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Lo
Update: it’s graduation week. Tobe and I still aren’t talking. Jase and I are back on track, and he graduates on Wednesday.
Tonight, my parents aren’t home. They’re back together, and they’re celebrating their seventeen-year anniversary late. It was last week along with my birthday. Ironic, no?
I’ve invited Jase and a bunch of our friends over to celebrate the last of our finals. The year is nearly over, and Jase leaves for Brookewood University in a few months. The knowledge has me uneasy. It’s going to be hard for me to stay in this with him. He needs to focus. I need to focus, and he’s easily distracted by tits and a nice ass.
I’m a prime example.
I realize I’m being harsh, but he’s a guy. Hell, he’s the guy, the football player who can have any girl he wants, the one who takes what he wants and doesn’t apologize. And that scares me. He was so easily distracted the night I met him, and now, he’s leaving and could easily go back to his old ways.
I’m sitting on my bed, still not prepared for our future and dwelling on everything per usual when Jase’s text comes through. I’ll be there in seven-ish minutes, babe. Be ready!
I don’t respond. It’s unnecessary because he’s probably driving by now. Standing up and shaking off the fear that holds me back so often, I dress in the same dress I met him in. It’s fitting.
Ellie’s preparing all the important stuff downstairs while I wait for my boyfriend. Boyfriend. Such a strange word. That’s exactly who Jase is though, my boyfriend.
Knock. Knock. Knock. It sounds like someone’s beating down my door. The music isn’t even loud enough for that to be necessary.
After I open the door, a drunken Toby stumbles through, and I barely stabilize him. He reeks of whiskey and bad decisions. I eye him, wondering what to do with this messy friend of mine.
“Lo,” he slurs, his eyes grossly glossed. His clothes are disheveled and dirty, almost as if he hasn’t been home or been clean in days. I’d say it’s the passing of his dad, but we all know he’s just as happy as Jase.
How did he get here?
The anger bubbling inside of me rips out of me. He’s drunk and somehow is here. Like Brant, his selfishness guides him. His moral compass is whack and he needs to fix it before he hurts himself or someone else.
“Did you drive here, Tobias?” I growl, my fists now balled at my sides so I don’t throat punch him.
“N-no, Ja-ake drop-ped me off-f.”
I want to smack him with some honor and take away his stupidity in the same motion. Instead, I lead him to the living room couch.
He watches me, something sad in his eyes. “I-I l-love you, Lo.”
I believe him, but it’s the wrong time, and Jase is who I want.
“You’re drunk,” I reprimand, unable to feed his sorrow. It can’t be me. I can’t be who he wants. I’ll only break him.
With as fluid motion as a drunk person can have, he grabs my face with fervor and kisses me. He tastes of booze, and it’s not appealing or welcome. I’m already pulling back, not reciprocating, when his body leaves mine in a quick movement.
In front of me is my boyfriend, Tobe’s brother, Jase. He’s fuming, and if we were a part of Looney Tunes, he would have steam rising from his reddened ears, but his anger isn’t directed at me at all.
“Why are you here?” he nearly spits in Toby’s face, his scowl full of hatred and disgust. “You’re no different than Brant, you know?”
Jase doesn’t land a punch. He just holds Tobe by his collar and waits for some excuse.
“You took her from me!” Tobe yells. It’s the first time I’ve ever seen Toby look stricken with grief. You’d think I killed his dog.
“She’s mine!” Jase returns with malice.
“I wasn’t yours to have,” I scream at Toby, hating how these men think they have some hold over me.
I turn to Jase. My frown reaches him too. “I’m only yours by choice, don’t pull any of that controlling bullshit.”
His face softens. He nods releasing his brother.
“Get sober, and stop being a person you aren’t,” I whisper to Tobe. I reach up to him on my tiptoes and kiss his cheek. “Be the man I know you are, and come find me when you rediscover that person. I’ll miss you.”
“I-I love y-you, Lo. I’ll n-never stop,” Toby croaks, his voice cracking with his admission.
He turns, and I notice Francis offering Toby a ride home. Hopefully, Francis wasn’t pregaming with the others. No, he wouldn’t offer to drive if he’s had anything to drink. He’s smarter than that.
Jase sidles up to me, cupping my nape, swiping his thumb over my lips. I know he’s doing it to make me forget whose lips were just on mine, but it’s tender and loving rather than possessive.
“I want these lips forever, Loren. Let me have them,” he demands in the softest manner.
It’s more of a plea, and I’m not sure how the hell one responds to that. I push into him, hoping he takes the hint and kisses me.
He does.
Boy, does he fucking kiss me.
Jase and I have shared many kisses in this short relationship, but this one is different than the others. It’s demanding, all-consuming, and angry. His tongue spears into my mouth, and he absorbs my moans. It’s a battle of our mouths, and I’m not sure if either of us will lose because we’re frantic, sloppy, and careless.
When he lifts me, I’m mindless, wrapping my legs around him immediately. His abs rub across my panties, and it’s heavenly.
