Scripture to Memorize
She makes coverings for her bed;
she is clothed in fine linen and purple.
Her husband is respected at the city gate,
where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.
Proverbs 31:22–23
Passage to Read
I urge, then, first of all, that requests, prayers, intercession and thanksgiving be made for everyone—for kings and all those in authority, that we may live peaceful and quiet lives in all godliness and holiness. This is good, and pleases God our Savior, who wants all men to be saved and to come to a knowledge of the truth. . . .
I also want women to dress modestly, with decency and propriety, not with braided hair or gold or pearls or expensive clothes, but with good deeds, appropriate for women who profess to worship God.
1 Timothy 2:1–4, 9–10
Guided Prayer
Dear heavenly Father, today I pray for my country. I thank you for our leaders and ask you to give them great wisdom as they lead. I pray that our laws would be righteous in your sight. Lord, I desire to live a peaceful, quiet life in all godliness and holiness. I know you want all people to be saved and to come to a knowledge of the truth. Help me to gain a greater understanding of my role in bringing the gospel to my culture. I want to play a vital part in your kingdom work right here where I live.
Holy Spirit, help me to discern when it’s best to conform to the culture for the sake of the gospel and when it’s necessary to go against the culture. I know for sure that I cannot conform to the world when it comes to standards of modesty. Prepare my heart as I reevaluate my wardrobe to see if there is anything offensive or anything that might be a stumbling block to the men around me. I want to dress in fine linen and purple but, more important, I want to be clothed with strength and dignity. Give me spiritual eyes to see anything in my closet that makes me appear morally weak or undignified. Then give me the courage to refashion my wardrobe in a way that honors you, no matter what it takes. Amen.
Personal
Both the Proverbs 31 woman and her husband were acknowledged at the city gates, which represented the seat of political, economic, and social leadership in their culture. It was a combination of Congress, Wall Street, and the society page all rolled into one. The Bible tells us, “Her husband is respected at the city gate” and then adds, “Let her works bring her praise at the city gate” (vv. 23, 31). So there is nothing wrong with a Christian achieving fame, acclaim, or influence in politics, business, or society.
Today’s passage urges us to pray for those in authority and do everything we can to live peacefully within the context of our culture with a view toward bringing salvation to our countrymen. However, the Bible does not teach total cultural conformity. We should go along to get along, but only to a point. The line Paul draws in the sand is modesty. Today’s passage was written to Timothy, who was pastoring a church in Ephesus, a sexually decadent city where hundreds, perhaps even thousands, of women worked as prostitutes at the massive Temple of Artemis, the multibreasted goddess of fertility. It’s hard for us to imagine now, but attending “worship service” meant having sex with strangers and even participating in massive sexual festivals. These temple prostitutes were wealthy and well dressed, much like our Hollywood and music stars today, who earn millions for dressing and behaving seductively.
To show the relevance of Paul’s message for us today, here’s what I believe he is saying: women in the church should not look like the women on the cover of Cosmopolitan, Maxim, or almost any other magazine for that matter. That may be how women in the culture dress, but it’s not appropriate for God’s woman. My comments today may offend some readers, but I feel strongly that while God’s women should be dressed in fine linen and purple, they should wear enough of that fine linen and purple to cover key body parts.
I am absolutely shocked by the way some Christian women dress, even at church. Not long ago I attended a Christian event where one of the female speakers arrived dressed in a low-cut skin-tight blouse which showcased her obvious breast implants. Midway through the worship service, she took off her jacket to jump up and down in front of the mixed male-and-female audience. When I turned to the man standing next to me, I realized he was staring directly at her breasts. Sisters, this is not right! For the record, I didn’t blame him for looking; I blamed her for flaunting.
Throughout these pages, I have talked about how less is more. That’s almost always true, but there is an important exception: fabric. When it comes to fabric, more is more. Especially if you are a woman over forty, you need to wear more fabric—more fabric to cover your upper arms, more fabric to cover your knees, and—please, ladies, please—more fabric to cover your cleavage. It’s offensive enough to see young Christian women baring cleavage, but to see a mature Christian woman revealing wrinkled, brown-spotted cleavage? Lord, have mercy on us all.
