The test results showed what we already knew: Clara was pregnant. They also confirmed she was further along than we thought. Once the baby was born, I was going to have to institute monthly pregnancy tests. This was the second surprise baby we’d been blessed with, and, in the future, I wanted to worship for every second of her pregnancy. I’d already lost out on three months. She had enough to worry about without keeping track of her cycle.
Clara looked near the point of collapse as I led her inside the palace an hour later. The day’s events had caught up with us rapidly. As soon as we reached our private quarters, I lifted her into my arms. She curled into me, her eyes drooping even as she tried to stay awake. When we reached our bedroom, she jolted fully awake.
“Elizabeth.” The one word explanation was enough. I wanted my wife to rest, but we both needed to see our daughter.
Turning, I took the few steps to the nursery and placed Clara carefully on her feet. She swayed a little, but caught herself on the door. Elizabeth had only recently moved full-time to her own bedroom, a transition we’d found difficult. With a new baby coming and a tired mum-to-be, it had been a necessity. I wondered if that new arrangement would last.
We entered quietly, afraid to disturb a nap. The curtains were drawn, filtering the fading afternoon light. It fell across the room, not casting shadows, but rather making the delicate furniture and creamy fabrics glow. In the middle of the ethereal space, a tea party was taking place.
Penny, the part-time nanny, scrambled to her feet, abandoning the tea party she was having with Elizabeth. Her red hair was pulled back in a tight knot, revealing that her fair skin was red and splotchy.
“You’re back! No one would tell me anything,” Penny kept her voice low as she glanced over her shoulder repeatedly to check on her charge.
“Did she hear anything?” Clara had a frantic edge to her, even after our life-affirming interlude. She had soothed me, but I’d failed to give her the same comfort.
“No. I’ve kept her busy all day.”
I didn’t bother reminding my wife Elizabeth was too young to understand even if she did hear.
Elizabeth toddled over and Clara scooped her up, showering her with kisses. Then she paused to examine her fingers and toes like she had discovered a tiny miracle. Elizabeth clung to her mother. I guessed it would be a long time before our daughter went on any public outings. If only her mother could be so easily ruled.
Clara wasn’t a child and I couldn’t keep her here, but watching her with our daughter made me realize that, as much as I didn’t want to hurt them, I would do anything to keep them safe—even if they hated me for it.
A call buzzed in my pocket. “Excuse me.” I silenced it and took a step towards the hall. “When I come back, you’re both taking a nap.”
My mobile had been ringing for the last few hours. I hadn’t bothered to answer it since I’d found Clara. She had been more important, but I couldn’t ignore the outside world forever, especially since the outside world kept intruding in our private lives.
I was relieved to discover it was Edward. I hoped it was a coincidence that he was calling, but I had little hope that even honeymoon bliss could keep news of this magnitude quiet.
“I’ve been calling you for hours!”
So much for letting him have his honeymoon. I decided to bypass the whole update and give him the highlights. “Everything’s fine. She’s fine.”
I nearly told him the baby was too before I remembered that he didn’t know about that yet.
“She’s fine?” His voice peaked on the final word like I’d lost my mind. In all fairness, I probably had.
I pinched the bridge of my nose. I supposed I deserved my own lecture after starting in on Clara. “Hang on, how did you find out?”
In my head, I said a hopeless prayer that Norris or a security team member had called him.
“It’s all over the news.” He was shouting now and I suspected it had nothing to do with trying to be heard from the Seychelles.
I’d dropped the ball once again. I should have called him before he’d heard it that way. It seemed my inability to protect my family was matched only by my miscommunication with them. “The news is probably exaggerating.”
“I don’t care if someone lit a match near her,” Edward exploded. “I want to hear about it from you.”
“You will. I wasn’t thinking. Listen”—I glanced up and down the hall to make certain no one could overhear us—“can you come home? I need your help.”
There was a pause, which lasted long enough for me to regret my request. He’d just gotten married. The last thing he wanted was to come home and help me run the country.
“We’ll be there,” he said at last. He hung up without saying goodbye.
It took a concerted effort to coax Clara from the nursery. Finally, with Penny’s help, Elizabeth was in her crib and I’d taken Clara to bed. She climbed in with her clothes on, mumbling sleepily as I began to undress her.
“Come on, Poppet.” I tugged the dress over her head. Throwing it on the ground, I rolled off a stocking. Without thinking, my lips went to the creamy skin it revealed. Clara sighed as I slowly repeated the action with the other, trailing kisses down her leg.
When I finally tore myself away, she reached out, her languid eyes widening. “I don’t want to fall asleep.”
I understood what she meant. Dreams awaited her on the other side of closing her eyes. I also knew that she couldn’t avoid nightmares forever. Once, I had suffered from night terrors, reliving the car accident that claimed my sister’s life. The dreams had faded when I’d fallen for Clara and she had come to my bed. Tonight, I would protect her from the horrors she’d seen.
“Let me help you,” I suggested. I stayed where she could see me, taking off my clothes quickly. Clara’s gaze didn’t stray, it saw through the mask of strength I’d worn all day. It laid me bare. Only she could see what I so carefully hid from everyone else. My scars. My fears. I could only face them—face myself—with the strength she gave me.
Now I needed to take that strength. Take her. But not tonight. Not after what she’d experienced. Still, we needed more than quick and raw. Taking her at the hospital had held me, but I realized now that what we both needed was skin on skin.
