The End ?

In which proceedings in the Great Hall of the Uchronie take a definite turn for the worse and Nate shows his true colors.


Amidst the terrified St Arwar’s crowds, Lolly and I stood frozen with fear as two parallel lines of bullets tore up the dance floor, heading straight towards us.

‘LOLLY! GET OVER HERE!’ shouted Corporal Price, heaving the colossal Captain’s table on to its side. ‘QUICKLY!’

Lolly and I sprinted across the dance floor, pursued by the hail of bullets, and dived behind the table. Heavy, square, bullets thudded into the thick mahogany, ripping out huge splinters and sending them whirling into the already terrified crowd. The dance floor erupted all around, showering us with glass, dust and debris.

‘It’s bullet proof, but not bomb proof.’ shouted Corporal Price, as the sharp edged bullets took huge bites out of the table. ‘Keep your heads down, we’ll be safe for a few seconds.’

The three old musicians of Les Chemise Rouge were not so lucky. Somehow, still believing that this was another surprise part of the St Arwar’s show, they continued playing their last slow dance. Then, too late, they realized that the curtain of bullets, ripping across the dance floor towards them, was not some elaborate special effect. Suddenly the music stopped abruptly, in mid melody, and they were cut down by the hail of bullets.

Above us the Nazi plane’s engine screamed in protest as the pilot slammed on his dive brakes and pulled out at the last possible moment. His rear gunner got off a few ineffectual rounds on an MG15 gun as they sped over our heads.

As the plane spiraled up and away into the starry skies, an eerie silence fell over the shocked crowd, who stood petrified amidst the shattered, dust and smoke filled hall. Miraculously only a few of them had been injured. The attack had been directed straight downwards on to the Captains table beside the stage.

‘It’s me they’re after.’ growled Winston Churchill, brushing shards of glass from his shoulders and relighting his cigar. ‘I shouldn’t have accepted your offer of asylum, Tirant. They clearly want me out of their way.’

‘The swine has gone behind.’ cursed DeBlanc. ‘If he stays back there, he’s out of reach of the S.O.L.E. gun.’

‘What about Ginger’s triplane?’ asked Corporal Price.

‘Ginger’s plane has been damaged.’ said DeBlanc, consulting his hand held tachyscreen. ‘I’m afraid we’re on our own.’

‘Why on earth do you just have one gun?’ I asked, rather belligerently.

‘What time is it?’ demanded DeBlanc, looking down at me fiercely.

‘What…???’ I shouted. ‘It doesn’t matter what time it is!’

‘It’s one fifty... ten to two.’ snapped Lolly, pulling me away from her father. ‘Leave him alone!’

‘Too tight.’ said DeBlanc, winding his pocket watch. ‘Damnation of Faust! Switch off all the lights.’

‘What good will that do?’ I demanded, searching for the circling warplane through the shattered glass ceiling.

‘Nate! Stop it!’ hissed Lolly. ‘He knows what he’s doing. He’s been in charge of The Uchronie longer than you’ve been alive.’

‘Ladies and Gentlemen, the party is over.’ shouted DeBlanc, as all the lights went off. ‘All shift crew should proceed to their forward stations. The blast shutters have been damaged and are jammed open.’

Quickly, but without panic, the St Arwar’s crowds filed out of the hall, as teams of medics rushed in to attend to the fallen.

‘We should leave as well.’ I said, as the red emergency lighting came on.

Wayne and Dwayne hurried past carrying the bodies of Les Chemise Rouge on a stretcher improvised from two flag poles.

Ginger was still out on the dance floor, lying between two tram lines of bullet holes.

‘We have to move Ginger.’ said Lolly. ‘Before that plane comes round again.’

Somewhere among the stars above, I could hear the throbbing engine of the Nazi warplane as it circled for another attack. DeBlanc was preoccupied; typing numbers into his keypad.

‘I need one volunteer to help rescue Ginger from the dance floor.’ shouted Corporal Price, standing up and dusting off his uniform.

The medics in the hall were all fully occupied tending to injured crew members. I looked at the people crouched behind the table. DeBlanc and Churchill were too old. Daphne and Lolly couldn’t do it.

‘I wish that my life would just get back to normal.’ I sighed.

‘This is your new normal.’ said Lolly, sharply. ‘You have to deal with it.’

‘Alright! I’ll do it!’ I said, standing up and stepping forward.

‘Really!’ gasped Daphne DeBlanc, huddled between Winston Churchill and her husband. ‘Tirant I can’t understand why you ever disliked Nate’s comportment. He is such a hero!’

As Corporal Price and I ran out on to the shattered dance floor I heard the note of the plane’s engine change. The pilot was coming in again. The terrifying mechanical wail of his Jericho trumpet grew deeper and louder as he put the plane into another vertical dive. Through the gaping hole that had once been the ornate, lenticular glass ceiling, I saw him burst through the smoke and scream down on the lumbering, steam powered airship.

‘Take his legs.’ shouted Price, stumbling on the debris strewn floor as we reached Ginger. Across the hall I caught a glimpse of Biffo, crouched between the wreckage of his robots, unrolling a fire hose.

As the Nazi plane let loose his cannons again, Corporal Price lifted Ginger’s lifeless body off the floor almost single handedly. I managed to grab his scorched boots and we ran together through a blizzard of bullets that threw up a withering barrage of wooden splinters and glass shards. A volley of massive redwood splinters flew in all directions as the Captain’s table shredded under the onslaught. A chunk of wood caught me in the shoulder with such force that I was spun round and forced to let go of Ginger’s legs.

