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It’s disconcerting going to sleep as a wolf and waking up as a man. I’m in an enormous bed, warm and soft and smelling of sexy girl—but I am alone and can’t see anyone in the room, either.
As I shift on the mattress, aches make themselves known everywhere on my body, dragging a groan from my lips. Just as well that nobody is around to see what a wreck I am. Lying on my belly, my face buried in the crook of my arm, I allow myself another groan, trying to gather my wits, my thoughts and memories of... today? Yesterday? How about the last days and weeks?
Gods damn it. I’ve lost time again, memories. I fucking hate that.
Just... just a moment. Think, Dane, think.
Or is it Wolf?
King of the Diamond Court or mercenary in the human world? A male Fae or a wolf? A free Fae or a slave to the Empress? I remember...
Fuck. I think I’m going to be fucking sick. I push my forehead to my arm and swallow down bile. She used me. The Empress used me like a tool, like a piece of furniture, and I did everything she wanted. I don’t remember exactly...
...better that way.
I push myself up. I don’t want to remember. Some things are better left buried. And I need to find her.
Find Mina.
I swing my legs off the bed, let out a breath. Rub at my chest. A pain lingers in my heart. It’s as if the ice shard hasn’t yet completely melted. I look down at my bruised body and decide that I need clothes. Cover up the damage. Also, it’s chilly and now that I’m not a frozen mindless slave anymore, I feel it.
I feel... too much all of a sudden. Fuck. My hands are shaking. My eyes feel hot. What the fuck, right? It’s over. All the fear and despair and anger... it’s all over.
Why can’t I believe it? Why does my heart pound as if it’s about to break? Magic twists inside of me, the wolf begging to come back out.
No.
Even in my thoughts I hear a growl.
Mina. I need to find Mina.
Four poster beds, as it turns out, have those very useful four poles on which you can steady yourself in your attempt to get up on shaky legs and then hang on to until the black spots fade from your eyes.
Damn, I hate this shakiness. But all that time in the Empress’ tower, did I ever eat? Or drink? So thirsty. I spot a jar of water on a table and make my slow way there, my legs relearning to walk, to stand upright. I grab the jar and gulp down water, letting it run down my chin, my chest.
Feels good.
Putting down the jar, I grab a robe from the back of a chair and shrug it on. Everything... every sensation is almost too much, from the carpets under the soles of my feet, the velvet of the robe rubbing on my back and chest, the air from the open balcony door on my face.
The balcony.
I stagger to the open doors, step outside, throw a hand up to shade my eyes. The sun is rising on a clear sky, its rays blinding me.
“Wolf?” she says and I blink my tearing eyes until her shadowy form coalesces. “You’re awake!”
“Mina?”
She takes my hands and they’re solid and warm, so warm. Heat spreads into me and fuck, it burns. “I’m here.”
“Mina.” I drag her against me, into my arms, against my chest, bury my nose in her sweet-smelling hair. “Mina...”
“I couldn’t wake you. You slept for two days. I was afraid...” She hiccups a little. “Afraid for you. The healer was here, said that you had been through so much cold and fought so many spells that he couldn’t guarantee you’d wake up again and I...” Another hiccup. No, a sob. “I thought I’d lost you all over again...”
“I’m fine, I’m okay. I swear on all the gods.” I kiss her hair, her forehead, crush her to me. “We made it. You made it. You saved me, Princess.”
“I had to return the favor,” she mutters, trying for haughty but her voice breaks. She’s hugging me back for all she’s worth, her face buried in my chest, against my bare skin.
Muscles I hadn’t realized were tense, hard as a rock, begin to relax. I’m starting to believe it. Believe that it’s over, that we’re okay.
“Just... remind me not to transform into a wolf again,” I mutter. “Returning from that wasn’t pleasant.”
“But think how practical it would be for hunting hares and deer on the mountain,” she says and twists her head to grin up at me.
