It was getting late and still no word. Josh knew this wasn’t good. Maybe he had pushed too hard or Helen’s boss had known Josh was lying about the cops. Rigas insisted it was fine, they just needed to be patient. Josh wasn’t as sure. But sending another message would have been a mistake and they had to wait. It felt like what soldiers must experience before a battle; boredom and waiting, but knowing a fight was around the corner. He told Rigas to go home, he’d call her if anything happened during the night.
“No way, pal. We’re best friends until this guy gets in touch. Gimme a blanket and I’ll nap on the couch.”
Josh had been right about how comfortable she looked draped on a sofa, watching television. He didn’t argue with her, knowing it would be pointless. Fact is, he felt better having her around. Not just because she had a gun and a badge. He liked the idea of her sleeping under his roof. It was intimate in an odd sort of way. Even if he was in the bedroom at the other end of the house. She said she’d stay in the office even though the living room pull-out was more comfortable; so was Allison’s room or even the spare guest room. But she wanted to be near the phone in case Helen’s boss called in the middle of the night. Also, there was a small fridge in the office and earlier she had transferred a few beers from the kitchen. She was set for the night. It was after 11:00 p.m. and Josh needed some rest too. He brought a sheet, pillow, and blanket from the hall closet and started to make up the couch. She tried to shake him off with false exasperation as though she didn’t want to be pampered, but Josh pointed her to the chair at the desk until he’d put down the bedding and turned the couch into a reasonable facsimile of a comfortable place to sleep. He turned the lamp on the desk off and only the glow from the television threw light on them. Rigas got out of the chair and edged by Josh to get to the couch.
“I’ll bet you’d make a great wife,” she cracked, but it was a gentle ribbing and her voice was softer than before. Josh didn’t move out of her way immediately, and she stood just a few inches away, both of them next to the couch. The low light picked up the line of her cheeks and Josh thought he could see her eyes sparkling just a little. They stood for a long beat, neither one breaking the silence or making a move to get out of the way. Rigas knew this was foolish, right in the middle of everything that was going on. But letting go a little, not running to hide behind her badge, was something she knew she had to do. And she also knew she felt safe, and excited, and not out of control. Josh put his hand to her cheek, very gently. She broke his gaze for just a moment to look at the angry scar around his neck and thought about what he had been through. She didn’t move, but didn’t stop him. Josh very lightly stroked her cheek with his fingertips. His hand slowly slid forward and he wound his fingers in her hair as he gently pulled her forward and leaned in. He wasn’t thinking about the consequences or whether this made sense right now. They covered the small space separating them simultaneously, Rigas’ lips slightly parted and Josh holding her eyes with his own. They kissed long and slow, not tentatively, and pulled back only an inch after, pausing for a heartbeat. Then a second kiss, this one stronger and more intense, both of Josh’s hands now holding her. Josh could feel a momentum building, and he pulled back to look at Rigas. Her eyes were half open and the slight muss of her hair made him want to kiss her again. They had both dropped their hands to their sides. Rigas spoke first.
“Well.” She didn’t sound particularly surprised, or as though she had decided what was coming next. Josh smiled and echoed her, “yeah, well…”
The silence was heavy, but with expectation, not discomfort. Rigas broke it. “Get some sleep, buddy. We’ve probably got a full day tomorrow.” But she didn’t look away or try to hide the moment. Josh couldn’t believe he’d just kissed her, hard and deep, this cop who had saved his life once and tried to slap him once. And that he wanted to do it again.
“Yeah, some sleep. Good idea.” He said it with a smile as he stepped back and he saw in her look that she hadn’t just shut him down, only put the moment in perspective. Rigas kicked off her shoes, took her gun out of her shoulder holster and put it on the coffee table by the couch, and stretched out on top of the blanket. Josh stared at her for a minute, thinking she was about as different a woman as he had ever met – not someone he thought he would be finding himself feeling close to. She caught his stare and rolled her eyes in mock exasperation. “You going to tuck me in now? G’night. I’ll come get you if the phone rings.”
Josh flicked off the office light and watched her settle in by the glow of the television screen. Home security. He left the office.
Rigas felt cozy, and more than a little excited. She also felt conflicted because technically Barnes was a witness in an investigation. But this wasn’t your ordinary case, and Barnes wasn’t your ordinary guy. She thought about what it would have felt like if she’d let it go further, the feel of the kiss still on her lips. She liked it and she liked how she’d let it happen. Not completely sure it was the right thing to do, she was very sure it was a step in the right direction. Letting down the guard, exorcising old ghosts. She dozed off to the flicker of David Letterman interviewing someone and a mix of images in her head; brothers, high school, the station house. And Barnes.
Josh took a quick rinse-off shower to help clear his head and think about what to do next. The thought of Rigas just down the hall made it hard to concentrate. He still felt the blood flowing in all the wrong places and he needed to get his head back into what he was facing. He started considering all variations depending on what Helen’s boss got back to them with. Why hadn’t he done so already? Called, emailed, whatever. Maybe there wasn’t any urgency to getting the Ventrica, or at least another day wouldn’t matter. Maybe he had more pressing murders and extortions. Or maybe he was on a plane heading here to torture Josh into telling him where the design was. No matter what the answer, there was nothing Josh could do now. Allison was still safe. A few hours of sleep would help. He had set the email program to start beeping if anything came in from the address Helen’s boss was using or if the AIM program suddenly became active. The volume was up high and he’d hear it across the silent house if anything came up. Getting in bed, exhausted, he drifted off to sleep with images of Rigas in his mind. Conflicting images, one of her holding a gun on him after shooting Helen and the other of her face as he pulled away from kissing her.
He was asleep a little while later and didn’t hear the soft padding of feet coming down the hall or see the shadow as Rigas stood in the doorway and looked at him. After a couple of minutes, the shadow was gone.