re broken.”
I clench my teeth. “There’s nothing you can say that will hurt me.”
Androlla glides to me. Instinct says to flinch away, but I’ve dealt with much worse taunting from Daros. This is nothing.
“Ah, right,” she says. “Daros. Claims he knows how to defeat me, when all he knows is that I exist. Seems to me he’s getting the better end of the deal.”
There's that niggling doubt inside me, which she’s tugging on. I shut off my thoughts. I can’t deal with her reading them.
She gives a low, throaty laugh. “That’s right. I’m in your mind. You can’t get rid of me or your thoughts. Then again, which thoughts are yours and which are mine?”
Through gritted teeth, I say, “You are not allowed here.”
She turns her back to me, like she hasn’t a care in the world. “I can go wherever I want in your mind. It might as well be mine.”
“It will never be yours.” I let venom ooze through my words.
She laughs again. “If you weren’t so annoying, I’d think you were cute. What you don’t understand is that I’m already a part of you. There’s nothing you can do about it.”
There has to be something.
She sits on air, crossing her ankles. “Not one thing. You’re slowly going to lose yourself to me. And since you now have friends, I’ll enjoy getting rid of them.”
“Don’t talk about my friends. You have no right.”
Her pearly white teeth shine as she speaks. “I have every right. They are but a nuisance. You’ve changed more laws than I hoped you would, but it’ll get right with time. I’ll pick out my next victim to become the queen before having you killed off. Pity you didn’t work out. With your skills, we could have lived a long time.”
There’s a knot in my stomach that keeps getting bigger. I don’t know what to do with it. I want it gone. I want out of here. And yet, I don’t. This is the first time I’ve been able to move in around a week. Really move. I don’t want to give that away.
“I suppose there’s a chance you’ll heal, but it’s so small, it’s not worth considering.” She looks at her nails.
I should kill her here and now. I can move fast, so she won’t have time to counter. I grab a dagger from my belt and slash it at her. She casually raises an arm to block me, and a thin red line appears where the metal hits. She smiles.
Pain screams through my arm.
I wake up groaning in pain. My left arm is dripping blood on the bed and some on Puneah. My hurting Androlla in my dream injured me. But did it hurt her?
Her presence becomes known in a strong, hard laugh.
Apparently, the only one hurt is me.