Chapter 5

Game Over

For about the next month or so, Jazmin and I became distant. We texted often, but when I mentioned coming over just to speak, she stopped replying. I could do without overhearing her and Lewis knockin' the boots so coming over again unannounced was out of the question.

I was curious as to whether or not she told him the truth about who we used to be to each other, but I knew better. She was more adamant about forgetting that ever happened than I was. I never had feelings for Jazmin, but on some level I missed her presence. Sometimes you might not have an emotional connection with a person, but just having them around makes things better.

She was a rare breed, but the prototype for who I wanted in my circle. We could talk about anything and almost always were on the same page. She was like a homeboy put in a dream girl's body, and because there were no feelings involved, I didn't mind trusting her. My heart wasn't hers to break and her apathy for me gave me comfort.

At minimum, I wanted to see how my friend was doing and what she was up to. So, I started taking different routes to and from class, hoping that I'd just run into her, and got lucky one day. I caught her leaving class walking to her car.

“Hey yo, Jaz, what’s up!? Where you been hiding girl?” I said, grinning, trying not to be so obvious about speeding up to cut her off from opening her car door.

“Well, hello, Mr. Shawn, I have been hiding in class. That's what we're in school for," she smirked. “How about you? You still cuttin' up, huh?"

"Actually no, I've been chilling. I don't even go out anymore unless it's with Danielle."

"That's the new girl, right? So she made it past two weeks? She must be special."

“Yeah, she really is. I don’t wanna get my hopes up though. Anyway, how’s what’s-a-face treating you?"

“Lewis. And he's treating me great," she said, holding up her ring finger.

“Wow! A new promise ring. Nice."

"No, silly, it's an engagement ring. He asked me to marry 'em." she forced a smile and looked down.

"You sure sound excited."

"I mean I am. I guess it's just happening a little fast for me."

"When'd he propose?"

"Last month. We were celebrating his game-winning shot at Waffle House. He went over to the jukebox, put on a nice slow song, and then got on one knee. But I just bought the ring yesterday though."

"You bought what? Wait. Rewind. He proposed or did you?"

"He did, but he didn't have a ring. Said something about not wanting that to stop us and that he could always get it later, but I wanted to tell my fam, and there's no way I could do it without something on my finger. So, I went and bought it. He said he'll pay me back though."

"Well, congrats, I'm happy for you." Honestly, I didn’t care. I was more relieved to have a reason behind her becoming distant. Her and her man were taking the next step; makes sense that he was getting more of her time and attention. I don't know how I feel about not being in the know exactly when this happened, but oh well. Good for her.

“If you want, we can double date,” she said sarcastically. She knew better than to seriously invite me on a double date. Those are for couples who want to prove to their friends that everything they’ve been gossiping about is all true. Besides, I didn't want Danielle to get any ideas by me taking her out with a soon-to-be-married couple. That was a set-up.

"Nah, I'll pass, but make sure I get an invite to the wedding. When is that happening anyway, next week?"

“Ha ha, very funny. We haven't set a date yet. I think he's moving at a fast pace because he's more mature than most guys. Sometimes you gotta follow your heart and he understands that. Anyway, text me or something, I gotta go.” She got in her car, checking her phone.

She probably thought nothing of it, but I felt like the advice she gave me was a sign. Follow your heart, she said. I don't know where it'll lead me, but it was worth a shot.

Things kept progressing between Danielle and me. Before class, I could always see her walking down the hall and how guys would try to get her attention. She’d either ignore or disrespect them without fail which always put a smile on my face. I couldn't blame them for trying; she was beautiful. But sometimes, I’d even go put my arm around her or some other public display of affection to rub it in. And when we got to the classroom, it didn't matter how many times I opened the door for her, she said thank you each and every time; unlike the other ungrateful ass females I opened the door for and they’d walk through without even making eye contact, as if it was owed to them. I wish I could trip them when they did that, but then I'd go to jail. Wasn't worth it.

But she appreciated the little things, especially when I told her about my childhood addiction to PB&J sandwiches and she decided to surprise me with two Ziploc bags, each with PB&J’s in them; one had wheat bread and the other had white since I wasn’t specific when I told her what I liked. That kind of stuff got to me. She was everything I never knew I always wanted.