“Alexander,” she began as my body lowered over hers, “I know that you think I need”—
“Not now,” I said gently, stopping her mouth with a kiss. There would be fighting later. We both knew that. It was inevitable. Right now, though, we needed this. My hand slipped under her back and unhooked her bra. She shimmied in my embrace, until it was gone and there was nothing between us.
I began a slow descent, pausing to pay homage to my favorite spots: the freckles on her shoulders, the hollow of her collar bone. When my mouth closed over her nipple, I sucked it gently between my teeth, relishing the satin-soft skin and her breathy cry. My tongue traced a line down until I reached the apex of her thighs. My arms curved around her hips, my hands pressing her legs open. Clara flowered before me and I drank in her perfume before my tongue found a new, more delicate spot to tease.
Her hands fisted in the sheets as her body arched in greeting. I wanted to stay here and let the world fade away. Drive her wild with my mouth and make her come again and again. More than that, though, I needed to feel her body clench possessively on my cock once more. She was soft and wet and I needed to bury myself there and watch her fall apart.
There was a moan of protest when I pulled away, her hips writhing at the loss of contact. When I replaced my mouth with the crown of my cock, she opened in welcome. Entering her felt like coming home. I drew her body against mine and our lips met in deep, hungry kisses, our teeth and tongues nipping and sucking. I wanted to consume her, make her such a part of me that we were never separate. Her fingers found the scars I kept from everyone but her and lingered there.
We claimed each other with thrusts and moans, giving and taking, until there was no her. No me. Only us.
She met me at the first shattering pulse of my cock, her channel rippling over me as she melted in waves in my arms. We rolled in a sweaty heap onto our sides, not breaking contact.
Clara’s eyes were heavier and if she minded that I’d fucked her to sleep, she didn’t show it. I whispered that she was safe and loved and home until her breathing slowed to a soft, regular rhythm.
I didn’t want to leave her. It felt like ripping my heart out to untangle my body from hers, but there were matters to attend to, especially if I was going to see that she was safe. I dressed quickly and quietly, planted a kiss on her forehead, and hoped I’d chased the nightmares away.
Leaving our bedroom, I blinked against the bright lights of the hallway. It was early evening, the world outside had fallen to the early night of winter, but the household and the offices were still running.
No one questioned where I had been when I strode into my office and found Norris, Brexton, and a few others waiting there. Under normal circumstances, Brex might make a few insinuations about what I’d been up to. He might wink. Today, he couldn’t muster so much as a smile. That made two of us.
“Sir, I’m sorry,” he began instead. “I went—”
“You left her,” I cut him off. “I don’t need an explanation. Norris, I want to speak with you privately.”
The other men left the room without protest. Brex followed without a word. I recognized the self-loathing written across his face. I knew the feeling well.
When they were gone, Norris spoke first. “It’s not his fault. Clara refused to leave. Georgia had the Queen’s safety in hand.”
“It was not her responsibility,” I roared. My fist slammed into the oak desktop. I didn’t even remember taking my seat behind the desk. Norris took the chair opposite, a well-worn expression of patience taking over his features. There were times when he looked so much like my father—or what my father might have looked like if he’d had a soul. This was one of those times.
“It was mine,” Norris said after a moment. “The blame lies with me.”
“Brex was with her.”
“Because I allowed him to take my place. If you’re going to blame someone for following Clara’s wishes, the blame belongs on me.” Norris folded his hands in his lap as if awaiting his punishment.
“Or maybe Clara,” I said darkly.
His eyebrows lifted. “That would be an ill-advised stance to take. Particularly if you want to touch her again. I assume you didn’t insinuate that this evening.”
We both knew that I couldn’t keep my hands off her. Norris was the best at pretending not to notice rumpled clothes and mismatched buttons and freshly yanked hair, but he wasn’t stupid. He also knew me well enough to know why I’d spent the afternoon in bed with my wife. It was something we’d never had to discuss. He just seemed to understand.
My anger ebbed into a dull frustration. He had a point, and we both knew it. It wasn’t Brexton’s fault. It wasn’t Norris’s. Or Clara’s. “It’s my fault.”
“There was no way to know what would happen. You can’t spend your life expecting the worst,” he said. “And neither of you can spend your marriage making power plays.”
He misunderstood me. I wasn’t to blame for not being there or for fighting with her over her security. I was to blame for not overruling her when I knew what was best for her safety. “But I have to plan for it. She’s not going to like it, Norris. But we have to increase security or...”
“You can’t lock her away,” he said, guessing what I was thinking. “Perhaps a dedicated team chosen by yourself and your wife would help to ease her into an increased security presence.”
“I need you overseeing the entire family’s security,” I mulled aloud. “I’ll want you to attend any events she has scheduled, but day to day, I need you.”
“Even I can’t be in two places at once,” he said dryly.
“Georgia got her out of there. Perhaps—”
“She’s not going to like that.” There was warning in his voice.
I was well past caring. I would do anything to keep her safe. “I’d hire the devil himself to keep her safe. She’ll get used to it.”
He didn’t argue with me. He would later. Clara would, too. We had all known this was coming. We’d never defeated the darkness that plagued this family. It had only retreated for a moment. Now it was sweeping towards us—all of us.
“And the rest of the family?” he asked.
“Edward is coming home. I’ll brief him, but there’s no need to wait. I want dedicated security on each of them. All hours. People we trust explicitly.”
Norris’s jaw clenched as if it was hard to hold back his opinion. “The usual family then?”
“No,” I said with a shake of my head, choosing my words with a meaning only he could understand. “All of my family—seen and unseen.”