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Kitty found it impossible to sleep that night. Her mind kept going back to the scene of Henry and Christopher in the library. In her mind it became a battle of good and evil, white knight versus black knight. That made her the damsel in distress. No man had ever stood up for her like that. Even her own husband, dear as he was, had chosen to keep her past a secret because he wouldn’t face it for her.
Henry knew almost the entire truth about who she was and he acted like it didn’t matter. Part of her wanted to believe him desperately, but the more logical part said it was impossible. No man could so simply over look what she had been in her past.
If the truth came to light and society knew about it, she wasn’t sure she could handle the shame of it. Lying in bed, tossing and turning, wasn’t going to help solve anything. She needed to talk to him.
It was well past the middle of the night and everyone was inside a bedroom. Some were in their own rooms and some were not. That was common place at house parties like this. She had on a dressing gown over her nightgown but hadn’t bothered to do anything with her hair, so it fell in thick curls down her back. She probably looked like she had gotten out of bed, since she had.
Patrick had told her where all the other guests were staying. She didn’t know at the time she would be using the information to sneak to a man’s room. There was light peeking out underneath Henry’s door. He must be having trouble finding sleep as well. Gently, she knocked and waited for him to ask who was there. Instead the door swung open to reveal him standing there.
“You?” he sounded surprised to find her at the door.
“Were you expecting someone else?” She was nervous now that she was there.
“I assumed it was Rory, she was the only person I could think would be here this late.”
“Are you two still fighting?”
“It’s not a fight if one person isn’t speaking to the other.”
They stood there quietly. Henry was only partially dressed, wearing his trousers and his shirt but nothing else. He was even in his bare feet. It struck her how inappropriate the situation was, and her cheeks grew warm.
“What are you doing here?” Henry finally asked.
“I thought we might be able to talk.” Kitty answered. “There were a lot of things said tonight. I thought it might be best if we got things clear.”
“You don’t have to explain anything to me.”
“I want to tell you the truth. You deserve that.”
He moved aside so she could enter the bedroom. It was smaller than her own room, with only the fire burning in the fireplace. He had none of the gas lamps on, so everything was cast in dancing shadows, including the bed. That one piece of furniture seemed to dominate the room. It drew her eyes and made her hands fidget with her skirt.
“Appearing in a man’s bedroom is quite unexpected.” Henry said. “We had best keep it short, so you can get back to your own room unnoticed.”
“No one cares much about my reputation.”
“That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t.”
Kitty pulled her gaze away from the bed, turning to look at the man. That wasn’t any less inappropriate, considering the amount of skin the man showed. Heat built in her stomach as she let her eyes roam over his figure, taking in every delicious detail. She should show modesty and look away, but it was impossible for her to do.
“That’s what I came here to talk to you about.” She struggled to stay focused on what she needed to discuss with him.
“Your reputation? Perhaps you don’t understand how one’s reputation works. A man’s room, in the middle of the night, is not going to help it.”
“I’m not trying to help it. I’m trying to keep it a secret.”
There was only one chair in the room, so Kitty took that seat and Henry sat on the edge of the bed. There wasn’t more than a couple of feet between the two and Kitty felt like the distance was even less. Her body had become aware of him the moment the door opened. She could feel all the signs of desire, even if she was not as familiar with the feeling as one would expect. She sat rigidly in the chair, watching him carefully.
“Are you worried about what Christopher said tonight? I have no intention of repeating that.”
“You don’t believe what he said?” she asked.
“Of course not.”
“Why?”
“I know you are a lady, not an actress.”
Kitty took a deep breath. “I am both.”
For a moment he was silent, his blue eyes focused on her. She refused to squirm under the attention and faced him boldly.
“You are an actress?” he finally spoke slowly.
“No, but I was. When my husband met me, I was part of a traveling theater group performing in Bath. I was the lead in a Shakespeare play.”
“Not Romeo and Juliet I hope?”
“No, one of his tragedies.”
He hesitated. “Were you any good?”
“I was told my performance was enchanting, but that mostly came from men so I don’t put much stock in it.” Kitty had no idea from his expression if Henry was upset. “Patrick told me I was good, but I can’t trust that either.”
“Patrick was also an actor?”
“Yes. He was my mentor.”
“Was he your lover?”
Kitty gasped. “Of course not! He is like a father to me.”