“Hunting hares and deer, huh? I’ll show you hunting.” I proceed to lightly bite the top of her ear where it pokes through her red hair.
She squeals and laughs and tries to get away from me but I haul her up in my arms and turn her around on the balcony. I don’t know if anyone is looking and if it’s improper for a king and his queen to act like children, but I don’t give a damn.
I will never get enough of her, of her laughter, of her smile. I chuckle as she throws her head back and closes her eyes.
Gently, I lower her feet back to the ground, letting her slide down my body until we’re standing in yet another embrace—only this time she’s looking up at me, her eyes red-rimmed but bright and joyful.
“Are you okay? I dreamed that I’d lost you. My time in that tower of ice all feels like a damn dream.”
“I’m all right.” Her hands move restlessly over me, patting my chest, my arms, sliding around my hips. “I still can’t believe we’re here. That it worked.”
I grin down at her. “I always knew you’d save me.”
“Did you, now?”
“Oh yes. From the moment I first saw you, I thought this is the girl who will save me.”
“When I was dying. Imprisoned in a tower. That was what you thought.” The look she shoots me is mighty skeptical.
“And I was right.” I bow my head to kiss her. “You saved me from the start. You believed in me, trusted me when I didn’t know who I was. Saved a part of me that had given up hope.”
“Wolf...”
“Other parts of me are also grateful,” I inform her because as she shifts against me, my body starts to wake up, my dick become interested and demanding involvement in the proceedings.
“Is that so?”
“And they want to express their thankfulness in great length.”
“How much length are we talking here?”
“Want to measure it?”
She snickers, and I love this sound too, so playful and free. Then she sobers. “Gods, I missed you so much.”
“Same here, Princess. Same here.” I kiss her then, at last, and groan as her taste hits my tongue, my senses, familiar and new, light and sexy. I pull her harder against me, letting her feel how hard I am for her, how fucking bad I want her.
She kisses me back just as desperately, her tongue tangling with mine, her hands gripping my shoulders, her breasts pressing to my chest, her nipples hard through the fabric of her light woolen dress.
Gods, she’s driving me crazy.
She breaks the kiss, panting, and I lick my lips, dipping my head for more. I kiss her cheek, the tip of her freckled nose, her eyelids, then unable to help myself I crush our mouths together again.
Too good. Too fucking good after all the shit we’ve been though, and I’m going to come just from this.
Cursing mentally, I pull back—but only to grab her and lift her in my arms. She throws an arm around my neck, blinking dazedly.
“What are you doing?”
“Taking you indoors. It’s fucking cold out here.”
“I’m not cold.”
“That’s firstly because you have the fire inside of you. And secondly...”
“Yeah?”
“Because you’re dressed. Once you’re naked, you’ll feel the bite of that wind coming down the mountain.”
She’s still laughing as I carry her inside and kick the doors closed before I throw her on the bed.
And then she stops laughing as I descend on her, climbing over her, shrugging off the robe and determined to rip her gown to shreds to get to her skin.
“You’re mine, Mina,” I whisper as I put my hands over her waist. “And I’m going to mark you, mark your skin like you marked my heart, Princess, and pleasure you until you’re screaming my name.”
She reaches for me and as she draws me up to lie on top of her, I know I’ve really come home.
***
We’re kissing like we’re drowning, drinking in each other’s breaths, slowly moving together. The layers of fabric between us are driving me insane. I need her, skin on skin, I need to sink inside of her. The memory of making love to her is rushing me.
“I can’t fucking wait,” I breathe against her sweet lips, “can’t take it slow this time, Princess. I need you so badly.”
“Same,” she whispers, “please, Wolf, hurry...”
I sit back and grab her gown and what do you know, I was right. The silk rips easily. I grin when she yelps, pull harder, tearing the dress in two, revealing her undergarments. “You said to hurry.”
“But—”
“You’re a queen. You can afford a new gown.” I wink at her and grab her silken underpants, yanking them down. Her yelp this time turns into a moan when I reach between her thighs and run my fingers through her wetness. “And you want me.”
