Scripture to Memorize
Her children arise and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:
“Many women do noble things,
but you surpass them all.”
Proverbs 31:28–29
Passage to Read
Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord.
Romans 12:17–19
Guided Prayer
Dear Lord, just reading this passage brings me to my knees before you. Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. I have repaid evil for evil. I have failed to do what’s right in the eyes of everybody. I have lived in strife, not peace. I have sought revenge. I have lashed out with my tongue when I was offended. I have sought justice when I was wronged. Forgive me.
Prince of Peace, I need you to be the center of my life and my relationships. I need the power of the Holy Spirit and the peaceable fruit of righteousness he brings. Strengthen me in my inner being, enabling me to stand firm under life’s hurts and injustices. It is my earnest desire to resist the ever-present temptation to return evil for evil. I want to do what is right in the eyes of everyone and to live at peace, but I need your grace to live out this commitment. Teach me, dear Lord, to trust you as the righteous Judge. Let me learn to do what Jesus did: entrust myself to the one who judges justly. Right now, by faith, I release every person from whom I feel entitled to demand justice. I release: ____________.
I give all of these people over to you. I lay them down at the foot of the cross. Even if your verdict is that they should receive the same mercy I have received, I will be content, knowing your judgments are always right. I trust you to be just. I trust you with my life. Amen.
Personal
We interrupt this wonderful week on family togetherness, traditions, and spiritual inheritances to face a hard reality. Many of our families have been profoundly affected by divorce. No matter how hard we work to create our ideal family life, we find that less-than-ideal circumstances intrude. As a result, many of us fear our children will arise and call us just about everything in the book other than blessed. But you do not have to live in fear and defeat. Your family can be blessed, even if you’ve suffered the pain of a broken family.
First, the obvious. You can’t change your ex-husband. If you had the power to change that man, you’d still be married to him. You certainly can’t change your husband’s ex-wife. He couldn’t change her, and the two of them were probably madly in love at one point in time. What do you think your chances are? Exactly nonexistent.
What you can do is make the best of a bad situation. The Bible tells us how: if possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. No matter what awful, terrible things someone’s “ex” might do, don’t repay evil for evil. Even if someone is “talking trash” about you, don’t fight back by “talking trash” about him or her. It is not appropriate for you to criticize or demean any adult authority figure in your children’s life. If the person is doing something illegal, that’s a matter for the courts. But even in that case, you are not the judge and jury. The judge and jury will be provided by the state.
You may think that your ex or your spouse’s ex is the most horrible person on the planet. If you can’t find something nice to say about him or her, don’t say anything at all. Eventually, your children will figure it out for themselves. You don’t need to give them an earful about how you are right and wonderful, while the other parent is wrong and awful. Remember, that parent is part of your child. When you tear that parent down, you tear down part of your child, as well. You may not realize that every time you put the other person down, you also put yourself down. You stoop down to his or her level. Don’t do it.
I know how tempting it is to lash out, but the Bible says no temptation has seized you except what is common to man and to ex-wives. Fortunately, the Bible has also provided a way of escape for you:
The same five peacekeeping steps apply to your in-laws, your ex–in-laws, your next-door neighbor, and your co-workers. Set a godly example for your children by endeavoring to live at peace with everyone, if possible.
Notice that it says “if possible.” Even the God of the impossible knows it’s not possible to get along with some people. Do the best you can and leave the rest to God. Don’t let the pain of divorce rob your children of a blessing and, in the future, they will bless you for it.
Affirmation: As far as it depends on me, I live at peace with everyone.
Practical
Make and keep peace with everyone, especially your relatives.
Take time to truly release every person concerning whom you feel entitled to demand justice. You cannot pursue justice for others and receive mercy for yourself.