The following day, Jenna was staring at me open-mouthed across the breakfast table, Seth next to her, stuffing Sugar Puffs into his.
‘So, what you’re saying is, social services have been holding back the truth from the judge?’
Before we’d sat down for breakfast, I had casually let slip to Jenna that I’d been doing some digging, which I had, into the various options that in fact were available to her. And that adoption wasn’t the only alternative on the table if she didn’t win her case outright. She must have been mulling around in her head what I’d said and had just taken what she wanted from the conversation.
‘No! I didn’t say that,’ I said. ‘Please don’t say I said that, love – I’m in enough trouble as it is!’
Seth giggled. ‘Auntie Casey, your mouth is like an O. O for octopus.’
This was a thing with him currently. In every shape he found a letter. Now he was in nursery, he was coming on really well with his alphabet. Whereas, I reflected, he would have started with V for vodka if he’d still been languishing with his grandparents, for sure. ‘And your chin is all M for milky,’ I told him. ‘Now that you’ve finished your cereal and been a very good boy, you can go and have fifteen minutes’ TV before we get ready for school, so I can talk to Mummy, okay?’
He didn’t need telling twice. He jumped down from the table and scurried off.
‘But they have, haven’t they?’ Jenna said. Which I supposed was fair comment.
‘No, because the judge will already know there are other options. But it’s like anything in court, there’s two sides to the case. On the one side, there’s social services, who make their recommendations, and on the other there’s the lawyers who are acting for you. And what I’m saying is that I really think it’s worth speaking to your solicitor and asking him to ask the court if the various options can be explored, in the event that you don’t outright win your case.’
‘Which you don’t think I will.’
‘No, love, I don’t think you will. We both know that’s unlikely, but what isn’t a given is that the children will automatically be put up for adoption if you don’t. You have every right to ask him, and he should put them forward.’
‘And what are they then?’
‘Well, there’s fostering, of course – that was the initial thinking, as you know. Which would mean you had regular contact visits with the children and could in time start the process of trying to get them back again. Then there’s the option that they stay in care, so they are legally not yours yet, but living with you instead of a carer. Though, to be honest, I suspect that’s highly unlikely, given everything. Then there’s the option of an extension to the current assessment period, where we carry on doing what we’re doing for a period to be agreed.’
‘You’d do that?’
I nodded. ‘We’d do that.’
‘But don’t you want your life back?’
It was a thoughtful, perceptive question. Because yes, yes, I did, and if we did go down that road, I’d be kissing it goodbye for a while yet. Though, curiously, when I’d discussed it with Mike the previous evening, it had been me who’d been dithering, not Mike. In fact, he’d said yes immediately. We were in it now, he’d said. We had a duty to see it through.
‘It’s fine, love,’ I told her. ‘It’s not quite conservatory weather, is it?’
She nodded, looking thoughtful. ‘So I should tell him that, should I? That I want him to put all that forward to the judge, and because he’s working for me, so to speak, he has to do what I say, right?’
‘Sort of,’ I said. ‘But, love, please don’t ring him up all guns blazing, and being all demanding. We get the best results by using sugar, not salt.’
Jenna laughed. ‘Oh, Casey, you are funny,’ she said. ‘I don’t know what the hell you’re talking about half the time, but I swear down, I’ll be nice. I’m going to ring my brief as soon as we’re back from nursery.’
And she thought I sounded funny? Ring her brief indeed; she sounded like some kind of little gangster! But ‘ring her brief’ she did, the moment we got back from the school, and forgetting all I had said about taking the softly, softly approach, she did exactly the opposite and demanded her solicitor start up new paperwork immediately and put a new application forward. ‘He’s on the case,’ she informed me when she emerged from the conservatory. ‘Lol, and he really is, isn’t he? D’you think that’s where it comes from?’
‘That’s exactly where it comes from,’ I agreed.
In reality, however, this was nothing to do with me. I was fostering Seth and Tommy and what happened to Jenna now would only be my business if the court case went for her and she was granted the second chance she so needed. In which case, as we’d agreed, I would knuckle down and see it through.
