Kailey knew it was just a trip to the hospital, but she didn’t want to show up in jeans and a T-shirt. At three she called it quits and left the barn in favor of a shower. Now, wearing a sundress and sandals, she put the last twists on the single French braid and wrapped the elastic around the end. For some reason her hair braided easier when it was damp, and she checked the mirror briefly, satisfied with the neat plait. Her freckles were starting to stand out thanks to days in the sun, and a swish of mascara made her eyes seem bigger and a swipe of lipstick highlighted her lips. She hoped it looked like she was trying—but not trying too hard.
Her mom had made cheese biscuits and had packed a half dozen in a zipped plastic bag in case Carrie was getting nasty hospital food. Kailey wasn’t the crochet type, so the blue gift bag in her hand held store-bought clothes. Her favorite was the Onesie that said Handsome Cowboy across the front with the picture of a mustache beneath it. She knew Duke would get a kick out of it. There was also a pair of the tiniest jeans she’d ever seen, paired with a soft red-and-blue plaid shirt.
This little guy was going to be a rancher all the way.
“Rylan’s here!” her mother called.
“Thanks, Mom.” Kailey made her way toward the front room. She rather hoped to get out before her mom had the opportunity to say anything, but no such luck. Her mother met her in the entry, holding out Kailey’s purse.
“Don’t forget this. And have fun.”
“I’m visiting a hospital, Mom.”
“With Rylan Duggan. He’s very handsome, you know.”
“Yes, I know.” She took the purse.
“And you look very pretty, honey.”
Kailey smoothed her hand over the skirt of the dress. “Is it too much? I didn’t want to look like I’d gone right from the barn or smell up the hospital.”
“No, it’s not too much. Give Carrie and Duke our love. And take a few pictures with that phone of yours.”
“I will.” On impulse she leaned over and kissed her mother’s cheek before opening the door and stepping out onto the porch.
Rylan had shut off the truck and was walking across the yard, but he stopped when he saw her. A low whistle sounded from his lips. “Shee-oot,” he said, grinning at her. “You dressed up and everything.”
She scowled. “I do own clothing other than jeans and shirts.”
“Yes, you most certainly do, Miss Brandt.” He backtracked to the truck and opened the passenger-side door. She hoped she wasn’t blushing as she climbed into the cab and he shut the door behind her.
On the seat beside her was a tote bag and a teddy bear with a blue gingham ribbon around its neck. “You went shopping?” she asked as Rylan got in and started the truck by reaching around the steering wheel with his left hand.
“Just a stop at the store in town. Lacey went to visit before lunch and said that Carrie had put in a request for some clothes. I guess they weren’t quite ready to leave for the hospital when Carrie went into labor.” He chuckled as they started out the driveway. “Duke’s only been home long enough to get a few hours sleep and have a shower, and he was so anxious to get back, he forgot to pack what she’d asked for. Lacey says he is one proud papa.”
“Of course he is. Especially since this is his first baby.”
It seemed Rylan was true to his word about the platonic thing. On the way to the hospital they chatted about Crooked Valley, the changes Rylan wanted to implement in the program, things Kailey had done with Brandt stock and the plausibility of implementing similar practices at the Duggans’. Nothing personal, no innuendos. It was nice, she realized. As Ry sang Rattler’s praises, she discovered she’d missed this kind of chat in recent months. She and Carrie had often shared work talks, but since Duke’s arrival, her friend had been preoccupied with love and babies. So, too, with Quinn. His focus was on Lacey now and a brand-new family. Not Rylan, though. No romance and babies for him.
Her relief was tempered by a slight thread of disappointment, which was absolutely ridiculous. Romance and babies weren’t what she wanted from him. She really didn’t want anything, besides peace.
They arrived and made their way to the maternity wing, treading softly as they approached the correct room number. Kailey peeked around the corner of the door and saw Carrie sitting up in bed, flipping the pages of a magazine while a nursery bassinette sat beside the bed.
