Evie was almost grateful that the duke had his own familial issues. It made her feel more normal, somehow, even if she wished he did not have to go through it.
She was immensely grateful to him for all that he had done, even if they had not yet discovered the truth. Evie smiled to herself; regardless of whether or not they could redeem her father, she had enjoyed her time with Leo, and the memories would be enough to keep her happy when it all ended.
She hoped as much, at least.
Each and every time she tried to pull away from him, she fell back into him once more. With a small laugh, she had to admit to herself that she no longer wanted to pull herself away from him. If he was so determined to find her, then it was time for her to allow herself to be found.
That day was to be no exception. They had fallen into quite the routine of her receiving a note, and then finding him somewhere in the grounds. It was a thrilling time of day, risking everything for a few short moments, but they were cherished. There was no use fighting it anymore, not when she had so enjoyed it.
“Good morning, Your Grace.” She smiled upon finding him that morning, “How is your brother?”
“He is slowly becoming himself again. He was quite ashamed of himself, but now the two of us seem to have reconciled.”
“That is wonderful. Perhaps that little bit of shame was what he needed, as well as some time to think. We all need that from time to time.”
“I know that I have certainly benefited from thinking for some time, which is precisely why I am here today.”
“If it is peace and time to think that you are after, then you might be best at home in your study rather than six feet from chickens.”
“You bring me peace,” he said gently, and Evie’s heart fluttered. “But I am also here because I have been doing a lot of thinking while in solitude, as well as with my brother, and I have some things to ask you.”
And even though she knew he was not going to ask her what she wanted him to, she felt herself become excited all the same. He made her feel a way that she had never felt before, and suddenly, she was tired of pretending that he didn’t.
“What were you wanting to ask?”
“It is best that we do not discuss it here. Should we be seen, that is one thing, but if we are heard that shall be another matter entirely, especially with what I must discuss with you. I was thinking we might go to the Thames again?”
“Because my family loathes the water?”
“It makes sense to me.”
Evie laughed, taking his arm and leaving with him. Once again, that fear of her absence being noted sat in her chest, but with each time she escaped it became less and less noticeable.
Soon enough, they were by the water, and Evie had to stop herself from jumping in. It had been warm that day, and racing to do all of her tasks for the day had not helped. It had been stifling, and the water was so clear and so blue that she almost dove into it.
“We can take a boat if you wish,” the duke suggested. “I do not recommend swimming, however.”
“How did you know that was what I wanted to do?”
“You are looking quite intently at it. In any case, a boat may be a good idea to begin with, for it will keep us out of earshot.”
“My, you must truly be concerned about us being overheard.”
“It is something I have thought about, but it is also nice to spend time alone with you. Come to think of it, this might be precisely what we need.”
Evie agreed, and so she gladly followed him to a boat and sat back as he rowed the two of them out. She dipped her fingertips into the cool river and closed her eyes. She was at peace, and she could no longer pretend that it was not thanks to the duke.
“So,” she said after a while, “what were you wanting to ask me?”
“I may or may not have found a way to discover the truth about your father.”
“Are you quite certain this time?”
“More than I have ever been. We must find a gentleman, which has been easier than I thought, thanks to my brother, and we were wondering if you would like to be present when we speak with him.”
Her eyes widened. Did she? She had been hidden away for so long that it was now her new normal to not be seen by anyone. Other than the duke, and his brother on the odd occasion, she had not spoken with anyone at all, and she had grown used to it. It was easier than having to explain where she had been, at least.
“There is no need for you to,” Leo said quickly. “And I do not want you to feel as though I am forcing your hand. I believe he shall tell us what we need to know whether you are there or not, but Dylan believes it is your right to choose whether or not you are with us.”
“And I thank him for that, but…”
“But?”
“I do not know if I am ready yet. It has been a long time since I was out in society, and even though I miss it, it is something that I was not expecting to ever have to do again.”
“You will be perfectly fine, but it is as I told you. If you do not wish to, then we will find a way to do it ourselves.”
He was so kind, so understanding, and Evie found herself unsure of what to do with that. It was not that she did not know kindness, of course; she had Francesca and Rose when she needed someone, but the duke made her feel different somehow.
“When are you going to see him?” she asked.
“We are undecided as yet. Dylan is going to write to him and request a meeting.”
“I would like to go with you.”
“I assure you that if you are not ready—”
“I shall not be ready enough for my liking no matter how much time I give myself. I must do it somehow, and there is no time like the present.”
“Are you quite sure?”
“I am positive, and now that I have told you, there is no chance for me to change my mind.”
“Although you know that I would never force you to do something that you did not want to do.”
“No, of course not, but I do like to do things that will make you happy. Proud of me, even.”
She did not know why she had said it, but she had, and he seemed to take it in stride. His eyes were kind, and she dared to think that it was when he looked at her that the kindness came through. He was so incredibly handsome, and sitting with oars in his hand and a stray curl falling in front of his face, she had to try with everything in her not to tell him.
“I am incredibly proud of you,” he said softly. “Surely you know that?”
