“It’s for the best,” Dash told Noelle several hours later when they met up at Blackberry Hill. “In your heart, you know that.”
Did she? Noelle wondered disconsolately as they brought in trays of prepared food for the open house. The last few weeks had been the most emotionally fulfilling of her entire life. She had been ready—and willing—to tell the sexy detective everything and build a life with him. Only to discover Kevin McCabe was every bit as capable of lying and cleverly misleading her as her parents had been. They had used her to further their greed, then abandoned her at the first sign of trouble. Kevin had pretended to accept her, flaws and all, while secretly furthering the investigation he knew would give him reason to end their tryst. The cruelty of his deception cut deep, obliterating the first real Christmas spirit she’d had in years. As much as she loved Miss Sadie and wanted the holiday party Dash was throwing for his beloved aunt to be a success, Noelle wasn’t sure she could get through the event. At least not with her professional cheerful demeanor intact.
“I understand passion, Noelle,” Dash continued earnestly. They went back outside to her van. “Heaven knows I’ve had my fair share of flings. But when it comes to settling down and taking on a lifetime partner—a father for your son—you’ve got to look for more than just an accelerated heartbeat and the excitement that being with someone so different from us brings.”
Noelle carried the bakery goods, while Dash toted the staples for the bar. “You and I aren’t the same, Dash. I didn’t have a privileged upbringing.”
“You’d never know it by looking at you now.” His gaze swept over her. “You’re an incredibly sophisticated woman.”
Noelle guessed at the nature of Dash’s thoughts. “Too sophisticated for this one-horse town?”
He helped her out of her coat, then shed his. “You’re a city girl. Always have been, always will be.”
“Not by choice,” Noelle corrected, striding over to the sink to wash her hands. Her parents had needed the anonymity of a large population to hide in. Eventually, Noelle had needed the same to preserve her secrets. Later, when she had married, Michael’s work had necessitated they live in Houston. When her husband died, Noelle had stayed because that was where her business was. She’d never even looked at the possibility of residing in a small town, until the past couple of weeks. The truth was she’d loved spending time in Laramie almost as much as being with Kevin. For all the good it had done her, she reflected sadly, now that her shame had caught up with her once again.
Dash brought in the china serving platters from the dining room. “You have to put what happened with your parents behind you.”
Noelle artfully arranged slices of fruit and cheeses on a tray. “I’ve been trying to do that.”
He began setting up the bar. “And you’ve succeeded.”
She fit specialty breads into cloth-lined baskets. “Really? Then why did my past just rear its ugly head?”
Dash stopped what he was doing and clasped both hands on her shoulders, forcing her eyes up to his. “Because you put your hope and faith in the wrong person,” he told her. “I’m the one you should trust, Noelle. I’m the one who will make you happy.”
The old look was back in his eyes. The look he’d had when they first met, when he’d thought that maybe the two of them should start dating. Wishing she could forget her romantic notions about what love should be, and just appreciate what was between her and her trusted friend, Noelle offered a hesitant smile. She knew Dash would do anything for her and Mikey, including rescue them from the mess she had made of things with Kevin McCabe. If only she had pledged her heart to someone like Dash, who would allow her to keep her guard up, instead of someone like Kevin, who had demanded she open herself up to him, heart and soul.
“I’m the one you should have been turning to the last few weeks, Noelle,” he said, reprimanding her softly.
Noelle saw the mixture of jealousy and determination in Dash’s eyes. Knew he deserved better than she could ever give. Yet he would undoubtedly settle for so much less, if only she would agree to turn their relationship from friendship into something more.
So why couldn’t she do it? Something was stopping her—but the question was what. Foolish dreams of a man who was now out of her reach?
Dash returned to his usual matter-of-factness. He regarded her fondly, all capable attorney once again. “We’ll talk about this later, at the appropriate time. Right now, I’d better go over to Laramie Gardens and pick up Aunt Sadie.”
Noelle glanced at the clock. Dash was right. The completion of this far-too-complicated discussion could wait. Guests would start arriving in the next ten or fifteen minutes. She still had a lot to do to finish setting up.
