I’d been asked to do strange things since I’d become a Royal, but this was the strangest yet. I stared at the red silk scarf that Henry had handed me a few moments ago. “What am I supposed to do with this, exactly?”
“Have you ever seen a joust reenactment?” he asked.
“In a movie.” I couldn’t see what it had to do with racing. I turned it over in my hand, looking for a clue.
“At past games, a royal would grant his favor to certain competitors. It was Albert’s idea—a nod to jousting.”
“So, if Alexander were hosting, he’d be giving Anders the scarf?” I would pay to see that. It would be a touching moment: Alexander acting superior, and Anders glaring at him.
“I believe the honor would still fall to you,” Henry said dryly. “My mother performed the duty for years.”
“Another reason for your mother to hate me.” I’d fantasized the games might win her over, but I’d been wrong. Instead of becoming her champion and swaying Alexander to hold the event, I’d become her replacement.
“My mother doesn’t…” Henry paused as though he thought better of lying and switched tactics. “It is the Queen’s favor—a tradition—and you are the queen.”
“It’s medieval,” I muttered. I was accustomed to being in front of people—I lived my life in front of the world now. But this was different than giving a speech or presenting an award. Something felt too personal. After my talk with Georgia, it felt like sending Anders mixed signals, something I definitely didn’t want to do. I couldn’t imagine what Alexander would think if he watched the opening ceremonies. I hoped he remembered the tradition better than I did.
“Does it have to be Anders?” A different racer would be a better—safer—choice.
“He is the favorite and I think the press will eat it up,” Henry said.
“The press will eat me up.” It had been one thing for Mary, the Queen Mother, to perform the ritual. I suspected my participation might be viewed in an entirely different light. I wrapped the scarf around my wrist and sucked in a deep breath. “Let’s get this over with.”
I focused on the fact that tonight the stands would be full of children. That’s why we were doing this. Watching the Queen gift a token to the local hero was going to have a huge impact on them. That’s what this was about. The ticket sales and sponsorships we received would go to local schools and health initiatives. At each city we visited over the course of the next three months, kids would have a chance to see their heroes in action. They’d see the men and women they looked up to giving back to their communities. I hadn’t always seen eye-to-eye with Albert, but it was a beautiful legacy to leave.
“I thought Alexander might join us,” Henry said under his breath as we made our way toward the side of the track for the scarf presentation.
The night was cold and I was glad Edward had insisted I bring along a wool dress coat for warmth and camouflage. I hadn’t thought I would need many dressy clothes, but I’d been expected to look the part of the proper English queen this evening. Under the neatly tailored navy coat I had on a boring house dress that wouldn’t be winning me any style points.
“I wish he could,” I said. I was angry with my husband, but I was beginning to miss him. Being in love had a way of undermining a girl’s resistance.
Henry nodded thoughtfully, tucking his Burberry scarf tightly under his collar to ward off the evening wind. “He must have been held up in London. I know he missed the last games while he was away.”
“He wanted to come,” I lied. It felt like I was doing that more and more often for him, making excuses for his absence. Being away at war was a good reason for missing last time, this time he was simply avoiding it. “He couldn’t be away.”
“It was a lovely gesture to do this on his birthday. I’m sure that will make it easier for him.”
My stomach twisted into a knot, but I smiled quickly. It was supposed to be a nice gesture. Alexander had ruined it. I hadn’t imagined he wouldn’t come, especially when I’d given him the dates. He had looked at them and said nothing.
“It feels like we’re bridging the old and the new,” I said.
“Yes, it does,” Henry said. “Alexander’s birthday to start and my brother’s birthday to end the ceremonies.”
That’s what I thought. It was carefully planned. I’d suggested the idea when we’d first looked at the schedule. Originally, Mary had wanted to start the games in March. I’d argued it would be a signal of our family’s unity to begin on Alexander’s birthday, February 26, and end on Albert’s, the 25th of May.
“Will your mother be arriving soon?” Mary had been suspiciously absent the past week, which I assumed was an effort to avoid me. In London, she’d come to every meeting. She’d shown no qualms about making her opinion known.
Henry shook his head, dropping his voice to keep his words between us. “The doctor doesn’t think this atmosphere would be good for her heart and the travel isn’t ideal. I’m glad she’s back in London where specialists are available. She’s always more interested in the horses anyway. She wishes you all the best, though.”
