Rough Waters
After passing the ratings tests with season one’s episodic trial balloon, a second season of twelve episodes was shot at the CBS Studio Center in Studio City, California, a new locale and somewhat different look for the show, too. The pilot and first season were filmed at the Ren-Mar studios in Hollywood.
Season two debuted on January 23, 1991. It was delayed a week because of news coverage of the Gulf War, “Operation Desert Storm,” which began on January 17. Less-than-stellar ratings for the first four shows, though, prompted NBC to pull Seinfeld out of its primetime lineup for two months while the network bigwigs deliberated on its fate. “The Phone Message” aired on February 13, 1991, to a rather dismal Nielsen rating of 9.7, which tallies up the percentage of households tuned into the show, and a 15 share, which reflects the percentage of television sets in use tuned to the program. The next episode, “The Apartment,” aired on the heels of the popular sitcom Cheers, on April 4, 1991, and nearly doubled the audience numbers—scoring a 16.9 Nielsen rating and 28 share, respectively. Better tidings for Seinfeld were in the offing.
Tom Cherones returned as director for the entire second season and received an Emmy nomination for “Outstanding Directing for a Comedy Series” to honor his work in the “The Pony Remark.” New York Times critic David Kehr cited this particular episode as the moment Seinfeld became Seinfeld with its singular “sarcastic contempt” brand that it would take to greater heights in the ensuing years.
Episode 6: “The Ex-Girlfriend” (original air date: January 23, 1991)
In season two’s opening volley, written by the prolific Jerry Seinfeld and Larry David tag team, George is in an unhappy relationship with Marlene, played by Tracy Kolis. His best buddy, Jerry, advises him to call it quits, which he does expeditiously.
George, however, insists that Jerry call on Marlene’s apartment to pick up some books that he had left there. Reluctant at first, Jerry does as his friend asks and gets romantically entwined with his ex-girlfriend. George, though, gives his blessing, but the relationship is short-lived because Marlene doesn’t find Jerry’s standup act the least bit funny, nor does she respect his profession. Jerry finds this odd because she is a cashier.
Episode 7: “The Pony Remark” (original air date: January 30, 1991)
Written once again by the show’s two creators, this episode received critical praise, but not especially good ratings. The plot’s focal point finds Jerry at a dinner party where he inadvertently offends an elderly relative named Manya with an offhand remark about hating people who owned ponies when they were young. Highly insulted, old Manya, who had a pony as a girl, storms away from the table and dies of a heart attack later that night.
Jerry worries that he will be blamed for causing the fatal coronary. When he learns that Manya’s funeral is on the same afternoon as his championship softball game, he faces a moral dilemma, too—play ball or attend the funeral. Jerry also places a bet with Kramer that he will not, as he purports, convert his apartment into multiple levels. Despite the conversion not coming to pass, Kramer does not ante up, claiming that since he never started the project, the bet is null and void.
This is the first episode featuring Barney Martin as Morty Seinfeld and Len Lesser as Uncle Leo. Romanian actress Rozsika Halmos played Manya. She passed away in 1999, at the age of eighty-seven.
Uncle Leo (Len Lesser) makes his first appearance at Manya’s funeral in “The Pony Remark.”
NBC/Photofest
Episode 8: “The Jacket” (original air date: February 6, 1991)
Still another Jerry Seinfeld and Larry David collaboration, this episode introduces Elaine’s father for the first and only time in the series. Alton Benes is a hard-boiled, crusty writer, who is described by Elaine as a tough guy and difficult to get along with. The actor who portrayed him, Lawrence Tierney, was likewise a tough guy (he died in 2002 at the age of eighty-two) and—by all accounts—extremely difficult to get along with in real life.
The main plot of “The Jacket” involves Elaine getting together with her father and wanting both Jerry and George to be with her as “buffers” when she does. They agree, and Jerry wears his new suede jacket to the hotel, where both he and George—without Elaine, who is running late—await Alton Benes. This unplanned set of circumstances finds the pair in a very awkward conversation with the man. When Elaine at long last arrives—not soon enough—the foursome head out to dinner, with snowflakes in the air. Elaine and George suggest that Jerry turn his suede jacket inside out to protect it from the inclement weather. He, however, doesn’t want to seem like a wuss in front of Elaine’s macho father and ruins the jacket in the process. Kramer, though, happily takes it off his hands.
Tierney was not asked to reprise his role as Alton Benes in subsequent episodes. Jason Alexander said of the one-time experience of working with the unstable actor: “Lawrence Tierney scared the living crap out of all of us.”
Episode 9: “The Phone Message” (original air date: February 13, 1991)
Again, Jerry Seinfeld and Larry David teamed up to pen this teleplay, in which George is freaking out because his girlfriend, Carol (played by Tory Polone), is not returning his phone calls. At wit’s end, he explodes and unleashes a series of angry messages on her telephone answering machine.
