The porch light was off and the house was dark when Kailey retrieved the spare key from under a flower pot and let herself in. Her jeans and T-shirt were upstairs, along with her makeup bag and curling iron. She’d grab them and head home and to bed. Tomorrow was Sunday, but there were still chores to be done.
She was halfway down the stairs when she heard the front door open.
“Duke? That you?”
Footsteps paused. “Kailey?”
It was Rylan. Damn.
“I just came back to get my stuff. And my truck.” She went the rest of the way down the stairs. She could do this. It didn’t matter that they were alone. It changed nothing.
And then she turned the corner and saw him standing in the kitchen, still in his wedding clothes but with his tie untied and hanging around his neck, the top buttons of his shirt undone.
Trouble. Times ten and then some.
“I just got back. Came in for a beer before heading to bed. You want one?”
“I’ve got to drive home.”
He didn’t argue with her or make a smart comment like “you don’t have to.” She appreciated that. It was the sort of thing he might have said a few months ago. In fact, she was pretty sure it was close to verbatim what he’d said at the Valentine’s Day dance.
“Do you want something else? Ginger ale? I think I saw some of that in the fridge.”
Actually, it sounded good. “Sure. I guess.”
He reached in and got a can, handed it to her without the benefit of a glass. She popped the top and watched as he opened his beer. “Want to sit on the porch for a few minutes?” she suggested. It would be better than staring at each other here in the kitchen. “I could stand a few minutes of peace and quiet.”
They made their way outside to the veranda, settled into the deep wooden chairs that lived there during the summer months. Kailey let out a sigh. “It’s nice to sit. In the stillness, I mean.” She could still hear peepers chirping from the ditches, and a cool breeze fluttered the leaves on the trees. Up on the porch, though, they were sheltered from the wind.
“I thought you liked music and commotion.”
“I do. I don’t know why, but I was just tired today.” Dissatisfied, really, she realized. And had been for a while now.
Silence stretched out.
“It was nice of you to take Mrs. Solomon home.”
He took a long pull of his beer. “It was no biggie. It was a long day for her. Plus Amber was getting tired. She fell asleep on the drive.”
“She sure looked cute in her flower-girl dress.”
“Yes,” he said, his voice deep and smooth. “She sure did.”
Kailey had just taken a long, cool drink of ginger ale when Rylan added, “And you looked pretty, too, Kailey. That color suits you.”
She was still wearing her dress. She’d figured she’d jump in the truck, head home, maybe take a bath before bed. “Lacey chose it,” she said, and somehow her voice sounded strangled in the peaceful night.
This was probably a mistake. Right now all she was picturing was the sight of him changing back into his jeans after swimming, his body corded and muscled and the scar on his left hip from a long-ago injury. She should leave. Take her bag and get in her truck and go as quickly as possible. He was no good for her.
Yet she couldn’t seem to make herself get out of her chair.
He was right beside her, close enough that she could smell his aftershave, sense the warmth of his body. Her right leg was crossed over her left knee, and she watched, transfixed, as Rylan reached over and touched the skin just below her hem with a single finger. Her eyes fluttered closed as all her senses went on high alert. Warning bells crashed through her brain, but she didn’t hear them. She was so focused on the delicious feel of that single finger lightly grazing the skin right above her knee. No higher or lower. Just back and forth, a lazy caress, sending her hormones into overdrive.
“Ry,” she whispered, a warning wrapped in a sigh.
“I know,” he answered softly. “I know I shouldn’t. But you’re so damned pretty.”
She swallowed against the lump in her throat.
“I can’t seem to stay away from you,” he lamented, all the while the rough pad of his finger slid back and forth on her skin. “I know I should. I know I’m not the kind of man you want. Hell, I don’t want to be. And yet here I am, wondering if I dare kiss you again.”
How was it that one innocent touch could send her body into a nuclear meltdown?
“Why’d you have to come back, anyway?” She closed her eyes, losing herself to the sensation of being seduced. By his voice, by his touch, by simply being here in the dark with him.
“I ask myself that a million times a day,” he answered, and now it was his hand on her knee, sliding beneath the light fabric of her dress, running over her thigh. “I don’t know, Kailey. I just don’t know.”
