She’s not used to the attention…but now Natalie’s the hottie on the beach.
Can she handle the heat?
by Lisa Scott
Micki and Cassidy ran along the shoreline, kicking up a spray of sand and foam. “We just crashed a wedding on the beach!” Micki held up a bouquet of blue flowers.
“Looks like you’ll be next,” I teased.
“The only relationship I’m interested in is a fleeting one—with fries and a hot dog.” Micki tossed the bouquet to Cassidy and ran off toward the concession stand. Cassidy chucked the flowers at me like they were on fire. “Better you than me, girl! I’m too young and hot to get married.” She rummaged around in the cooler for a drink.
After catching the bunch, I admired the blooms. But I couldn’t picture myself walking down the aisle, either. I didn’t even have a boyfriend—although Cassidy was doing her best to change my Facebook relationship status this weekend. I glared over at the pack of hung-over men in the sand next to us and set down the flowers. Nope, no wedding in my immediate future.
A seagull landed to inspect the bouquet, and strutted off arrogantly after discovering I hadn’t tossed aside any food. I wished I could do the same. I’d felt equally duped. Had I known Cassidy was going to invite her boyfriend and all of his hot friends to the beach, I wouldn’t have come. I thought it was going to be a girls’ weekend away from the office. She certainly wasn’t my best friend, but it seemed like a relaxing getaway. I figured I’d read a book, watch the surf, and maybe down a few fruity drinks. She wanted to play beach-blanket-boy-bingo—and there were plenty of players to choose from. Even though she had a boyfriend, the girl flirted like it was a part-time job—with plenty of benefits.
I should’ve known she was up to something when she’d shown up with full makeup, blown-out hair, and a fresh pedicure. We were staying for two nights and she’d brought three suitcases, because who knew what she’d be in the mood to wear? I’d been looking forward to not worrying what I looked like for a few days. To say I underpacked was an understatement.
“Six pair of sandals is hardly excessive,” she’d told me while unpacking. “What if I lost a pair on the beach at night having crazy sex with Connor?” She giggled. “But I suppose someone with your… history wouldn’t know about the importance of dressing cute.”
Truly, the two of us wouldn’t be hanging out if not for our side-by-side cubicles—and the fact that I’d moved to town two years earlier and hadn’t made many friends.
I dug my toes in the sand and enjoyed the warm sun on my skin after years of hiding it under long pants and skirts. I didn’t mind spending time by myself. I found me to be quite good company.
A tall, blond guy wandered over from the group of guys next to us. “Who’s your friend?” he asked Cassidy.
She twisted off the cap of her wine cooler. “This is Natalie from the office. You’ve met before. Natalie, remember Jared from Carlton Services?”
I looked up at him, shading my eyes. “Oh, yes. Nice to see you again.”
“I don’t think we’ve met.” His eyes roamed over me.
My throat tightened and I regretted not wearing a baggy t-shirt over my bathing suit, even though it was a modest one-piece. “It’s been a while.”
Cassidy pointed her wine cooler at him and laughed. “That’s right. You wouldn’t recognize her, of course. Natalie lost tons of weight since last summer, like, one hundred pounds.” She readjusted the sunglasses holding back her hair and shrugged. “She’s hot now.”
Cassidy liked to announce this news to anyone who would listen, as if she had something to do with it. Or maybe she just liked to make sure people knew her “hot” friend hadn’t always looked this way. It was her version of an asterisk next to any compliment that came my way.
I smiled, wishing I had the nerve to add, “I’m also healthier and more energetic!” But no one really gave a flying leap about those things. Those were girl add-ons no one needed, like an extra large cup holder in the back seat. Appearances—that’s all that seemed to matter.
Jared’s eyes swept over me, as if to double-check that I looked as good as he first thought after hearing that news. Then he stepped back, like maybe I wasn’t quite over my case of “fatness” yet. “You look really good.” He returned to his buddies and cracked open a beer. Two of them were wearing orange drinking hats, with the cans right on their heads, so I wasn’t too upset by his quick departure.
Cassidy swatted me with her magazine. “You have to be more friendly if you’re ever going to get together with anyone. I’m trying to help you, here.”
“I don’t want your help.” I looped my hands around my knees. “And besides, I’m not used to the attention.” I rested my cheek against my knees and closed my eyes, listening to the surf. I’d spent a lifetime ducking my head, hiding my thighs, and keeping my mouth shut. Not around food, of course. That had always been the problem. Food seemed to make everything better—even the good times.
But now everything was different and I didn’t have the flirty comebacks or coy smiles to keep up. How was I suddenly supposed to be this social butterfly, fluttering her wings seductively, when I’d been curled up in my cozy cocoon for years? The closest I’d ever come to flirty banter with a guy was “Pass the ketchup, darlin’.”
Micki wandered back from the concession stand with two hot dogs and a plate of fries. “Want one?”
Cassidy wrinkled her nose and I held up one hand like a traffic cop signaling stop. “No, thanks.” I’d joined an online weight loss support group the year before and logged in every day. It took thirteen months to lose one hundred and eight pounds. I wouldn’t be gaining an ounce back. The daily support of friends online helped me stick to it.
Micki shrugged. “More for me.” Little did she know our online group had a bounty out for eat-whatever-I-want-but-never-gain girls like her. Well, not officially anyway, but in theory.
Cassidy flipped open her Cosmo and leafed through the pages. “Connor brought some hot friends, didn’t he?” She was busy checking out her boyfriend’s buddies while he was off swimming. But why? Connor was boyfriend perfection. She didn’t know how lucky she was.
I pressed my mouth shut.
“What?” she asked. “You’re not interested in any of them? Then who is your type?”
Your guy, I thought. And it wasn’t just because he was good looking. I’d had the chance to chat with him at a few parties. He was funny and kind, and really listened to people when he talked to them. Unlike Cassidy, who always scanned the room for someone more interesting. Connor had a wonderful smile and kind eyes and told the best stories. If I ever got drunk, I might get brave enough to ask him why the hell he was with someone like her. But I hadn’t been drunk since sophomore year of college, so that wasn’t likely to happen.