The next few hours passed rapidly. Blackberry Hill was filled with old friends—and new—by the time Miss Sadie arrived in her wheelchair. Dash poured drinks for everyone. Noelle answered the door, made sure the buffet was continually replenished with holiday goodies, and paid special attention to the guest of honor.
She had just emerged from the kitchen, with another cup of cinnamon tea for Miss Sadie, when Dash’s aunt motioned her closer. Sadie accepted the steaming beverage, then gestured for Noelle to back up just a little. “Not too far…” she cautioned mysteriously. “Yes, right there.”
Figuring it was some sort of Christmas surprise—maybe a toast in her honor for the success of the gathering?—Noelle complied. Dash stepped in close beside her. Too late, Noelle realized they were directly beneath the mistletoe.
“The floor is all yours,” Miss Sadie told her nephew triumphantly.
Noelle turned to her old friend.
Dash stood before her, a small blue velvet box in his hand.
The room grew hushed.
Oh, no…Noelle thought.
It was too late.
He flipped open the lid of the box and revealed a sparkling diamond ring inside. “Noelle Kringle,” he said, going down on one knee. His eyes locked with hers. “Would you do me the honor of marrying me?”
“THERE YOU ARE!” Laurel said breathlessly. It was 11:00 p.m. on Christmas Eve and all the businesses in town were closed. The only people who seemed to be out were those attending midnight church services.
Laurel folded her arms in front of her, shivering in the cold, wintry air, as Kevin finished feeding coins into the vending machine outside the supermarket. “You were supposed to drop by Mom and Dad’s on your dinner break.”
Kevin popped the tab on his can after retrieving a soda. “I was busy.”
“You were avoiding.”
Having his family ask questions about Noelle and Mikey? You bet he was. Kevin took a long drink of soda. He shot his happily married baby sister a disparaging glance meant to chase her away. “Like you’d know anything about my life.”
Laurel arched her brow in typical know-it-all fashion. “I’m aware Noelle just got a marriage proposal from someone else a couple of hours ago.”
Kevin felt a stab to the gut that had nothing to do with the amount of caffeine he had ingested on an empty stomach. With effort, he kept his demeanor supercool. “Yeah? How do you know that?”
Worry lit Laurel’s gentle eyes. “Because I happened to be at Blackberry Hill, dropping off Mikey, shortly after the big event.”
Which meant Dash Nelson had gone through with his plan to propose to Noelle in a room full of people. Kevin quaffed the rest of the drink. Aware that all the beverage had done was make him colder, he crumpled the empty can in his fist. “I gather she said yes?”
Laurel leaned against the storefront. “She didn’t say no.”
Briefly, hope flared, then was quickly snuffed out. Kevin stared at the streetlamps shining overhead. “Not saying no is the same as saying yes.”
As usual, Laurel was slow to give in. “Not necessarily.”
And he’d thought he had a tough time with Rio Vasquez earlier. “Why do you think this matters to me?” Kevin strode toward his squad car.
Laurel bounded ahead, to keep him from opening the door to the driver side. “Because she’s in love with you and you’re in love with her.”
Kevin felt a stinging in his eyes that had nothing to do with the cold wind cutting through his clothing. “Not anymore.”
Laurel tipped her chin up stubbornly. “I know you care about her more than you’ve ever cared about any woman in your entire life.”
Kevin scowled. “I don’t remember telling you that.”
She shrugged. “You didn’t have to say a word. It was written on your face every time you looked at her.” She stepped nearer, a pesky little sister at her worst. “You. Love. Her, Kevin McCabe.”
Kevin mimicked her emphatic tone. “It. Doesn’t. Matter.”
Laurel blew out a gust of air, looking as if she wanted to throttle him. “What happened? You have to talk to someone. It might as well be me.”
She had a point there, Kevin realized. He leaned against the squad car. “Noelle found out I investigated her.”
“So?” Laurel looked confused. “That’s your job.”
