Fortunately – and perhaps sensing it would be a good moment to do so – Naomi excused herself, saying she needed to use the loo, which allowed me a few moments to bring Tyler up to speed with the situation.
‘Ah,’ he said, cottoning on to the tension immediately. ‘So, not the best timing then. Look, it’s fine. Why don’t I just tell Naomi there’s a bit of a crisis going on? We can just as easily nip out for food instead.’
‘Absolutely not,’ Mike said, saying exactly what I was about to. ‘We’ve been looking forward to meeting her, and it will be a nice distraction for Jenna, and this is supposed to be a special tea party, after all. And between you and me,’ he added, lowering his voice a little, ‘I’m not about to let some trumped-up little squirt from the council derail our day any further. Just don’t worry if Jenna seems a little stressed, okay?’
So, pizzas were duly ordered, drinks made and the table laid – I even whipped up a salad so Naomi didn’t think we had a veto on healthy food. Then I nipped in to tell Jenna that Tyler and his girlfriend would be joining us for food, hoping that Mike was right – that it would stop her brooding in the conservatory, and her angst about everything transmitting straight to Seth.
And, once the pizza had arrived, and Seth appeared to be rising to the occasion, I was even beginning to put it out of my own mind and relax.
‘So, Naomi,’ I said, smiling to myself at the way she and Tyler kept looking at each other, ‘what is it you do? I think Tyler did tell me, but I’ve got a memory like the proverbial sieve.’
‘I’m working at the leisure centre at the moment,’ she answered, ‘but in September I’m starting university. I’m going to train to be a teacher,’ she added shyly.
‘Oh wow!’ I said. ‘Is it primary or secondary schools you want to teach at?’ This girl was definitely more than just a pretty face, then, I thought. She had ambition. Just what I wanted for my Tyler.
‘Primary school,’ she said immediately and then cast her smile towards Seth. ‘I love little kids. I never had any brothers or sisters, only my little cousins, so I’ve always wanted to work with them.’
I smiled at Seth then too. ‘Did you hear that, sweetheart?’ I asked him. ‘Naomi is going to be a teacher, just like Mrs Sykes. You like Mrs Sykes, don’t you? Seth’s really enjoying nursery,’ I added, to Naomi. ‘He’s settled in really well there, hasn’t he, Jenna? In fact, he got a special award for being kind, only yesterday.’
Jenna, who’d mostly been a listener up to this point, rather than a contributor, blushed and cleared her throat. Then, to my dismay, I saw her eyes welling with tears. Oh, no, I thought, perhaps this had been a mistake after all. What must she feel like, being faced with this bright, confident young woman? Inadequate, obviously. On every level.
Naomi, sensitive, perhaps, to the complicated situation, tried to steer attention back to Seth. ‘Wow,’ she said, ‘that’s brilliant, Seth. What was the kind thing you did?’
But Seth was clearly sensitive to the situation too. ‘Shut up, lady!’ he shouted at Naomi. ‘You’ve made my mum cry. Go away!’ Then, to my horror (and surprise, since I didn’t know he had it in his hand), he launched something across the dining table at her. Which hit her, before bouncing back onto her plate. It was a small metal van.
‘Ouch!’ she said. ‘That hurt!’
Then before she could make light of it – something I was pretty sure she was about to do – Tyler chipped in.
‘That’s very naughty!’ he snapped at Seth. ‘Apologise to Naomi!’
Upon which, to my even greater horror and dismay, Jenna jumped up from her seat. ‘How dare you speak to my son like that!’ she yelled at Ty. ‘He’s only a fucking baby! How would you like me to get all in your face and scream at you? He didn’t mean it, for fuck’s sake!’
‘Jenna!’ I said. ‘There’s no need for that. Seth shouldn’t have thrown his toy. He knows he shouldn’t.’
‘It’s okay, Mum,’ Tyler said, his face now a mixture of anger and embarrassment. ‘No need for you to get involved.’ He then looked at Jenna. ‘If you don’t want him told off, then you should control him better, shouldn’t you? You okay, babe?’ he added, turning back to Naomi, who now looked as if she wanted the ground to swallow her up.