One of those statements was a lie, but it did no good to call him out on it. Henry was trying to be pleasant, which was more than his mother had ever done for me. “At least the equestrian events take place closer to London. So, do I give this to Anders as soon as I see him?”
The closer we came to the actual event, the more nervous I became. I didn’t want to admit it, but I wanted to impress those watching. For every person who had accepted and blessed me as their Queen, it felt like there were two who saw me as some kind of Royal Yoko Ono.
“Not quite. Your part comes after the ceremonial lap,” Henry explained. “It signifies that we come here in the spirit of brotherhood.”
“And tomorrow we come in the spirit of kicking each other’s asses?” I clapped my hand over my mouth, horrified I’d let that slip. I backtracked quickly. “Sorry. The philosophy behind competitive sports has always eluded me.”
“You really are a breath of fresh air.” He waved off my apology with a smile. “Most of my family acts like they have a scepter stuck up their arse.”
“Including Alexander?”
“You can’t blame a king for being on edge,” Henry said wisely, “especially given how young he is. I do wish you two would have had more time before you had to tackle this responsibility.”
That made two of us. But there was no use in wishing. I could only focus on what we did have—a lifetime together. That was all Alexander had ever promised me, and all I could ever want.
Engines roared in response to a marker, and the lap started. The cars zoomed around the track at breakneck speed. It might have been thrilling if my mind wasn’t elsewhere. This was what I wanted—what I’d worked for—but part of me wished I was back in London. It was the part of me that had known Alexander wouldn’t come.
“They’re ready for us.” Henry called my attention back to the present. The drivers had returned. Most had climbed out of their cars, depositing their helmets in their seats and were making their way toward us. They slapped each other on the back, laughed, waved—they were having so much fun.
The stands were entirely full, roars of applause deafened me as I stepped onto the track. Anders reached us, his hair mussed from his helmet, wearing a white track suit emblazoned with a bunch of sponsors. He looked like a walking advertisement. He seemed to know that because a goofy grin had replaced his usual smirk. We made our way over to him and I realized he looked a little shaky. I placed a hand over the mic pinned to my coat. It would be turning on any moment.
“Are you shy?” I asked. Maybe putting him in the spotlight had been the wrong call.
“Not if I can help it,” he said a bit too smoothly to be believed. His hands were trembling.
Still, there was no mistaking the boyish gleam in his eyes. I wondered what it must be like for him to be here, fulfilling his dream. I had never wanted fame nor fortune. I’d stumbled into this life by accident. He’d worked for this. A lump formed in my throat, a strangely maternal pride coming over me. I really was pregnant. Everything seemed to be sending me into mom mode. I’d probably cry during every race, too.
Next to me, Anders gave me a searching look, his hand landing lightly on my arm. I gave him a reassuring smile. Later, when I wasn’t wearing a microphone, I would confess that my hormones were getting the better of me and turning me into a blubbering mother hen.
The ceremony went off without a hitch, even if I felt a bit silly tossing him my scarf. He caught it easily and tied it around his arm. Camera flashes went off all around us as we waved obligingly. At least I only had to do this bit once.
“Are you hungry?” Anders asked as we all made our way to the paddock. “Some of the guys are going out for a bite. We thought we could show you a good time. I mean, not too good of a time.” He gestured to the bump visible under my coat. “I don’t want to get you in trouble.”
“I think I already got myself in trouble.” I laughed as I patted the proof. “That’s really sweet, but…”
“But she has other plans,” a rough voice broke in.
My heart leapt, already knowing what I would find when I turned. Alexander was dressed down in a pitiful attempt to blend in, but there was no mistaking him. Even in a worn, leather jacket, hands shoved in his jeans, he was a king. My body responded to his presence, drawing me toward him. I locked my knees in place and tried to think. But I didn’t have to concentrate for long. Alexander wasn’t looking at me. His burning gaze was directed at Anders. X took a step around me and held out a hand. It was a friendly gesture, but his shoulders were rigid. He had his guard up. If Anders noticed, he didn’t show it. He took the outstretched hand and shook it as Alexander moved so that his body was between me and Anders. It was a subtle marking of his territory, but one I wasn’t going to ignore.
Pushing past him, I stepped between them. Formal introductions were in order before things got less civilized. “Anders, allow me to introduce you to my husband.”