“I want to believe it, but after so long of not hearing those words from anyone but my fellow servants, it has become difficult.”
“Then I shall continue to tell you until you believe me. That is perfectly fine by me. We have plenty of time together, after all.”
Evie tried to stop the tears welling in her eyes, but then she thought about how much kindness came from him and before she knew it they were falling down her cheeks. What was worse was that there was nowhere to run to, as they were on the water in a boat.
“My apologies,” she said quickly, wiping the tears away. “I-I love it when you speak to me in that way. It is not something I am used to now. There are so many things that you do that I am not used to that I completely adore, and I have been trying to find a way to tell you without being inappropriate, but I cannot find a way and I need to tell you. You are wonderful.”
She said it so quickly that she was unsure whether or not he had understood her, and part of her hoped that he had not. It had been so personal that she almost regretted saying it, but as she dared to meet his eyes and saw how he was looking at her, she realized that she could not regret it.
“I am a hypocrite, you know,” he said finally.
Evie blinked, unsure of what he meant.
“You are a man of your word, as far as I am concerned.”
“But I always say that we must live in the moment, but I cannot help but think of what could have been if everything was different.”
“What do you mean?”
“If your father—if he was still here, I would have asked him if I could court you by now. I would have asked him long ago when we first met. I would never have lied to you about who I was, and by now, we would have been engaged.”
“Engaged?” she whispered.
“If you would have had me, that is,” he said, laughing emptily. “But instead, we have spent our time together trying to piece a mystery together, and I will never be able to ask him for permission for anything at all. It is strange, because you miss him for the man you knew, but I find myself missing him because I do not remember him at all. I wish that I did because in all of the investigating that I have done, there has been one constant.”
“Oh? What was that?”
“He was a good man. Everyone liked him a great deal, and they respected him as if he were a man of incredible wealth and status, even more than he was.”
“Unless my aunt and uncle are correct.”
“I think we both know that they are wrong. I cannot wait to prove it to you.”
“I hope that you are right about it, although I do wonder what will become of me once you do prove it.”
“You can do whatever you please,” he explained. “You will be free to do anything you like because you will no longer owe them a thing. You will have the freedom that you have wanted for so long.”
She had to smile for fear of crying once more. If she were honest, freedom was no longer her greatest dream, and there was something that she wanted even more. Then again, it would have gone hand-in-hand with her new dream. That was possible when one chose as well as she would have, if she had been able.
But she had not, and even if the duke proved her father’s innocence, there was only so much that a young lady who had been involved in scandal of any kind could do. It was easier to let such dreams go, no matter how much she wanted to believe in them.
She had the duke, in that moment, and that was enough for her to be happy.
“For what it is worth,” she said gently, “I would have said yes.”
“What do you mean?” he asked her carefully.
“Had you wanted to court me, I would have said yes if you did.”
“I did—I do, but—”
“I understand. It is not the circumstance for it. Regardless, you have been an incredible friend, and I hope that you will stay that way.”
“Evie, you must know that your status does not have any impact on how I feel.”
“No, but you and I are both aware of the expectations of a duke. You must marry a young lady of high status, good breeding, and wealth. I have no wealth or status. All that I am is the niece of an earl, and that is at best. At worst, I am a maid. Not even a duke could withstand such scandal.”
“I do not care about scandal.”
“No, of course not.” She smiled gently. “And I am grateful for that. It has meant that you saw who I was even before you knew of my past. I cannot thank you enough for that.”
“You need not thank me for that. Thank me when I uncover the truth about your father if you must, but you mustn’t be grateful simply because I like you. You have yourself to thank for that. You are resilient and selfless and kind, and I wish that you could see that.”
“Since I met you, it has been easier to see it,” she confessed. “Now, we ought to go back. They shall be looking for me if I do not return soon, and I believe that we have discussed all that we needed to.”
“If that is what you would like to do.”
“I do not want to, but we must. Would you mind if I took us back?”
“But I am supposed to be—”
“You have done so much for me. It is not as though I am incapable of rowing, for I carry heavy things each and every day. I would like to do something for you in return.”
“If you insist,” he smirked, handing the oars to her.
Evie was grateful because she needed a way to expel the energy she had in her body from their conversation. As she rowed, she felt it all leaving her, and she felt especially good watching the duke relax. He had done so much for her, never asking for anything in return, and she truly wished that they had met under different circumstances so that she would not have to lose him.
“I shall see you soon, then,” he said gently to her as he left her at the gate a while later.
“I hope so. Will you hear from this man soon, do you think?”
“We believe we will. I shall come for you when we do, I promise.”
He gave her a gentle kiss, and she kissed him back without a second thought. She did not want him to leave but did not know how to tell him that. He had to go, and she knew that, but she willed him to look at her and change his mind. Regardless, it was the two of them, and it was perfect.
But then she turned around to see them.
Imogen and Aunt Josephine were a few mere meters away, glaring at the two of them. Evie wanted to run, but there was nowhere to run to. They had been too reckless, and now…
“What is the meaning of this?” Aunt Josephine demanded.