TOBY
Cara hesitates before she replies. “I want you to find happiness, too.”
I already have. I don’t know why I said that shit about family and furniture. It’s true, but it’s not what I need to be filling her head with right now.
One thing at a time.
She lets out a little yawn. “I should get to sleep. I’m getting married tomorrow, after all.”
“Not for real.”
“No, but it still feels…”
Wrong. Hasty. Misguided. I want to finish that sentence for her in a dozen discouraging ways, but that’s not what she needs. “How does it feel?”
“Disquieting.”
That’s a better word than I could have come up with, anyway. “Ah, my troublemaker.”
“What’s the weather like there?” she asks abruptly.
I check the app on my home screen. “Low seventies. Nice.”
“It just started raining here. Storm is coming in.”
I stop unpacking my suitcase and listen carefully. I’m grateful for having a suite big enough that I’m not anywhere near a window, so she can’t hear that it’s on my end, too. “Do you like the rain?”
“Love it. I’ve got my windows open.”
“Then you should go to sleep, listening to the rain.”
“I will.” She doesn’t hang up, though. “Can I tell you a secret?”
“Of course.”
“Promise not to read too much into it?”
“I promise.”
“I can’t stop thinking about our kiss,” she whispers. “How if things were different, it might have been the start of something.”
I fold myself into the armchair in the corner and lean back, closing my eyes as she talks. I picture the words sliding over her lips.
Don’t think about her mouth.
Too late.
“Why did even we stop kissing? That was a mistake. You could have taken me back to your hotel that night, you know. We could have done so much more…”
I swallow hard. If I say something, if I push the conversation where I want it to go, she might stop me. If I say something, I might stop me. The spell might snap and I’d realize how stupid an idea this is.
You know how stupid—
I turn off my brain because thinking is definitely going to ruin this moment. “That’s exactly what would have happened, too. I’d have done everything to you that night. Kissed every last inch of your body and made you scream my name.”
If I thought that would shock her, I underestimated her. She makes a soft, sweet sound of acquiescence instead. “Yes…”
One word. All I needed to hear, and my blood is pounding. This isn’t how I was going to do this. Tomorrow, I’m going to show her everything in my heart that I’ve foolishly held back.
Tonight, though, I can share other secrets I’ve kept from her. Every dirty desire she’s enflamed, every secret fantasy I hope to play out together.
“You’ll let me do that, won’t you? Sometime soon?” I work at my buttons, opening my shirt. I’ll get to my dress pants in a minute. They’re fucking tight already, but I can’t take myself in hand until I know she’s there with me. If we’re doing this, we’re doing it together. “We’ll steal away somewhere. An anonymous hotel suite with a king-sized bed for me to lay you out on.”
“Anywhere.”
“Australia.”
She laughs gently. “Maybe we can hook up somewhere closer than that. At first.”
My heart leaps, and my dick throbs. Sex more than once. It’s as romantic as we get maybe, but I’ll take it. “Work our way through the continents. It’s going to take me some time to learn all the things you like.”
“I’ll like everything with you.” Her voice catches, and I push myself out of the chair.
So damn close to telling her I’m down the road. To inviting myself over and blowing the entire thing.
I don’t want her to be lonely, or sad, or have any doubt. Whatever caused that hitch in her voice, I want it gone.
I want to shield her from everything in the world, and I know that’s not possible.
No, tonight I have one task. Distract her from tomorrow. I prowl toward the bedroom and fling my tie against the white bedding. “I’ll want a chance to unzip you out of a dress.”
“Can I undress you, too?”
“I’ve already started.”
“Slow down…” She drags in a breath. “Let me help you with your shirt. Are you wearing a suit?”
“I am. Tie’s off.”
“I’ve thought about your chest and back so many times, it’s embarrassing.”
“Never. Tell me more.”
“When I woke you up in Tokyo. I wondered what you were wearing.”
“Boxer briefs.” Her happy sigh makes me groan. “What are you wearing now?”
“A t-shirt and…”
“And?”
“Panties.” She whispers the word, which makes it that much dirtier.
I swallow hard. “Take those off.”
“But you’re still dressed.”
I shrug out of my shirt. It flutters to the floor. “I’m getting there. You just pushed my shirt to the ground.”
“And you just peeled my underwear down my legs.” Her words rush out on a single breath.
I groan. “I have a lot of fantasies about your legs, you know that?”
“No. Really?”
“Fuck. Cara, I want your legs wrapped around my head. I want to press them wide open as I push into you, and feel them tight around my hips as I make you mine.”
She whispers my name, and it’s all the encouragement I need.
“Touch yourself. I want you to fall asleep with my name on your lips, after I’ve worked you up and wrung you out. I want you on your knees, in my arms, under my tongue. I want to taste every last inch of you. Feel every last inch of you.”
I stretch out on the bed and unzip my pants.
“You with me?”
“Yes.”
“I’m stroking myself. I’m so hard for you.”
“Seriously?”
I laugh, even though it’s strained. “Serious as a heart attack.”
“Toby is this…okay?”
Fuck. “So okay, gorgeous. Really. If you want to…”
“I want to. I need this tonight.”
That’s a stab in the heart. If she doesn’t need this tomorrow, too, I’ll have ruined everything. The only thing I can do is show her that I’m right there with her. “Me, too. I’ve wanted you for weeks.”
“I don’t have a lot of experience.”
I tip my head back. “We’ll figure out what we like together.”
“Tell me again that you’re hard.”
“Like a rock. It hurts so good when I stroke myself.”
“I want to do that. Touch you.”
“Yes. Your fingers. Fuck.” I squeeze my cock at the base and imagine her exploring me. Tentative, then more sure. “You can touch me anywhere you want.”
“If I’m stroking you, what are you doing?”
“Squeezing you close. I want to get my hands on your hips, your ass. My mouth on your lips, your neck, your breasts. I want to make you squirm, then stroke between your legs and make sure you’re wet for me.”
“I am…”
“I need to taste you there, too.”
“Oh. Please. Yes.” Her sighs are coming faster now, shakier. Good. I’m going to make her come like this, with the ghost of a fantasy about me going down on her.
I’ll save being inside her for the real deal.
“Tell me how you’re touching yourself, Cara. Do you rub your clit or dip your pretty fingers inside?”
“I rub.” Her words catch, and that little break makes my balls draw tight.
“Your fingers are mine. Circling, faster and faster. Your clit’s getting hard, isn’t it? Hard and needy. I want that on my tongue. I want to feel you throb for me.”
“It is. Oh, I’m…” She gasps, a sexy little sound that goes on and on. I roll my thumb over my crown, wet with pre-come, and listen to the glorious noises she makes as she shatters, then slowly comes back to me. Each utterance jacks up my need to join her.
“Oh, Toby,” she breathes, and I come undone. With a strangled shout, I jerk my cock, pointing it toward my belly as my come spurts hot against my skin.
Well, hell.
I bite my lip to keep from saying the uncensored emotions barreling through me.
“That was…” She giggles. “Hot. Right?”
“Crazy hot.” I swallow all the other words. “Now go to sleep.”
“I’m going,” she says drowsily.
“Sweet dreams, troublemaker.”
But that title really belongs to me now. And she has no idea.