Without a title, she was the only one I was seeing regularly and I completely neglected the friends-with-benefits chicks I had on my team. No regrets there. Hurting their feelings to keep the peace was a small price to pay. Besides, Danielle was teaching me how to do my own work so I didn't need them to help me out any more. Sex with girls you don't plan on having a future with is stressful. They're bound to want more; you're content on not giving it, and there's always that lingering 'Did the condom break?' afterthought.

I liked Danielle. A lot. My only concern was how scared of myself I was. What if I couldn’t be the man she deserved right now? What if I waited too long and some other guy came and swept her off her feet?

I didn't want to get caught up in the moment and rush into anything, but the good ones don't wait around forever. Everyone knows that. She was making me a better person just by letting me know her, the type of girl you bring home to your parents, and she was tugging at my heart. Since that's what I was following, I was going to have to make her mine.

I'm a simple man, not too much of a romantic. If I had it my way, I would just go up to her, tell her I was ready to be together, and let her either agree or disagree. But I knew better.

So I tried to get creative. Go to the lake like we always did, and then out of nowhere recite a few lines I saw on a Hallmark card a while back. Girls love Hallmark cards, and besides, it's the thought that counts. I actually thought that would be a good idea.

We pulled up to the lake that night, cut the lights off, turned the slow jams down a bit, and reclined the seats.

"It's so nice out tonight, don't you think?" she said. "Just look at the stars. Don't they look nice?"

"Momma always told me, 'Never look directly into the light. It'll hurt your eyes', and I don't want my eyes to hurt."

"Shawn, stop it. If they were that bright it wouldn't be night time."

"Some of 'em so bright they keep shining after they're gone. Now that's a real star. Like Tupac."

She laughed. "That's funny. Sometimes I wonder what else is going on in that crazy head of yours."

“Actually, Danielle, there is this one thing. I've been wanting to say it and I guess now is as good a time as any.”

“You don’t have to say it. I already know.”

"Hold up. What you mean you already know? How?”

“I saw you watching Think Like A Man. Don’t worry, I don’t have a 90-day rule. When the time is right, we’ll know.”

For a minute I thought she read my mind, but she was way off. I wasn't even thinking about sex. For once. Maybe I was changing after all. The old me had a 91-day rule anyway, and that was for girls who made me wait 90 days, I would be gone on the 91st. But even if she did have one, I would've stuck around. Maybe.

“Oh no, that’s not it,” I said, laughing. “No, what I’m tryna say is-“ my phone rang "Uh..hold up real quick." I peeked at my phone and saw it was Jazmin. We had always texted, but now her ass wanted to chat.

It was going to have to wait. I tried to silence it without Danielle seeing the caller name on the screen.

“Hope it wasn’t important.”

I shifted in my seat. “Oh nah, just my homie. He probably ain’t want nothin',” implicitly lying my ass off.

“But back to what I was saying. I….”My mind went blank. “Um.. Um. You see, I think, I mean I know. Well, I feel like..." I couldn't remember how that Hallmark card went to save my life.

"Danielle...I love you,” I said. Straight to the point, unromantic as hell. I just came out with it.

She looked pleasantly stunned which turned quickly to suspicion. “Shawn, do you know what you’re saying? If this is some kind of sick joke, it’s not funny.”

“No, it’s not a joke, and yes, I do know what I’m saying. More importantly, I know what I’m feeling. I’m in love with you. It’s not enough to just kinda have you anymore. I want all of you and I want to give you all of me. If you’ll have me, I want you to be my girlfriend.” My heart was beating faster than Usain Bolt on crack. Every second she took to make some kind of reaction seemed like an hour. So of course, she sat there and let it all soak in before she finally spoke.

“Wow. I didn't see that coming. Well, I love you too. I knew you were unsure about whether or not you could do the relationship thing so I wasn’t going to pressure you. And-"

"But you didn't pressure me."

"Shawn, can I speak please?" I caught myself and waited for her to talk again.

"Like I was saying, I just didn’t know if you felt ready for the responsibility of my heart. But I believe in you. You’re a great guy and I don’t think you even realize it. So yes, I’d love to be your girl.”

I tried to hold back my smile, and failed. She believed in me. That's music to any man's ears. So there it was. I was officially off the market. I was taken.