Roman experienced a sense of detachment as they raced upslope toward the unfinished cabin. He had returned a half dozen times since the accident, trying to reconstruct from bits of memory the events of that night. Each time it was the same, a deep misery that invaded his mind and body. On this trip, with Jackie yards behind him, he felt numb. It was an effort to force his mind to focus on the surroundings, the wind, slope and piles of snow that could release their pressure unexpectedly with the force of an atom bomb. Using a flashlight, he checked a crystal of snow that landed on his dark jacket sleeve. Instead of the welcome star-shaped flake, these were small. Small and dangerous, the kind that could cling together in a tight shelf of snow that might break free from its loose underlayer with deadly consequences.
About a half mile from the cabin, he pulled the snowmobile under the shelter of a massive pine. “Can’t take the road, it hasn’t been cleared in a couple years.” He swallowed hard. “We’ve got to go on foot from here—too dangerous to risk vibrating the snow with the engines.” He got out two bright red avalanche cords and tied one to his own belt, handing the other one to Jackie, along with the pack. “I didn’t have time to get the beacons. These will have to do. If one of us is buried, hopefully the red cord will show on the surface long enough to attempt a rescue. There are bare-bones safety supplies in the pack. Keep it with you.” He hoped the shock value of the cords would change her mind as he looped hers around her small waist, the feel of her in the circle of his arms making his pulse pound.
If she was afraid, she didn’t show it. She kept her chin up as he fastened on the rope, a defiant glint in her eyes.
They headed up the steep slope toward the cabin, which stood silent and snow-covered in a glade of trees.
“Why did Skip pick this spot to build a cabin?”
“The view.” He gestured to the undisturbed sweep of pristine snow and trees, backed by the rugged, moonlit mountain.
“But doesn’t the slope make it dangerous in avalanche country?”
“He intended to cut another road along the top of the ridge, put up a snow fence—that kind of thing. When we came up in winter to work on it, we’d make sure to clear the snow beforehand with explosives.” He had a picture of Danny, his face lit like a kid on Christmas morning watching Skip detonate the charges. The pain cut a raw path inside him as he recalled the exuberant teen Danny had been.
She must have read his mind. “Yeah,” she said softly. “I remember my brother loved that. Any opportunity to blow things up was just fine with him.” She cleared her throat. “Did you help build the Delucchi Lodge?”
Roman shook his head. “Only the cabin. Helped get supplies and things, but they had some people working for them. A lady housekeeper whom I only met once and a couple guys. Don’t think they live here anymore.”
Jackie mercifully stopped asking questions as they trekked single file toward the cabin. When they drew close enough that only a wide, snow-covered slope separated them from their destination, Roman stopped and tried again.
“You stay here. The more people that cross this snow, the more unstable it becomes. I’ll go check it out and come back.”
Her eyes narrowed. “I’m coming too.”
His hands balled into fists. “Why…?” He wanted to say, Why are you doing this to me? Why are you forcing me to be with you, responsible for your safety here? Right here? Where I failed all of you?
He kept his voice level. “She may not even be in the cabin. Why risk it?”
“You said it yourself. It’s avalanche country. No one should travel alone.”
He eyed the sheet of white in front of them and poked the end of his snowshoe into the white powder. It slid in readily, which meant a loose layer lurked underneath the compacted crust. Sugar snow, a north-facing slope and plenty of accumulation, thanks to the blizzard. It all added up to a disaster in the making. Would it be the second tragedy to occur in this terrible spot? He could see it in his mind so clearly.
“Can you fly me to town?” Danny had said, showing up unexpectedly at the cabin where Roman was putting up Sheetrock for Skip.
“Why?”
“Need to do a favor for a friend.”
They’d gotten into the truck and begun their descent down the road, which had been recently cleared of snow. The sun would set soon; Roman drove carefully, rounding the blind turn with care.
Then it happened. Something, some object in the road caused him to slam on his brakes. Then they were sliding, rolling and pitching into darkness.
Jackie’s hand on his arm made him jerk to the present. Her eyes seemed to penetrate right through him. “Are you remembering that night?” she asked softly.
He cleared his throat. “Must be the location. How are you doing being up here?”
She thought for a moment. “Sad, but mostly I still feel angry.”
He looked away from her face, wishing for the millionth time that he was not responsible for her pain. He deserved that anger and he would bear it. Ask the Lord for forgiveness, Wayne had advised many a time. But he would not ask, because he did not deserve it, any more than he deserved Jackie’s absolution for what he’d done. It was finished, like snow after it had fallen.
Focus, Roman. You’ve got to keep your mind sharp to get through this.
He gave it one more shot. “I’m going to cross. It would be better for you to stay here, with the phone. Call if anything happens.” When she opened her mouth to protest, he added, “If you’re stubborn enough to come, at least wait until I’ve crossed. And remember, if we do have an avalanche, try to get to the trees and cover your nose and mouth.”
“I remember. I took the wilderness survival class too.”
He eyed the deceptively peaceful scene. The smallest trigger could set off a chain reaction if the conditions were right, and no amount of preparation or training could prevent that.
He turned his back and, with foreboding strong in his gut, he set out across the snow.
Jackie felt her stomach tense as she watched Roman head across the slope, his feet moving in a slow and steady rhythm. The impossibility of the situation caught up with her. A week ago she was working in a San Francisco office. Now here she was, hiding from someone who wanted her dead, listening for the rumble of an avalanche in a frozen Alaska nowhere.
With Roman.
She’d worked so hard to put it all behind her, the accident and, most of all, her love for him. And she’d succeeded at funneling her feelings into anger—a bright, intense rage that lit her from the inside. But why was she here? And why was her heart thudding madly as she watched Roman’s tall form press through the frozen night?
