Chapter 48
After lunch, Tessa started to have stronger Braxton-Hicks contractions than she had ever felt before, which sent everyone into a bit of a spin. Dr Vertan came to check her out, but by then they’d settled down so she told us all not to worry. We did anyway. Especially Bane, who spent most of the afternoon pacing around the farm. He kept looking at me funny and couldn’t explain why. I told him he was probably just having Braxton-Hicks contractions too. He didn’t laugh.
Later that day, when Aunt Lily found Inara curled up on the pile of clothes Dallmin had just ironed for her, she totally lost the plot. There were a lot of people crammed into the house and she had offered Bane and I her cottage, so she was squishing in with everyone else. It was clearly starting to wear thin.
All of those things paled into insignificance, however, when Sergeant Loxwood arrived in his police Landcruiser.
We offered him a coffee, which he refused. He stood in the kitchen holding his hat, waiting until everyone came in. Only Tim was missing as he was still at the Ashbrees’.
‘Jake Evans has been released from hospital in Melbourne, and this morning he attended his first preliminary hearing,’ he stated, looking grim.
We knew he had been transferred by air ambulance from Nalong to Melbourne once the surgeons had realised the extent of damage Bane’s knife had done to his shoulder. The fact that he was suffering withdrawal from various narcotics hadn’t simplified his situation either.
‘He was released on bail an hour ago.’
Noah’s coffee mug slipped from his grasp, and Tessa grabbed it before it could splash boiling coffee on him, but then she hurled it at the wall so hard that it gouged a chunk out of the plasterboard. Dallmin looked to me, confused.
He means that Jake is not held by the blue sentinels any longer. He is free to return here if he chooses, I explained silently amidst the shouting.
Dallmin closed his eyes for a moment, and then got up and walked out. I wished I could do the same.
‘Mick, how is that possible?’ Tessa cried, standing in front of Noah in protective reflex. ‘How could anyone possibly justify setting that idiot loose to come after us again? If I see him again, I swear I will kill him.’
Bane stood behind my chair and locked his hands onto my shoulders, as if he was about to throw me over his shoulder and run for the hills. I wasn’t entirely certain that wasn’t his plan.
‘I’m sorry, Tessa, I honestly have no idea,’ the sergeant said. ‘I know our justice system isn’t perfect, but this just defies all logic. It was a clear-cut situation, I can’t tell you what went wrong.’ He sat down in the chair Dallmin had just vacated and frowned at the hat in his hands.
Everyone stared at me but I struggled to meet anyone’s eyes. It took me a few awkward moments to plan what I wanted to say and then to pry free the inevitable guilt that stuck its claws into the words. Aunt Lily and the sergeant already knew Noah and I were freaks. I was only clarifying things they needed to be aware of. I shouldn’t have to feel guilty about that.
‘The good news is that Tessa isn’t in any danger.’ I could feel the tension building in Bane’s body every second. ‘I read him. When he was taping my hands. He never came for Tessa, he only took her because I wasn’t there.’ I tried to think of some way to say what I had to without my Guardian turning into a neurotic mess. There just wasn’t one. ‘It was always me,’ I confessed. ‘If it was just about his curiosity with healing, it should have been Bane that he went after, but it wasn’t. It was always about me, from the moment he saw me being healed. It triggered something. Something he couldn’t get out of his head. I saw three years’ worth of visions of his obsession. He didn’t just want to see me getting healed again—that was only a trigger for his compulsion. What he really wants is to see me die. Not even he understands why.’
I couldn’t bring myself to turn to look at Bane, but I could see that everyone else was, and his panic was reflected in each of their faces.
Tessa picked it up first. ‘Seeing you get healed was proof that you’re a Cherub. He’s compelled to kill Cherubim.’ Her hands kept clenching as if she was looking for something to grab onto, like a weapon.
I looked her in the eye. ‘So it’s vitally important that he never sees you healing Noah. It will trigger a compulsion to kill him too.’
‘But why? How does he know what you are?’ Aunt Lily asked.
‘I don’t think he does. Bane and Tess were compelled to protect us before they had any idea of what we were, and both Noah and I felt the need to guard Eden before we even knew it existed. There are powers at play here that don’t seem to be dependent on what we do or don’t understand.’
