Chapter 10 - Reconciliation

"So... have your boyfriend and I successfully gotten your storylines back on track?"

Quinn stared at the DILF (DIDF?) in front of him, trying to ignore Alain's impish smile and raised eyebrow (and the very steamy memories they brought back). "You're off mic right now because I'm supposed to be prepping you to talk with Stephen and Wes," he reminded him.

Alain gave a little shrug, still smiling. "Of course, but isn't the long game part of that? I'm quite personally invested in getting them to the finale. And Carson and Darren."

"I'd heard there might have been some allegiance talk going on," Quinn admitted. "And I suppose you and Nathaniel are going to be the third couple?"

"Oh god, no. We'll be the semifinal elimination, so you can get laid and focus on the finale instead of blue-balling it. Although..." he paused, gaze running down Quinn's body in a very pointed way. "That does give me a few other thoughts about how we might be able to help you...."

Quinn's throat went dry, cock twitching harder in his shorts despite himself. "...I heard there was a couple caught in the broom closet last night," he said, hearing his own voice grow breathless. "I hope that was you and Nathaniel?"

Alain hummed in agreement. Then he grabbed the wooden chair that sat behind the camera, starting to pull it back towards the door of the confessional room. "He's incredibly sweet on you, Quinn. He also mentioned you might benefit from... shall we say... a visit from the sex pixie?"

Quinn bit his lip on a soft groan, watching as Alain wedged the chair under the door handle, then grabbed a blister pack of lube from the bin on the side table. When Nathaniel had suggested it the day before Quinn had tried to tell himself that his sweet lover was only being fair, but if he'd told Alain about it as well.... "...what are you doing?"

"Getting briefed by production on how you'd like me to talk with Stephen and Wes," Alain replied, returning to stroke an arm around his waist. He drew Quinn against him, stroking down to squeeze his ass. "I was just thinking it might be more efficient if I pushed you back over that table and railed your hungry little hole while we did."

"Hnng," Quinn replied, blood rushing south too fast to manage anything else. He drew a deep breath to try and restart his brain, then started to unbutton his shorts. "Yeah. Okay. Let's do that."