If only he had contained his curiosity to that. “I hired someone to go deeper than I could go as a member of the sheriff’s department,” he admitted reluctantly.
“Why?”
“Because I felt she was hiding something.”
“And?”
“Obviously, my gut was right,” Kevin retorted without an ounce of satisfaction. “She was.”
“There’s no way I’m going to believe she’s a criminal.”
Kevin looked up at the night sky, wondering when the best holiday he’d ever experienced had turned into the lousiest. The silence deepened.
“What exactly did the private investigator find out?” Laurel asked eventually.
“I don’t know.” Kevin stared at the manger scene in front of the church. “I haven’t read the file.”
Laurel shook her head as if that would clear it. “Why not, if you’re broken up?”
Kevin cleared his throat. That was hard to explain. He was still curious, but he no longer needed to know every little thing about Noelle and her past. Maybe because through his love he had also found faith. Noelle was a kind, trustworthy person. Good through and through. He knew that as certainly as he was standing here. He was just sorry it had taken him so long to open up his heart again.
Laurel studied him. “It’s because you still love her,” she said triumphantly.
No denying that, either. For all the good it was going to do him.
“You still have a chance to make this right,” she insisted.
Kevin thought about the look on Noelle’s face when she’d found that express mail package and realized the depth of his betrayal. “I don’t see how,” he said gruffly.
Laurel gave him an encouraging pat on the arm. “It’s Christmas. Think about that. And go from there.”
NOELLE STARED AT THE clerk behind the desk at the Laramie Inn with a sinking feeling of dread. “You don’t have any rooms?”
“I’m sorry,” Red Marberry, the owner, repeated kindly. “It’s Christmas Eve. We’re totally booked and so is the other motor lodge in town. A lot of people visiting family here need a place to stay.”
“I guess I should have thought of that.” Noelle cradled the slumbering Mikey against her shoulder. She should have done what Miss Sadie and Dash suggested and bunked at Blackberry Hill, as planned, for the next two nights. Instead, she had impulsively gone out into the cold winter evening. Only to lose her nerve and end up here instead.
Red Marberry stroked the white handlebar mustache and soft fluffy beard that made him look like the real Santa. “Look, I’ll call around,” he told her sincerely. “I’ll find something…even if the wife and I put you up ourselves.”
Noelle appreciated the kind offer, but she couldn’t impose on two strangers on this most important holiday, no matter how generous they appeared. “That won’t be necessary,” she said, as a door opened and closed behind her on a cold gust of air. “I can always go back to Blackberry Hill.”
“That won’t be necessary, either.” A familiar voice sounded in her ear.
Noelle turned to see Kevin McCabe standing there in a long brown duster and full tan uniform. His hat was tugged low across his brow. His cheeks and nose were red from the cold, his eyes alight with curiosity and another emotion she couldn’t quite identify.
“I’ll handle this,” Kevin said, smiling down at the angelic looking Mikey and draping a light but ever so protective hand on her shoulder.
“That okay with you?” Red Marberry asked.
Noelle nodded, joy filling her heart. Suddenly, it seemed like Christmas again. And a potentially merry one at that. Maybe her first instinct tonight hadn’t been so far off, after all. There was only one way to find out. Heart pounding, Noelle walked out with Kevin toward the van she’d left parked beneath the portico.
He stood to block the wind. As he offered a sexy smile, the cleft in his chin deepened. “So, no room at the inn, hmm?”
Noelle reached into her pocket and handed over her car keys. “Appears that way.”
Kevin hit the unlock button on the keypad twice. He slid open the rear passenger door. “Want to come home with me?”
She had been wishing he would ask. She looked up at him, hoping this meant what she thought it might. “You’re off duty?” Her voice sounded rusty, even to her own ears.
“As of five minutes ago,” he told her soberly, “yes.”
Noelle put Mikey back in his car seat. Kevin got in his patrol car and followed her the short distance to his home. He carried the sleeping child inside while Noelle quickly set up Mikey’s pack-and-play crib in the spare room. Tired out by the holiday activities, her son barely stirred as she arranged his blanket and stuffed animals and settled him in.