“Ease up there, Cupid,” Micki told Cassidy.
Cassidy crossed her arms. “I’m just trying to help. Natalie hasn’t had a ton of dating experience because she’s always been big. I’m trying to help her navigate the waters. That’s what friends do.” Her lips curled into a satisfied smile.
“I’ll be fine,” I told her. I lifted my chin, enjoying the warm, salty gust off the ocean.
Cassidy blinked at me, accusingly. “Then why don’t you have a boyfriend?” With her long, wavy blond hair, size-two body, and big, bright blue eyes, Cassidy’d probably never had a moment of self-doubt in her life.
I was still working on finding my first moment of self-confidence, new body or not. But I was getting there. I’d been on a few dates over the last three months. Nobody special, but still, I was getting my feet wet. I raised my chin. “I just haven’t met anyone interesting.” Truth was, I was scared of getting hurt. It hadn’t been a problem before, when no one was interested. Now, I didn’t know how to handle the possibility. It just seemed easier not to risk it.
Cassidy jerked her thumb toward the guys next to us. “We’ve got four interesting guys right here who are spending the night one floor up in our condo. It’s your weekend to make a move, Natalie.”
I lay back and pulled my hat over my eyes, but I could still see through the loose weave of the straw. “Try your magic on Micki.”
Cassidy sighed. “Micki thinks she’s too good for everyone.”
“I am.” She popped the last of her hotdog in her mouth and brushed off her hands. Micki wasn’t one to play the field. She was a serial monogamist who was in between men. When she found someone she liked, it was instant, unshakeable love. For a year or so, anyway.
Cassidy ignored her, leaned forward, and waved. “Hi, honey!”
Connor walked up from the surf, shaking out his hair.
I sat up. This, I didn’t want to miss.
“Isn’t he hot?” Cassidy asked with a sigh.
“Of course. You wouldn’t settle for anything less,” Micki said.
I held my breath as he came toward us. I’d heard all about how Cassidy met Connor two months ago at a conference. I got the run down on their first date, when he’d shown up with orchids instead of the predictable roses. She’d seen roses a few too many times to be impressed. He was gorgeous, polite, and nice. And if he made manager? Well, then he might be a marriage contender.
If someone better didn’t show up first, I thought. I sighed, watching him jog up to us.
“Are you finally done swimming?” Cassidy asked.
“Yep. I figure that was a mile.”
Cassidy rolled her eyes. “People don’t come to the beach to swim, Connor.”
He laughed. It was a gorgeous, deep laugh that sent my insides squirming. “Actually, some people do,” he said.
“He gets really cranky if he doesn’t work out,” she said, giggling. “Isn’t he crazy? Crazy gorgeous!”
Connor plopped down on the towel in between Cassidy and me. Droplets of water sprayed my skin. I shivered, but I wasn’t cold.
Jared wandered over from the boy camp. “Dude, happy hour up at The Shoreside. We’re heading over there now.”
“Me, too!” Cassidy said, popping up, brushing sand off her butt. “Come on, Connor.”
He shook his head. “I’d probably hurl if I drank a beer right now. I need to rest.”
“Micki? Natalie? You guys coming?”
“Who do you think put the “hap” in happy hour?” Micki said, slipping on her flip-flops.
All of Jared’s friends stood up, too.
I didn’t want to leave Connor by himself. And I really wasn’t in the mood to drink. Liquid calories go down way too easily. “I’ll stay here. I’m almost finished with my book.” I patted the paperback next to me.
Cassidy rolled her eyes. “Good. Keep Connor company.” She ran to catch up with the guys.
“That was nice of you,” Connor said.
I looked off at a sailboat on the horizon. “I wanted to finish my book.” Do not start blushing!
He gave a quick laugh. “The spine isn’t creased. You haven’t even started reading it.”
Oh, I was blushing for sure. If he was that observant, what else was he noticing? “Fine. I’m busted. I just didn’t feel like drinking, and I thought it was rude to leave you here alone.” I pulled my sarong over my lap, as if I were covering a few belly rolls instead of the flat tummy I now had. Old habits and all.
“It would be nice if my girlfriend was as considerate.” He looked out at the ocean and shook his head.
“You don’t have to be considerate when you look like Cassidy.”
“Bull. You’re just as pretty, and here you are.”
I swallowed back my surprise. “I didn’t always look like this. I’m sure you’ve heard.”
He grinned at me. “Yes, she fills me in on all her friends. But she really likes you.”
I cracked open the book and flipped through the pages. “So, you like swimming?” Losing lots of weight meant thin thighs, but it didn’t magically reveal smooth conversational skills. I had zero practice chatting up hot men.
“Swimming in the ocean is great. You don’t have to kick off the wall and turn around.” His shoulder muscles bulged as he leaned back. “Tomorrow, I’ll jog along the beach. Running in the sand? Now that’s a great workout.”
I picked up a shell next to my beach chair. “I couldn’t walk a mile a year ago when I started my weight-loss plan. Now I run twenty miles a week. I love it. Never thought I’d say that.” I laughed, smoothing my fingers over the ridges. “I know a lot of people are waiting for me to just gain the weight back. But I feel so good now, it’s not going to happen.” I tossed the shell toward the water.
He looked over at me and stared for a moment. I wondered if something was on my face. I tucked my hair behind my ear and then dragged my fingers through the sand like I was searching for something to grab onto.
“It’s great that you can be so open about it. You don’t pretend to be something you’re not. I think a lot of people might try to hide it.”
I looked into his clear blue eyes. “Why? I’m proud. It was a lot of hard work, determination and sweat.” I laughed. “Lots of sweat.”
“Yeah, but it’s good sweat. Wanna join me for a run tomorrow?” he asked. “I’m heading out around seven o’clock. We can sweat together.”
My heart rate kicked up like I’d already been running. Was he flirting with me? Probably not. I just didn’t have enough experience to know. “Sure, I’d love to run with you. Cassidy won’t mind?”