"I'm glad you're still so amiable," Alain purred, pulling him into a blistering kiss. "Now, my pretty one... take off your pants and let's make plans."

~~~

When Carson saw Darren in the dining room the next morning, the look his lover cast at him was still worried and anxious. But at least now he was willing to look at him, and the anxiety Carson had been feeling over the past few days was replaced by loving concern for the sweet man who'd already been so vulnerable with him. Wordlessly he slid into the chair next to him and pulled Darren into a tight hug, feeling a rush of relief as Darren sagged into him without resistance.

Carson buried his fingers in his thick ginger locks, kissing his temple. "It's okay," he murmured. "We'll work things out. It'll be okay, I promise."

"I really hope so," Darren whispered, holding him tighter, and despite how worried he seemed, Carson couldn't help but feel anything but hopeful.

"Good morning gentlemen." Asha, the head production assistant, brought her clipboard to the table as she did every morning. "This is the plan for this morning. Stephen and Wes, you'll be with crew number one. We'd like to film some time with you exploring what happened at elimination. We'd like Alain to help you work through that, if you're all willing?"

It was only a little surprising - Carson knew he and Stephen were friends outside the competition, and Alain had started with Wes as his date. They agreed, and Alain disappeared off with Quinn to prepare.

"Carson and Darren," Asha continued, "you'll be with crew number two. We'd like you to talk with Freya for a bit, if you will?"

Carson squeezed Darren's thigh gently, giving him a questioning look, and Darren nodded.

It was a bit torturous to have to wait through getting set up and being fussed over by hair and makeup, but finally they were settled outside on the second floor balcony. The early morning and soft breeze meant it was still comfortable to sit outside, and though Carson wanted nothing more than to have Darren in his arms as they talked he let production settle them a bit apart on the edge of one of the double loungers, half-facing each other as Freya sat opposite to them.

"I'm really, really glad you two chose each other last night," she started, with genuine warmth. "I've seen a lot of couples - gay and straight - give up so easily as soon as things get tough, even when there's a real connection there.  It takes strength even just to get to the point of talking like you are now. I hope that no matter what happens the two of you can feel proud about coming together this morning."

"I hope so too," Carson agreed softly.

Darren sat slumped forward, shoulders hunched. He gave Carson a small, hopeful smile, then turned to Freya. "Thank you," he said quietly. "I know I must have caused a lot of strife for more than just Carson these past couple days. I'm sorry about that."

Freya smiled and shook her head. "Emotions run high here, I think everyone understands that. Between the contest and the show it puts a lot of pressure on everyone. But it's really an opportunity to help you grow stronger, if you'll let it."

Carson reached for one of Darren's hands, covering it with his own and squeezing gently, hoping to reassure him. "Stronger?"

Freya nodded. "If you've ever followed my dads, you probably know about how they broke up when I was little. What made it even harder was how the tabloids ate them alive for it. They both say that the hardest thing about getting back together wasn't making up, but swallowing their pride enough to take the first step after all of that scrutiny. But taking that first step was what let them rebuild their relationship on trust and honesty, with a stronger foundation than ever before. It's been the most incredible example of a loving relationship to me, so please believe me when I say I know you can get there, too."

"I hope so," Carson said, squeezing Darren's hand again and turning more towards him. "Darren... I'm sorry I haven't tried to help you these past few days. I was hurt, and it was easy to run away. But I want to be here for you. Whatever it is that's eating you up inside... I promise I'll listen, I'll try my best to understand. And..." his stomach twisted with old anxiety, and he tried to remind himself firmly not to jump to conclusions without knowing anything. "If it's something I've done, if I've... hurt you - in any way - I'll do my best to make it right."

Darren gave him a trembling smile and shook his head, shifting to face him more. He turned his hand under Carson's to clasp it with his own. "You haven't. None of this is your fault. I just...." He stopped, drawing a deep breath and letting it out slowly."

"Darren, is there something you need to admit to Carson?" Freya asked softly.

Darren closed his eyes for a moment, letting out a soft, soundless laugh. Then he reached out with his other hand with a little pleading look, holding Carson's tight as he grasped it. "I... lied about a lot of things, coming here," he said finally. "Lied about my age - I'm thirty-one - I lied about... this is reality TV, you know? People are just here for their fifteen minutes of fame, or like... to build their online following or - hell, just to get a free trip and have a good time playing the game and ogling hot men...."

Carson focused on breathing slowly, and not jumping to conclusions. He rubbed the backs of Darren's hands with his thumbs, waiting for him to continue.

"I think I didn't realize until I came here... how difficult it is for me to actually get close to someone," Darren continued after a moment, staring down at their hands. "Feels like I've uprooted myself so many times that I just... told myself it didn't matter. Friends are easy, friends are safe, and if I don't fall in love I'm not risking anything, I can't get hurt. I told myself I didn't need anyone. But then I..." he swallowed hard, looking up at Carson imploringly. "I... I came here, and... I realized you weren't playing. And I - I didn't want to be playing either. And it - " he drew a trembling breath, eyes bright " - it scares the shit out of me, Carson!"

Carson let out a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding, choking back something that felt like both a laugh and a sob. "...yeah. It is kind of fucking terrifying, isn't it?"