Henry shrugged. “Christopher implied that you had lovers in your past.”
“I did, but not Patrick.” Kitty swallowed the lump in her throat. “Christopher was my only lover. He met me when I was
young and naïve. He seduced me and then left me stranded with no money and no dignity.”
Kitty felt the surge of tears but fought them back. She wouldn’t be able to continue telling him the sad story of her life if she burst into tears.
“Patrick and his troupe were passing through the inn at the same time. He heard me crying in my room and was able to guess what happened. He paid my bill with the innkeeper and offered to take me with them.”
“He saved you.”
“Yes, although some people might argue he ruined me as well. Becoming an actress meant I could never be decent again.”
Henry was silent, sitting there and staring at her. After a few moments it became unbearable.
“Will you please say something?”
“I should have thrashed Christopher while I had the chance. It will be much harder to get ahold of him now.”
Kitty felt a rush of relief that Henry wasn’t riling at her and condemning her for her past behavior.
“Everything he said tonight was true. I did give away my virtue before I was married and I did spend my youth walking the stage. I wasn’t raised properly and I have never been a real lady.”
Now the tears were slipping down her cheeks without her control. If he had been angry with her she might have been able to stay rock hard, but under the tenderness she saw in his eyes she crumbled. Quickly, Henry had opened his arms and she went to him, her body enveloped by his.
“You are the most wonderful lady I have ever met.” He whispered in her ear, “I will never let anyone accuse you of anything different.”
She wanted to tell him that he didn’t need to do that. That once she won the tournament she and Patrick were going to disappear. They would leave London and society, so the rumors wouldn’t matter. She opened her mouth to speak, but he swooped in and kissed her fiercely. That made all thoughts vanish from her mind. She became soft and pliable in his arms.
“Stay with me, Kitty.” Henry mumbled against her lips as he pulled her into the bed with him. “Stay tonight with me.”
He could have asked her to stay forever and she would have said yes. The passion she felt for him built inside her until she could barely breathe. The clothes on her skin felt restrictive, so she clawed at them. He helped her remove them much more skillfully than she could have done alone. Then they both worked to make him as bare as she was. Skin to skin, the two of them were ravished with need.
The weight of his body on top of her wasn’t unpleasant. Looking up, she saw a wide grin on his face before he kissed her senseless. There was no time to think about what was happening, only to feel the sensations of his hands touching her body all over. Then the sweet pressure of him entering her and the way he body stretched to accommodate him. It made her gasp and that caused him to still.
“Did I hurt you?” Henry looked confused and concerned.
“No. It’s just been a long time.” She leaned up to nibble on his ear and heard him groan. “Don’t stop. Please don’t.”
His arms moved beneath her, grabbing her shoulders from beneath, locking her in under him. His thrusts were hard and fast, but satisfying. Each one touched her in the right spot, making her moan into his ear. She didn’t remember making love being like this, bringing her such tension. It felt good, but she knew there was something better within reach.
“Are you close?” Henry asked, his voice raw against her neck.
“Close to what?”
He chuckled, then slipped a hand between their bodies and touching her where she ached the most. He matched his hand to the strokes of his body and suddenly she broke apart in the most delicious way. This was not part of what she remembered. It left her dazed and panting but tingling in every inch.
“Was that your first release?” Henry asked, pulling her close to him as he rolled over.
She couldn’t find the words to speak, so she nodded against his chest.
“Your husband must not have been an attentive lover.”
Kitty sighed. “He was a wonderful husband, but had no interest in sharing my bed. There was no reason for us to have children and he knew about my unpleasant past.”
“It was his loss. I don’t think old age would keep me from a wife as beautiful as you.”
“His interests were elsewhere.”
“Another woman.”
“Not exactly.”
Henry pulled away enough to look down at her with concern.
“What kind of interests were they?”
Kitty realized she had said too much and tried to leave the bed, but he held her tightly.
“Kitty, you can tell me.”
It wasn’t her secret to share, but it still weighed on her. It would be a relief to share it with someone she trusted.
“Woolard and Patrick were close.”
Kitty couldn’t bring herself to give more details, but the look on Henry’s face showed she didn’t need to. His eyes softened and he pulled her in tightly. He didn’t say anything else about it, but placed gentle kisses on the top of her head while continuing to hold her. The relief washed over her and for the first time she truly relaxed.