“Golf and sex are the only things you can enjoy without being good at them.”
—Jimmy Demaret
James Hogg, age seventy-seven, collapsed on the first hole of a golf course in Fife, Scotland, and quickly died from a massive heart attack. After a brief pause in the game while an ambulance arrived to take Hogg's body away, the surviving members of his foursome continued their game. “I'm sure Jimmy would've wanted us to do that,” intoned his longtime friend and golfing partner.
Similarly, Donald DeGreve, sixty-five, suffered a fatal heart attack on the sixteenth green of a golf course in Winter Haven, Florida. Members of his golfing league respectfully stepped around his sheet-covered body, tastefully skipping from the fifteenth to the seventeenth hole to continue their games. “Life goes on, so we had to keep going,” philosophized one.
“It is almost impossible to remember how tragic a place the world is when one is playing golf.”
—Robert Lynd, sociologist
“Give me golf clubs, fresh air, and a beautiful partner, and you can keep my golf clubs and the fresh air.”
—Jack Benny
“If the sun is up, why aren't you playing golf?”
—Lee Trevino
“I am curiously, disproportionately, undeservedly happy on a golf course.”
—John Updike
“The more I see of golf, the more it reminds me of life. Or, rather, the more I see of life, the more it reminds me of golf.”
—Henry Longhurst
“When you watch a game, it's fun; when you play a game, it's recreation; but when you work at a game, it's golf.”
—Bob Hope
“If you want to take long walks, take long walks. If you want to hit things with a stick, hit things with a stick. But there's no excuse for combining the two and putting the results on TV. Golf is not so much a sport as an insult to lawns.”
—National Lampoon (1979)
“Golf is a good walk spoiled.”
—Mark Twain
“Golf has taught me that there is a connection between pain and pleasure. ‘Golf’ spelled backwards is ‘flog.’”
—Phyllis Diller
“I play with friends, but we don't play friendly games.”
—Ben Hogan
“Isn't it fun to get out on the golf course and lie in the sun?”
—Bob Hope
More important than actually spending time with your loved ones: The U.S. Open traditionally plays its final round on Father's Day.
“Golf is the most jealous of mistresses.”
—Arnold Haultain
“My psychiatrist prescribed a game of golf as an antidote to the feelings of euphoria I experience from time to time.”
—Bruce Lansky
“We learn so many things from golf—how to suffer, for instance.”
—Bruce Lansky
“I've had a good day when I don't fall out of the cart.”
—Buddy Hackett
“I know I am getting better at golf because I am hitting fewer spectators.”
—Gerald Ford
“If you don't succeed at first, don't despair. Remember, it takes time to learn to play golf; most players spend their entire lifetime finding out about the game before they give up.”
—Stephen Baker
“What other people may find in poetry or art museums, I find in the flight of a good drive.”
—Arnold Palmer