“Knock knock,” she called softly.
Carrie looked up and a smile lit her face. “Hi! Come on in.” Her voice was clear but hushed. “He’s sleeping right now. Perfect time for visitors.”
Kailey stepped in, feeling as if she was in another world. Sure, she’d been around babies now and again. She’d babysat occasionally growing up and she’d always been close to Amber, Quinn’s daughter. But her best friend, as a mom...it did something to her. Made her happy and sad and a little bit broody. Had her dedication to Brandt Ranch cost her something important? What might have happened if Colt hadn’t withdrawn his proposal?
“You look wonderful,” Kailey said, and Rylan trailed into the room behind her. “Mom sent you biscuits and honeyed butter. And Rylan brought you your clothes.”
Ry held up the bag. “Lacey packed it. I didn’t go through your delicates.”
Carrie choked on a laugh. “Oh, God, the very idea of delicates right now is...well, comical.”
Rylan blushed. Kailey grinned.
“Where’s Duke?”
“On a sandwich run. I’m dying for a turkey sub and a glass of cold milk.”
Kailey peered into the bassinette. The junior Duggan was sleeping, his tiny lips sucking in and out, a pale fringe of red hair peeking around a stretchy blue cap. He was swaddled in a flannel blanket, and looked so tiny and fragile that Kailey caught her breath.
“He’s beautiful, Carrie. Just beautiful. Ry, come see.”
Rylan dutifully peeked at the baby and Kailey watched as his face softened, mellowed. What kind of father would he make? Kind, she figured. Probably patient.
But restless. And whoever married him would have to get used to his itchy feet. He didn’t like to stay in one place for long, didn’t like to be fenced in, did he? It would be like permanently stabling a bronco who longed to run wild in a pasture thick with rich grass. A punishment.
“Have you named him yet? Lacey never said.”
“Evan Joseph.” Duke’s voice came from the doorway and he stepped inside as they turned to look at him. He was grinning from ear to ear, puffed up as any proud papa would be, carrying a paper sack of sandwiches, a can of soda and a bottle of milk.
“After our father and his father,” Rylan said softly.
“Do you mind?” Duke met his brother’s gaze, his face losing its joviality and turning serious.
“Of course not.” Rylan held out his left hand to Duke. “It’s a fine name, Duke. Congratulations.”
Kailey watched as Duke put down the food and shook Rylan’s hand, their gazes holding. Something was different tonight, something in the way they were with each other. More...equal. It didn’t really make sense, as she didn’t think anything had really changed. Heck, Rylan had been gone for weeks. When had there been time for them to hash out their differences? Last she’d seen, Duke was still ticked at Rylan for buying Rattler without his input.
“Sorry to hear about your accident,” Duke said, nodding at the sling. “Glad you’re all right, though. Guess this changes a few things, huh?”
Rylan nodded. “Unfortunately. If it’s all right with you, I’ll stay through until Christmas. Work with the bucking stock. That way the terms of the will’ll be met and Crooked Valley will be in the clear. All yours.”
Duke looked at Carrie, who smiled encouragingly, and then back at Rylan. “Wow. I appreciate that, Ry. Big-time.”
“I know it’s what you want. What Lacey wants. That’s why I came back, after all. It’s not your fault I can’t compete for now.”
Kailey tried not to let her mouth drop open. Rylan was staying? For at least another four months? When he’d been traveling while competing it had been easier to deal with the temptation he presented. He was only around now and again. But four months... Sixteen weeks. Hoo-boy.
Carrie spoke up from the bed. “We’ll have to decide what to do with your third, Rylan. We can maybe put together enough money to buy you out, if that’s what you want.”
He nodded. “We can talk about that when the time comes. No need to worry about that now.” He looked down at the baby. “Seems to me we have something here a little more important that takes priority.”