‘I’m fine,’ she said, ‘really. I’m sure he didn’t mean to hurt me.’
‘You okay, babes?’ Jenna sneered. ‘God. Seth, come on. Let’s leave everyone to their nice family tea and go back into Mummy’s room.’
‘Jen,’ I began.
‘But I want to eat my pizza!’ Seth whined.
‘NOW!’ she snapped. He didn’t argue. Simply slithered off his chair, a slice of pizza in hand, and followed meekly in her wake.
‘Honestly, Mum, that girl’s a nightmare,’ Tyler said, as the conservatory door slammed behind them. ‘I’m sorry, but she is. It’s her fault he behaves the way he does.’
I felt sick. I could hardly explain to them the extent of what had happened today, could I? The court, the solicitor, her ex, that bloody social worker. I could fully understand why Jenna had been at tipping point, but at the same time, I didn’t want to sound like I was making excuses for her behaviour. So I held my tongue.
‘I know, love,’ I said instead. ‘Are you sure you’re alright, Naomi, love? I’m so sorry. All I can tell you is that we’ve all had a really bad day and, well, Jenna isn’t dealing with it very well.’
‘I’m fine, Casey, honestly,’ Naomi said. ‘It was more the shock of it than any pain.’ She reached out for Tyler’s hand. ‘I’m fine, babes,’ she added, to a still obviously angry Tyler. ‘Forget it ever happened. As your mum says, it’s obviously just been a bad day for her. Let’s finish this gorgeous pizza, yeah?’
I smiled at her. What a generous spirit this girl had. Despite everything, I was happy we’d had this opportunity to get together. There was nothing to hide now, either – she had seen our house in full-on messy fostering mode. I picked up a triangle of pepperoni and did a mock cheers to her chicken and pineapple.
Tyler and Naomi didn’t stay for long once we finished our food; they were off to some party, then sleeping over at Denver’s, so I cleared up while Mike gave them a lift there.
‘I don’t envy Denver’s parents,’ he said, once he’d returned. ‘I had to make a stop at the shop on the way and saw the booze stash Ty came back out with. I bet there’ll be some sore heads in the morning.’
I laughed. ‘Oh, to be that young again,’ I said. ‘I remember those days, love, when every night was a party night, but we all still got up for work the next day. I don’t know how we did it, do you?’
Mike groaned. ‘I do, and, speaking of which, has Jenna come out yet?’
I shook my head. ‘Not yet. I did put my head round the door after you left but all three of them were blotto. Hardly surprising, given everything, so I didn’t disturb them. I’ll try again in a bit – we’ll obviously need to get Seth up to bed. And how about you?’ I added. I knew Mike had a big stock take in the morning. ‘Don’t you need to get some shut-eye yourself, love? You need to be in by half six, don’t you?’
He nodded. ‘Ugh! Yes, I do. If you’re sure?’
‘Course I’m sure. I’ll just give her another pep talk. Make sure she’s okay. Reassure her that we can put today behind us.’
‘Can we, though?’
‘Yes! Seriously, that Sam Burdett was talking out of his proverbial. I don’t know what his problem is, but he has clearly not read the manual. He had absolutely no business saying any of those things to her. And I shall make that very clear in my report tomorrow morning.’
‘But she did have contact with her ex. There’s no getting around that.’
‘Yes, but only to tell him it was over. Anyway, it’s not the point. Sam Burdett didn’t even ask her. Just dropped his bombshell without so much as asking her a single thing about it, let alone giving her a chance to explain. Which he’d no business doing anyway, because it’s the judge who’ll decide. And if she keeps doing what she’s doing – as in caring for those little ones – and she sticks to what she’s said about not seeing her ex again, then she still has a chance. She has a right to a chance.’
Mike kissed me on the forehead. ‘Of course she does, love. I just hope she doesn’t throw it away.’
They were Jenna’s kids. That was the bottom line. Her babies. Her flesh and blood. Yes, she’d messed up, and the authorities had been right to step in then. But the judge had decided to extend her that lifeline, so she, and only she, had the power to cut it off. I knew I needed to impress that upon Jenna more than anything, because she could so easily give up hope when hope wasn’t yet lost.