But I was no less agitated by the uncomfortable nature of my role than I’d been when I’d agreed to plunge in. One thing was clear, after this, though – I would not be doing any more mother and baby placements. They’d been fine twenty, or even ten, years ago, but these days they took too much out of me. Not physically so much – I’d been pleasantly surprised on that front – but the emotional push and pull had been exhausting. And so much harder than I’d imagined – and I’d imagined it would be hard – because I knew that if Jenna lost her kids to adoption I would spend the rest of my life feeling terrible about it, because you can’t live with someone, specially someone so disadvantaged by the circumstances of their birth, and not want to help them. Not if there was anything you could do to help them. And in Jenna’s case, I genuinely did think she had a fighting chance of being a good enough mother to those boys.
And, of course, in acting on that impulse, that instinct, I was once again going to get my knuckles rapped.
The call came from Christine just after lunch, while Tommy was dozing and, since it was raining, Jenna and Seth were absorbed in some construction job at the dining table, with my craft box.
‘It wasn’t nice, Casey,’ she admitted, after the usual ‘How are things?’ ‘At first they were all talking about ending the placement there and then. Moving the kids to another foster carer and telling Jenna she would have to go elsewhere.’
I was aghast at this. ‘Seriously?’
‘Seriously.’
So, a tad more than having my knuckles rapped. I listened in silence as Christine explained how she fought my case in a rather tense meeting, citing how far Seth had come on with his behaviour in the last few weeks, and how she felt it would be detrimental to his development were he to be moved again. But there was no getting away from it, she explained to me gently. Their faith in my judgement had really been shaken.
‘I know that,’ I said, ‘and I completely understand it. In all my years of fostering, I’ve never hesitated like this in such a situation, and that’s why I had hoped that managers might understand that these were a really unusual set of circumstances.’
‘Which they were,’ Christine went on, ‘and that’s why everyone decided to allow the placement to continue, but it doesn’t alter the fact that whatever the reasons behind it, the children were at risk. I know absolutely that you desperately wanted to give Jenna the benefit of the doubt, I know that. But there were others in that meeting who even brought up the possibility of collusion …’
‘Seriously?’ I interrupted. ‘After what Sam Burdett said to her, that feels a bit rich. What about the part he played? Because I truly believed Jenna had reached the end of her tether after her argument with him. And I couldn’t blame her, either, not the way he spoke to her. God, I wish I’d noted that in my report now,’ I finished.
Collusion. I hated that word and it made me feel sick. It had only been said to me once before and that was years ago when I was fostering Emma and Baby Roman. One social worker had accused me of covering up risky behaviour by Emma because I had become ‘too close’ with her. Here we were again.
Christine was quick to jump in. ‘It was said in a written statement by Sam Burdett. He didn’t attend the meeting, by the way. He’s actually handed in his notice. He’s decided – surprise, surprise – that social work isn’t for him. He’s using up his annual leave till his end date. And don’t worry – I know you didn’t want me to include it, but I felt it was my duty to let everyone present know how he spoke to her. Not in mitigation of your actions, just as an aggravating factor in hers. Anyway, it’s all academic now. I’m not sure he’s been in the best of places, to be honest. I don’t know the details, but I suspect he’s well out of this kind of work.’
Which made me almost feel sorry for him. He always gave the impression that it was all a bit too much for him, but to throw in an accusation like that before he left made me feel angry, and not at all sorry for him.
‘Good.’ I said. ‘I never felt he was right for the job, and I cannot believe he thought I was colluding with Jenna. It’s absolutely ridiculous. Look, Chris, what do I have to do to move on from this? You know I made a mistake and I accept that, but I don’t want it hanging over me.’
She laughed down the phone. ‘I have that covered already, Casey,’ she said. ‘My manager has accepted that so long as we reflect on this at your next review, and you complete a refresher course before then on risk management, then you’ll have ticked all the relevant boxes and we can move on. End of.’
So I accepted my dressing-down, and what I had to do to make things right with as much grace as I could muster, but before Christine got off the phone, I wanted to know about the next social worker, because the children would definitely need one.
‘Good news on that front at least,’ she said. ‘It’s going to be Lizzie Croft. I think you’ve already met her – she was the one who brought Tommy to you from the prison? I know she’s been doing some family support work, but she’s actually a social worker too. She was taking a year of doing part-time, which led her to the role she’s been doing recently, but she’s agreed to come back full-time and take over Sam’s role and so there it is. New social worker for Seth and Tommy.’
That did lift my mood, pretty considerably. I had liked her instinctively, and I trusted that instinct. I also felt sure she’d build a really positive relationship with the children. And Jenna too, which was something that really mattered.
Well, might matter. There was still a major hearing to get through. And, without question, given the stern words I’d heard earlier, there was a high chance that Jenna could still lose.