He snorted, raising an eyebrow. “For one thing, she won’t even miss me. But no, she won’t mind. She’s far too confident to be jealous.”
I was surprised how he was talking about her. He didn’t exactly sound like the smitten guy she’d been bragging about.
We chatted about work and I was laughing over a joke he’d made, when Cassidy and crew returned. “Aren’t you two cozy,” she said, her smile not quite matching the edge in her voice.
“You didn’t tell me how funny Natalie is,” Connor said.
I smiled at him. “It’s hard not to be funny when talking about our sales department. Sometimes I think we must be on a hidden camera reality show.”
She plopped down next to us. “I know, right?” She reached over and squeezed Connor’s thigh. “So, this new restaurant opened a little ways down the beach. We’re going to check it out tonight. Hey, did you put your stuff in my room?”
He leaned back from her. “I’m staying with the guys tonight to give you girls some space.”
She crossed her arms and pouted. “You don’t want to stay with me?”
I thought he’d placate her with a kiss, or rub her shoulder, but he didn’t. He just shrugged. “I figured Natalie and Micki would appreciate girls-only accommodations.”
“You don’t care, do you, Natalie?” Cassidy asked.
I opened my mouth, but Connor didn’t give me a chance to answer. “I’m staying with the guys.”
She stood up and adjusted her bikini straps. “Fine. I’m going for a walk.”
I expected him to go after her, but he didn’t. “I’m heading up for a shower,” he said. “I’ll see you guys tonight.”
I watched him walk away and hoped my hot cheeks might be mistaken for sunburn instead of bottomless lust.
“What’s with the two of them?” Micki raised her eyebrows. “Trouble in paradise?”
“Must be the heat. They’ll kiss and make up soon enough.” I grabbed my cell and checked the time. “I’d like to go back, too.” I pulled on a cover-up and gathered my things.
“Girl, when are you going to stop hiding the body you worked so hard for?” Micki finished off a Coke and tossed the empty can in her beach bag.
I crossed my arms, still surprised to find so little of me there. “It takes some getting used to.”
Micki put her arm around me. “I dare you to take it off and walk back to the condo in just your bathing suit.”
My stomach lurched just thinking about it. “I’ve spent years hoping people wouldn’t look at me. That’s hard to change overnight.”
“Good thing I’m here to help. You’re going to leave the beach a new woman tomorrow.”
I laughed. “Good luck with that.” I put my straw hat on, flung my towel over my shoulder, and headed for our room.
I showered and changed into a long, flowing sundress. Micki came in from the beach and mimed sticking her finger down her throat. “Natalie, we’re not going to a Woodstock festival tonight. We’re at the beach. Skin rules.”
I looked down at my dress. Is it that bad? “I didn’t bring anything else.”
“I did. What size do you wear?”
I had to think about it; the sizes had dropped faster than the temperature at sunset. “Eight?”
She gave me a doubting look. “I think you’re a six, sister. So am I. Let’s see what we can do for you.”
Micki had brought two suitcases to Cassidy’s three. She pulled out four different dresses and laid them on her bed. “Which one do you like?”
They looked smaller than shirts I used to wear. “These are really short.”
She tucked her short black hair behind her ears. “Good. You won’t overheat. Pick one.”
I hovered over the choices, which really were beautiful, but nothing like any dresses I’d ever worn. I ruled out the two strapless options, even though the red one was to die for. I’d be worried about a wardrobe malfunction all night.
That left a peach-colored baby doll that would skim my knees if I were lucky, and a classic white dress, with flowers lining the straps. “Let’s try the white one.” I pushed back the fear bubbling up in my chest.
Micki handed it to me. “And let’s put your hair up,” she said. “Show off your long neck.”
It was easier to humor her than argue. I went to my room and changed into the dress, spending at least ten minutes examining myself in the mirror from every angle. I had to admit, it looked good. There wasn’t a bulge to be found. I went out to show Micki, feeling like a teenager trying on her first grownup gown.
She shrieked and covered her mouth. “You look so good! You should totally hire me as your stylist. And good news, I’m cheap. Not in the trampy way, of course.”
“Of course not.” I heard the shower turn on down the hall. Apparently, Cassidy had arrived while I was changing and was now getting ready. It would probably be a good hour before she was ready to go, so I sat down on Micki’s bed and let her do my hair and makeup. I’d been chubby since I was a toddler and hadn’t been to many makeover parties. I closed my eyes and smiled as she worked on my hair.
“So, you’re really not interested in any of Connor’s friends?” Her fingers moved quickly through my hair, curling and twisting sections into an updo.
I shrugged. “None of them are really like Connor.”
She set the curling iron down. “Wait. You’ve got a thing for Connor?” she asked in a devious, hope-it’s-true whisper.
My eyes flew open and I shook my head. “No, no. He’s just really nice and I thought his friends would be more like him. They’re overgrown frat boys.” I was shaking my head hard enough that my updo was falling down.
“The lady certainly does protest a bit much.” Micki smirked. “Cassidy doesn’t deserve him. What that girl needs is a breakup worthy of a viral video. I can’t believe what men will tolerate from a beautiful woman.” She rolled her eyes.
I let out the breath I’d been holding. “I know.”
She doused my hair with more spray than I’d used in the last month. “If you don’t like any of his friends, maybe you’ll meet someone else tonight.”
“Maybe.” I coughed, waving away the mist of spray that lingered in the air. “What about you?”
She shrugged. “We’ll see. I don’t stress about it too much. When it happens, it happens.”
She finished my makeup and I looked in the mirror. It was heavier than what I usually wore, but somehow it looked more natural than the results my fumbling around ever had. I hadn’t even felt this beautiful when I got all dolled up for prom at the salon and went with a bunch of girlfriends. I threw my arms around her and squeezed. “Thanks, Micki.”
She stepped back and I dropped my arms. I forgot she wasn’t a hugger. “No problem,” she said. “It’ll be very interesting to see how the night turns out. Be sure to bring my dress home in the morning.”
“Micki!”
She winked at me. “You’re hot, Natalie. Deal with it.”
