ED
After Rebecca had been picked up I watched Sam all night, laughing with Mara, with Kate, with Claudia and with John. She chatted with Dad for ages, asking him lots of questions about his time in the navy, before the wife and kids came along, and he couldn’t have looked happier if he’d tried. She seemed to be making a point of not looking my way, although when Cov turned up she stared at me pointedly, her eyes flicking to Mara. ‘Could he be any more perfect for her?’ she was saying. ‘I know!’ I stared back and felt sky high. But she never sat with me or leant against the kitchen counter alongside me, like I hoped she would. Not until all the food was gone and everyone was piled into the sitting room did she come and find me. I was outside. Ever since working in Scotland, I’d got into the habit of spending a few moments outside at night. Of course Queen’s Park at night didn’t come close to the in-your-face vitality of the Highlands but after ten o’clock most people were at home and it was much quieter. I couldn’t wait for Katherine’s project to begin. She’d called me through the week. Yes, please, I’d said. More time in Scotland and ten weeks away from London on a job with Sam. Definitely.
‘They’re lovely, aren’t they?’ she said at my arm.
I turned, heart racing. Finally! Then I chided myself – must keep cool, must keep cool.
‘What are?’
‘The trees. I’m going to miss that park.’
‘You should have bought two,’ I said.
‘Two what?’
‘Two of those prints, the one you gave Mara. Didn’t it remind you of these trees?’
‘How did you know?’
I shrugged and looked at her cute round face, her frizzy hair all crinkly and golden under the street light, and I wondered why I hadn’t noticed the faint sprinkling of freckles over the bridge of her nose before.
‘So . . .’ She looked at me, cheeky and open and complicated and really very simple all at once and my whole body ached with how much I wanted to take her into my arms right there and kiss her like the mad dog I felt. But I wouldn’t. Not yet. She had to be completely Charlie-free. I couldn’t bear her chasing any part of him, even the whiff of his smart cologne in her mind. No, I would wait, just a little bit longer.
‘So?’ I answered, and looked out at the park again. I sensed her smiling and felt her lean her head on the side of my arm, and I smiled at the bare trees as they waved at us from across the street.