19 
Brisk air filled her lungs in a welcome sensation, the sun not yet up but its luminous pink promise rising on Prairie Avenue. With the staff breakfast well in hand, Charlotte stole a few minutes to slip outside to the courtyard and wait for the day to overwhelm the shadows. She had perhaps an hour before Henry would awake and clamor for his oatmeal.
The excursion of the day before had left her sleepless and rattled. She passed much of the night sitting on the floor of the little room where her son slept, watching his chest move up and down. In the somber darkness, in the deepest watch of the night, she made up her mind. Now she had to make peace with her decision, and for that she had come outside, wrapping around her shoulders a cloak Lucy Banning Edwards had given her as a brace against the cold bite of predawn October air. She sat on a ledge—the one Henry had fallen from—and closed her eyes, whether in fear or prayer she was not sure.
Warmth beside her made her open her eyes. “Archie, what are you doing out here this early?”
“I might ask you the same thing.” He settled in beside her.
“I just wanted some air,” she said softly, “before the day gets underway.”
He leaned against her and nudged her shoulder in his familiar gesture. “I don’t believe you.”
She looked at him squarely. “I don’t care.”
He hoisted himself off the ledge to stand in front of her perch. With an arm on either side of her against the brick, he blocked her in. “Charlotte, you’re not telling me something important, and I want to know what it is.”
“You know very little about me that is of any importance,” she said.
“That’s true. But I know you. I’ve been watching you long enough to know that in the last few weeks, something has frightened you. I want you to tell me what it is so I can help you.”
She tried to look past his brown eyes to the view over his shoulder, but he ducked and bobbed his head until she had no choice but to let him look into her eyes.
Archie took her chin in one hand and leaned toward her. “You don’t have to be alone,” he whispered before kissing her.
Her hands moved to his chest to push him away. “Archie, no.”
“No one is around to see,” he assured her. “We can have this moment.” He leaned toward her again.
“No, we can’t.” She pushed against him. “It’s so much more complicated than you imagine.”
He stepped back at last but wrapped his fingers around her hands. “Then explain it to me, Charlotte. Just tell me.”
She shook her head. “I can’t.”
“Yes, you can. It’s ripping you up—whatever it is. I saw how jumpy you were yesterday at the fair. When we were up on the Ferris wheel, I saw you. Sarah and I looked for you to wave. Something frightened you, and you suddenly picked up a sleeping baby who was perfectly happy where he was. Even Sarah made a comment.”
“Archie, please.”
He moved not an inch.
“Trust me,” she mumbled, “it’s better if you don’t know.”
“Trust me,” he replied quickly. “Trust me, Charlotte. Tell me why you cannot return my affection.”
She lost herself in his steadfast eyes searching and pleading. His grasp felt different this time. He was not about to let go of hand nor eyes. At last she found a whisper. “Because I have a husband.”
His eyes clouded. “But—”
“I know,” she said, still whispering. “It’s unthinkable, and Mr. Penard would never have taken me on if he knew the truth.”
He squeezed her hand. “But Miss Lucy knows, doesn’t she? Is that what I see between the two of you?”
Charlotte shook her head and wiped a tear from her eye. “She doesn’t know about my husband. Not exactly.”
“Something else?”
Silence bore down on them.
“I have a baby,” she finally said.
Archie drew a deep breath. “Teddy.”
Charlotte nodded again. “His name is Henry, not Teddy. His birthday is September 20, not October 9.”
“That certainly explains a lot of things,” Archie said. “I knew that child had a hold on you. I just never guessed anything like this.”
“Miss Lucy discovered him when I first got here. He was a newborn then. I was ready to go before there was any fuss, but she said she wanted to help.”
“I remember. You had just gotten here, and all of a sudden she needed a ladies’ maid to sleep in her suite. You had a newborn in the Banning house under Mr. Penard’s nose and he never suspected!”
“Henry was very small and never cried. He was no trouble.”
Archie chuckled softly.
Charlotte straightened her back. She failed to see what was so amusing.
“It seems to me you’ve already lived through the worst,” Archie said. “That was wildly brave, Charlotte.”
“I didn’t have a choice. I had to earn some money before I could put him out to board.”
“And Lucy?”
“She used her connections at the orphanage and helped me find a woman to board him with.”
“When Lucy Banning puts her mind to something, she’s thorough,” Archie said. “Mr. Leo and I looked through all those records ourselves. We found nothing that remotely resembled your son.”
“I never knew what arrangement she made,” Charlotte admitted. “She assured me the expense was taken care of, but whenever I could, I left a little extra for Mrs. Given myself.”
“Mary Given,” Archie muttered, “the woman with the twins.”
Charlotte’s eyes widened. “Yes, she was taking care of twins until they turned two years old a few months ago.”
Archie nodded. “We found that in the record. But there was nothing to trace Teddy—Henry—to Mrs. Given. Miss Lucy must have been taking care of the boarding cost herself.”
“Honestly, I had no idea. I don’t know how I’ll ever repay her.”
“I can’t imagine she would accept repayment. But how did the baby end up here?”
“Mrs. Given had a family emergency and had to go to Omaha. She just showed up with him two days before the family came home from the lake and said she had to catch a train. Right there.” Charlotte pointed to the spot in the courtyard where the sheets had flapped in the wind that day. “Then Sarah found me sitting there with him a minute later. I didn’t know what to do!”