Behind me I could feel Bane trembling like a pressure cooker about to blow, so I clasped his hands in mine, hoping the direct skin contact would help.
‘Are you sure about this, Lainie?’ Noah asked, doing the same for Tess. ‘I hate to say it, but maybe you’ve forgotten that there are actually people on this side of the Boundary that are just plain rotten. Not every vicious person is involved in the supernatural, and Jake was never exactly the best example of decent behaviour. Remember when he let those ponies loose because he thought it would be funny to watch them dodging all the cars in town? If he really has been obsessing over Bane healing you for three years, then maybe this was just the inevitable outcome.’
Perhaps he was right. My view of the world was a bit skewed. Unfortunately Bane disagreed.
‘No,’ he said. ‘Not only did he drag Tessa all the way to Melbourne and all the way back again in the space of a day, but he didn’t even bother to check if Lainie was home before coming here in the first place.’ He let go of my hands and went to look out of the window, as if he expected to see Jake walking up the driveway. His looked so angry and I could see his shoulder muscles flexing under his shirt. ‘That bastard tricked Noah into leaving and then came here, with his dad’s gun, hoping to either kill Lainie or watch me heal her again. When he found that she wasn’t here he could have just come back another day. Instead he decided to abduct Tessa, with apparently no clear plan other than hoping that Noah would find and rescue her. I know he’s no criminal mastermind, but if it was just about wanting to witness another miracle, even Jake could have come up with something smarter than that with three years to plan.’ He turned back to me. ‘And so just what powers are at play here?’ he asked. ‘What can Jake do? I stopped him last time. He won’t get so close again.’
Jake might not have been a criminal mastermind, but Bane’s tone of voice would have made even Magneto flinch.
I took a deep, guilt-heavy breath, reminding myself that we needed the policeman’s help. Eden needed him to know this. ‘Well, for starters, I think he can do something similar to what Noah does without even realising it. He charms people.’
My fellow Sentinel looked taken aback at my compliment.
‘I mean in a supernatural way. You can talk anyone into anything, Noah, particularly when it helps us do our job, and I hate to tell you, you’re not that good looking. I think Jake can do the same, which would be how he convinced the judge at his hearing that he wasn’t a threat.’
‘And what about the … bigger powers?’ the sergeant asked, still holding his hat.
While I thought it through, I smoothed my fingers along the battered surface of the wooden table. ‘I’d like to think that if he had them, he would have used them last time. I can only use mine when the secret of Eden is under direct threat. If his powers are defined by his compulsion to kill me then he would have had access to them that day, when I was right in front of him.’ It made sense, I hoped.
‘Well if charm’s all he’s got, then good luck to him. It won’t work on me and I’m not letting you out of my sight until he’s in police custody again,’ Bane said.
‘What if he gets hold of another gun?’ Tessa asked.
The policeman shook his head. ‘We’ve put out fresh community warnings for people to be vigilant about their firearm security. We’ve made it abundantly plain that gun owners will be penalised if they don’t take the necessary precautions to keep their guns secure.’
Noah squeezed her hand again. ‘Bane’s already put a new lock on our gun cupboard. He won’t get to ours, I promise.’
‘If we didn’t need it for the farm, I would get rid of that thing in an instant,’ he said.
Sergeant Loxwood cleared his throat. ‘I’m sorry, Tessa, but I’ll be confiscating yours and the Ashbrees’ farm rifles for a while. Your licence was granted for farm use purposes only, and quite frankly, you’re scaring me a little.’
I let out a pent breath, and glanced at Bane. He didn’t seem as bothered by the sergeant’s edict as Tessa clearly was.
‘So what are we supposed to do if he comes back? Hope that Bane has his knife handy?’ she asked. ‘I can’t risk fighting back right now, remember? I was completely helpless when he came for me before. I can’t even protect myself right now, let alone Lainie.’ She opened her mouth to argue more, but then noticed Noah’s mortified expression and seemed to change her mind. Her next words sounded a bit calmer. ‘Look, we need to find Jake so you can lock him up before he has a chance to arm himself.’
