Suppose that what I write might one day be useful to others, — might make the Judge pause in his decision, and might save the wretched (innocent or guilty) from the agony to which I am condemned, — why should I do it? What matters it? When my life has been taken, what will it be to me if they take the lives of others? Have I really thought of such folly? — to throw down the scaffold which I had fatally mounted!
*****
What! sunshine, spring, fields full of flowers and birds, the clouds, trees, nature, liberty, life, — these are to be mine no more!
Ah, it is myself I must try to save! Is it really true that this cannot be, that I must die soon, — to-morrow, today perhaps; is it all thus? Oh, heavens! what a dreadful idea, — of destroying myself against the prison wall!