Duke reached into the bassinette and picked up the baby, holding him by the bottom and cradling his head in his big palm. “You’re right,” he agreed. Even though the baby was sleeping, Duke spoke to him. “Evan, meet your uncle Ry and your aunt Kailey.”
Kailey’s face heated. Had Duke paired up their names on purpose?
Duke held out his hands, offering Evan to Kailey first. “Do you want to hold him?”
She did. She blinked, thinking about how she’d had a chance to have a family of her own and had passed it up. Logically she knew there was still a chance. She wasn’t exactly old. But it definitely felt as though her options were limited, and seeing her friends marry and have families just drove the point home.
She’d made her choice. It wasn’t likely that situation would change, either.
But for now she held out her arms and accepted the small, warm bundle into her embrace. Evan’s tiny head rested in the curve of her elbow as she looked down into the angelic face. He’d awakened, not fussing, but with dark, unfocused eyes staring at her.
“Well, hello there,” she said softly, feeling her heart turn over. Babies were so innocent, so helpless. So...precious. “You and me, we’re gonna have some fun. I’m gonna teach you to climb that old oak tree behind the big house, and we’ll catch tadpoles in the pond and get good and dirty. Just you wait.”
She looked up at Carrie. “You did good, hon. He’s awesome.”
“We think so. At least for now. Talk to me in a few days when I haven’t had any sleep.”
Any jealousy Kailey might have felt was short-lived. Carrie had no family left. She was an only child and her mother had died of cancer a few years earlier, and her father had taken off. It was so good to see Carrie happy and contented. “You are going to be spoiled rotten. Lacey and I are going to see to it that you get some downtime to sleep. We’ll be fighting over who gets to babysit.”
“I feel very lucky,” Carrie replied, patting the bed. Kailey went and sat beside her on the mattress, Evan still snuggled in her arms. “I never expected this. And I don’t feel so alone. It’s nice to know that you’re close by, and Lacey, too. Helen is even coming for a week to help out.”
The baby felt very right in Kailey’s arms. She leaned back against the pillows and nudged Carrie. “Look at that. I thought Duke was still mad at Rylan.”
The brothers were sitting in two vinyl armchairs, chatting away effortlessly.
“I know it sounds terrible, but I’m almost glad that Rylan was in that accident,” Carrie said.
“What? But why?” Kailey recalled all the bruising down Rylan’s side and cringed. “He’s really banged up, you know. Lots of bruising you haven’t seen.”
“And you have?” Carrie’s words were laced with delighted curiosity.
“Not like that. I helped him get his shirt off yesterday, that’s all.”
“Sounds like enough to me,” Carrie responded, grinning.
“You still haven’t told me why you’re glad this happened?” Kailey frowned, trying to keep the conversation on track. “Ry’s incredibly disappointed. He really had a shot, you know?”
Carrie met her gaze. “You really care about him, don’t you?”
She hoped she managed to keep her poker face. “I don’t hate him anymore, and that’s a big step.”
“Well, Duke and I think that Rylan’s been running from something. Maybe this accident is what will make him stop running and think about settling down.”
“I’ve had the same thought myself. But what would he have to run from?” Kailey shifted the baby a bit, getting more comfortable.
“Duke doesn’t know. He just knows that once Rylan turned eighteen he was gone. He’s done nothing but move around since. Ranch to ranch, place to place, rodeos every other weekend. Avoiding anything that might be construed as a commitment.”
Kailey looked up and found Rylan’s gaze on her. Something warm and feminine curled through her insides, having him look at her like that.
She shifted her attention back to Carrie. “Maybe he just wanted a different adventure than Duke. You know, Duke was in the army for a lot of years. He got to move around, see different things, different people. I’m not saying it was easy...not at all. But maybe we’re all a little quick to judge.”
Carrie nudged her. “Oh, girlfriend, you’ve got it bad. You’re defending him now.”