I looked in the mirror and the reflection of the person looking back at me certainly was hot. But would I ever feel the same way inside?
We sat outside on the patio waiting for Cassidy to finish getting ready. Micki put her head on the table and pretended to snore. “What’s she doing? Washing each hair individually?”
The patio door slid open. “I’m ready!” Cassidy cooed. She’d straightened her long hair, which fell over her tanned shoulders. A hot pink, strapless mini dress showed off her perfect legs. She looked like an airbrushed model who’d stepped out of her Cosmo. Nobody would be looking at me next to her.
Surprisingly, her smile fell when she saw me. “What’s all this?” She gestured to my dress.
I smoothed my hands down my thighs. “Micki did an ambush makeover on me.”
Micki set her hand on my shoulder. “Doesn’t she look fab?”
“Yeah. Sure.” Cassidy shrugged. “Let’s go, girls. Reservations are at seven.”
I drove, since I wasn’t planning on drinking much. Micki handed me her lip gloss for an extra coat before we hit the restaurant. “You look amazing,” she told me before we went inside. “Seriously.” She squeezed my shoulder.
“Thanks.” I pressed my hand against my chest, hoping to calm my heart. I’d never gone anywhere looking like this. I lingered in the parking lot while Cassidy strode ahead. Micki grabbed me by the hand and pulled me in.
I spotted Connor and his friends sitting in the back near a lobster trap tacked to the wall and a nice view of the ocean. I was aware of heads turning to watch us walk by. I gulped.
Connor stood up when we walked over. Cassidy planted a kiss on his cheek, but he was looking at me. “You guys look great,” he said.
Cassidy giggled and shrugged. “Thanks, sweetie.”
Connor snapped his gaze from me, and a glare flickered across Cassidy’s face. Then it was gone, and she was laughing and teasing one of his friends about his sunburned nose and how he looked like Rudolph.
I sat down and found myself directly across from Connor. Jared was next to me with a view down the v-neck of my dress. “You girls having a good time?” he asked.
I took a sip of water. “It was a beautiful day. I love the beach.”
“Natalie and I are going running tomorrow morning. We’re supposed to have terrific weather again,” Connor said.
Cassidy narrowed her brows. “You two are running? Together?”
“Yep. Found out she goes jogging just as often as I do.” He looked at me and smiled.
Cassidy flipped her hair over her shoulders. “Natalie, did you go to the beach when you were really big?”
“Cassidy!” Connor scolded.
“What?” she protested.
I closed my eyes and forced a grin. “I’ve always gone to the beach whenever I could. I love looking for interesting shells or beach glass. I found a piece once with a symbol stamped on it. It looked really old. Blue beach glass is my favorite. Hard to find.”
“How cute!” Cassidy laughed. “Did you bring your shovel and pail? Maybe you can make a sandcastle, too.” She covered her mouth with her hand. “I’m sorry. I suppose that’s what people do at the beach when they’re not working on their tan.”
I was used to witnessing Cassidy’s passive-aggressive bitchiness, but it usually wasn’t directed at me. I opened and closed my mouth, uncertain what to say. I’d spent a lifetime ignoring snide comments. Battling them back just wasn’t in my skill set.
“I’ve got a huge jar of beach glass at home,” Connor said. “I like wondering where it came from. Pirate ship? Party on a cruise boat?”
Cassidy made a face. “Seriously?”
Connor caught my eye, and I couldn’t hide my smile. “Or maybe a piece of a champagne bottle that christened a ship?” I offered.
He pointed at me. “Clever. Hadn’t thought about that one.”
Cassidy rolled her eyes. “It’s just from beer bottles and wine coolers.”
The waitress came by to take our drink order, and I decided water with lemon wouldn’t cut it. “Rum and diet coke.”
“I’ll help you look for some beach glass tomorrow,” Jared offered.
Cassidy laughed. “Yeah, Jared, I forgot, you’re quite the treasure hunter.”
“If Natalie likes it, I don’t mind helping her.”
“I could help you, too,” offered another friend.
I really had no plans to go beach glass hunting, but when two cute guys volunteered their assistance, what could I say? “Thanks. That’d be great.”
Connor’s other friends were checking me out and I felt like the new baby panda at the zoo with so many eyes on me. I wanted to slide under the table. Cassidy watched them watching me, while Micki was watching her.
“So, how about those Red Sox?” I said, breaking the silence at the table.
Thankfully, the conversation turned to the baseball season and plans to rent jet skis the next day. Soon enough, our food came. Although I’d been mighty tempted by the Seafood Alfredo, I went with Shrimp Fra Diavolo instead, and probably saved a thousand calories doing so, although the portion was huge. I certainly wouldn’t be eating the whole thing.
Cassidy slid half of her broiled fish onto Connor’s plate. Then she looked at me. “You’re not going to eat all that are you, Natalie?”
I was seriously thinking about asking for a new cubicle when we went back to work Monday. “No, I’m not going to eat it all. I’m more than happy to share if anyone wants a taste.”
“Would you have eaten the whole thing before you lost all the weight?” she asked.
Connor shot her a look.
“What? I’m just curious. I have no idea what it’s like to be that big. I’m proud of Natalie. I’ve been her cheering squad all along.” She pumped her fist in the air as if to prove it.
Curious onlooker is more like it, I thought. I finished my drink and signaled the waitress for another. Once upon a time, a situation like this would have had me diving into the breadbasket. But I chewed on a few ice cubes instead, gnawing away at my stress, calorie-free.
But I was still upset. I stood up to go to the restroom. “I’ll be right back.”
“Let me come with you,” Micki said.
I hurried to the restroom while Micki tried to keep up. I pushed through the door, closed my eyes, and leaned back against the wall. “Why is she being such a bitch?”
“Because you’re the center of attention and she’s not. It’s probably the first time it’s ever happened to her.”
“I’m so embarrassed.”
“Don’t be. She’s embarrassing herself. Natalie, you’re not the number on your scale, even though that number’s a good one these days. You’re kind and funny and smart and you’re friends with me. And those things earn you big points.” She winked at me. “Chin up, girl. Now go to the bathroom, and we’re going to take our time walking back to the table. Let people look at you. Don’t worry about what they’re thinking.”