Many times, in the darkest of moments, she wondered what would have happened if Roman had been the one killed in the wreck and her brother the survivor. The idea did not bring her comfort. Danny was gone and Roman too, as far away now as he could possibly be. She imagined a wall of snow sweeping down to carry him away and a feeling stirred inside her. What was it? Fear? Longing? Love? In spite of the crushing grief, she’d desperately wanted to hear from Roman in the two long years following Danny’s death. Along with the pain and anger, a trace of her love for Roman remained in the part of her that called out to him.
A small puff of snow broke free and slid several yards. Her whole body tensed as Roman stopped, watching. When it was clear no more was coming, he continued on his way.
Jackie tried to still the wild thumping in her chest. Focus on Fallon. We’ve got to find her and get her out of here.
And they’d have to tell her about her mother, she reminded herself. The knowledge sat in her stomach like a cold stone. How would Fallon react to the news? And why had she embarked on this ridiculous notion to run away in the first place?
Roman reached the far side and waved at Jackie to follow. She stepped out into the snow and kept her pace slow and steady to keep the fear at bay. Just keep your eyes on Roman.
He stood, gaze riveted on her, at the far side, body tense and hands partially outstretched, as if he could pluck her out of danger if the slope gave way. Closer and closer she walked, until she could see the lines etched in his forehead, the shock of dark hair that lay across his face.
Finally, after an eternity, she’d made it across. He took her hand and helped her to the shelter of the trees. He didn’t speak, but the relief in his face was palpable.
They made quick progress up to the cabin, arriving in minutes at the door. Roman knocked. “Fallon? Are you in there?”
There was no answer.
He knocked again, louder.
Nothing.
Jackie groaned. “All that effort and she’s not here? Where could she be? Lost in the snow somewhere?”
They stepped off the porch and were about to head toward the treacherous crossing when Roman caught her arm.
“Look.”
She would have missed it completely. Stamped on the snow was the imprint of a snowshoe.
Roman looked grim. “She’s in there, all right. We’ve got to go look.”
He stepped back up on the porch and knocked one more time. “Fallon, I know you’re in there. Jackie’s with me and we’ve got to talk to you. We’re coming in.” He turned the handle and Jackie followed him into the cabin.
The place was cold, bare walls cutting the wind but not enough to insulate against the frigid temperatures. Sheets of plywood covered the windows and kept out the light, bathing the small family room in shadow. Roman pointed to a hallway that led to the back. They walked quietly, though Jackie was not sure why. Fallon was not in the tiny bedroom. Jackie peeked into the bathroom and found it empty as well. They doubled back to check the kitchen.
Roman picked up an empty water bottle. “Well, someone’s been home.”
A packet of peanuts and two apples lay on the table. “So where is she?”
He went to the pantry closet and opened the door, listening for a moment, before he sat down in a chair. “Fallon, we’re here and we’re staying. We can eat peanuts and apples and hang out all night until your dad can take over. Either way, it’s going to get pretty cold up there.”
The silence extended so long Jackie was about to speak, but Roman held a finger to his lips.
A creaking of wood and a sudden gust of freezing air floated out of the closet and Fallon climbed down the ladder. When she turned to face them, her nose was red from the cold and her eyes were swollen as if she’d been crying.
She planted her hands on her hips and glared at them. “What are you doing here?”
Jackie would have laughed if the girl hadn’t looked so dead serious. “We could ask you the same question. Your parents have been looking all over for you.”
She sniffed. “Oh, really? They needed someone to peel potatoes, I guess?”
Jackie fought the urge to shake the girl by the shoulders. She kept her tone light. “No, they’ve been worried about you, like all of us. We would never have guessed you’d be here, except that Mick told us you’d gone to him and we figured out the rest.”
“I thought he was a cool guy. He was Mr. Friendly at the Winterfest. When I show up to ask him a favor, he practically slams the door in my face. What a loser.”
Roman raised an eyebrow. “I think you surprised him.”
“No kidding.”
Jackie took a breath. “How did you think he was going to be able to help you?”
“I just needed a ride. He’s got the snowmobile—it wouldn’t kill him to run me to town. I would have taken one from the lodge, but Dax and Lloyd were out on them.”
Lloyd knew how to ride a snowmobile? She wondered where he’d gone in the wee hours of the morning when Fallon had snuck out. She put away the thought to revisit later. “Why were you headed to town?”
She shrugged.
Roman shook his head. “I could have flown you.”
“I didn’t want my parents to know, and you would go right over and tell them.”
He nodded. “Yes, I would. They’re your parents and they have a right to know what you’re up to.”
Fallon’s lip trembled. “I knew you’d say that.”
Jackie tried a gentler tone. “We need to talk to you about your mother.”
“I don’t want to hear it.”
Roman held up a calming hand. “Let’s not waste time. Point is, you’ve been busily making plans to run away, everyone has been going crazy trying to find you and you owe your parents some sort of explanation. Your mother…”
Fallon cut him off, her feet wide apart, eyes flashing. “I don’t owe them anything, do you hear me? Not anything.”
Jackie recoiled a step from the anger in Fallon’s tone. “I’m pretty sure every teenager hates their parents at one time or another. Plenty have considered running away, too. Whatever is bothering you, you can work it out with your folks, but we need to…”
Tears began to run down Fallon’s face. “No, no, no. They’ve lied to me my whole life. It’s because of them that this all happened.” She gestured wildly to the cabin.
“What?” Roman said, frowning. “What do you mean?”
“It’s their fault that I had to ask him. I couldn’t figure out how to do it myself.” She cried, anguished sobs that seemed to be wrenched out of her. “If only I hadn’t asked him. He’d be alive.”
Jackie fought through her confusion. “Asked who?”
Fallon closed her eyes and hugged herself. “Danny.”