Tia raised her head off his chest and stared down at him. “Have you gone completely insane? I am not about to become your wife.”
He tilted his head and smiled. “Of course you are. You just haven’t realized it yet.”
She would have to pull out her research books on belladonna poisoning. Could it cause a form of madness that would make a viscount believe he should marry a wise woman because they had made love? She certainly hoped it was just an effect of the poison.
“Put your head down and stop thinking about it,” he said quietly.
“How do you expect me to do such a thing?”
“I haven’t officially proposed to you.”
She sighed and put her head back down. Perhaps he was saying all this to lessen his guilt over his vow. It did put him in a tough spot. Somehow, he would have to justify to himself that he hadn’t broken his vow when, in fact, he had. “I suppose you haven’t.”
He slowly caressed her arm. “Are you feeling all right?”
Was she? She hadn’t expected that making love with a man would be so exciting. But it was odd at the same time. She had always said she wanted marriage before she indulged in the physical aspects of love. But she couldn’t tell him that after his brief comment on marrying her. That would only reinforce his belief that they should marry, when that would be the worst thing for both of them. They would never suit. Attraction they had, love they did not.
“Tia?”
“I am all right.”
“Indeed? Do you realize what a terrible liar you are?” He rolled her over to her back and then rolled on top of her. He kissed her softly with such tenderness it almost made her cry. “What is bothering you?”
She closed her eyes to keep his prying gazing from reading too much. “I didn’t know what to expect, Braden. It was all a little much.”
“Open your eyes, Tia,” he demanded.
She didn’t want to. Every time she stared into his light blue eyes, she was lost. How could she feel anything for him? He’d fully admitted that he was a rake. He’d said he done some dreadful things as an adolescent—most likely justified if his father had truly died, leaving them nothing.
“Tia.”
She blinked her eyes open and stared into his eyes. She’d been told by so many people he was a rake. Why had he decided to reform before she met him? This would be so much easier if he just left the room and her life. Surely, the lust she’d felt for him would be satisfied now.
“Braden,” she whispered.
Why did she have to see good in him? He was supposed to be a gambler, a rake, and possibly a killer. And yet, she knew how well he treated his servants and tenants. She knew how much he cared for his brother, even when Jonathon had made a mess of his life. Braden could have forced her to go back to the estate several times, but he hadn’t.
“What is wrong?” he whispered and then kissed her jaw. “I don’t want to see you sad.”
She wrapped her arms around him. His comfort enveloped her, making her feel safe. “Please don’t speak of marriage,” she pleaded. “I cannot think about marrying you.”
He sighed. “As you wish.”
“Don’t be angry.”
He rolled off her and stared at the ceiling. “Why would I be angry? I wait over six months to make love to a woman and instead of being pleased that I wish to marry her, she turns me out.”
“The only reason you want to marry me is because of your vow. What exactly was your vow to your friends?”
“That the next woman I made love to would be my wife.” He tossed off the coverlet and picked up his trousers. “So it was all for naught. I suppose I can go back to my corrupt ways now.”
“Braden, please wait.”
“Unless you are going to consent to be my wife, there is nothing left to stay for.” He quickly grabbed the rest of his clothing off the floor and stormed from the room.
Tia stared at the door, unable to move. Finally, she lay back down and let her tears fall. Why would this bother him so much? They were opposites, weren’t they? He enjoyed town life, while the more time she spent here, the more she missed her home and family.
There had to be more reasons they wouldn’t suit. She frowned in thought.
They both want to save Jonathon. No, that was a commonality, not disharmony. He’d lived his life like a rake, except he didn’t seem to be that any longer. Or at least he was trying not to be one. There had to be more that they did not have in common!
Perhaps the question for him was, Why did he want to marry her? And there was only one way to find out.
Braden lounged in a chair by the fireplace in the library. He sipped brandy, wondering how long it would take to convince Tia to marry him. When he’d had what he thought was a brilliant plan, he never imagined she would refuse him. Ever since he attained the title, women had thrown themselves at him in order to wring a proposal out of him. He’d just assumed Tia would consent.
He should have known better. Tia was unlike any other woman he’d ever met. Had he thought out the plan, instead of succumbing to it in a moment of weakness, he would have realized that she would never agree. She obviously still had feelings for his brother. Otherwise, she would have returned to the estate to check on her sister. Or accepted his proposal.