I nodded and looked at myself in the mirror. My arms were crossed and my shoulders slumped like I was trying to curl up into the fetal position. I put my hands to my sides, straightened my shoulders, and took a deep breath. I did look good. But Micki was right. I was more proud of the kind of person I was than what I looked like.
“Screw Cassidy,” I said.
Micki let out a whoop of laughter. “Or her boyfriend. That would show her.”
I whacked her arm and headed for a stall.
Returning to the table, I took my time walking, not bothering to see who was looking as I went by. Cassidy was telling a story to the guys, but they stopped looking at her and watched us as we returned.
She planted her hands on her hips. Then she forced a smile. “Did you go and throw up? Is that your secret?”
Micki sat down and popped a piece of bread in her mouth. “No, we were talking about what a bitch you are.” She smiled. “Kidding.”
“Cassidy, I think you’ve had enough to drink tonight,” Connor said.
She looked offended. “I’m concerned about my friend. I want to be sure she’s okay.”She stretched out the word like there were five letter A’s in it.
“You don’t need to worry about me. I’m great.”
“Yeah, you are,” Connor said.
Cassidy’s lips curled into a smile, but her eyes were flat and dull. “I want to show you guys something.” She reached into her purse and grabbed her phone. After pressing a few buttons, she handed it to Connor. “Look.”
He examined the phone.
“That’s Natalie at the company’s Memorial Day cookout last year.”
My stomach tumbled and I pressed my eyes shut, but I could still picture the scene. We’d been playing volleyball, and I was excited that I scored the winning point for our team. We posed for a picture, and our boss posted it on the bulletin board the next week. I hadn’t had my picture taken in years, and didn’t realize how big I’d really become. That’s when I’d decided to lose weight.
I reached for my drink, but it was empty. All the ice cubes were gone too.
“Isn’t that incredible?” Cassidy asked. “She’s like a different person. It’s like she lost a whole person or something. It’s like she lost me!” She giggled.
Frowning, Connor handed it back to her and looked at me. “I knew that was you right away. No one has green eyes like yours. Beach-glass green.”
Cassidy handed the phone to the guy next to her, while Micki placed her hand on my leg. “Hold your head high,” she whispered.
And I did. Then I stood up. “I’m heading back to the room.” I threw two twenties on the table to cover my part of the bill, and decided to drive home the next morning. This was too much.
“Natalie, I can’t let you drive. You’ve had too much to drink. You need to wait a while.” Micki pulled me back down in my seat.
The phone made its way back to Cassidy.
“So how did you do it?” Connor asked. “How did you lose the weight?”
I wanted to crawl under the table.
“I don’t mean to pry. You should be really proud, that’s all.”
“She stopped eating so much. Duh.” Cassidy rolled her eyes.
Something inside me snapped. She wasn’t really my friend and I wasn’t going to let her treat me like this. I wouldn’t slink away from the table because of her and I wouldn’t be leaving the beach, either.
I gave her a great big smile. “Actually, it was more than that.” I explained everything I’d learned about the glycemic index and carbs versus protein.
The guys were interested, and asked lots of questions about whole grains and fat grams.
“Of course, exercising helps, too,” I added.
“Right. And don’t forget our run tomorrow,” Connor said. He was sitting further away from Cassidy, who was pouting and glaring at her empty drink.
“Well, I don’t have to work hard at it at all,” she said. “This all comes naturally.”
Connor shook his head and let out a laugh. “There’s really not much natural about you. Have fun, guys. I’m headed back to the condo, too. I’ve got a running date tomorrow morning.” He winked at me and pushed away from the table. “Want a ride home, Natalie?”
I nodded and handed my keys to Micki. “See you guys later.”
“Don’t worry about me. I’ll be fine,” Cassidy said sarcastically.
“I know you will,” Connor said. “You have fun without me all the time.”
I followed Connor to his car, wondering if the churning in my stomach was because of the alcohol or the fact I was driving home with him and Cassidy wasn’t.
“I’m sorry,” he said. “I’m really embarrassed.” He held open my door for me.
“You didn’t say anything wrong.”
He climbed into the driver’s seat stared out the windshield before starting the car. “I’m embarrassed that I’m dating someone so ugly.”
I snorted. “Cassidy is hardly ugly.”
“She is on the inside. How did I end up with someone so rude? The minute someone besides her gets a little attention, she turns into a brat. She tried to hurt you tonight and that was terrible.”
“So, why are you going out with her?” God. I couldn’t believe I’d asked it, drunk or not.
“Good question,” he said, pulling out of the parking lot. “One that I can’t answer. I don’t think she’s ever had to work hard for a thing in her life.” He looked over at me. “It’s really impressive what you did. You shouldn’t be embarrassed.”
I looked down, more embarrassed than ever.
He walked me to my door when we got back to the condo. “You gonna make it tomorrow morning? I understand if you need to sleep off a hangover.” He reached out and grabbed my hand.
I squeezed back, wanting to thank him for being such a good friend. No way was I missing a running date with Connor. Didn’t matter if I had to stop to puke, I’d be there. “I’ll meet you behind the condo at seven.”
***
I thought I’d have a hard time falling asleep, but I didn’t even hear Micki and Cassidy come in. Before I knew it, the alarm was going off and I got dressed and headed outside, pleased to feel the cool morning air on my skin. The cool feeling disappeared when I saw Connor headed my way.
“Glad you made it,” he said.
“I think it’ll help with the hangover. I don’t usually drink much. But last night…” I rubbed my temples.
“We all needed a drink last night.”
I reached down and touched my toes. I never tired of the sensation, plus it was a good excuse not to face him. “I’ll feel better after a run, that’s for sure.”
After stretching, we jogged down to the shore. “Let’s head for the pier,” he said.
We started off at a medium pace, and the fresh ocean air felt incredible flooding my lungs. My headache disappeared and my mood lifted. I wished I’d known years ago how good running made me feel. Could’ve had a whole different life. I shook off the regret and sprinted ahead of Connor.
