21

Logan with his hair scraggly, his lips cracked, and his skin stained with dust. His eyes widen as they take in my face, like he can’t believe it’s really me.

“Clementine?”

My heart slams against my rib cage. A drop of rainwater hits my nose.

He’s not really here. He’s a fake, simulated body. But he’s connected to a life force that can feel pain and knows he’s in here, and I can’t breathe because that means they have him. They have Logan, and I might never see him again because what if he gets hurt in here? What if he doesn’t make it?

I swallow. “What are you doing here?”

He takes a step toward me, and his fingers brush my jawline where my scar used to be. “I didn’t think I’d see you again,” he whispers.

Another drop of water hits my hand. A krail caws behind me.

I glance over my shoulder to check on the other figures. They’re much closer.

I turn back to Logan and clench my fists tighter. “You have to get out.”

“I missed you.” His fingers skim my clavicle, leaving tingles of fire on my skin. Lightning flashes in the sky.

“Who are they?” he says softly, and cocks his head at something behind me.

They’re men, I see now. They wear the black armor of Surface officials, and each of them holds a thin staff with a sharp, curved blade at its end. They move toward us, closing the distance at a much quicker pace than I reckoned.

They must be the danger.

“Come on, let’s go.” I take Logan by the hand, but he pulls away.

“Go where?”

Rain drips on me and wind tugs at my hair as I take in the desert again. There’s nothing for miles and miles but tumbleweeds, cacti, and the chain-link fence.

The fence. On the other side of it, we wouldn’t be completely safe, but I’d feel safer. That’s better than nothing.

“Clem,” Logan says.

I turn to see the men break into a run. Their boots pound, leaving a trail of dust. The distance between them and us is closing fast. When they reach us, they’re going to slice those blades through our necks—they’re going to kill us. Cadet Waller said we could die in here.

I shove Logan toward the fence.

“Don’t climb the fence.” Commander Charlie’s hoarse voice rings through the dome, echoing off walls I can’t see.

Thunder roars, and rain lashes against my face.

I want to scream and punch something and cower all at once. The officials are close now, so close. And I won’t stop moving, but I hear the voice and can’t move an inch.

This is a test, and I have to follow orders.

But the men will kill me.

But I have to pass this.

But Logan will die.

But Sandy said to trust and obey.

“Don’t climb the fence,” Commander Charlie repeats.

The men come closer.

“Logan, climb it!” I ram into him.

His brows furrow. He doesn’t move. He doesn’t say anything.

What’s wrong with him?

“Use your friend,” Commander Charlie says. I swear I can hear the smile in his voice.

“What?”

“Use your friend as a shield.”

Logan’s lips part, and even though he doesn’t touch me, I feel his fingers brush my skin again, in their perfect way.

Still, he says nothing. The real Logan would say something. He would help me figure out what to do instead of just standing there, not doing anything.

I shake my head and blink rain out of my eyes. “No.”

“Do it.”

“Logan, climb the fence.”

“Do it, or you fail.”

I can’t think, can’t breathe, can’t do anything, but I have to do something. The men are mere feet away now—mere feet and they’re going to beat me, they’re going to kill me if I don’t follow orders.

Whoever this fake Logan is connected to, it’s not the real Logan, so I can do what Commander Charlie wants—

But what if he’s real?

He’s not real—

What if I’m wrong?

He stands beside me and does nothing. His eyes don’t even water.

Boots splash in mud. Blades glint in the torrent as the men raise their staffs over their heads to slice through my skin. To end my life.

A strangled cry bursts from my throat. Logan is not real.

I grab him, and he doesn’t fight me. He lets me grab hold of him. I want to keep holding on to him and never let go, but I don’t. I throw him into the path of the men and their weapons. The slice and crunch and crack echo through the dome. They don’t slice his neck—they slice into his arms and legs and hands, reducing him to bloody limbs.

Logan screams, and my heart shatters. Glass fragments in the dirt and dust.

Rain pelts my body, making puddles in the dirt at my feet. I shove my fingers into my ears and squeeze my eyes shut, but it does no good. I can’t stop hearing him. I can’t stop seeing him collapsing in his blood. The tears won’t stop streaming down my cheeks.

It’s not him—not really—no way—they’re just pretending—they won’t hurt him—

It’s only a test, only a simulation, and he’s fake—I hope—but I can’t stop sobbing. Because all of this could be real as life, real as moonshine, and I might have killed the boy I love.

*   *   *

When I open my eyes, I’m ready to scream and claw my nails into Commander Charlie’s face, or maybe collapse and never get up, but it’s not over.

I stand on the edge of a cliff, and night has fallen. The rain has stopped, but I’m drenched in water. Far below me, so small I have to squint to see them, waves froth on a sandy shore. The moon hangs over me in the sky, giant and terrible, shimmering pink through the shield.

My hands tremble as I run them along my arms. My teeth chatter from the cold. I wonder what they’re going to make me do next.

pew-pew

p-p-p-p-p

Black and white lines flicker across the sky.

I stop breathing.

ZAP

A flash, and the acid shield wipes out across the sky. There’s no barrier between me and the moon’s poison.

There’s no way. There’s no way.

I want to turn and run as far as I can, and I’d do it right this second if my legs weren’t shaking so badly. They said I could die in here. That acid can really kill me. So why include it in this test, unless they want me dead?

My heart pounds so fast I can’t think straight.

This is still a test. Sandy said to follow orders.

“What should I do?” I try to steady my voice. It doesn’t work at all.

“Do nothing,” Commander Charlie says, calm and collected.

Adrenaline pumps through my veins. I’m angry and I will not stand here and do nothing. The second the acid reaches me, I’m done for. It’ll take me ten minutes to die. Ten minutes of heart palpitations and screaming and lungs constricting and my skin charring black.

The acid will reach me soon.

I turn my head around wildly. A rock would do the trick. I could bash my head in, quick and painless. At least more painless than acid corrosion.

But there aren’t any rocks. I’m standing on a cliff, yet all the rocks are either too big or too small. I snatch a jagged one from the ground that’d leave a bloody scratch in my head, but that’s not good enough.

With a snarl, I launch it into the air. It cascades in a high arc before dropping over the side of the cliff, careening toward the ocean.

The ocean.

I take a step and set my feet upon the cliff’s edge. Loose rocks slide beneath my feet. They tumble to the waves below. No doubt there are rocks down there too. Jumping into that water would feel like slamming into a brick wall, and the boulders would smash me to bits. But it’d be less painful than moonshine.

My uneven heartbeat pounds through my ears, the last reminder of my mortality. My limbs still shake, and Logan, Logan, Logan is all I’m thinking. I shouldn’t have let Commander Charlie hurt him. I shouldn’t have done it.

“Don’t jump,” Commander Charlie’s voice softens and echoes through the simulation. “Stay where you are.”

I grab another rock from the ground and fling it into the sky, screaming. “You’re supposed to protect me!”

“Trust me.”

I drop to my knees and jam my face into my palms. Choking sounds bubble up from my throat. I don’t want to die. I don’t want to die.

Please don’t let me die.

I lift my head and stare at the sky, where moonshine rushes toward me in a cloud of pink mist. Tears fill my eyes.

If I don’t follow his orders, Charlie will kill me even if I get out alive—

But I’ll die in here—

But it’s not real—

But Cadet Waller said I will—

A sob shakes out of my throat and I wrap my arms around my body, squeezing myself and closing my eyes. I breathe in and out again, trying to forget where I am and what I’ve done. Trying to ready myself for the sting of the moonshine and the horrible wrenching feeling I know is coming.

It is the feeling of death.