For a moment, Noelle and Kevin stood there side by side, watching Mikey sleep. Satisfied he was set for the night, Noelle slipped soundlessly out of the room. Kevin followed. As soon as they were out of earshot, his glance slid to her left ring finger.
“You heard about the proposal and how I politely ducked having to reply at the time,” Noelle guessed.
The way he was looking at her made her heart speed up. “I gather from the fact you left Blackberry Hill that your answer—”
“Was a gentle but firm no,” Noelle confirmed.
Pleasure lighting his eyes, he tucked a curl behind her ear. “Any particular reason?”
Noelle reached over and slipped her hand into his. “I don’t love Dash in that way. I love him as a brother, friend and family member. I think he and Miss Sadie finally understand that now.”
Kevin’s glance turned even more possessive. The hand on hers tightened even as he slid the other around her waist and tugged her nearer still. “They didn’t kick you out, did they?”
“Oh, no.” Noelle cuddled against his warm body, feeling she had come home again, at long last. “They wanted me to stay the night, particularly in light of the sit-down Christmas dinner I’m supervising there tomorrow.”
“But you chose to flee instead.”
Noelle decided to surrender her pride completely and tell Kevin what was on her mind. “I wanted to talk to you. The sooner, the better. Then I started thinking how presumptuous it would be for me to land on your doorstep in the middle of the night, on Christmas Eve, no less, given the way things ended this morning.”
He nodded. “You did storm out on me.”
Noelle flushed. “And you let me.”
“My mistake.” He ran a hand up her spine, eliciting tingles of desire. “Which was why I was coming to find you when I saw your minivan at the inn.”
“Why?” she asked tentatively.
His expression was earnest. “To tell you not to marry Dash Nelson, to marry me.”
The words she had been waiting for warmed her heart. “Even knowing all that you know about my past?” she asked tremulously, feeling her eyes mist up.
He shrugged and glanced toward the coffee table. Noelle noticed the express mail envelope there. It remained just as she had seen it this morning—unopened. “Why didn’t you read what was inside?” she demanded nervously. Surely he had been curious!
He shrugged. “Because I figured if there was anything I should know, you would tell me.”
Just like that, she felt as if a huge weight had been lifted off her shoulders. “And if I choose to tell you nothing?” she asked, needing to be sure.
To her relief, Kevin gazed straight into her eyes. “Then it’s a closed case,” he told her soberly. “I’ll never know. And we’ll never bring it up again.”
Realizing his love truly was without conditions, she stared up at him in wonder. “You would do that for me?” she whispered, tears blurring her vision.
Kevin nodded. “I would do anything for you,” he said gruffly.
“That is one huge sacrifice on your part.”
Not so much, Kevin thought, given what he was receiving in return. “Haven’t you heard?” He bent his head and kissed her, his heart full of love for the woman in his arms. “Giving is what Christmas is all about.”
She returned his caress, then slowly drew away. Taking him by the hand, she led him over to the sofa. “I need to give you something, too—the truth.”
She turned to face him, her bent knee nudging his thigh. “My parents were part of a small group of con artists who committed mortgage fraud, long before it became popular. My mother was the sales agent who produced phony buyers to purchase properties from banks, and my father appraised the homes for more than they were worth. Another partner was a mortgage expert who brokered loans from legitimate banks, and the fourth swindler was an attorney who did all the legal work.” Her eyes glittered with pain while she regretfully recounted the truth. “The four of them went from boom area to boom area. That’s why I moved so much as a kid.”
“Because your parents were trying to stay a step ahead of the law.”
“Right. Anyway…” Noelle drew a quavering breath. She captured his hand with her own. “I knew nothing about it until I was almost eighteen, when the FBI hauled me in for questioning. Apparently, my parents had been using my name and social security number on some of the paperwork. Aware they were close to getting busted, my parents gave me a crash course on thievery so it would appear I knew what I was talking about, and asked me to take the fall.”