“Wait up!” he yelled behind me.
That only made me run faster, but he did finally catch up, and then we fell into the same rhythm. My ponytail swung behind me as we ran, and I caught him glancing at me a few times.
I closed my eyes, running along, lost in the moment. When I opened them, Connor wasn’t by me. I slowed down and looked behind me. He was twenty yards back, tying his shoe. I waited for him, but he was still squatting down. Maybe he’d lost his key?
I planted my hands on my hips and walked back to him. “What’s up?”
He smiled up at me and held out his hand. Something shiny glinted in his palm. “I spotted a piece of blue beach glass. That’s your favorite, right?”
He stood up and handed it to me. Our fingers brushed and I had to think of my hilarious calendar featuring puppies dressed in formal wear to stop from crying. The poodle in pumps cracked me up every time. Luckily, it made me smile as I stared at the hunk of glass in my hand. In my twenty-six years, this was the nicest thing any boy, teen, or man had ever given me. “Thanks,” I managed to choke out. I held the piece of glass up to the sun. It was a good-sized hunk of cobalt blue.
He bent down again and plucked a smaller, clear piece from the sand. “There’s a bunch of it, right here in these rocks. I think it’s from a wine bottle a pair of honeymooners tossed off their yacht.” He grinned.
I stooped down next to him. “This brown piece must’ve been the last bottle of whiskey from a ship marooned on an island.”
Together, we picked up bits of brown glass and a few smooth, green pieces telling stories about where they came from. I found a tiny crab and let it crawl across the palm of my hand. “I should keep you. I love crab cakes.”
He laughed. “You’d need about a hundred of those for one cake. I know a great place not far from here that serves the world’s best crab cakes. Maybe we can go there for dinner tonight.”
I let the crab scoot off my hand onto the sand. I looked up at Connor. “I don’t think I’ll be joining the group for dinner tonight. I need a break from your girlfriend. Sorry.”
He reached his hand to me and pulled me up. “Me too. I forgot about her for a moment. I was thinking about dinner, just you and me.”
A wave of delight—chased by a mound of guilt—hit my gut. “Okay, she’s not the nicest person in the world, but I couldn’t do that.”
“I know. It would just be nice, that’s all.” He dumped his pieces of glass in my hand and I tucked them in my pocket.
“Wanna keep running, or should we walk back?” he asked.
“Let’s walk.” We headed back for the condo and talked about favorite vacations we’d taken, the inexplicable popularity of reality TV, and whether brownies or chocolate chip cookies were the perfect dessert.
“Not that I eat those very often anymore,” I admitted.
“Once in a while, I hope. Gotta live your life.”
“But not as a fat girl again. Back then? A guy like you never would have talked to me.” I looked away from him and thought about the Labrador in a tiara who grinned at me for all of March.
Connor grabbed my arm. He opened his mouth to say something, then closed it. “Well, I would have been a fool. Because you’re even sweeter and funnier and more interesting than you are pretty.”
I sucked in a breath. The surf crashed against the shore, the birds cried overhead and we stared at each other for a moment. Not that I had any experience, but I imagined this would be the right time to place my hand on his chest. Or maybe his cheek. His butt cheek? No. Shoulder, maybe, and look up with a coy smile. But I took a step back from him, because he was still dating my co-worker, snot or not.
“Thanks, Connor. I hope I can meet someone like you someday.” And then I ran off to the condo so he couldn’t see my tears.
Images of dogs in drag only work for so long; you just know some of those poor pooches are boys.
It was nine o’clock when I got back, and Micki was in the kitchen dipping her finger in a jar of peanut butter. Cassidy was in the shower.
“How was your run?” she asked. “With Connor,” she added, with a sexy tone in her voice.
“Fine. Good.” I took the beach glass out of my pocket and dumped it in an empty wine glass on the counter.
“What’s this?”
“We found some beach glass.”
Her eyebrow shot up. “You and Connor went beachcombing? How sweet.”
“It wasn’t like that.” Even though it had been for a moment.
“Don’t let the Queen of Everything in there know. She’s trying to pretend like she doesn’t care that Connor brought you home last night—and went running with you this morning. But I know a jilted diva when I see one. I think it was her talons that gave her away.”
I headed for my bedroom and looked back at her. “Thanks for the warning, but I did nothing wrong.” Guilt blinked its beady eyes because I’d been thinking about five different kinds of wrong.
Micki chased me into the bedroom. “Listen, you really rocked that dress last night. It’s time to step up your game.” She pulled a black bikini from behind her. “It’s brand new—I couldn’t decide which one to buy. But I know it would look awesome on you.” She handed it to me. “Consider it a thank you gift for making Cassidy squirm last night. That was fun.”
I was ready to say, no, no I couldn’t. But I remembered the moment last night when I returned from the restroom, with my chin up and shoulders back. I liked that feeling. And I liked the way Connor looked at me then.
I snatched the bathing suit from her. “Why not?”
Micki clapped. “Yay! I’ll meet you down at the beach.”
I closed the door and put on the bikini, examining myself from every angle in the mirror hanging on the back of the door. I jumped up and down a few times, expecting to see something jiggle, but nothing did. I stared at myself in the mirror; the little girl who’d been teased for her big thighs and her wide load since she was seven was staring back at me.
I grabbed my cover-up and slipped it on. I’d take it off later. I would. I needed to work up my courage, first.
Cassidy was still in her room getting ready. I grabbed my beach bag and towel and headed down to the beach. I found Micki and settled in next to her.
Connor and his friends were set up a little ways down from us. I felt Connor watching me, but wouldn’t look his way. Maybe I’d been wrong about him. What kind of guy flirts with his girlfriend’s coworker—while they’re on vacation together?
Cassidy sauntered down in a gold bikini. Her hair was piled on top of her head in a twist that was meant to look casual, but clearly took some time and significant hair product to achieve. I held my breath, expecting her to come over and give me shit. But she made her way over to Connor and the gang.