Kailey shook her head. “What he did in February was wrong. I don’t defend those actions at all. I’m just saying maybe people shouldn’t be so quick to dismiss him.”
And maybe that had been the problem all along. He’d said something about always feeling like the tagger-on, either in the way or invisible. Maybe Carrie was right. Maybe staying on at Crooked Valley was just what Rylan needed for his family to take him seriously.
Except she’d distinctly heard him say the words until Christmas. Nothing long term or indefinite.
She’d monopolized Evan for long enough, so she got up off the bed and walked over to where Rylan was sitting. “You want to try, Uncle Ry?”
“I’ve only got one arm,” he cautioned. “Maybe I shouldn’t.”
“Your left one works fine and he’s just a little thing. I’ll help. You can’t visit and not at least hold him for a few minutes.”
He curled his arm into position and Kailey slid the baby into the strong curve, making sure his head was supported and he was held nice and tight. Rylan adjusted his shoulder and posture. “Well, would you look at that,” he murmured. “Gosh, he’s just a little mite. Hardly weighs anything.”
“Until he cries,” Duke said. “Then he gets real big, real fast.”
They all laughed. Rylan settled back in the chair while Duke handed Carrie the milk and unwrapped her sandwich. The talk was much lighter as they visited, and when the food was gone, Kailey went to work and brushed and braided Carrie’s hair as a treat.
“Lacey packed real pajamas for you in there,” Kailey said, nodding toward the tote bag. “Tomorrow you’ll be home and you can have a shower in your own bathroom and sleep in your own bed.”
“That sounds heavenly.”
By that time Evan was really awake and unhappy, looking for his next meal. When Carrie blushed, Kailey understood that she was going to nurse and that she wasn’t quite comfortable doing that in front of people—in particular her brother-in-law.
“We should probably get going anyway,” Kailey suggested. “Rather than outstay our welcome.”
“I’m awfully glad you came,” Carrie said, and Duke gave Kailey a quick hug. Rylan leaned over and kissed Carrie’s forehead in a tender gesture that softened Kailey’s heart even further.
“We’ll see you in a day or so. Call if you need anything, okay?”
He really had to start being not so nice.
They headed back toward Gibson, making a pit stop along the way for supper. True to his word, Rylan sprang for burgers and fries, and they sat in his truck and ate them with the windows rolled down, Rylan manhandling his sandwich with one hand. It was about as un-date-like as Kailey could imagine, yet there was something rather intimate about sitting there with a surprisingly humid breeze pulling through the cab. The showers that had been forecast hadn’t arrived yet, but as Kailey ate her fries she knew rain was coming. There was a smell in the air, a taste that she’d experienced many times over the years.
They didn’t talk. There’d been a lot of talking the past few days, and instead they simply sat and ate, and enjoyed the fresh air and greasy food.
Finally, when the last fry had been eaten, and Kailey took a long pull on her soda, Rylan spoke.
“Thunderstorms are rolling in.”
Indeed, the sultry air had gone cold, and the wind shushed through the leaves in a telltale whisper of impending bad weather. Through the windshield, Kailey saw dark clouds towering in the sky, gray and menacing. “Damn,” she murmured. “I hope everything was dried and baled this afternoon. I probably shouldn’t have gone tonight.”
“Not much you can do about it now,” Rylan said reasonably. They watched through the window as the cloud built and shifted, drawing nearer. A spear of lightning forked toward the ground, and despite the noise from traffic on the highway beside them, they heard the rumble of distant thunder several seconds later.
“Do you want to try to head back now, or sit through it and wait?”
“Let’s drive,” she said. “Rain’s forecast for tomorrow, too. The showers could last for hours.”
“You got it.”
They were almost to Gibson when the sky darkened and the thunder could be heard over the rumble of the engine. A gust of wind grabbed at the truck, and Rylan’s lips formed a grim line. “Damn, I think we’re in for it now.”