“Me either,” she said, and opened her eyes. Her whole body was at attention. “Ry, you either have to stop or kiss me because I’m dying over here.”
It was all she had to say. Slowly, so slowly it was sweet torture, Ry slipped his hand away from her leg and pushed himself up out of the deck chair. Then he leaned over her, his hands braced against the arms of her chair, and touched her lips with his.
This was what she remembered. What she’d hungered for. The memory had been accurate but not nearly as good as the reality, and she put her hands on his shoulders, kissed him back. When he lowered himself farther, kneeling in front of her chair, something flashed through her mind, a remembrance of how good, how intense, how consuming it had been making love to him. They wouldn’t go that far tonight. Couldn’t. But she’d waited three and a half long months to touch him again.
He let go of the chair and put his hands on her hips, pulling her forward a little so that her legs parted and he knelt between them. She leaned forward and kissed him back, his head just slightly below hers. A gasp sounded in the stillness—hers—when his lips slid away and trailed down her neck to the hollow of her throat.
Yet something didn’t feel right. It wasn’t even the way he’d left her before that was sticking in the back of her mind somewhere. It was the knowledge that he’d leave her again. And recognizing that, at least for her, there was more at work than sexual attraction.
He was fun, he was charming. He cared for his brother and sister and was good with kids. If they played with the fire that was desire, she would be the one who got burned the worst.
“Stop,” she breathed, torn between knowing they had to cease this craziness and never wanting it to end. “We can’t do this, Ry. We can’t.”
“We already are,” he murmured, his tongue sliding behind her ear and sending shivers down her spine.
“No.” She put her hands on his arms and gripped them firmly, pushing him away. “I don’t want this.”
He stopped, but he met her gaze boldly. “You’re a liar. You do want it. You want it as much as I do, Kailey.”
Damn him for making things so difficult. “Yes. I do. Physically. But it’s more than that for me, and it’ll never be more than that for you. Do you understand?”
He frowned. “You make it sound like I don’t care about you at all.”
Kailey sighed, wished he’d move so she didn’t feel pinned in her chair. But at least he’d stopped, moved back so that he wasn’t right in her space anymore.
How could she explain that everything had changed the morning she’d woken alone, without making him think that she was in love with him? She wasn’t. But it had been the kick in the pants she needed. A cold-water slap of reality.
“Ry, neither of us can deny that there’s a certain...attraction between us. But something changed in February, the morning I woke up and you were gone.”
She met his gaze, hoped she wasn’t blushing. Confession and unloading her feelings wasn’t really her style. “It was a wake-up call to me. I know what I want, and it’s not what you want, and I’d only be setting myself up to get hurt.”
He finally sat back on his heels. “Jeez, Kailey.”
“Ry, you’re not a bad guy. You’re funny and charming and fairly kind. You’d have the power to hurt me, and I can’t walk into that. This really isn’t about me being angry about what happened then. It’s more...understanding what would surely happen now, and being smart enough to avoid it.”
Rylan sat down on his rump and pushed back the few extra inches until his back rested against the veranda railing. “You know, in my experience most women see that as a challenge. That I’m a project that needs to be fixed.”
Kailey understood that, too. Heck, she’d been there. Attracted to the unattainable guy, so sure that she was the one who could change his mind and tame his bad-boy ways. Colt Black had been a prime example. She’d taken her time, certain he’d come around and reconsider, and then he’d found someone else. On Valentine’s Day she’d started dancing with Rylan just to make Colt jealous. Make him see what he’d given up...
“I’m not interested in fixing anyone.” She let out a sigh and then a little laugh. “Shoot, do you think this means I’m getting old?”
He chuckled a little, too. “Not old. Wise.” He held her gaze, his eyes nearly black in the moonlit evening. “Look, I’m not going to deny that I’m disappointed. You do something to me, Kailey. But I also appreciate you shooting straight with me.”
“I don’t want to be angry at you,” she replied. “I just want...”
That was just it. Part of her still wanted to throw caution to the wind and fall into his arms. The other part wanted them to find a way to coexist for the next few months until he left Crooked Valley behind.
