Stick Dog really, really, really wanted to put some thinking into where that meat truck had gone—and to get Karen out of the hole. But he knew he would need to listen to Poo-Poo’s Karen-rescuing strategy first.
He asked, “What’s your plan, Poo-Poo?”
“It involves some very scientific thinking,” Poo-Poo said slowly, trying his best to appear studious and smart. “I’ve been pondering this problem for a long, long time.”
“How long, Poo-Poo?” asked Mutt.
“Days and days,” Poo-Poo replied, and rubbed his chin with his right paw for several seconds. “Weeks even. The hardest problems often take a lengthy period of time to solve. And this one is a doozy, there’s no doubt about that.”
Stick Dog did not ask how Poo-Poo could have been thinking about Karen’s dilemma for weeks when she had only been at the bottom of that hole for, you know, ten minutes or so.
Instead, he said, “It sounds like you’ve really put a lot of thought into a solution, Poo-Poo. What’s involved?”
“It all goes back to the theory of gravity. You know, that time when a watermelon fell out of a tree and hit Abraham Lincoln on the head,” Poo-Poo replied, nodding his head slowly. He then thought of other things that might be useful. “And we’ll need Yo-Yo Ma’s military strategy at Waterloo. And Neil Armstrong’s inspiration in the Gettysburg Address.”
Stick Dog almost laughed, but he lowered his head quickly and coughed instead.
Mutt observed, “I had no idea you knew about all that science stuff, Poo-Poo.”
Stripes was impressed too. She added, “And history. I mean, wow, you know a lot about history.”
“Oh, yeah. I know all about such things,” Poo-Poo said, trying to be modest but not really succeeding. “There’s Wilma Shakespeare’s Theory of Evolution, for example. And there was that time way back in 2014 when Mahatma Gandhi attached a key to a kite string, flew it during a thunderstorm, and discovered the planet Jupiter. And then, of course, there’s Harry Potter.”
“Who’s Harry Potter?” Karen called from the hole.
“He’s only one of the greatest thinkers of his generation.”
Despite his impatience, Stick Dog had to ask, “What did he do?”
“He invented the lightbulb,” Poo-Poo answered confidently.
“I thought that was, umm, Thomas Edison,” Stick Dog said.
“No, it was Harry Potter,” Poo-Poo added even more confidently. He didn’t like having his scientific knowledge and historical expertise questioned. “Thomas Edison was the first person to run a mile in less than four minutes.”
“I see. Thanks for correcting me,” Stick Dog said.
“I wasn’t correcting you, Stick Dog,” replied Poo-Poo. “That would be rude. It was more like I was informing you.”
“Oh, umm, then thanks for informing me, I guess.”
“You’re welcome.”
Truthfully, Stick Dog could have listened to this for much longer. It was great fun, but he needed to get things moving. He wanted to hunt down that meat truck. “So, Poo-Poo, how do we combine all of your knowledge about science and history to get Karen out of the hole?”
“We just all go to the edge of the hole, lean over, and then think of delicious food,” Poo-Poo answered. “We’ll all start to drool. I call it Poo-Poo’s Scientific Theory of Drooling.”
“But how does drooling get Karen out of the hole?” Stick Dog pressed politely.
“We don’t just drool for a couple of minutes,” Poo-Poo explained further. “Or even for a few hours. We drool into this hole for days and days. Eventually, the hole will fill up to the top. And then Karen will just float up! Simple!”
“Umm, Poo-Poo, I think—” Stick Dog started to say. But he was interrupted again.
“I know what you’re going to say, Stick Dog,” Poo-Poo said.
“I’m not sure you do.”
“You’re going to say that I’m a genius,” said Poo-Poo. “You’re going to say that my drooling-for-days strategy is the best thing you’ve ever heard. You’re going to say that only one of the planet’s great creative thinkers could have thought of this plan.”
“You’re exactly right,” Stick Dog declared. “I was going to say that you’re the only being on the planet who could come up with such an idea.”
“Thank you,” Poo-Poo said, and bowed for some reason. “Thank you very much.”
“I don’t think we can spend days drooling here though,” Stick Dog said. He tried to put as much disappointment into his voice as he could.
“Why not?”
“I think we’ll get super-hungry,” Stick Dog said. “We won’t eat for days. And we’ll be thinking of delicious food the whole time. I mean, that would be awful.”
Poo-Poo seemed to understand this logic. His tail drooped as he said, “But it seems like such a waste to not use such a brilliant plan.”
“It is a waste,” Stick Dog said kindly. “But it’s not like we’ll never ever use your plan. Next time one of us gets stuck in a hole, we can all think back to this day and say, ‘Hey, remember Poo-Poo’s great fill-up-a-hole-with-drool plan? Maybe we should do that!’ That will be so nice, don’t you think?”
Poo-Poo’s tail stopped drooping—and started wagging. He felt better already.
That’s when Mutt spoke up.
“Hey, Stick Dog?”
“Yes, Mutt?”
“I was just wondering if now might be a good time for me to share my plan?”
