Leena
There were a few things to consider when it came to opening the beast realm door through my parents’ bestiaries. First, we didn’t even know if it was possible. Second, if it was, I’d still have to find their beasts, and that could take time. Time that would eat away at my power, making it more and more difficult for me to remain in the realm. Third, we didn’t even know where the Charmers were. Yazmin had always insisted that Wilheim was behind the disappearance of our kind, but she wasn’t exactly trustworthy. We’d seen her with the Sentinels and Darrien, but that didn’t mean she hadn’t discovered the Charmers on her own elsewhere. While it seemed unlikely, there was no telling until we actually traveled through the realm and exited the other side.
Which brought up a fourth sticking point that Noc couldn’t get over: sound. The obvious, glaring truth that, whenever one of our beasts exited the realm, the sound of the door opening couldn’t be muffled.
“If your parents are being held captive in Wilheim, presumably with guards, it will alert them to your presence immediately,” he said for the fifth time, his hair practically standing on end from how often he’d shoved his fingers through it. “I don’t want you walking into a trap.”
After hours of back-and-forth, only Gaige, Kost, Noc, and I remained in my quarters within the keep. Originally, everyone from last night had gathered here for a light breakfast to discuss a strategy, but with no end in sight, the others had left to meet with Isla and check on our forces. Noc had made it a point to rise early and greet her, just in case our own private predicament took longer than anticipated. He couldn’t be an absent king when our alliance with Rhyne was so new. Isla needed to believe he was as invested as his comrades, but I knew that one quick morning recap would only tide her over for so long.
“There’s no way around it.” Gaige sighed and reclined into his plush armchair. We were seated around a low coffee table littered with empty mugs and plates, the fire across from us on the verge of dying out. No one had moved to replenish the wood.
“I hate this.” Noc let his head fall into his hands.
My heart was heavy as I glanced at my love. I hated to make him worry. But at the same time, this wasn’t something I could walk away from. I had to get to my parents, one way or another.
“So come with me, then,” I urged. I knew he had responsibilities here. He needed to be a more prominent leader with his men, to show Isla that Rhyne’s alliance wasn’t misplaced. Yet, in my very core I knew he wouldn’t be himself if he thought I were in danger. He’d be distracted. Possibly reckless. And that wasn’t the image we wanted to portray, either.
Gaige scraped his fingers along his trimmed beard as he tipped his chin upward. “It could work. Accessing their bestiaries and opening the door can only be done by you, but I don’t recall any restrictions about who can actually pass through said door. Of course, no one has been daft enough to try.”
“Why would that make me daft?” My brows knit together. “Noc has gone to the beast realm with me before.”
“And exited with you the same way you entered.” He leaned forward, bracing his forearms along his knees. “That’s not unheard of. The problem is, this whole theory is simply that—a theory. We don’t know what we’re dealing with. What if you’re able to slip through the door because you’re their daughter, and Noc is left in the realm? No one has ever been trapped there before. We have no idea what could happen to him.”
At that, Kost stilled. “You can’t afford that risk.”
The muscles racing along Noc’s neck tensed. Slowly, he lifted his head. “But I should let her go alone?”
“You are the guild master of Cruor. The rightful king of Lendria. The person waging this gods-forsaken war. If you die or get stuck, what do you think would be the result?” Something sharp and fierce flashed through his eyes. “Forget about Rhyne’s allegiance. Forget about Cruor. Forget about everything all together, because Varek will have gotten what he wanted, and Yazmin, too. She’ll rain fire down on a land that has no means to protect itself. That’s what will happen.”
“But sacrificing the queen of Lendria is more justifiable?” Ice dripped from his words, and he clasped his hands together.
Kost didn’t flinch. “No. I don’t want Leena doing this either, but as she’s the only one who can, I don’t have a choice.”
Tension snapped tight between them, and I slid closer to Noc on the couch we shared. Placing my hands over his, I rubbed a thumb along his bone-white knuckles. “Noc, he’s right.”
He didn’t respond. Only glowered.
Kost sighed and removed his spectacles, pinning them between his forefinger and thumb. “Leena must go. But if she finds her parents there, and they do happen to be imprisoned in Wilheim’s castle or nearby, she should leave them there for the time being.”
“What?” My voice rose an octave. Now it was my turn to share the anger Noc felt. Kost had been right about him staying behind, but this was a step too far. “I’m not leaving them in some cell.”