Corporal Price manhandled the unconscious Ginger beneath the disintegrating table. Then, for a second time, the pilot pulled out of his dive at the last moment and zoomed over our heads. Again the rear gunner got off a few sporadic shots. One of his bullets caught the glitter ball above us and it exploded, showering us with shards of broken mirror.

‘Seven years bad luck.’ sighed Lolly, protecting the ashen faced Ginger with the tattered tablecloth. ‘Now we really are in trouble.’

‘Price… get Churchill out of here to Area 51.’ ordered DeBlanc, standing up. ‘We have to protect him at all costs.’

‘Sir! Yes, sir.’ shouted Corporal Price, helping Winston Churchill to his feet.

‘We need to synchronize watches.’ said DeBlanc, holding his pocket watch against Corporal Price’s wrist watch. ‘3…2…1… Mark. Right! Off you go.’

Price tried to assist Churchill, but the old bulldog refused any help. Leaning heavily on his walking stick, he tottered across the bullet riddled dance floor, picking his way between broken chairs, fallen banners and abandoned hats towards the double doors.

‘Nate! You’re injured.’ said Daphne, turning her attention to me.

‘It’s just a scratch.’ I lied, covering the wound with my hand. ‘Where has that plane gone now?’

‘It’s coming in from the starboard side.’ said Lolly, ‘The table won’t protect us this time.’

‘No.’ I said, listening intently. ‘I think he’s coming in from the other direction.’

‘Definitely starboard.’ said Lolly, holding a piece of mirror to Ginger’s mouth, trying to find a trace of breath.

‘They are coming in from above.’ said DeBlanc.

‘They…?’ I said.

‘Yes.’ said DeBlanc, casually typing into his tachyscreen. ‘There’s a squadron of enemy planes up there now, above and behind us.’

I looked up through the crimson haze. He was right. Amidst the smoke and stars, several Nazi planes were grouping for another attack.

‘We need to get out of here.’ I said, ‘Lolly’s right. This table won’t protect us anymore.’

‘Take Ginger now.’ ordered DeBlanc, as Corporal Price returned. ‘See if Biffo can get anything out of him. Ginger shouldn’t have come back until Tuesday… most irregular. I need more information if I am to mount a counter attack.’

‘You need to get out of here.’ said Lolly.

‘I’m staying.’ said DeBlanc, planting his feet firmly on the floor. ‘A good captain goes down with his ship. Corporal Price… take Ginger out of here. Daphne… Lolly… Go with him.’

Corporal Price heaved the dead weight of Ginger over his shoulder and Lolly and Daphne followed them out of the Great Hall.

‘We should leave as well.’ I said.

‘Send a final wireless message.’ said DeBlanc, holding his tachyscreen to his mouth. ‘Cut the engines to half steam. We can’t outrun these devils.’

‘Half steam?’ I gasped. ‘You need more speed…not less… and who are you sending wireless messages too? No one will be able to get here in time to help you.’

‘When does the F.R.O.G. we launched come round again?’ asked DeBlanc, standing firm amidst the debris of his ruined hall.

‘It just passed overhead.’ I said. ‘Lolly and I saw it about twenty minutes ago.’

‘So… that won’t help us.’ mused DeBlanc. ‘If only we could get a clear shot at them.’

‘They’re attacking from behind because they know they are safe from your single, front mounted, gun!’ I groaned.

‘Yes… How very one dimensional of them.’ said DeBlanc. ‘Don’t they realise they should be attacking from all directions… above, below, starboard, port, behind and in front. They are in trouble now!’

‘What?’ I gasped, trying to protect my injured shoulder as I got under what was left of the ruined table. ‘How can you say that they are in trouble? We are the ones in trouble! You need to take evasive action… and fast.’

‘The Uchronie is too big and too slow to make any evasive maneuvers.’ said DeBlanc, watching nonchalantly as the planes zoomed down on us. ‘She measures over five hundred thousand cubic metres… remember? These tiny little gnats with their pea shooters may spoil some of her finer features, but they shall not prevail against her.’

‘Get down man!’ I shouted. ‘They’re coming in again.’

‘I shall not be moved.’ said DeBlanc, folding his arms and gazing defiantly upwards. ‘So this is how it ends; my great expedition among the clouds.’

Beneath the shattered mahogany table I listened in terrified silence as the chorus of Jericho trumpets built up to a petrifying cacophony of noise.

‘Here they come!’ shouted DeBlanc, brandishing his sword at them wildly. ‘The forces of good and evil battle it out one last time. If we don’t end this… this will end us.’

In desperation I looked out through a ragged hole in the table. Six gull winged planes were bearing straight down on us but, this time; there were no flashes from their guns.

Relentlessly they continued their vertical dive; but no bullets tore up the dance floor.

Closer and closer they screamed; descending out of the night sky like a flock of banshees. For a moment I feared that they were on a suicide mission, determined to destroy their target at all costs. Then, at the last possible moment, the Nazi warplanes pulled away, releasing the deadly cargo they carried beneath their fuselages.

‘NO!’ we shouted together, as six enormous bombs whistled through the devastated ceiling towards us.

Before I could get to my feet there were six blinding flashes and the Uchronie’s Great Hall fragmented.

Next episode: 'Now… Cue the credits.' Released 27 December 2012