Darren stared at him in surprise for a moment. Then, slowly, he started to smile, small but real, shifting closer to him. "I'm sorry I didn't pick you that morning. Especially after... how close we'd gotten. I got scared and I tried to run. But... I want to stop running. I want to be with you."

"Me too," Carson said softly, heart aching. "And I'm here. For anything you need."

"Maybe...." Darren bit his lip, voice softer. "A cuddle?"

Carson certainly didn't need any more encouragement than that. He climbed onto the lounge to press close, Darren's body in the V of his thighs as he pulled him into a kiss. "Absolutely. Anything you need, Dare."

He could feel a shudder run through Darren's body as he held tight, drawing a trembling breath against his mouth. "Just need to be close to you again."

"Carson," Freya said softly, reminding him she was still there. "Is this what you need from Darren to move forward?"

Yes, Carson wanted to say immediately, but forced himself to think despite Darren's worried look. "I think," he started slowly, watching Darren, "that if your default is to protect yourself by pulling away... mine is self-sacrifice. At least... that's what my brother is trying to help me work on. Because... even if sometimes it feels like it's easier just to not say anything and avoid trouble, the reality is... I need to be willing to talk about what I need, because - because expecting my lover to read my mind will cause far more trouble. So... maybe we can both work on that? I'll do my best to express my needs if you're willing to talk when you're worried about something....?"

Part of him had been worried he was asking too much. He couldn't help it. But Darren, surprisingly, relaxed more, giving him a soft smile. "I... did get that impression of you," he admitted, stroking his hands up and down his back. "Don't get me wrong, your protectiveness is hella sexy, Carson... but I do want to know that I'm pleasing you, too. I promise I'll do my best not to run. We can talk things out."

Carson couldn't help but kiss him, heart aching with happiness. "And I promise to be open and honest about my needs."

"This is really beautiful footage, guys," Quinn called softly from behind the camera station. "Can we film some thank-yous with Freya before she goes back inside, and we can get a bit of footage with just the two of you?"

That was easy enough, and filming just with Darren was even better. "Thank you for coming back to me," Carson murmured between sweet kisses. "Feels so good to be with you. I don't...." he gave a soft, helpless laugh. "I don't fall for people like this. But something about being with you... I can't help it."

Darren echoed his laugh, nodding. "I know. It's... it's really very much the same for me, Carson. I've had so many meaningless flings, but I never...." He swallowed hard, meeting his gaze. "We can continue this after the competition, can't we? I don't want to make any assumptions, but... Carson...." Darren let out a slow, shaky breath. "I want to be part of your life."

Heart aching, Carson nodded, kissing him until he felt like he could speak again. "Me too, Dare. I really want that. As long as... as long as you think you might be okay with maybe becoming a - a Guncle?"

Darren choked back a laugh, eyes bright, nodding. "It would be the most incredible honor to meet your kids, Carson."

What else could he do but kiss him for that? Just thinking about it gave him so much joy that he couldn't do anything but lose himself in Darren's kisses and their embrace. In the warmth of his body in his arms, stroking up and down his back for the security of his presence, sliding a hand into his hair to hold him to them. Vaguely he was aware of Quinn and the camera operator talking, probably resetting, but Carson wasn't about to stop until they directed him otherwise. And from the way Darren wiggled closer to him - stroking his back, his thighs, his ass - Darren was clearly very much thinking the same.

"Hey, Dare?" Quinn approached the lounge as the cameras moved inside, another aid coming by with a ladder to take the second one down from the mount on the balcony.

Darren looked up at him pleadingly. "I know you need confessionals, but can we stay a little longer? Please?"

Quinn chuckled softly. "Actually, we don't need you for a while. I was coming to get your mics. Battery packs are running low, must not have gotten plugged in last night or something."

Carson looked up at him in amazement, but Darren was already unclipping his own battery pack from the back of his shorts. "Thanks, green eyes," he said with warm affection, passing over the pack. "How long do we have?"

"A good hour or two at least," Quinn replied, grinning. "I'll make sure to come and give a warning." He clipped both battery packs to the front of his button down and looped the mics around his neck.

"Quinn and I go way, way back," Darren said with a little sheepish smile. "He... kinda recruited me."

Quinn squeezed his shoulder affectionately. "Lost a couple of contestants last minute, Darren agreed to step in. I owe him big time. Shouldn't be anyone in the room behind you for a while either," he added, pulling something out of his pants pocket and pressing it into Darren's palm before starting inside.

Three blister packs of lube. Darren gave a surprised, breathless laugh. "You're an angel!" he called after him, then looked up at Carson with sudden shyness. "That is... if you want to...."

Carson answered wordlessly, claiming his mouth with a low groan. In moments he had Darren pinned under him on the lounge, arching up against him with as much eager desire as Carson had felt from him the night they'd made love.

Darren tangled their legs together as they kissed, his hands moving hungrily over as much of Carson's body as he could reach. "Feels so good to be close to you again," he breathed, words catching on a soft groan. "Oh god, Carson, need you so bad...."

God, how was it possible for one man to make him so hard so fast? Carson wanted nothing more than to lose himself to the pleasure of his body with wild abandon, finally taking advantage of relative privacy. "I wanna kiss every freckle on your body," he breathed, groaning at the way it made Darren whimper, arching up against him eagerly.