Sergeant Loxwood looked down at his hat again. ‘Ah. I hate to have to say it but unless I can convince the judge to change his mind, we’re going to have to wait until Jake breaches his bail conditions, or until he attempts to make contact with one of you again, which I believe is one of the conditions anyway. Until then I can’t arrest him. What I will do, though, is to try to get out here as often as I can between shifts, to keep an eye on things. Do you still have that spare bed, Lily?’
My aunt nodded. ‘I’ll see if I can stay next door for a few days. You’re needed here more than I am. I’ll just be a few minutes away if anyone wants me.’
At least that way she would get some peace and some space to herself, I hoped, although it did mean staying under the same roof as Nicole, who was anything but quiet.
Everyone was watching me with puppy dog eyes again, like they had when I’d come home from hospital. Except for Tessa, who looked like she wanted to bite someone.
I grabbed an apple from the fruit bowl. ‘I’ll be fine, people. Stop fussing. Our powers way outstrip his, not to mention that Bane can sense any threat to me long before it happens. We’ll sort this out quickly enough, don’t worry.’
Juice squirted as I took a huge bite. I was trying to look as relaxed as I sounded but the truth was that I was struggling to believe my own assurances. Life had just become a whole lot more complicated.
Cold wind whipped the leaves of the wattle trees, which looked bereft without their golden blossoms. They lent their somnolence to the current, calming me as I waded into the river to talk to Dallmin. The music filled my heavy heart, transforming itself from a background comfort in my mind to an overwhelming feeling of peace and serenity that refused to be denied. No earthly worries or petty death threats could distract me from the beauty that I tasted in the water’s music. Life itself dripped from my fingertips, healing me in subtle ways that even Bane’s touch couldn’t. And yet it was only a shadowy echo of the River of Life that flowed through the Garden. How precious a gift to have been able to take the River for granted while I was there. Its steadfast presence and abundant healing power was just such an intrinsic part of Eden that I had barely appreciated it. Until it was gone.
I pressed against the river’s tug until I reached the rock he was sitting on, and climbed up next to him. ‘What are you feeling?’ I asked.
He turned his dark eyes on me, his long lashes wet from his swim. Or had he been crying?
‘There are many new feelings I have no name for,’ he said. ‘It is better here in the water, but not the same. I keep looking around for Fruit and of course there is none. It leaves me feeling …’
Hollow. Empty. Bereft. Incomplete. I understood completely. And I had hardly eaten any. He must be craving it like an addict.
Shoulders hunched, he let his long fingers trail in the water with a delicate touch. Sadness coloured every movement, every breath.
‘I do. Each tight moment. And yet I’m afraid I can’t go back now. I am tainted, Lainie. I understand now, and my understanding is what has tainted me.’
Bloody Jake. I totally blamed him. Almost totally.
‘We don’t know that for certain, Dallmin, we could still try. Please don’t give up hope.’
His smile betrayed a wisdom way beyond the youthfulness of his face. ‘It is not in me to ever give up hope. If Life can exist here in this small stream, then it can remain in me even while I live in this place. I will find a way to get home, and even if I don’t, it is not the end of the story.’
A small spark of light still danced behind his eyes, reminding me of his innate fun-loving nature. I would keep that light kindled somehow, for as long as it took to get him back home.
‘Dallmin, there’s something I want you to do. Or, actually, not do. If Jake comes back, I want you to stay out of the way as best you can. I know Bane gave you a knife, and I know why. He told me that you understood too. But please, whatever happens, no matter how justified it seems, I don’t want you to kill. Not even to save me, or even Tessa. It will taint you more than anything else. Even Cherubim would be unable to enter Eden if we could kill.’
He pondered that for a long time, droplets of water falling from his dark hair.
‘Please, Dallmin. Promise me! You must never kill another human, no matter what.’
‘And if I were to stand by and let him hurt you, in order to save myself from the taint, what would that do to me? No, Lainie, I can’t promise what you ask. My spirit has had to change shape to make space for this new understanding of … sadness, and I can no longer live as I once did, so I must discern what’s right and wrong for myself, and take responsibility for my choices.’
Bloody centuries-old elf, why did he have to have caught on so quickly? With my tears melting into the current, I hugged him and then returned to where Bane was pacing along the riverbank.