Subsequently, George learns that Carol is out of town, which explains why she had been ignoring his phone messages. On her scheduled return date, George concocts a scheme with Jerry to catch Carol in front of her apartment building and somehow confiscate the tape in her answering machine before she plays the messages. Working in tandem, they accomplish the switcheroo, but discover that Carol has already heard the messages and thought that George’s various rants were highly amusing and meant to be a joke.
Episode 10: “The Apartment” (original air date: April 4, 1991)
Peter Mehlman wrote the teleplay for “The Apartment.” It was, in fact, the first time he had ever written dialogue. Courtesy of a humorous essay that appeared in the New York Times Magazine, Jerry Seinfeld discovered Mehlman’s latent talents. Mehlman assumed many roles through the years for Seinfeld—writer, program consultant, and, ultimately, co-executive producer, replacing Larry David after season seven. He once noted, “The fact that Seinfeld never had touching moments made the network apoplectic.”
In this episode, Elaine wants out of her apartment, which she feels is not up to snuff. When Jerry hears that one is available in his building, he clues her in on it. However, after thinking it over, he realizes that it would be a colossal mistake to have her living in the same building. Elaine’s meddlesome nature would no doubt impact his privacy, freedom, and—yes—love life. George, meanwhile, starts wearing a wedding ring, believing that women are more attracted to married men. His plan goes awry, though, when he loses out on potential dates because women believe he is spoken for.
This was the first episode that aired in Seinfeld’s new timeslot, after Cheers, and garnered very good ratings—a sign of better things to come.
Episode 11: “The Statue” (original air date: April 11, 1991)
Another talented writer brought into the Seinfeld stable, Larry Charles, wrote this teleplay. Charles would remain on the writing frontbench through season five and pen some very memorable episodes.
His first contribution to the series revolves around a statue that once belonged to Jerry’s grandfather and one that George covets in the here and now. It is the very same statue, he says, that his parents once owned and adored—the very same statue that he had accidentally broken a long time ago. George is convinced that he’s never been forgiven for the mishap. He would love nothing more than to give it to them as a gift and get back in their good graces.
However, when Jerry has his apartment cleaned by a man named Ray (played by Michael D. Conway), the boyfriend of Elaine’s client, Rava, the statue goes missing. Jerry and Elaine later spot the statue at Ray’s place and naturally assume he made off with it, but he denies doing any such thing. In the guise of an old-school plainclothes detective, Kramer goes over to Ray’s apartment, interrogates him, and gets the statue back for a grateful George, who—alas—ends up dropping it. It’s “déjà vu all over again” for George as he watches it smash into a zillion pieces.
Episode 12: “The Revenge” (original air date: April 18, 1991)
Written solely by Larry David, this episode is largely based on the Seinfeld co-creator’s personal experiences. George quits his real estate broker job with Rick Barr Properties because his boss, Mr. Levitan (played by Fred Applegate), has sent a memo around telling employees that they should not use the executive bathroom. George finds this directive extraordinarily petty and considers it the straw that broke the camel’s back, as it were. He realizes, soon after, that he may have been too hasty in leaving and shows up for work as if nothing had happened. Apparently, Larry David had done something similar in the past while working for Saturday Night Live.
Levitan will have none of it, though, and George is officially out of work again. He then plots his revenge and, with Elaine’s help, slips his former boss a Mickey at an office affair in a local restaurant. After completing the odious business at hand, George encounters Levitan and is told that he can have his old job back. The Mickey would soon say otherwise.
In another plot thread, Jerry believes that Vic, owner of the laundromat where he brings his dirty clothes, made off with a considerable sum of money, fifteen hundred dollars, that he had forgotten was in his laundry bag. He, too, decides to get even. With Kramer’s help, the pair pour a bag of cement into one of Vic’s washers. The cash is ultimately found, but after the vengeful deed of destroying the washer is a fait accompli. Vic didn’t take the money after all and Jerry is compelled to pay for a new washing machine. There goes his fifteen hundred dollars. Burly, tough-looking John Capodice played Vic.
Although we never see him, this episode also introduces the character of Newman, who unsuccessfully attempts to commit suicide by jumping out of his apartment’s second-floor window. Larry David originally supplied an off-camera voice for Newman, but it has been dubbed over by Wayne Knight for syndication.
Episode 13: “The Heart Attack” (original air date: April 25, 1991)
Written by Larry Charles, this episode revolves around George and his absolute conviction that he is having a heart attack. The medical diagnosis, however, is that he needs a tonsillectomy.
Rather than have his tonsils removed by doctors at the hospital, George takes Kramer’s advice to visit a holistic healer named Tor Eckman, played by Stephen Tobolowsky. But a certain herbal tea concoction prepared by Eckman makes George deathly sick, and an ambulance is called to rush him to the hospital. The paramedics quarrel en route and crash the ambulance. In the end, George has his tonsils removed in the hospital and is also fitted with a neck brace—along with Jerry who had accompanied him—because of the ambulance accident.