Heat licks my skin, making me dampen and ready for him. I’ve never craved anything sexual until Jase came along. Yeah, I thought dudes were drop dead gorgeous and even had crushes on them, but this burning sensation where clothes are scratchy and claustrophobic? I’ve never experienced it before.
He carries me upstairs to my room, and I’m not entirely sure how he did it walking backward. When he lets me down and then presses me onto my mattress, the nerves come. It’s no longer distracting without his lips, and my lungs forget how to pump oxygen.
Inhale, exhale. Breathe.
“Baby, baby, baby,” Jason coos, seeing my panic. “I’ve got you, and I’m never fucking letting go.”
And then he’s breathing air back into my body with his mouth, bringing me back to life with each brush of his lips. When our clothes are suddenly gone, I don’t question it. When his face finds its way between my legs, I scream. It’s so goddamn loud that I’m sure the entire party downstairs hears me cry out.
His tongue strokes me, swirling and flicking the little bundle of nerves between my thighs. Each shudder that wracks my frame makes him kiss and suck harder.
“Jase!” I scream as the orgasm takes over my entire body, making me whimper and spasm at the same time.
His eyes meet mine, as hungry, desperate, and beautiful as the day we met. He slowly kisses up my body, his hot mouth feathering breaths across my sensitive flesh. When his mouth reaches mine and he strokes his tongue with mine, I moan. I taste myself. His entire chin, mouth, and cheeks are soaked from me. It’s the single most erotic kiss I’ve ever shared with him.
“Peaches. I swear it’s fitting with how sweet you are,” he whispers across my lips. If it wasn’t dark, he would see how heated my cheeks are right now.
“Jase,” I say softly, unsure of how to ask him to make love to me.
“I’m going to love you now, Lo. Truly, insanely, and wholeheartedly.”
“Fuck.”
“Exactly,” he murmurs and gives a low, husky chuckle.
He teases my opening, rubbing my release across my hole with his cock. He’s so large I know it’s going to hurt when he enters me.
“Fuck,” he groans, sounding almost pained. “I don’t want to hurt you.”
“You won’t,” I lie, but I know he will. I’m a virgin. It’s always said to hurt the first time.
He enters me, pushing in. Jesus, he’s huge. I feel him stretching, no, tearing me. There’s a pinching, a tightness, and then it’s gone. Jase’s cock feels like he’s ripping me in two. Tears trail my cheeks, dripping to my ears, and I can’t stop them.
“You okay, Peaches?” His voice is pure gravel. He feathers gentle kisses on my face.
“Yes,” I grunt, keeping my tears at bay the best I can.
“Want me to stop?”
“No.” And I don’t. Thankfully, my voice must have not given away from the stiffness in my chest.
He pushes further in. “Breathe, Peaches. Inhale, exhale.”
My heart flutters, beating rapidly with his words. My inner mantra coming from his lips makes me relax, my inner walls no longer tensing around him.
“That’s it, baby,” he coos, finally all the way in.
After he waits a moment for me to adjust to his girth, he begins moving, and it’s deliciously painful, a mixture of pain and absolute bliss.
“You’re so tight, so fucking perfect,” he groans with each thrust.
My moans follow suit, this intense sensation building inside of me. Sweat trickles down my forehead, and he’s kissing me again.
“Jason!”
He grunts from me calling his name repeatedly, one hand digging into my waist while the other grips my left tit. He kneads it, trying not to grip too tight, but I can feel him swelling. He’s almost ready.
It’s nothing I imagined, but I’m already slightly addicted to the pain that comes with the release. He continues to pump into me in earnest, my walls squeezing around him, milking him, and bringing me the best high of my life.
“Lo, fuck, baby,” he nearly cries out, biting my collar, sucking and surely leaving marks. “You’re all mine, Peaches.”
And when he comes, I feel the warmth in me. It’s a feeling I’ll never be able to describe perfectly. It’s wet, smooth, and hot, and when it leaks out of me, trailing to my ass, I feel like he marked me. I feel like his release coated me as his, claiming me in a way no one else has. It isn’t until I come down from my high that I realize he didn’t wear a condom.
I’m never this reckless. Ever.
His body is heavy over mine as he kisses my dampened forehead and rolls off me.
“We didn’t wear protection,” I mutter softly, knowing I had to say something. Even if it ruins my first time, I had to.
Fear like ice water coats me. My first fucking time, and I already screwed up. I’m not on birth control. I never saw the reason to be. I’ve always had light periods, and until Jase, sex wasn’t in the books for me.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck.” He throws his arm over his eyes then breathes evenly. He rolls over, cupping my chin, kissing me with so much love. “If anything happens, I’ll be the best fucking dad.”
And at that moment, I knew he would be. I never doubted him, not really.
“I know it’s too soon, Peaches, but I love you. I’ve never cared about much in my life other than getting away from my family, but you’re different. Something about you makes me want to stay and build a life.”
“I-I love you too,” I whimper.
A new wave of tears flood out from me. I don’t know how it’s possible this early on, but my mind and heart are in agreement.
I love Jason Collins.