"Oh fuck yeah," he panted, squirming so the length of his erection rubbed alongside Carson's. "Oh god, you make me so hard. Can do anything. Just say you'll fuck me, Carson, please...?"

Carson groaned, sucking hard at his lower lip, for a moment overwhelmed by the memories of that bliss, not able to think about anything but being inside him. But it did bring back an old worry - one that had plagued him far too frequently over the past few days - and he'd promised to be open with him....

He drew back. "Dare...."

Darren gave a little worried smile. "Too much?"

Carson shook his head immediately. "No. No, not at all, I - " he gave a soft chuckle to try and push away nervousness. "I really, really want to fuck you. God, Dare, being inside you - I don't think I've ever had sex that felt like that."

Darren groaned at his words, arching up to claim his mouth again. "Me too," he breathed. "It was so fucking good, Carson, please...."

It would be so easy to lose himself in that pleasure, but he knew it wouldn't be enough to make the worry go away. "Dare, if - if it's ever not... you'll tell me, right? If I...." God, why was it so hard to get out? "If I hurt you...."

"You didn't," Darren assured immediately. He slipped a hand between them to cup his cock through Carson's swim trunks, voice growing lower in unmistakable appreciation. "Don't worry. I can absolutely handle you, big boy."

"I hope so," Carson replied, half distracted by his kisses but needing to continue. "Just... promise you'll tell me, please. I won't be angry, I swear, I just - I can't - "

Darren drew back at Carson's worry and nodded, serious with understanding. "I will. Of course I will. I promise," he said, cupping Carson's cheek gently. "I'll make sure you always know how it is for me, don't worry. Carson..." he hesitated, as if searching for the right words, his voice careful. "...has it been a problem in the past for you?"

"I..." Thank god the cameras were off. Carson drew a deep breath, focusing his gaze on Darren's shoulder, face burning with remembered shame. "I... didn't know, she... never told me until we started fighting, and then...."

Darren drew a soft hiss, arching up to wrap Carson in his embrace, drawing his face into his neck. "I'm sorry," he murmured. "That's a really, really shitty thing for her to do, Carson. And it's not on you."

"I should have known." Carson held him tighter, closing his eyes against how terrible he felt even now. "I should have been able to tell - "

"Shh..." Darren kissed his hair, still holding him tight. "If she kept it from you, then it was her choice. People often put on an act to please their lovers, for many reasons. I've certainly done it with kinks I haven't been that into. Using it in a fight is really, really cruel, and I promise I'll never, ever do that to you."

Carson exhaled, feeling like he wanted to sob with relief. He'd half worried Darren would judge him - how could he not when he felt so much shame about it himself? - but he hadn't expected how good it would be to hear his lover say such things, with such a calm and fervent promise. "...thank you. That means a lot to me."

Darren shifted in his embrace to urge Carson next to him, cuddling close and pressing soft kisses to his face. "You've never bottomed before, have you?"

Carson shook his head. "...I think I'd like to learn, if you'd like that. Nathaniel..." he smiled wryly, shaking his head. "...talks a lot about how good it is."

"It's really, really good," Darren agreed with a smile. "And... we can work towards that in time. I am verse. I'm really, really enjoying being topped right now, though. It's been a while." He cupped Carson's face, holding his gaze seriously. "It's a very different kind of pleasure than fucking someone. Intense in a way that... can be painful if you're not ready for it, physically and emotionally. But I know myself in bed very well, I've had a lot of experience. If I ever need a break or more lube or anything I'll communicate that. It doesn't mean you've hurt me, alright? Can you trust me with that?"

Carson hesitated, but nodded. "I... I'll do my best."

Darren smiled, kissing his mouth. "Thank you. And after a lot of fucking it's definitely something you can feel the next day. But I don't find that unpleasant, alright? I promise."

Carson nodded, pushing away the uncertainty again. "Alright. Thank you."

Darren smiled, drawing him back into a longer kiss. He wrapped one thigh over Carson's body, arching against him with a sigh of pleasure. "Sorry if I made you worry about that when I picked Alain to date," he murmured against his lips. "It had nothing to do with the sex. Just my own emotions. I..." he drew a trembling breath, voice very small as he looked up at him. "...I'm falling in love with you, Carson."

Carson kissed him, hard and trembling. If he'd had any question about it before, what he felt now after talking through everything with him left no doubt. "Feels really good to hear that, love," he murmured fervently. "Especially without the cameras." He stole another kiss, then met his gaze. "Falling in love with you has been more magical than I could have ever imagined. Darren, I've never felt this kind of love for anyone."

His lover made a choked noise, halfway between a laugh and a sob, pulling him into a trembling kiss. "Please can we fuck about it now?" he asked, with equal teasing sweetness and desperation.

Carson groaned, pressing him back into the lounge again, letting the lure of Darren's desire draw him in. "Oh yes," he breathed, starting to kiss along his jaw. "God yes. Gonna take full advantage of having the balcony all to ourselves."

Darren groaned, pulling Carson's t-shirt up. "Wanna finally see you naked."

"Fuck. Yes. Oh my god, I wanna look at you..." It didn't take long to shed his clothes even while trying to pull Darren's off at the same time, until finally he knelt between his thighs with Darren spread out underneath him.

Darren smiled, arching and stretching his arms up above his head in a way that was incredibly pornographic. He sucked on his full bottom lip as his gaze moved hungrily over Carson's body. "Mmm, jesus christ you're so fucking hot...."