Remember, ladies, for the kingdom’s sake, for modesty’s sake, and, well, for mercy’s sake: more fabric! And you may even have to spend more on fabric because expensive, higher-quality fabric is flattering on almost all women, while cheap, flimsy fabric can look great only when worn by skinny young women. I suspect the Proverbs 31 woman was over forty, which explains why she wore only expensive clothing.
One last thing in the more-is-more department: more coverage on the bottom, too. Unless you are in stellar physical condition, you will probably look better in a skirt than in pants. Other than those rare moments in history when I’m at my fantasy weight and wearing a size 6, I almost never wear pants, because I am a forty-something pear-shaped woman, and very few women over forty look their very best in pants. Conversely, almost all women look attractive in a well-made, properly fitting skirt that hits below the knee.
If you are still determined to wear pants, make sure they are well made in a firm fabric and that they fit your body type. The worst fashion invention since leggings is clothing made from stretch fabric (sometimes marketed as “travel clothing”). These may feel comfortable, but they reveal every lump and bump on your body.
Some apple-shaped women do look better in pants provided they wear long tunic-style tops. If you are a woman who carries every drop of excess weight above the waist (I’m insanely jealous, by the way), you can wear pants to your heart’s content. But only on one condition: cover the cleavage. Chances are you have plenty of it. Good for you and good for your husband, but the rest of us don’t need to see it. I may be old-fashioned, but I cannot think of one good reason a godly woman would have low-cut blouses or short skirts in her closet.
Certainly, a woman over forty should never wear a skirt above the knee. If you are trying to entice your own husband, wear a negligee. If you are trying to entice other men, get down on your knees and repent. If it still hasn’t occurred to you that men are aroused by low-cut blouses and short skirts, you are living in la-la land.
Of course, my fashion observations are written with an American woman in mind. Having traveled around the world, I do know there are cultural differences when it comes to modesty. What is considered seductive dress in Turkey or Egypt is very different from what is considered seductive in the Hawaiian Islands or a remote village in Papua New Guinea. I’ve been to all of those places so I “get it.” My point is: women know what is considered seductive in their culture and many of them deliberately dress to entice. As Christian women, we need to be aware of what is considered seductive in our culture so we can avoid dressing enticingly.
Here’s something to think about: Jesus said when a man lusts after a woman in his heart, he has already committed adultery with her. How many people does it take to commit adultery? The last time I counted, it took two. I sincerely believe that a woman who dresses seductively is every bit as guilty of mental adultery as the men she causes to lust after her. No, you can’t be responsible for the thoughts of every man around you but you can be responsible to dress modestly.
The Proverbs 31 woman is clothed with dignity. Sisters, it’s past time for the women of God to dress with dignity, setting the example for our depraved culture. So take one more look at your wardrobe: is there anything seductive remaining? If so, get rid of it or wear it only in your bedroom.
Once again, my purpose here is to jumpstart your wardrobe. If you want to go further, visit your bookstore or library and peruse the indispensable book What Not to Wear by Trinny Woodall and Susannah Constantine.2 I found some commentary on their website offensive and disagree with their standards of modesty, but there is plenty of good information in there. It’s especially helpful in understanding whether you have a pear or apple shape, and what the fashion implications of each shape are.
Now that you’ve off-loaded all the wrong colors and styles (and previously you removed everything that doesn’t fit or that you rarely wear), you can stow away your off-season clothing. Be sure to note the bin number on your BIN list. You can have as many off-season bins as you like, as long as you fill them with fashionable yet modest correct-color clothing that actually fits and flatters you.
By now, your closet should be a lean, mean fashion machine. Enjoy the peace and confidence it brings! You are clothed in fine linen and purple!
Affirmation: I am clothed in fine linen and purple!
Practical
Rethink clothing items that may not be flattering or appropriate.