I knocked gently on the conservatory door and waited. I could hear the TV burbling away quietly in the corner, but then a barely audible ‘come in’.
Seth was on his mother’s bed, curled up, snoring softly, and Tommy was fast asleep in his crib. Jenna herself was sitting on the little sofa, feet tucked up under her, reading through what looked like official paperwork. She put it down when she saw me and half-smiled, half-grimaced.
‘I’m so sorry about earlier,’ she said. ‘I feel awful. I just lost it. I didn’t mean to. It just suddenly came over me, this massive feeling of anger. And regret, I suppose,’ she added. She’d clearly been thinking – a lot. ‘I had no business taking it out on Tyler the way I did. I’ll apologise to him – and his girlfriend – as soon as I next see them. I think it just hit me – that contrast, you know? How they don’t seem to have a care in the world – even if I know that’s probably not true – whereas I … I just can’t get it out of my head now. That in a few weeks, maybe less, they’ll just come in here and take them … And I’m supposed to just let them? Could you? I just don’t think I can.’
I sat down beside her on the sofa. ‘Sweetheart, I promise you, what I told you earlier is true. What Sam said about adoption is just one possible option. I can’t tell you that it isn’t, because then I’d be lying to you. But there are other options. Remember, that’s precisely why you’re here with us. To prove to the judge that in this case adoption’s not the best option. That you have what it takes to bring up your children. So if you keep her onside and keep doing things right, she’ll have no reason to go along with their suggestion, will she?’
Jenna smiled wanly. ‘I know,’ she said. ‘And thanks for the vote of confidence. It means a lot to know that at least someone has my back. And you’re absolutely right – sod him! I know I mustn’t let him get to me. And I’m fine,’ she added firmly. ‘Just tired.’
‘Yes, you need to get some sleep,’ I said. ‘Shall I take Seth upstairs for you?’
She shook her head. ‘No. I think best not to wake him. He’ll only scream the place down if he does and wake Mike up. I’ll keep him down here with me, if that’s okay?’
‘Of course,’ I said. ‘You’re right. Let’s let sleeping dogs lie, eh?’ I stood up, then bent down to place a kiss on her forehead. ‘Night, night, then, sweetheart. I’ll see you in the morning. New day, new start. You’ll feel better once you’ve slept.’
And sleep I did; for the first time in weeks, I drifted off feeling peaceful. I don’t know why – we were still in one unholy mess, for sure. But for all the rows and confrontations, and that bloody Sam Burdett, it felt as if we were getting somewhere. That I was getting to know Jenna. That I was beginning to understand her.
That I’d finally breached her barriers.
What a fool.
‘Casey! Casey!’
I woke up with Mike looming over me, shaking me by the shoulder. And the urgency in his voice made me sit up immediately, in that way a 4 a.m. phone call tends to do.
‘What’s wrong?’ I said, trying to blink away the darkness. ‘What’s the time?’
‘Half five. They’ve gone, Case. She’s packed up and left!’
‘What? Who?’ I asked, trying to unscramble my still-sleepy brain. Then it hit me. ‘What, Jenna? What – the kids?’
I reached for the lamp switch, squeezed my eyes shut against the brightness, then opened them to see Mike hoicking my dressing gown off the back of the bedroom door. ‘Yes, all of them. I double-checked. She’s left everything tidy –’
‘Did she leave a note?’
‘Not that I could see. The pram’s gone as well,’ he added, handing me my dressing gown. ‘I’ve got to go, love. I’m sorry. But you need to make some calls.’
‘No, no, it’s fine,’ I said, scrambling out of bed. ‘You get off to work, I’ll deal with it. God, Mike, where could she have gone? It’s the middle of the night still!’
‘To her parents? To Acapulco? To her flat, perhaps? Your guess is as good as mine, love. I’ll call you in an hour or so, once I’ve got the lads sorted, but now I really do have to go. Get on the phone, love, okay?’
New day, I thought. New start, I thought. Damn.