It is six p.m. and dusky, and Dana is sitting in the front seat of her Suburban watching the house. Through the window into the kitchen, she can see Jessica’s mother handing her a baby. Then Lynn takes one up herself and they stand facing each other, talking, first Lynn, and then Jessica, and then Lynn again, and at the same moment, as if playing a mirror game, each of them reaches her free hand up absently to cup a tiny fine-hair-covered head.
Dana is hungry. She thinks she might finally be ready to eat.
The dogs bark when she gets out of her car and walks across the hard-baked lot toward the other Suburban. A circle of the low sun reflects off the dark driver’s-side window and sets as Velasquez rolls it down.
“Why don’t you go find a motel close by,” he says. He smiles at her. “It’s my night to sleep in a car.”
“What if she doesn’t decide to spend the night?”
“Then I’ll call you and you can meet up with us.”
“Okay. Can I get you anything? Dinner?”
“I’m good. I’ve got plenty in my cooler.”
“All right.” Dana nods. “Thanks,” she says.
In the gray light along the state highway, the yellow neon sign on the roadhouse catches her eye from far away. COPLEY’S. There are plenty of cars in the lot, and it’s crowded inside, but Dana is alone, so it is easy to find a single seat at the counter in back, where the waitress has to raise her voice over the sizzling from the big griddle behind her. Dana orders what she thinks her stomach can handle. French toast without syrup. And a plain baked potato. And ice water.
“If you say so,” the woman says.
When she sets it down, Dana eats the French toast methodically, sipping the ice water between each bite, and then she lets the potato sit, watching the waitress fill coffee at all the tables until she can catch her eye and ask for a piece of aluminum foil and the check.
Dana drives along the road they traveled this morning. The potato wrapped in foil rolls on the seat beside her when she pulls into the lot of the motel next to the gas station. The Searchlight Inn, it is called. The lobby is just some metal office furniture in a room with brown curtains, and when she asks for a room, the old man behind the desk hands her a real key.
Dana’s room is small, with a brown bedspread that matches the brown curtains and a threadbare industrial carpet the color of corn chips.
She sets her backpack on the bed and next to it her BlackBerry and the foil-wrapped potato. On the wall above the headboard is a small black-and-white picture of the motel in a black plastic frame, and the window overlooks the vast flat rock- and dirt- and weed-covered valley that stretches out to snowcapped mountains in the far, far distance. Dana stands there looking at that. She stands there a long time, not really moving, and then she turns and takes her cell phone off the bed. There is a chair in the corner—a narrow upholstered chair with wooden arms—and she sits down in it. She has to sit up unnaturally straight in it, but she doesn’t seem to notice this, and she types a number into her cell phone, her face a calm nothing as it so often is, and listens to it ring. It only rings once.
“Dana! You’ll never guess what happened after I left you that message this morning!”
“Guess!”
“But you said I’ll never guess.”
“I know, but try!”
There is music in the background of his apartment. The Latin music again. She can hear his bird squawk. She can also hear water running.
“Are you cooking?” she says.
“I’m making rice. For rice pudding! I haven’t tried that yet in my marathon of soft foods; isn’t that a good idea? But wait! What’s your guess?”
Dana looks around her room from her position in the straight-backed chair. At the brown-filtered light and the backpack and the shiny potato on the bed. She says, “You decided you don’t love me.”
“What?! No, crazy chica! What would make you guess something like that?”
“I was trying to think of something ironic.”
“Wait, why would that be ironic?”
“Tell me what happened first.”
“Okay—I got in a car accident!”
Dana blinks.
“I’m fine, I’m fine. But here’s the amazing part.”
“No injuries?”
“No, I’m fine, but get this—”
“Did you go to a doctor?”
“Yes, but get this—I was on my way to buy more Boost!”
“But I bought you Boost.”
“I know, but I didn’t know that yet. Darius and Leslie and Dino drove me to the wedding in their rental car so I hadn’t been to the garage, and then on the way home it was four a.m. and we stopped at Denny’s for pancakes; that’s where I got the idea for rice pudding by the way, although theirs was plain and mine is going to have a flavor—piña colada!—and then on our way home from that we were driving along La Cienega and I saw RiteAid and I said, ‘Turn left! Turn left! I need Boost!’ and he did, and we got hit by a Babies’R’Us truck.”
“A Babies’R’Us truck.”
“Yeah. He wasn’t going very fast though, luckily.”
“So everybody’s okay?”
“Yeah. I spent the rest of the morning in the ER. They brought in an oncologist too just to make sure everything was all right with my treatment, but he said he didn’t expect any adverse effects.”
Dana stares at the shiny potato.
“Dana?”
“I’m here.”
“Isn’t that amazing?! We were just talking about that!”
“But you were talking about you dying in a car accident.”
“True! So I’m glad it’s not a total coincidence. Maybe somehow it was the fact that I didn’t actually need the Boost that saved me. This pineapple smells funny; maybe I’ll just make it coconut rice pudding. Okay, so what did you want to tell me?”
Dana looks again at the potato.
“Dana?”
She clears her throat. “I met someone from Aetna last night.”