She stood in front of them, spreading out her towel and giving the group a good look at her thong. I snuck a peak at Connor, who was frowning.
I’m not really sure why I did it, but I stood up, pulled off my cover-up and walked down to the water.
“And say hello to the new Natalie,” Micki said quietly, with a polite clap.
I looked at her over my shoulder. “And say goodbye to the old me.” Taking my time walking out to the water, I sensed someone coming behind me.
“Hey, wanna take a walk?” Jared asked.
I smiled. “Maybe later. Right now, I want to go for a swim.” I looked back at the guys. They were all watching, and so was Cassidy, although she snapped her head away when I caught her gaze.
Oh, yeah. Definite cubicle change next week.
I waded out until the water was chest deep and realized how much colder the ocean seemed with my entire stomach exposed for the first time in my life. Then I wondered how my bikini would hold up while swimming. I dove under water and started doing a simple breaststroke, when I saw Connor sloshing in toward me.
I stopped swimming so he could catch up. He grinned that dazzling grin of his. “You didn’t tell me you’re training for a triathlon.”
“Just trying to cool off.” In more ways than one.
“You do look very hot in that bikini.”
“That would be a very welcome comment—if not for your girlfriend watching us from the beach. Do you have any idea how much work is going to suck next week?”
“I’m sorry. You’re right. In my mind, we’re finished. I just can’t break up with her here, not on vacation. But I will. Very soon.”
“Very thoughtful,” I said. And probably total crap. He wouldn’t dump her. Who would?
“And I’m hoping you’ll go out with me when I do.”
“Sure. Call me after you split.” I wasn’t buying this at all. Leave Cassidy for me? I almost snorted.
He smiled. “Great. And please come to dinner with us tonight. I’ve got something I want to show you. Something I want to show everyone.”
“Okay.” And I swam away from him. Because I’d been wrong. He seemed so nice, but Connor had to be a smooth-talking liar. Guys like him don’t go out with girls like me.
***
But I wasn’t missing dinner. And given another shot at Micki’s dress collection, I picked out the strapless red dress I’d thought I couldn’t handle the night before. Micki straight-ironed my hair, and this time I left it down.
Cassidy popped her head in the room. “Aww, look. It’s like you guys are back in sixth grade.”
“Yep,” Micki said. “Want me to do yours?”
Cassidy laughed. “No, thanks. I want my hair to look nice.” She wandered down the hall.
“I don’t know why I agreed to come this weekend. She’s being such a jerk.”
Micki put her hands on her hips. “Natalie, I hate to say this, but I think she liked being your friend because in the past, you always made her look better. And now...you look better than she does.”
I stood up and smiled at myself I the mirror. “Sucks to be her.”
Micki bit her lip. “You know what would look perfect with that dress?”
“What?”
“Cassidy’s Manolo sandals. I know you wear the same size.”
I shook my head. “Oh, I couldn’t.”
“You can and you will. She’s never even worn them. She’ll probably forget they’re hers.” She scampered down the hall to sneak them out of Cassidy’s room and I was feeling spiteful enough to wear them.
***
Cassidy did not notice the shoes. She was too busy looking at herself in the reflection of the mirror in the restaurant lobby. She had on more makeup and higher heels than she did the night before. “Connor loves me in this dress,” she said, smoothing down the silky black material.
But I was the one he was watching when we walked in and met them by the hostess station. Cassidy popped up on her toes to kiss his cheek. She looked back at me and smiled. “Doesn’t Natalie look cute? Micki spent hours getting her ready.”
“I always bring my stylist with me to the beach,” I said, with a pretend snobby accent.
Micki laughed and rolled her eyes. “She’s my most difficult client.”
Connor looked me up and down. “You do good work.”
I knew I was blushing. “Thanks.”
Cassidy let out an exasperated sigh. “Yes, yes, we all know Natalie’s cute now.”
“Ready for the best crab cakes in the world?” Connor asked as we walked to our table.
“Natalie, you can’t have crab cakes. So fattening! Try something baked.” Cassidy sat down at the table next to Connor.
“Sit here, Natalie,” he said, patting the chair next to him.
Cassidy’s eyes widened for a moment.
I sat down and damn my heart for picking up speed. I didn’t know what he was doing. Was he trying to make Cassidy jealous? Or make Jared mad? I was so confused. Maybe hot men were just too difficult to handle. Did all good-looking guys play games?
After we settled in and started chatting, we placed our orders. Connor and I both ordered crab cakes. “I promise, you won’t be disappointed.”
“But you’ll be like, two pounds heavier tomorrow,” Cassidy warned. “Do I need to show you that hideous picture from last year again?”
Connor reached for his phone. “Actually, I have a picture I want to show you.”
Cassidy grabbed his arm and pressed up against him. “Ooh, is it one of me?”
“Nope, I asked my cousin to send this to me earlier today. What do you think of this guy?” He handed me his phone.
It was a picture of a heavy man in his early twenties. He was holding a drink and laughing. There was something very appealing about him. He looked like a fun, nice guy. That’s the kind of guy I should be looking for. Forget what he looks like. Isn’t that how I always wished guys would treat me when I was heavier? “He’s got a great smile,” I said. “Love those dimples. But I think he’s a little young for me.”
Cassidy reached over and grabbed the phone from me. “Let me see.” She swallowed back a laugh. “Maybe your cousin would be the right kind of guy for Natalie. Just in case she gets big again.” She passed the phone over to Micki, who was wiggling her fingers to grab it.
“What’s he, like three hundred pounds?” Cassidy asked.
Connor shook his head. “Two-seventy. And that’s me, not my cousin.”
Confused, Cassidy raised her eyebrows. “What are you talking about?”
“I used to be fat, Cassidy. And I was so ashamed that I moved away from home to start a new life and never told anybody what I used to look like.”
Swallowing hard, I looked down at the napkin in my lap and fiddled with the embroidered edges.
“You were fat and you didn’t tell me?”
He ignored her. “But meeting you, Natalie, made me realize how silly I was. You’ve handled Cassidy’s bitchy comments all weekend with poise and class. I really admire you for not hiding who you are.”