Suddenly, it all made sense. “Just like Scooter Roth’s parents did him.” No wonder she had gotten so upset about the poor kid’s plight!
Noelle’s eyes turned even grimmer. “I couldn’t do it, though. Not even for five minutes. Anyway, I began helping the FBI by providing information on my parents’ partners-in-crime. Threats were made. I was put in the witness protection program.”
Needing to hold her, Kevin shifted Noelle onto his lap. “What about your parents?”
Sadness clouded her eyes. “They went on the lam the minute they realized I wouldn’t play along.”
Kevin was stunned by the cruelty. “They just left you behind?”
Noelle nodded glumly. “Without a lawyer. Without any money or anyone to stand by me.” She laid a hand on his chest. “I was so scared.”
“And that’s where Dash Nelson came in,” Kevin guessed, covering her hand with his own.
Noelle nodded. “Dash was just out of law school, and he was assigned by the court to represent me. He made sure my rights were protected, even as I cooperated with authorities. He was there again when my parents’ and their business partners’ private jet went down, killing everyone on board. Suddenly, I was not in jeopardy anymore, but my real name was still mud, so I had the option to go with the identity the FBI had provided for me, Noelle Smith…or go back to my real name.”
“So they gave you the name Noelle.”
“They gave me the name Smith. I chose Noelle. I thought it would symbolize a new beginning and a purity of spirit. Of course, at that point,” she added wryly, “I had no idea I would later meet and marry a man named Michael Kringle…but that’s another story.”
One that Kevin had to hear. “Did he know?”
“No.” Noelle’s expression grew conflicted once again. “At first I was afraid to tell him. Then I didn’t want to burden him. And then it became this lie between us, and I didn’t know how to get around it, how to let him close.” She took a deep breath. “I didn’t want the same thing to happen between you and me.”
“But I was investigating you, in connection with another fraud and embezzlement charge.”
“Obviously, I didn’t want to bring it up for fear it would put me at the top of the suspect list. So I kept silent, even though I could see you knew I was hiding something.”
“And you continued to keep your past a secret from everyone.”
“I had seen how people who knew my family looked at me when the truth about what my folks had done originally came out. I didn’t want to go back to that. Because my photo had been kept out of the papers, no one knew what I looked like. So it was easy enough to go with the new life history and name the FBI gave me. If I had told the catering company I worked for that I had a criminal past, I never would have been hired. Same now, as an event planner. So I just tried to view the new beginning as a rebirth, and a chance for a fresh start, sans the baggage of my parents’ crimes.”
Kevin brushed a strand of hair from her cheek. “And that worked until I came along,” he surmised.
“I would like to say that is true. It’s not. I’ve struggled with all the lies required of me for a long time. It’s been really hard. My fear of messing up is why I haven’t been able to let people close.”
“Does Miss Sadie know?”
“Only Dash. And of course, the FBI, but I no longer have any contact with them. And now you and the P.I. you hired.”
Kevin held her tenderly. “I’m sorry about that.”
Noelle shifted more comfortably on his lap. “I’m not.” She draped her arms around his neck, gazing into his eyes. “This whole thing made me realize I need to be free. I need to stop lying about every aspect of my previous life and tell the truth. Even if it means people don’t want to associate with me anymore.”
Kevin was glad she had decided to cut herself free of the chains of her past. The decision made their very first Christmas together all the more special. “No one who knows you is going to blame you.” He smoothed a hand through her hair.
She regarded him, soberly. “What about you?”
“I think you’re a remarkable woman,” he told her, kissing her with all the love and passion he possessed, letting her know he would stand with her forever. However, knowing that there were still some very important things to be settled, he reluctantly ended the caress. “And I’m incredibly lucky to have met you and Mikey and have you in my life. Only two questions remain. The first is can you forgive me?”
Happiness gleamed in her eyes. “The answer to that is yes,” she answered with a smile that said she was set to embrace their future with Texas-size gusto. “And the second question?”
Kevin grinned. “Just what is it going to take to get you to move here to Laramie and be my wife?”