Episode 14: “The Deal” (original air date: May 2, 1991)
Larry David returns as the sole writer of this episode, which involves old flames Jerry and Elaine inadvertently re-igniting the flame after viewing soft-core pornography on television in Jerry’s apartment. They consent to have sexual relations again, but with certain rules in place that will make it informal and maintain the state of their friendship, such as “spending the night is optional.” George is highly skeptical that the arrangement will work.
Later, Jerry gives Elaine $182 in cash as a birthday gift and she is offended, even though they established that they were not in a relationship. On the other hand, Kramer gives Elaine the birthday present—a little bench—that she really wanted. She thinks his gift is quite thoughtful, particularly in contrast with Jerry’s cold cash. Jerry and Elaine begin officially dating after this disagreement, rendering all their informal rules null and void.
Episode 15: “The Baby Shower” (original air date: May 16, 1991)
Another Larry Charles contribution to the series—with the writer’s patented edge on display—finds Elaine hosting a baby shower in Jerry’s apartment while he is off performing in Buffalo. However, Jerry’s trip is cut short and he experiences a dreadful nightmare while flying home. In a dream sequence, FBI agents confront a guilt-ridden Jerry immediately upon his return. At Kramer’s urging, he had previously consented to have illegal cable television hooked up in his apartment. In the dream, the Russian cable installer is really an undercover agent. Jerry attempts a getaway but is gunned down in a fusillade of bullets.
This nightmare at twenty thousand feet so unnerves Jerry that he is more leery than ever of going through with the illegal cable upgrade. George, meanwhile, wants to confront Leslie, the guest of honor at the baby shower and a former girlfriend of his who humiliated him years ago while doing performance art. Specifically, she squirt Bosco chocolate syrup all over him. He is wearing the still-Bosco-stained red shirt as exhibit A.
Back at Jerry’s apartment, Elaine is presiding over the baby shower while two Russians hook up illegal cable TV. George and Jerry crash the event, but the former, when all is said and done, chickens out and doesn’t confront Leslie. In fact, he ends up being her toady. Jerry also takes the opportunity to say that he no longer wants the illegal cable TV installed, but is charged an exorbitant amount for the Russians’ time. When he refuses to pay, they smash the screen of his television set.
Bronx-born actress Christine Dunford played George’s ex, Leslie, and Vic Polizos was Tabachnik, the Russian illegal cable installer.
Episode 16: “The Chinese Restaurant” (original air date: May 23, 1991)
Written by Jerry Seinfeld and Larry David, “The Chinese Restaurant” is frequently cited as one of the show’s “about nothing” episodes, with Jerry, George, and Elaine waiting impatiently and hungrily for a table at a Chinese restaurant.
After Elaine complains of being so famished that she feels like snatching something off of a diner’s plate, Jerry offers her fifty dollars if she goes through with it and makes off with someone’s egg roll. Elaine rails at the notion that restaurant policies are based on first come, first served. “It should be based on who’s hungriest,” she says.
George, meanwhile, desperately needs to call his girlfriend, but the payphone in the restaurant is perpetually occupied. Eventually, they get fed up and leave, which is when the maître d’, played by veteran character actor James Hong, finally has a table for the Seinfeld party. (Hong’s copious television credits span more than half a century and include Bonanza [1959–1973], The Man from U.N.C.L.E. [1964–1968], Kung Fu [1972–1975], Dynasty [1981–1989], and MacGyver [1985–1992].) Michael Richards as Kramer does not appear in this episode.
Episode 17: “The Busboy” (original air date: June 26, 1991)
Written again by the show’s co-creators, the final episode of the second season involves a restaurant busboy named Antonio (played by David Labiosa), who inadvertently ignites a fire by leaving a menu too close to a candle. Fast-acting George extinguishes the small blaze and explains to the restaurant manager what happened. Antonio gets fired for his negligence and George feels guilty about being the cause of the termination.
With Kramer along for moral support, George visits the busboy’s dilapidated apartment to offer an apology. Unintentionally, he sets free the man’s cat. Days later, Antonio calls on George with fabulous news: there was a gas explosion at the restaurant where he formerly worked, which killed both his old boss and the individual hired to replace him. More good news: while searching for his missing cat, he landed a better job. Antonio thanks George for turning his life around.
Elaine, meanwhile, is valiantly attempting to get her boyfriend, Eddie (played by Doug Ballard), on a plane to Seattle and out of her hair. But when Eddie gets into an argument with Antonio during a chance meeting in Jerry’s building’s hallway, fists fly, with both men sustaining serious injuries. While he recuperates, taking care of the cat of the again-unemployed Antonio is George’s obligation, and Elaine must tend to Eddie in her apartment during his convalescence.