“I just want us to be friends. Do you think that’s even possible?”
“I don’t see why not.”
“Okay. Good.” Yet agreeing to keep things 100 percent platonic caused an awkward silence to fall over the evening. “I’d better go. Mom and Dad will be wondering where I am.”
He grinned and she rolled her eyes. “I know. Don’t say it. I’m too old to live with my parents.”
“No judgment,” he replied, the smile still on his face.
“Cool.” She got up and went inside to get her bag. When she came back out, Rylan was still sitting with his back against the veranda railing, his arms resting on his knees. He looked a little sexy and a little bit sad at the same time. Definitely lonely.
She looped her keys over her index finger and went down the steps, her boots sounding extra loud in the stillness of the night. She paused at the bottom and looked back up at him.
“Rylan? For some reason, you seem to sell yourself short. Maybe if you stopped doing that, you wouldn’t feel the need to keep running.”
He spun to look at her, and she shrugged. “Just a suggestion.”
She drove back to the ranch, her body still humming from his touch, but sure in her head that she’d done the right thing.
It was just unfortunate that her heart took a little more convincing.
This time when Rylan rolled into Crooked Valley, it was midafternoon and he was pulling a horse trailer behind him. The latest rodeo had taken him north, and he’d come out on top again. The side trip he’d made yesterday had turned out to be worth it, and the prize money had come in handy.
Very handy. He whistled as he pulled up next to the corral outside the horse barn and carefully backed the trailer toward the gate.
He parked and hopped out, then checked the doors and gates to make sure the corral was secure. Only then did he swing open the gate behind his trailer and prepare to let out Rattler, the newest addition to the Crooked Valley stock contracting business.
He could hear the stomps and crashes of hooves in the back and he grinned. This stallion was full of piss and vinegar for sure. Getting him into the trailer had been interesting, but Rylan knew how to be patient. Just as he’d be patient now.
Rattler could be a pussycat if he wanted to. At least with no one trying to sit on his back.
Randy, one of the hands who worked mostly with the horses, came out of the barn and ambled up to the fence. “Whatcha got in the trailer, Ry?”
“A present. Do me a favor and stand over here, will ya, Randy? I’m going to let him out.”
A thump echoed against the side of the trailer. “Sounds like a bruiser,” Randy mused.
“We’ll find out when I get him in the chute,” Rylan answered. He was pretty sure he’d made a sound investment. And even Duke couldn’t argue about the price because Rylan had a plan for that, too. Just because his plans didn’t include sticking around in the long term didn’t mean he couldn’t help invest in the ranch’s future.
“Ready?”
Rattler thundered out of the trailer with a clatter of angry hooves, charging down the ramp and straight through into the corral. He was off like a shot, kicking up his legs in a tantrum-like statement. The equivalent, Rylan figured, of giving him the finger for keeping him closed up for so long. He chuckled, impressed and, to his surprise, quite excited. Rattler could make all the difference to Crooked Valley if Duke could hang tight for the investment to pay off.
“He’s a pretty one.” Randy nodded.
“Don’t let him hear you say that. You’ll offend his manhood.” But he was secretly inclined to agree. “Close the gate, Randy. I’m going to pull the trailer ahead.”
By the time he’d moved the truck, a small crowd had gathered by the fence. Carrie had come down from the house, bringing Lacey with her. Duke and Quinn came into the yard as supper time drew close. Unconcerned, Rattler trotted around the fenced circle, his mane streaming and eyes bright.
“What in the world?” Duke asked, a deep frown marring his face.
“Meet Rattler, the newest stud for your bucking stock.” Rylan kept his voice deliberately upbeat and light.
“My what?”
Duke looked anything but pleased, and Rylan saw him exchange a look with Carrie. A look that set Rylan’s teeth on edge. Uh-oh, it said. What’s Rylan gone and done now?
“Rylan. Where on earth did you get this horse?”
“At Mack Rigden’s place outside Dickinson. Mack’s thinking about retiring soon. I heard a rumor that he was going to take some stock to auction, so I made a detour on the way home.”
“Why on earth... Did it occur to you to run this past me? Or Quinn?”