A soft laugh escaped Carson's lips that was not so much disbelieving as amazed that his lover was so pleased by it. He stroked up Darren's thighs hungrily as they wrapped loosely around his hips, fingers pressing into the well-sculpted muscle, feeling almost mesmerized by the sight and feel of his strength coming together. Moving up his hips, rubbing his thumbs along his iliac furrow and watching Darren's erection twitch, arousal pearling at the tip. "Fuck," be breathed, and couldn't hold back from leaning down to kiss his stomach, sucking on that tanned, freckled skin. Kissing and sucking at one pert nipple and filling his hands with the exquisite strength of his body. "God, the moment I saw you...." a disbelieving laugh escaped his throat. "Thought that whole thing about getting hard at first sight was just a myth."

"Yeah?" Darren sounded pleased, fingers stroking through his hair and down his back. "Well, that was incredibly mutual, handsome. And that was before I saw this incredible cock...." He grabbed one of the blister packs from where he'd left it on the lounge, pressing it into Carson's hand. "Speaking of... please?"

Carson claimed his lips, shifting so that he could reach between his thighs. He indulged for a moment, stroking and squeezing, then finally twisting open the lube and starting to fuck him open with slick fingers. "Fuck, Dare... first thing I'm gonna do when we get out of here is spend hours eating this incredible ass...."

Darren bit his bottom lip with a little desperate whine, both of which went straight to Carson's cock. "...after you've fucked me into the bed?"

Carson groaned, pressing his fingers deeper. "Anything you want, love," he promised, trying not to get distracted. "You really need my cock so badly?"

Darren squirmed up onto his fingers. "So fucking bad. It's seriously been so long since I've... since I've been with someone I've wanted to fuck me... please...."

Was there something more to what he was saying? Perhaps about trust, and being able to get close to people? Carson kissed him, long and deep, easing his fingers from him to slick his cock. "Anything you need, love," he promised again, arranging Darren's hips and pressing closer, starting to carefully ease inside him.

"Oh fuck, yeah...!" Darren's eyes fell closed as he arched underneath him with a groan. He reached back to grab the top of the lounge behind him, thighs tightening against Carson's sides. Had anyone ever been so enticing? The long lines of his body, lean but strong, that freckled skin, sunkissed everywhere except his bikini area, and the obvious pleasure in his expression.... All of it was on par with the pleasure of his body, stretching tight around the head of his cock and finally granting him entrance.

Darren bit his full lip on a whine, heels digging into his back to urge him deeper. And as exquisite as he'd always found Darren, this unexpected eagerness had been what left Carson feeling completely helpless to his desire. The way Darren welcomed his cock like he wasn't complete without it, shuddering in pleasure as he rocked deeper, urging more....

Carson curled over him as he buried himself to the hilt, pulling Darren's hips up onto his lap. "Feels like nothing else," he managed to gasp, suddenly needing him to understand. "So good, taking every inch of me, fuck - "

Darren squirmed on him, fucking himself down on his cock with a trembling groan, voice rough with pleasure. "Oh fuck yeah, Carson, fill me up so good - ! Oh god, please fuck me - !"

How could he do anything but when Darren was so encouraging? When he could remember so vividly the first time he'd been inside him and how quickly Darren had come apart on his cock? He wrapped one arm around his hips, drawing back more to fill him again and crying out at how good it felt. "Fuck, Dare, your hot little ass feels so fucking good - !"

"Don't hold back," Darren gasped, thighs tightening around him. "Fuck me like you wanted to the other night, oh god, Carson, wreck me with that huge cock, make me scream - !"

Carson was stuttering up harder into him before he could even question it, his own need and passion answering his lover's pleas. He grabbed hold of the top of the lounge with his free hand to anchor himself, snapping up into him. He felt drunk on the rush of sensation each thrust brought, the heat of his body enveloping him, the breathless, triumphant cry of pleasure it pulled from Darren's throat -

"Take my cock so good, baby," Carson found himself gasping, half praise and half wonder. "So good - stroking every inch of me - so fucking good inside you - fucking god, Dare, you're gonna make me come so hard - !"

"Fuck - !" A shudder ran through him that Carson could feel, tightening around his cock, Darren's voice helpless and desperate. "Oh fuck yeah - ! Carson - god - please come inside - " And then, with a cry, he was coming, his body milking Carson's cock with exquisite desperation. All Carson could do was grind deep and follow, spilling hot and slick inside him, every part of him overwhelmed by the pleasure of him.

Darren's thighs clenched tight around him, fingers tangling in his hair. His breath caught as they panted together, shoulders shaking, choking out a noise that Carson couldn't identify as a laugh or a sob.

"Shh," he soothed softly, nuzzling his jaw, fingers stroking through his hair. "I'm here, my love. I've got you."

Darren pressed a breathless kiss to his temple, dragging fingers through his hair. "Oh god," he gasped, with what was definitely an incredulous laugh. "Oh god, maybe I really am a himbo."

Carson gave a questioning noise, drawing back to look at him. Darren smiled shakily, eyes bright. "Just... thinking that I fucking played myself," he said, disbelieving. "Coming here thinking I was just going to fuck around, and then...." He cupped Carson's cheek, stroking his skin gently with no small amount of wonder in his gaze. He let out a trembling breath. "...terrifying as it is... I really like how it feels to be falling in love with you."

Carson managed a nod, pressing a trembling kiss to his mouth. "I do, too," he murmured. "And... if wanting to take care of you for the rest of my life makes me a DILF... maybe I played myself a little bit, too."