Kost replaced his lenses. “Only for a short while. I’ve been thinking on what…Gaige said last night.” He didn’t look at the Charmer seated across from him, but tripped over his name just the same. “If this theory proves true and they are being held in the capital, Yazmin has handed us an incredible advantage. A back door into enemy territory.
“And you should take someone with you now, so we can find out if it’s possible for more to accompany you in the future.” His green eyes hammered deep into my skull, and a tingling sensation rushed over my limbs. He was asking me to leave my parents in Wilheim’s clutches because it would be advantageous for us in the coming war. We’d theoretically have a way to funnel at least a small, elite troop of fighters right into the castle. There was merit in his approach, and judging by the way he implored me to consider the idea with his weighted gaze, he knew it. He always knew it. But to leave my parents behind when they’d be within my reach? Could I even do that?
I glanced at Noc, but his anger had softened into something much worse—remorse. Agony. Distress. All of it plain as day on his face. He couldn’t come with me. And he couldn’t deny Kost’s logic.
The world swam out of focus as my chest tightened. “And if Yazmin kills them before we can attack?”
At that, Kost averted his eyes. “It’s a risk. War is full of them.”
“Leena.” Gaige’s tone was soft. “We’re running out of time.” It was all he could muster, but it was enough to prove that he agreed with Kost. Toying with Okean’s key around his neck, he looked away.
“This is a sacrifice I’m afraid you’ll have to make. I don’t envy you.” Kost kept his voice low. Apologetic. I hated it. “Your parents, or the possibility to turn the tide of war? To save everyone else?”
“But saving them would add numbers to our forces. Yazmin wouldn’t be able convince them to join her side,” I tried, gaze frantically bouncing between Gaige, Kost, and Noc. None of them met my stare.
“We don’t know how many there are,” Kost finally said, “let alone what kind of state they’re in.”
“But what about Yazmin?” I grasped at any argument I could, hoping one would be sound enough for us to rescue my parents instead of leaving them behind. “If we rescue the Charmers, then she’ll have no reason to raise Ocnolog. That’s why she’s doing this, right? We can show her that everyone is safe. We can avoid war altogether.”
Gaige let out a shaky breath before raising his chin to look at me. “Leena. You don’t believe that. You can’t. Do you really think she’d stop now? After everything she’s done?”
No. But I didn’t want to say it out loud and give merit to his reasoning. Apparently, my silence was enough, though, and he shook his head.
“Yazmin has everything she needs to raise Ocnolog. The captive Charmers might be the reason she went down this path in the beginning, but they’re not why she’s still on it. Otherwise, she would’ve returned with them already.”
“She wants to see the kingdom burn, Leena.” Noc threaded his fingers with mine. “We need a way to stop her before that happens. If we can sneak into the castle without her or Varek knowing, then we have a chance to end this.”
I wanted to take his logic and toss it out the window. Let it crash with the falls and be buried under the weight of the water. Wrapping my arms around my stomach, I stared at the floor and fought back tears. Why? Why did it have to come to this? One life shouldn’t be more important than another. But if I picked saving my parents and the captive Charmers over my people—everyone who inhabited Lendria—that’s exactly what I’d be doing. Placing value on their existence over an entire country full of innocent people. Only a ruler would ever face such a predicament.
“This is too hard,” I said, my voice breaking.
Noc moved then, wrapping me in a hug and tucking my head against his chest. The collar of his tunic caught my tears as he ran a loving hand down my back. “I’m sorry.”
I allowed myself one minute. One minute to hold Noc and pretend that I could just be Leena. That I was just a girl who only had a few people in her world to worry about—not the queen of Lendria or the Crown of the Council. Not someone forced to make impossible decisions that chafed no matter what direction I chose.
But once that minute was up, I pushed away from my love and straightened my back. Wiped away tears and set my chin high. I wouldn’t let Yazmin win. I wouldn’t let her break me. The only way to save my parents, and my people, was to push forward—regardless of how difficult the path before me was.
“Okay. I’ll find one of my parents’ beasts, have them open the door, and then we’ll finally know where they are and what we’re dealing with.”
“And I’ll go with you.” Kost stood and brushed his hands along his vest. “Noc isn’t expendable, but I am. And I can protect you with my life, if need be. Lendria won’t go without her queen.”
“Expendable,” Gaige whispered in an indignant huff. “You’re a prick, you know that?”