He no sooner got the words out of his mouth than the sky opened up, hammering down huge droplets of rain that sounded like gravel hitting the truck. Rylan turned on the wipers full blast, but the road ahead was a wall of water, reducing visibility to a few feet. He slowed, put on his four-way flashers, and when a dirt range road appeared on the right, he turned off the main drag away from other traffic.
“Wow,” Kailey said, frowning. Rain was a welcome sight in summer, but not this kind, not such a downpour that it caused crop damage and run-off and flash floods.
“Wow is right,” he replied, pulling off on the wide shoulder. “We might as well ride the worst of it out. You don’t have a deck of cards or something in that bag, do you?”
She snorted out a laugh as he cut the engine. Without the purr of the motor, the rain was a rhythmic pounding that sheltered them from the outside world.
“Afraid not. But I have a pad of paper. We could play hangman.”
His sideways grin was back. “I know who you’d like to hang,” he said acidly. “Me.”
“Eh, not so much these days. I’m getting used to you.” She raised her eyebrow, arched it at him saucily. “That doesn’t mean I like you, by the way.”
“You did offer your house,” he reminded her.
“Because I felt sorry for you,” she replied.
“Damn,” he said softly. “This is why I like you, Kailey. You never give an inch and you make me laugh.”
She wanted to say likewise, but he didn’t need the encouragement.
The noise on the roof of the truck intensified, and their smiles faded. “Hail,” she breathed, knowing it could cause so much damage. Even with their limited vision they could see the white balls of ice bouncing off the windshield and hood.
The first storm cell eased, and Kailey thought for a minute they were going to be able to leave. But then a second cell came right behind it, complete with flashing lightning and cannon-like thunder. The safest place for them right now was exactly where they were.
She looked over at Rylan, who was staring grimly out the driver’s side window. “Mind if I ask you something?”
He shrugged. “Would it matter if I did mind?”
“Probably not,” she answered honestly. “There’s a consensus among your family that you’ve spent your adult life running from something. Is there any truth in that?”
He snapped his head around to stare at her. “Is that what they’re saying?”
She nodded. “That there has to be a reason why you left as soon as you were done high school. Why you haven’t settled anywhere. In fact, I think you surprised the hell out of them by coming back at all.”
“I like what I do. That’s all.”
She wondered if he’d open up if she opened up first. “I get the not wanting to be vulnerable, Ry. At the wedding when you asked why I wasn’t hitched? I had a real answer that I didn’t want to tell you.”
“Yeah?”
“Colt Black asked me last fall. We’d been seeing each other for a while. I thought we were crazy about each other. He works in a feedlot up around Cut Bank. When he realized I wouldn’t just up and leave the ranch behind, he changed his mind.”
“He withdrew his proposal?” Rylan’s eyes widened. “Are you serious?”
“Very.” She twisted her hands in her lap. She didn’t like talking about it, which was why the only person who knew what had happened was her mom. It had been impossible to hide her distress the night he’d broken it off.
“But...cripes, Kailey. You run the ranch. It couldn’t run without you.”
“That’s what I said.” She shook her head. “According to Colt, a woman followed her husband, not the other way around. I had no idea he was so...shortsighted.”
“Not to mention sexist,” Rylan added. “You’re better off, trust me.”
“I know,” she whispered, her voice barely audible above the racket of the storm. “But it still hurts sometimes. I know I come across as Fun Kailey. And up until the past year or so, that was enough. But seeing Carrie so happy and Lacey... I realized I want those things, Rylan. And I almost had them.”
He turned in the seat, unbuckling his seatbelt so he could face her better. “Listen,” he said firmly. “Having it doesn’t matter if it’s with the wrong person.”
She knew he was right.
Just as she knew he wasn’t the right person either.
“I know that. Deep down, I do. Anyway, that’s why I’m not hitched. I’m pretty much married to Brandt Ranch, and it comes with the package.”
Rylan nodded. “It’s a hell of a legacy. Of course you want to stay there.”