Cassidy held up her hand as if to stop the conversation. “Wait. I’m bitchy? I’ve been nothing but supportive and encouraging.”
“By showing everyone her picture to try and embarrass her?”
“To keep her on the straight and narrow. Literally. You don’t want to get fat again, do you, Natalie? I’m sure those pictures helped.”
Connor looked down at her. “It was mean and you know it. You can’t believe I didn’t tell you I was fat? I can’t believe you didn’t tell me you were a bitch.” He spit out the words at her.
She stood up and threw her napkin on the table. “That’s it. You apologize and take me home now or we’re over.”
Rolling his eyes, he took a drink. “I’ll take the second option.”
Her mouth flapped open and closed. I couldn’t help but think of a fish. “Fine,” she said. “We’re done and I’m going home.” She stormed off as the waitress came over with her food. No one moved to chase Cassidy.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” I asked him, ignoring my crab cakes, which was incredible, really. But I was much more interested in what he had to say than in how the food tasted.
He reached for my hand. “I haven’t told anybody. Not anyone in my new life.
But I really wanted to show you that you’re not alone. And it doesn’t matter. Everyone has shit in their past. Some bigger than others.” He laughed at his unintentional joke, and so did I.
I squeezed his hand. “Thanks.
“Enough small talk, try the crab cakes.”
I cut off a chunk and took a bite. I sighed. “You were right. The best ever.”
After dinner, Micki and the rest of the guys left to go dancing at a club nearby. Connor and I stayed and split a piece of carrot cake.
“I’m going to have to run twenty miles to work this off tomorrow,” I said.
He nudged me with his elbow. “This is a special occasion.”
“Oh?”
“It’s our first date.”
“Hmm. And your last date with Cassidy all rolled in one. I feel a little guilty.”
“Don’t.” He set down his fork. “After so many years of being ignored by the hot girls, I forgot what’s really important and went out with someone like her. But someone like you—you’ve got it all, Natalie.” He leaned over and kissed me.
“I’m probably going to have to find another job now. I hated my cubicle anyway.”
He laughed. “If they were smart, they’d let her go and keep you. But let’s not talk about her. Let’s go walk on the beach.”
The shore was dark and deserted, save for the light from the slice of moon in the sky.
“I’ve never done this before,” I told him.
“What?”
“Walk along the beach at night with a gorgeous man. My dating life has been stunted.”
He stopped walking and turned me to face him. “Then we better catch you up fast.” He weaved his hand through my hair and brought my mouth to his for the most incredible kiss I’d ever had.
“Even better than the crab cakes,” I said, when we came up for air.
“Imagine that?” He grinned. “So, what else haven’t you done that I might be able to help you out with?”
I leaned against him. “I’ve done that, if that’s what you mean.” That had been a drunken mistake back in college. I’d never been brave enough to be naked in front of a man again. Even now, the idea worried me. “Today was my first day wearing a bikini. So that’s new.” And that had been nearly naked, come to think of it.
I looked out over the ocean and smiled at Connor. You can’t, I chided myself. Oh, yes I can. “And I’ve never gone skinny dipping.”
He raised an eyebrow. “Neither have I.”
I shivered and caught my breath. “It’s a dark night. No one’s around.” I lifted a shoulder suggestively. Knowing he wouldn’t be able to see everything was helping my bravery.
He tugged his shirt over his head and pulled me over for another kiss. “You sure about this?”
I nodded, and turned around so he could unzip my dress. He felt around for the tab, and then slowly pulled it down, running his thumb along my spine. I stepped out of it and turned to him.
He undid his pants and kicked off his shoes and we were both standing there in nothing but our undies.
“Ladies first,” he teased.
I sucked in a breath, slid off my panties and ran into the water, giggling and shrieking as I splashed into the waves. I sucked in a breath as the cold water spiked goose bumps on my skin.
Connor was right behind me and led me in deeper. He put his arms around me and held me tight. “You don’t want to do laps, do you?”
I gave his arm a little punch, feeling much warmer now.
I’d left a lot more besides my clothes back on the beach; I’d left my inhibitions and years of pain and hurt. I slipped from Connor’s arms and floated on my back under the scant light of the moon—and Connor’s appreciative gaze. I closed my eyes and smiled.
When we swam back to shore an hour later, my clothes and shoes were gone. The tide had come in and swept them away. So Cassidy’s shoes had gotten lost after a hot night on the beach, after all. I chuckled to myself, but reminded myself I was currently naked and freezing on the beach.
Luckily, Connor had kicked off his clothes further back on the beach. He slid on his pants and gave me his shirt.
We walked back to the condo. Cassidy’s car was gone. “That’s another thing I’ve never done. Stolen another girl’s boyfriend.”
“You didn’t steal me. That relationship was going nowhere.”
I wanted to invite him in, but Micki was there.
He must have known what I was thinking. “We can wait. I plan on seeing a lot more of you when we get back home.”
I tipped up my chin, feeling suddenly flirty. “There’s nothing left to see. I showed you everything tonight.” I was getting the hang of this after all.
He laughed.
The back patio door slid open and Micki stuck her head out. “Where did you two end up?” Her eyes widened. “And where are my clothes?”
My eyes widened and I shrugged. “Say hello to the new Natalie who loses her clothes at sea. Good thing you brought three suitcases.”
She walked out onto the patio. “And Cassidy’s shoes?”
I waved my hand goodbye.
She nibbled her lip and shrugged. “She lost her shoes and her boyfriend.”
I winced. “Bummer.”
“Hey, it’s called karma, and it’s being a bitch to Cassidy. She deserves it. Anyway, I’m headed up to Jared’s, so the place is all yours if you want it…" She raised an eyebrow.
I stepped back. “Jared?”
“I knew it the moment I saw him. But I thought you might be interested, so I held back.”
I slung my arm around her. “Can I move into your cubicle? I’ve been sitting by the wrong friend.”
She hugged me back and scampered up the stairs, while Connor followed the new Natalie inside.