Chapter 3

Sweden

Friday strode across the front yard to confront her father. He was still waiting on the other side of the tape with Melanie.

‘Dad, can you remember Mum mentioning something about her winning the Nobel Prize?’ asked Friday.

‘The Nobel Prize?’ asked Dr Barnes. ‘It doesn’t ring a bell.’

‘She hasn’t been planning a trip to Sweden, has she?’ asked Friday.

‘Sweden? Why would she go there?’ asked Dr Barnes.

‘Because the Nobel Prizes are presented each year in Sweden on the tenth of December, the anniversary of Alfred Nobel’s birth,’ said Friday. ‘But the winners are announced much earlier, in mid-October. Is there any chance Mum has not been kidnapped but has, in fact, simply flown out to Europe for a lecture tour ahead of her acceptance of the Nobel Prize for Physics? And that Quantum, Quasar, Halley and Orion have gone with her?’

‘Now that you mention it,’ said Dr Barnes, ‘your mother did say something about wanting me to go with her to some awards night. I must have missed the taxi when they all left.’

‘Was the taxi due to pick you up at 7.45 last night?’ asked Melanie.

‘Yes!’ said Dr Barnes. ‘That’s right, I remember now. How did you know?’

‘Yes, how did you know?’ asked Friday.

‘It says 7.45 on the back of Dr Barnes’ hand,’ said Melanie.

Dr Barnes looked at his hand. ‘Oh yes! My secretary must have written it on there to help me to remember. She writes down all my important scheduling on my hand in permanent marker.’

‘But what about the note?’ asked Detective Summers. ‘Your mother obviously wrote it in desperation. The handwriting alone showed that.’

‘No, actually that’s Mum’s regular handwriting,’ said Friday. ‘The clichés about “mad scientists” don’t just come from nowhere. And you’ve got to realise that my mother is very clinical and ordered in the way she thinks and speaks. So her words They are taking me away now. I tried to argue. They leave me no choice. I am being forced. Farewell could simply mean the taxi is here, she had an argument with my brothers and sisters about sending the taxi away and waiting for Dad, she lost the argument and they are setting out for the airport.’

‘I can’t believe it,’ said Detective Summers. ‘All the time and resources wasted because some crazy academic is too vague to notice that his wife has gone to collect a Nobel Prize. This can’t be happening to me. Are there hidden cameras somewhere? Is this a prank show?’ Detective Summers looked about as if expecting a camera person to jump out of a bush.

‘No, I’m afraid it’s just regular day-to-day life in the Barnes household,’ said Friday.

‘I ought to have you both arrested for wasting police time,’ said Detective Summers.

‘Hey, I’m the one who sorted it out for you,’ said Friday. ‘And shouldn’t you be relieved that my mother hasn’t been kidnapped?’

‘I have real crimes I’m supposed to be investigating,’ said Detective Summers, ‘and I’ve just wasted four hours and goodness knows how much of our department’s crime scene investigation budget on this.’

‘Those shower caps and paper booties are expensive, are they?’ asked Melanie.

Detective Summers took out her phone and started dialling. ‘My boss is going to looove this,’ she muttered sarcastically as she walked away.

‘I suppose we had better be getting back to school,’ said Friday.

‘But what about me?’ asked Dr Barnes.

‘What do you mean, “what about you”?’ said Friday. ‘We’ve established that Mother is all right, Quantum, Quasar, Halley and Orion will look after her. She’s only going to be gone six weeks.’

‘But who’s going to look after me for six weeks?’ asked Dr Barnes.

‘What do you expect?’ said Friday. ‘Do you want me to hire a babysitter to look after you?’

‘Do you know anyone who would be interested?’ asked Dr Barnes optimistically.

‘I was being sarcastic,’ said Friday. ‘You’re a grown man. You should be able to look after yourself.’

‘But I never have before,’ said Dr Barnes. ‘You can’t expect me to take on a new role without a discussion, written instructions and a training program.’ Dr Barnes was starting to get very agitated. He looked like he might start crying.

‘I think you might have to find a babysitter after all,’ said Melanie.

‘This is ridiculous,’ said Friday. ‘I’m eleven years old. I can’t be responsible for your wellbeing. I’ve got to get back to school.’

‘What about your Uncle Bernie?’ suggested Melanie.

‘That buffoon!’ exclaimed Dr Barnes. ‘He’s not staying here.’

‘They can’t stand each other,’ explained Friday.

‘But aren’t they brothers?’ asked Melanie.

‘Exactly, that’s why they can’t stand each other,’ said Friday.

‘We could take your dad with us,’ said Melanie. ‘If he was at Highcrest Academy, he’d get his meals and accommodation taken care of.’

‘I think Dad is a little bit too old to enrol as a student,’ said Friday.

‘Of course,’ agreed Melanie. ‘But I’m sure the Headmaster would be happy to give Dr Barnes a job. You know how much he hates the head of the science department. And it would really irritate Mr Breznev if the Headmaster hired someone much more qualified to come and be a guest teacher.’

‘I suppose that might work,’ conceded Friday. ‘But frankly, I’d rather not have my father hanging about at school.’

‘Why?’ asked Melanie.

‘Because, you know …’ said Friday awkwardly, ‘he’ll cramp my style.’

‘Friday, I hate to break it to you,’ said Melanie, ‘but you have no style.’

‘True,’ conceded Friday.

‘Besides,’ continued Melanie, ‘you’ve never been close with your parents. This could be an opportunity for you to get to know your father better.’

‘That’s a nice thought,’ said Friday. ‘But I think I know him just well enough already.’

‘The only other alternative is that you take six weeks off school and come and live with him here,’ said Melanie.

Friday looked at her father. He was staring at his own shoes, no doubt lost in his own thoughts about physics.

‘Me and Dad together in the house for six weeks?!’ Friday shuddered at the mental image this generated. ‘I’ll call the Headmaster.’