Rylan held his cool. He’d expected some resistance, after all. “We all know what you need to keep the program going is a good sire. One that others will pay stud fees for.”
“And it’ll take a long damn time for him to earn his keep! What were you thinking, doing this without consulting me? Forget upkeep, there’s no way we could afford this right now.”
He’d expected Duke to be mad. He looked at Lacey and saw hope on her face. Things didn’t really change, did they? Duke was the oldest and figured he should have the final word on everything. And Lacey was the tenderhearted one who believed in him even when she shouldn’t.
He hated the thought of letting them down. He’d avoided putting himself in this position for a lot of years. He’d hated the idea of coming back here, facing all the old hurts, irritated that Grandpa Joe was yanking them around like puppets on a string even after his death. If he had to be here, he was going to do it his way. At least some of the time, anyway.
“I knew what you’d say.”
“For Pete’s sake, Ry. Lacey’s been trying to trim some costs since she came on, and we’ve both got families to support.”
Ouch.
“Duke,” Carrie admonished quietly.
But Duke was well and truly irritated. “Well, it’s true. Rylan’s been going wherever the wind takes him without a care in the world, and now Lacey and I both depend on this ranch to support our spouses and children. Meanwhile, he can blow in like a tornado and leave again just as quickly.”
Ry’s temper flared, and he struggled to measure his words. He didn’t ask for this. He was trying to help, for God’s sake. But clearly his brother had some issues he needed to get off his chest.
“Crooked Valley isn’t on the hook for a red cent, so don’t get your panties in a twist.” Ry lifted his chin. “Rattler’s mine. I bought him with my own money.”
Duke’s jaw dropped. Lacey stared. “Your own money?” she asked. “But, Ry, you said before that a good stud horse would be expensive.”
“How expensive?” Duke asked, an edge to his voice.
Carrie and Quinn remained silent, as if sensing this was between the siblings.
“Seventeen and a half.”
Duke cursed. Carrie’s eyes widened. Even Quinn let out a low whistle.
“You’re going to ask, so I’ll save you the trouble. I’ve had a good year. And I’ve been working for years. My last place, my board was covered in the winter and in the summer I stayed in the RV. My only expenses were my truck and the clothes on my back. I managed to put some away. Then when I sold the camper and bought the smaller one I still had money in the bank.”
Not only in the bank. He’d never been much of a spender, kept things simple rather than extravagant. He’d actually taken the step of investing some of his salary every payday. If he told them how much, they’d never believe him. He wasn’t even thirty yet and he had a nice little nest egg.
Duke ran his hand through his hair. “You should have come to me. We should have talked about it.”
“I was trying to do something good here. The opportunity came up and I seized it. Yeah, I paid a good price for him, but I would have been on the hook for more if I’d waited for him to go to auction.”
The fire in Duke’s eyes was starting to mellow.
“Look, Duke, here’s the deal. For all intents and purposes, Rattler is part of Crooked Valley. We can use him to breed our mares. He’ll earn his keep with breeding fees. He’s going to be in demand, I promise you. And all the money will go into ranch coffers. The only thing I ask is that his ownership stays with me.”
It felt like a big step. Owning Rattler tied him to Crooked Valley in a bigger way than he cared to be, but he also knew it was the only way Duke would agree to the purchase.
“I don’t know, Ry.”
“Trust me,” he entreated. “I’ve been doing this a long time, Duke. Hell, if you don’t trust my judgment, trust Kailey’s. Have her come over and give her opinion.”
He thought about it for a moment and took it a step further. “I’ll make you a deal. If Kailey comes over and says I made a mistake, I’ll take him to auction.”
He looked at all of them. Quinn’s gaze held a glimmer of respect and even Duke looked uncomfortably resigned to the idea. It was an impulsive suggestion, and things were hot and cold with Kailey, depending on the situation. But he trusted her horse sense. Brandt’s stock was top-notch. He also trusted her to be honest—even if she didn’t like it.
Hmm. It had been quite a while since he’d really trusted anyone that much. And that included Duke and Lacey.