~~~~

Contestant Progress

	Day 1	Day 2	Day 3	Day 4	Day 5	Day 7	Day 7: Elimination	Day 8
Darren	Carson	Carson	Carson	Carson	Alain	Alain	Carson	Carson
Carson	Darren	Darren	Darren	Darren	Trevor	(Spare)	Darren	Darren
Wes	Alain	Alain	Alain	Alain	Tydall	Tydall	Stephen	Stephen
Stephen	Zhehan	Trevor	Trevor	Trevor	(spare)	Nathaniel	Wes	Wes
Trevor	Tydall	Stephen	Stephen	Stephen	Carson	Carson	Kaneda	Kaneda
Kaneda						Trevor	Trevor	Trevor
Zhehan	Stephen	Tydall	Tydall	Tydall	Xiang	Xiang	Xiang	Xiang
Xiang					Zhehan	Zhehan	Zhehan	Zhehan
Ryland		Blythe	Blythe	Blythe	Blythe	Blythe	Blythe	Blythe
Blythe	Luiz	Ryland	Ryland	Ryland	Ryland	Ryland	Ryland	Ryland
Nathaniel						Stephen	Alain	Alain
Alain	Wes	Wes	Wes	Wes	Darren	Darren	Nathaniel	Nathaniel
Tydall	Trevor	Zhehan	Zhehan	Zhehan	Wes	Wes	——(eliminated)
Luiz	Blythe	(spare)	———————————————-  (eliminated)