biting tongues

AMAL EL-MOHTAR

Speak to us in silk, they say,

speak to us in milk,

be pillow-soft, be satin-smooth,

be home-spun sugar sweet.

We part our lips. We breathe our breaths.

We bite our tongues and swallow blood

knot stones into our stomachs, heave

and spit red salt where words should be,

stitch shut our mouths with stubborn thread

to spare our tablecloths.

Such a mess! If you can’t say something nice

if you can’t be honey cinnamon spice

if you can’t be dusky-eyed candy mice

shut the fuck up, you stuck-up bitch

you whore you cunt you slag you witch

where you going dressed like that,

red as meat and us so hungry?

What did you think would happen, huh?

What did you think would happen?

We are told

of wolves in the world, and we but girls.

We are told

of girls in the world, and they but wolves

who cannot help themselves.

We are told

to be girls or wolves,

be eaten or hungry,

but we are never hungry

who make meals of ourselves,

who chew the insides of our cheeks,

bleed into our bellies.

We are told

that to be bold is to be bled,

that red’s what brings the wolves around,

that we’re better off drowned.

They come with axes,

cut us to pull the good girls out.

They leave us with our bloodstone bellies,

our sewn up mouths, our halted breaths,

and a river for a bed.

Until one of us

with sharpest teeth

and shredded mouth

rips silence from our lips

with a battle-cry kiss, and says

we speak as we are

with tongue of snake and hummingbird

of ocean and of earth

of sky and salt and smoke and fire

of gesture, ink, and ringing bells.

We speak as we are

with bodies various as motion

voices of muscle and music and colour

beautiful bloody mouths.

We paint with tumblebroken words

we sing loud with our speaking hands

unmake the bodies shaped for us

and lip to eye to fingertip

we spill our red-mouth stories out

and listen, taste them on the air

with our forked and biting tongues.