“And everyone jumped to conclusions about the baby left for Lucy.”
Charlotte lifted her shoulders in a slow shrug. “It seemed like I was being given some time to figure out what to do. If I said he was mine—”
“Penard would have put you out immediately.”
She nodded as she squinted into the rising sun. “Even if Miss Lucy were here, I’m not sure she could have influenced him under such extreme circumstances.”
“She might take you on at her own home when she sets up housekeeping.”
“I hope so, but that’s months away. And what am I to do with Henry until then? I can’t bear the thought of putting him in the orphanage. They do wonderful work, but he’s so little, and it’s so big.”
Archie exhaled heavily and leaned back against the wall. “They still want to send him to that cousin in Greenville, you know.”
“No! He’s not going to Greenville.”
“Because it is so far? Or because it holds some danger?”
She nodded. “Too close to home. Henry is going as far away from there as possible.”
“You’re taking him away?” Archie asked. “Where will you go?”
Charlotte shook her head. “I’m not taking him away. I’m sending him away. I made up my mind last night. I’m going to help Miss Emmaline take him to New Hampshire.”
“What!” Archie’s dark eyes flashed. “You can’t give your son away.”
“It’s the best thing for him.”
“You’re his mother. You’re the best thing for him.”
She shook her head again, emphatically. “I can’t keep him safe. Yesterday proved that.”
“You saw something at the fair.”
She nodded. “His father.”
“Your husband.”
Tears began afresh. “He is nothing of what a husband should be.”
“But you are legally bound to him.”
“Not of my own will, but legally, yes.” Charlotte nodded. “It seemed as if every time I turned around, there he was. And I received this a few weeks ago.” She reached into her pocket for the note she always carried for several weeks now and handed it to Archie.
Archie unfolded the paper and held it up in the brightening sky. He read it quickly, then crunched it in his fist.
“He was here, Archie,” Charlotte said, “on Prairie Avenue. He gave that note to Lina and asked after me using my married name. I saw him yesterday, and he saw me.”
“Hundreds of thousands of people were at the fair yesterday,” Archie said calmly. “Maybe it wasn’t him.”
“It was him, Archie. He saw me taking care of a baby, and he knows I’m on this street.”
“Why has he not come looking for you again, then?”
Charlotte shook her head. “Even he wouldn’t just come to the front door and ask for me, and I hardly leave the house.”
“That much is true.”
“He’s a patient man if it means getting what he wants. I can’t take the chance that what he wants is Henry.”
“Have you absolutely nowhere you could take Henry?”
“No. I never thought he would find me here, and he has.”
“It’s a fluke. The fair has brought so many people to Chicago.”
She shook her head. “I will not hand Henry over to him. And I can’t keep Henry safe anymore. Even if I thought he were safe somewhere else, I can’t provide for him on my own. He has to go with Miss Emmaline.”
“Charlotte, no, don’t do this,” Archie pleaded softly. “You’ve told me now. You’re not alone any longer. Let me help.”
“I’m a married woman with another man’s child.” Charlotte whispered words she hated to speak. “Why should you want to help me?”
“Because I care for you, Charlotte Farrow. And this man does not sound like someone I should encourage you to go back to. If he were, you wouldn’t be here.”
“He’s not.” Charlotte blew out breath. “Miss Emmaline thinks it’s divine providence that she came to Chicago and met Henry . . . Teddy.”
“And what do you think?”
“It’s hard to know what’s right.”
Archie shook his head. “You don’t have to believe something just because Miss Emmaline said it.”
Charlotte looked at Archie full on. “Don’t you believe in God?”
“Yes, I believe in God. I just don’t want you to be too quick to believe that he wants you to send your son away. It is possible Emmaline is interpreting difficult circumstances in a way that seems right from her perspective. That doesn’t mean it’s the will of God.”
“But what if it is?” Charlotte choked on a sob.
“What if it’s not?”
“I’ve made up my mind.” Charlotte resisted more tears. “It will break my heart to send him away, but at least I’ll know he’ll have a good life with someone who thinks the sun and moon rise and set on his smile. Even Moses’s mother had to let her son go to a life she could not be part of. That’s in the Bible.”
The kitchen door thumped behind them, and they both startled.
Sarah glanced from Charlotte to Archie. “Shouldn’t you be inside with the baby?” she said to Charlotte.
“I just came out to see the sunrise.” Charlotte slid down from her seat on the ledge and clutched her cloak around her. “I’ll check on the baby now.”
“If old Penard knew you were out here, he would have stern words for you.”
“Sarah!” Archie’s tone held no patience. “Mind your tongue when you don’t know what you’re speaking of.”
Sarah lifted her head. “I know perfectly well what I’m speaking off—a maid and a coachman alone in the courtyard together before the sun is fully risen. I’m sure Mr. Penard would be happy to receive my report.”
Charlotte brushed past Sarah without looking back at Archie and disappeared into the kitchen.
Archie strode over to Sarah and spun her to look at him directly. “If you say one word of this to Mr. Penard, I will personally see that you are put out of the house.”
“On what grounds?” She stared at him, daring. “I rather think I am to be made nanny again if Miss Emmaline has anything to say about it.”
“You were never nanny.”
She clamped her teeth together.
He slammed through the kitchen door. Sarah followed slowly. There was something between those two that ought not to be there. She was sure of it. This was not over.