“Yes,” she breathes, “yes...”
“You’re mine.” I stroke her, dipping my fingers inside, working her open for me.
“Yes, Wolf,” she moans. “Yours...”
So hot. Gods. I pull my fingers out, taste her on them. It gets me even harder. My chest feels crushed with want. I gaze down at her, sprawled underneath me, still in her black silken corset, her pussy spread and glistening, and I’m done for.
Grabbing my cock, I start pushing into her.
And just like that, memories slam into me—memories I tried to keep at bay, but fucking always gets my defenses down and I should have known better... though how could I have resisted my girl? Impossible.
And now... oh fuck...
“Wolf? Are you okay?”
Her voice barely registers, a distant echo as I’m spun around and thrown into the Empress’ tower, back into memory—her ice-cold hands on me, the pain she shoved into me, the despair of losing myself, of losing hope.
Of losing the girl whose name I carved in my flesh to remind me to stay alive and not throw myself off the balconies as I saw many a slave do. But then I lost her, too, her name the only thing that remained and—
“Wolf! Look at me!”
—sinking into the stinging-cold water, unable to breathe, dying a little every day regardless, made to sponge the Empress and then climb out to kneel for hours or days, waiting for her command, made to stroke my dick without wanting, without being aroused, just for her to laugh at me for not getting hard, for not finding anything to excite me.
For not remembering Mina anymore.
“Wolf.” Hands on my face—warm, so warm. The heat breaks me out of the memory and I find myself gasping for air.
“Mina.”
“You’re free. You’re free of her, my Wolf. Look around you. We’re home. Nobody will ever touch you again without your permission. Nobody will take your memories. I’ll watch over you.”
She’s as sweet as she is fierce.
I press my fist against my chest. “My heart... I feel there’s a splinter in there, still there, moving, cutting. I’m not free yet.”
“What do you need?” Her hand pressed beside mine, hot against my chilled skin, and I grunt as pain shoots through me. “I’ll melt that splinter. Melt any ice left inside of you.”
I open my mouth but no words come. The heat races through me, and for the first time in ages I feel I can breathe right, the ache in my chest that had become background noise fading. “You... Fuck!”
“Talk to me, Wolf. Is this okay?”
“Yeah, I...” I reach for her, cradle her face in my hand. “I think... I think it’s gone.”
“Damned Empress,” she mutters, frowning at my chest, her small hand still splayed there. “That’s cheating, leaving a piece in you—”
“I think I’ve had it for a long time,” I tell her softly. “I am after all an ice wolf, and losing my family... it lodged a piece of cold in me. The Empress cannot create new magic. She only uses what is there.”
She lets her hand drop, lifts her gaze to meet mine. Hesitates. “Wolf...”
“I love you.” I cup her face with both hands. “And you’re okay, you’re safe. I don’t need the ice anymore. For all I care, the wolf can slumber in me for as long as I live with no need to come out again.”
“But—”
“I can hunt hares just fine in this form.”
She finally smiles, though she’s still a little pale. “You scared me,” she whispers. “Did she make you... did she force you...?”
“I didn’t sleep with her,” I say. “She didn’t force me to pleasure her. It wasn’t like that. It has nothing to do with us.”
“But it has everything to do with you and how you suffered at her hands. There is no reason to hurry this. We have time. All the time in the world.”
“No, dammit, I want... I want you.” Purge fire with fire, ice with ice. Smash and melt all the fucking ice left in me. I’m still breathing hard and I hate how the memories still affect me. I dip my head to kiss her again. “I’ll be fine. I know it. With you by my side, I’ll be fine.”
“We will be,” she whispers and kisses me back. “Show me what you need.”
“You,” I breathe. “Only you, burning every inch of me.”
“That can be arranged,” she smiles and sits up, clambering into my lap, her hands on my face. “Let’s burn together, my love.”