She was puzzled now. “Okay, so Crooked Valley is your legacy. Why fight taking on your third? You always wanted to be a cowboy. You loved it here as a kid. I know you said it hurt too much to come back, but now you’re here. What’s keeping you from going all the way?”
He sighed, slumped in his seat. “I don’t know. Fear? Stubbornness? I made myself a promise the day we drove away from here and moved to Helena. I promised myself that when I was old enough I would always, always call the shots in my own life. That no one could make me go anywhere I didn’t want. I cried every night for months, wanting to come back here. My best friend was a fifteen-year-old pony named Daisy, and everyone treated me like she was a stupid pet who didn’t matter and I should just get over it. I had no say. My opinion was brushed off because I was a little kid.”
“Are you still angry at your mom?”
His brows pulled together as he thought. “No, not really. The ranch was my dad’s family’s place, and without him she didn’t feel at home. She wasn’t a farm girl. And she had a family to support after he was gone. She did what she had to do. I understand that. She made her decisions and I’ve made mine. The thing is...”
He paused then. Looked at her and then looked away. “Never mind.”
For him to stop so suddenly, she knew what he’d been going to say was important.
She reached over and put her hand on his knee. “What is it, Ry?”
His gaze met hers. “I didn’t want to come back here because I was afraid I’d turn into that scared little boy again. God, that sounds silly.”
“No,” she answered, squeezing his thigh. “No, it doesn’t. Our memories shape us into who we become. Sometimes we embrace them. Sometimes we wish we could leave them behind.”
“I hate fear, do you know that?” His jaw was clenched. “My dad died and I was so scared that something might happen to my mom and we’d be left alone. Then Duke joined the army and I was afraid he’d be killed. I hate that helpless feeling.”
“And yet your passion is doing something that has the potential to hurt you.”
He pondered for a moment. “You know, it’s my way of giving fear the finger. I will never, ever let myself be so vulnerable that I turn into that frightened little boy again.”
Such as staying in one place too long. Such as forging meaningful, long-term relationships. The pieces came together for her now. It was all about self-preservation for Rylan. And damned if she didn’t understand it. Wasn’t that what she’d been doing for the past year?
“We end up doing some strange things in the name of protecting our hearts,” she mused. “Like Valentine’s Day. After we broke up, Colt moved on so fast he nearly gave himself whiplash. It stung. But when you showed up at the dance... I guess I thought it would be a good idea to show him what he’d tossed away.”
Rylan’s jaw dropped. “You mean I was revenge sex?”
Her cheeks heated. “This is where I owe you the apology, Ry. I was so hard on you for running out that morning, but my motives were far from pure where you were concerned. I own part of the blame for what happened.”
He put his left hand to his chest. “Oh, my God. You’ve just shredded the last bit of my pride.”
A small smile crept up her cheek. “I’m sorry, okay? I should never have gotten up on my high horse and been so rough on you. It was pride, pure and simple. Humiliation. I wasn’t proud of myself, and when I woke up I had to face the music.”
“I seriously think my feelings are hurt.”
She patted his knee. “If it’s any consolation at all, once we hit the sheets Colt Black was the furthest thing from my mind.”
She’d meant to make it sound like a joke, but once the words were out there they were really out there.
Rylan let out a soft curse. “You need to warn a guy before you say something like that, K. Because if you’re trying to make me forget that night, that’s not the way to do it.”
And neither was saying that. The rain still poured, and their minutes spent inside the truck had steamed up the windows. They were in their own little world, on a side road in the middle of a storm and nothing to do but fight the temptation that was getting heavier in the air by the second.
“Why don’t you come over here,” he suggested softly, locking his gaze with hers. “Come over here and kiss me like you know you want to.”
“Rylan...”
“No revenge, no promises, no skipping out in the morning. Just you and me, Kailey. I’m not sure how much longer we can do this dance without something giving.”