“It’s my decision,” Kost responded a little too forcefully. He shot Noc a quick look. “Assuming it’s all right with you.”
“None of this is all right with me.” He clenched his jaw tight. “We can send someone else.”
“There’s a logical thought,” Gaige muttered.
Kost barely deigned him a look before returning his attention to Noc. “And who would that be?”
Noc’s answer was resolute. “We’ll find a volunteer.”
“I’m volunteering,” Kost said. “I have knowledge of Wilheim. I have a connection with the beast realm, thanks to Felicks. Maybe that will help, maybe it won’t, but I’m not sure it’s a risk we should take.”
Gaige tossed his hands to the ceiling as he stood. “This is ridiculous. Cruor can’t afford to lose you. I…” He let his voice trail off, biting his lip and forming fists by his sides. “You’re second-in-command. Your presence is needed here.”
Kost didn’t miss a beat. “As a Council member who just abandoned their duties for several days, I’m not sure you have grounds to argue that. We won’t be gone for nearly as long.”
“But you could die!” Gaige barked.
“And you couldn’t have?” Kost rounded on him, anger finally cracking his collected facade. Tendons along his neck jumped as he spoke. “We had no way of knowing that you were okay. This isn’t any different.”
Tension crackled around them, neither of them willing to say anything more. Pushing off the couch, I stood between them and placed a gentle hand on their arms. “Take a breath. Both of you.”
Staring at Gaige, Noc stood and let out a forceful sigh. “I don’t like this any more than you do.” His jaw tightened as he swallowed thickly. “I don’t know what I would do if I lost either one of you. Let alone both of you.”
The stiffness in Kost’s frame finally deflated, and he gave Noc a long look. “I wouldn’t suggest this if I didn’t think it was absolutely necessary. We’ll be careful. We will return.”
Noc dropped his head into his hands. Several minutes passed, and then he dragged his fingers down his face. “If I’m going to ask you to make impossible decisions, I’ll have to do the same.”
“Well, now that that’s sorted, I’ll be off.” Gaige practically kicked his chair into the wall as he moved toward the door. “Kaori asked to see me when we were done.”
“Promise you won’t disappear again?” I couldn’t keep up with his erratic emotions, but his sudden show of displeasure worried me. Was this all it had taken for him to walk away before? I couldn’t stand to leave with Kost—risk losing him—if it meant losing Gaige, too, in the process. We needed him. Not just Kost, but all of us. He’d become part of our family, and I’d already lost him once, thanks to Yazmin’s attack. Twice, if we counted his disappearance. I wouldn’t do it again. Couldn’t do it again.
“Everyone seems to be forgetting that I found my way back.” His steel-blue glare targeted Kost, who held Gaige’s gaze for a moment before he lowered his head, hiding a grimace. Gaige studied him for what felt like ages before finally glancing my way. “But I’m not going anywhere. I look forward to your return.”
With that, he stormed out the double doors of my room and into the halls of the keep. Stiff as a board, Kost ignored his exit, only allowing the smallest sounds of displeasure to slip between his pursed lips. Noc stood slowly, the entire weight of the world—and then some—on his shoulders.
Moving to my side, he pulled me into a tight hug, then angled my chin upward so he could slant his lips over mine. I never wanted to break that kiss. I had no idea what I’d be walking into. If I’d see him again. And no doubt he felt that way, too, because there was a hint of desperation in his embrace. Slowly, as if he couldn’t bear to say goodbye, he pulled away. “Please, be safe.”
“We will. I promise.”
Reaching around me, Noc tugged Kost toward him and wrapped him in a hug. “Nothing happens to either of you. Understood?”
Emotion filled Kost’s eyes, and he nodded into Noc’s shoulder. “Understood.”
After Noc released him, I extended my hand toward Kost as excitement and despair warred with each other in my mind. We were going to see my parents. My parents. But I’d have to leave them there. We didn’t know if Kost would make it. We didn’t know if I’d be walking right into a guard-filled prison. We knew so little, and yet I couldn’t deny the tingling in my fingers.
“Shall we?”
“It’s now or never.” He took my hand, and I activated my power. The tree on the back of my hand bloomed to life, branches and vines racing up my forearm to wrap around my neck and frame my temple. As I wrenched open the beast realm door, the last thing I saw before the world was wiped away in a rosewood glow was the ice blue of Noc’s desperate gaze.