“Weird!”
“I did him a favor—before I knew he was from Aetna—and he gave me his card and asked me to think about what he could do to thank me.”
“What kind of favor?”
“I delivered his wife’s baby in the back of a car.”
“Hot damn! Your job is nutty.”
“It wasn’t part of my job. I was on break, sort of. I was just—there.”
“Have you ever delivered a baby before?”
“No, but it was part of EMT training.”
“You’re like a superhero. You’re like Elastigirl. You need to get back in town so I can summon you.”
“He’s a senior claims examiner.”
“Excellent. Life is excellent.”
Dana smiles. “So you’re always saying.”
“Hey, do you think I cook the rice in cream, or add the cream after the rice is cooked?”
“I think you add it after.”
“I wonder what would happen if I cooked it in cream too. Maybe it would be even creamier. Even better.”
Dana smiles again.
He says, “So why would it be ironic if I’d decided I’d stopped loving you?”
“I’ve just been thinking about you a lot. I’ve been really missing you.”
“Ha! More excellent. This sharing my superhero with the masses thing isn’t all bad. I told you this trip might turn out to be good news for me.”
“But you got in a car accident.”
“Exactly. Good or bad, Grasshopper, you never know.”
“Then I met the Aetna claims manager.”
“Exactly! Warning: Jumbo load of shit may contain pony. For example”—there is a sound of metal striking metal in the background—“I think this cream is burning.”
“I’m not sure you’re supposed to boil cream.”
“On the other hand, maybe it will just taste caramelized.” Another clang. “Should I be watching those sexy Venetian blinds of yours for action anytime soon? You’ll probably be back tomorrow, right? To your little Clark Kent lair?”
“We’ll see.”
“Ta-da! You’re getting it.”
She laughs. “We’ll see.”
Dana hears a shrill beeping in the background through the phone.
“Oh shit!” Ian says. “That’s the smoke detector. I’ve got to go. Okay, mine will be the apartment with the charred curtains across the way. Bye!”
Dana continues listening a moment. Then she takes the phone from her ear and presses the red button and rests it on her pant leg, holding it there with one hand. She looks around the room, at the potato and the backpack. The room is so brown. The light is so dark and thick through the heavy curtains. The bed is bowed in the middle from the sleeps of people she will never know. And there are no sounds at all. There is a hushing noise from the passage of cars on the highway in the distance, but nothing individual, no evidence of coming or receding, just the white noise of it all.
Dana picks up the phone and calls him back.
The smoke detector is still wailing in the background, except louder now. Dana smiles.
“Hold on!” he says. “I still haven’t got it.”
“Can I just wait? Are you going to take the battery out?”
“That’s why it’s so loud. I’m on a chair right now trying to pry the top off.”
She listens to it scream, and underneath that, a little rattling sound of metal against plastic. Then it stops.
“Phew!” he says. Then: “The best! I love that you called me back. You must really like me.”
“There was something else I wanted to tell you before.”
“What was it?”
“You were right about something else the night of your avocado party.”
“What?”
“I didn’t know it at the time or I would have told you. I only figured it out after I left, and then you were having your party and I thought I should wait and tell you alone, which I was going to do at the wedding, and then I got called for travel duty and I didn’t want to text it so I had to wait for a break.…”
He laughs. “It can’t be that bad. What is it?”
Dana clears her throat. “I was pregnant.”
“What?! No way! That’s fantastic!”
“No. I’m trying to say—I was pregnant. I bought a test at the drugstore after I left your apartment and tested positive. And then last night I went into the bathroom and my period had started, which means I miscarried.”
“Oh. Well … shoot. Um … so you’re probably happy about that, though, right?”
Dana looks around the bark-colored room, at all its dark, closed, straightened elements. The pillows are plumped and square, but there is that sag in the middle of the bed that reveals that people have slept there—many people, and for years and years. She looks at her legs in the too narrow chair. And her shoes aligned in the gold shag.
“I don’t know.”
“You don’t know?”
“I don’t know.”
“Marry me!” he says.
She laughs, a kind of snorting explosion that also releases tears she reaches up to wipe immediately with the back of her hand. She is smiling again. “Shouldn’t I try sleeping a night in your bed first?” she says.
“Is that a yes?”
She starts to cry.
“Dana?”
“I’m sorry.”
“For what? Is that—are you crying?”
“Yes.”
“Holy smokes!” There is some clear sympathy in his voice, but also a delight he can’t repress. “What does it mean?”
“I just—” Her head tips back and she looks at the ceiling. It is covered in plaster with the texture of cottage cheese. She closes her eyes. “Uch. It’s so awful.”
“Try me.”
“I feel so sorry for you.”
“I like you, Dana. Remember? I like you.”
“I can tell I need to think about this alone. Without you listening and waiting for my answer there. And it just seems so sad, for me even, but especially for you, that I’m a person who is better at everything—working, training, thinking, feeling, everything—alone. Isn’t that tragic? Who wants to marry that? Isn’t that your worst nightmare?”
“We’ll see, sweet girl,” he says gently, and he hangs up the phone.