Quinn stepped forward. “I think that’s a fair idea, Rylan. Kailey’s been helpful with advice for me over the past several months and there’s no question she knows what she’s doing. What do you say, Duke?”
Duke gave a short nod. “I’ll agree to that. I’ll hear what she has to say before making any decisions.”
Rylan bit his tongue, knowing he had to choose his moments. And he realized that Duke had taken on the bulk of the day-to-day operations of the ranch. But, dammit, they each owned a third. They each had equal say. He looked over at Lacey, who was now looking uncomfortable, probably because she was caught in the middle. He knew if it came down to it, she’d go with whatever Duke wanted. Duke, the natural leader. Not Rylan, the baby of the family.
Meanwhile, Ry went to the truck and retrieved an apple from a bag he had on the seat. He applied just the right pressure to break it in half, and he took a bite, crunching into the white flesh while holding the other half on the palm of his hand.
All he had to do was hold his hand over the top of the fence for about two seconds and Rattler started trotting over. Hide glistening and eyes bright, he lipped the fruit from Ry’s palm and chewed contentedly, bits of apple and juice flying.
“Atta boy,” Ry soothed quietly, rubbing his hand along Rattler’s neck. “The ladies are gonna love you.”
Quinn interrupted the moment. “Kailey says she can come over after supper.”
“Thanks, Quinn,” Ry said. He got the sense that Quinn was an ally and was actually relieved someone had stepped up with the stock program. But maybe the ranch manager wasn’t saying much because he didn’t want to put himself in the middle of a family issue. Couldn’t hate a guy for that.
While Quinn and Duke went to do evening chores, Carrie and Lacey headed to the house. Ry stayed behind, watching Rattler become accustomed to his new surroundings. There was a particularly big stall at the near end of the barn that he could claim, though for right now what the stallion really needed was to be turned out to pasture. That was something Ry would have to talk to Quinn about, since they had a number of open mares and the last thing Ry wanted to happen was some unplanned breeding.
He skipped the family dinner and instead parked the trailer, cleaned it out and unloaded his stuff in the camper. Then he went back out and took a good look at the brood mares. If Kailey was on board, if he could get her to hold true to her promise to use a new stud for Brandt’s stock, it would be a big boost for Crooked Valley’s reputation.
He’d like to breed one or two of their own mares, too. Like Candyfloss, an Appaloosa with some Clyde blood in her. She had a size and attitude that Rylan liked to see in a horse. Manageable and friendly when not in the chute, but a natural bucking instinct that he thought would work well with Rattler’s temperament. With her strength and Rattler’s high spirits, he figured there was a chance of breeding a good saddle bronc.
After Rylan had gone through the barn, he went back to the corral and leaned on the fence, watching as Rattler stood in the sun, his hide twitching now and again.
And swallowed against a lump in his throat.
When he’d been little, he’d loved this ranch. He’d loved the horses and the cows and Grandma Eileen’s cooking. He’d wanted to run through the fields and pastures all day long, climb on the huge, round bales of hay, pick up garter snakes in the grass. He’d ridden his pony every opportunity he’d had, and when he wasn’t doing that he’d nagged Duke to play rodeo with him. It usually had involved lassoes and some sort of mock calf Grandpa Joe had set up for them behind the barn. Duke, if Rylan remembered correctly, had done it grudgingly. At first Ry had thought it was because Duke didn’t want to be saddled with a younger brother. But now, Rylan realized something important: Duke had always wanted to be a soldier. Out of all the kids, it had been Rylan who’d missed the ranch the most.
When they’d moved to Helena, Rylan hadn’t fit in anywhere. In his ideal world, he was back on the ranch, with the horses and the cattle, currying Daisy’s coat and feeding her carrots. Not in a city school where kids teased him if he wore his boots and hat. Even the week or so in the summer that they’d used to visit hadn’t been fun, because it only served to remind Rylan that he had to say goodbye and go back to the city he’d hated.
Rattler wandered around the corral and Rylan sighed. He’d put off coming back here because it hurt too much. Because he resented being ripped away from it in the first place. He wished it didn’t feel so much like home again. Wished he could stay detached. But he knew that his biggest fear had already come to pass.
He was going to hate leaving again.