Still, the only way to complete his reformation was to entice her to accept him and his flaws. It might take time, but it would be worth it. Tia would make a good wife, albeit difficult at times. He could handle her . . . except when she ran off, his conscience reminded him. But would she make a good viscountess?
Probably not.
She was far too willing to speak her mind, do things her way even if she bucked convention. Maybe that wasn’t a bad thing if she were to be married to him. Most would say he wasn’t a good viscount. Which he wasn’t. He didn’t know anything about being one. A rake, a scoundrel, or a gambler—that he knew how to do.
But he promised his mother he would become a better person and take the opportunity in front of him. Then again, he also promised to look after his brother and that wasn’t going so well, either.
Who would know if he didn’t keep his vow?
He would.
So, there was no option here. He would find a way of marrying her. He sighed before taking a mouthful of brandy. The heady liquid danced across his tongue before warming his belly.
“I’m sorry.”
Braden turned his head to see Tia standing at the threshold in her night rail with a shawl over her shoulders. “Come into the room by the fire before you catch cold.”
Slowly, she walked into the room and sat in the wingback chair closest to the fire. He rose and poured her a brandy. Handing it to her, he said, “I assume you have recovered from your brandy intoxication and can drink it again.”
A slight smile raised her lips. “Perhaps, but only one glass.”
“I will make certain that is all you drink.” He returned to his seat. “Now, what were you apologizing for?”
“Refusing your offer.”
“Have you reconsidered?”
She shook her head. “No, I just thought I was rather rude about it. You deserve someone better.”
Braden tilted his head back and laughed heartily.
“And what is so amusing about that?”
“You are one of only a very small handful of people who would ever say I deserve someone better. Most would say I never deserved the title, much less a beautiful, caring woman to share it with.” He sipped his brandy before adding, “And they would be right.”
“No,” she said softly as she stared at her drink. “You are trying to reform yourself. A man who attempts such a thing should be looked upon with envy. There are very few people who can truly change.”
But could he? After only six months, he’d broken his vow.
“What is wrong?” she asked.
He shrugged. “I don’t think I’m doing a very good job of reforming if I can’t last more than six months.”
She went silent for a while. “I did deliberately entice you. And you did reject me the first time.”
“I suppose I did. But the blame is solely on me. I should never have walked into your room.”
“You were trying to make me feel better. There is nothing wrong with that.” She gave him a half smile before sipping her brandy slowly. “Honestly, why would you want to marry me?”
Braden stared at her lovely, freckled face. When did he start to love freckles on a woman’s face? She was beautiful, but that was not what she’d want to hear. “You are a very caring person, Tia. I would never tire of you.”
Watching her face fall, he wondered if she needed platitudes of love. He didn’t love her . . . did he? Of course not.
“So now what?” she asked.
He decided it was time to drop the idea of marriage. Obviously, getting her used to the idea would take time. “I’m not entirely certain.”
“I suppose we go back to what we were doing and find Jonathon before he kills himself.”
It always came back around to his brother. Braden did want to find him, but now wondered what would happen once he did. Would Tia run into his arms and profess her love? He couldn’t think about that or he would never try to find Jonathon.
“Braden?”
He looked over at her and his heart pounded in his chest. “We find Jonathon.”
“Of course we will. But not tomorrow. I want you in bed all day.” Her cheeks reddened in embarrassment.
He raised an eyebrow at her.
“I meant, you must rest one more day before returning to your normal activities.”
“I believe I proved an hour ago that I am up to any task.”
She gave him a humorless look. “You shall rest one more day.” Tia sipped the last of her brandy and rose. After placing the glass on the table, she said. “I shall go up now.”
“Good night.”
“You’re not coming up?”
“I suppose if I don’t, my wise woman will scold me.” He rose slowly, feeling weaker than he wanted to admit to anyone. “Sleep in my room tonight. We made a mess of your bed.”
“I couldn’t do that,” she said, walking toward the threshold.
“I shall be a perfect gentleman.”
“And who would want that,” she muttered so softly he almost didn’t hear her.
Braden smiled. “Come along.”
She hesitated when they reached the door to his room.
“Why are you stopping? You’ve been sleeping in my room for the past few nights.”
“In a chair.”
“Well, you can sleep in a chair tonight if you prefer it to a nice, soft bed.” He brushed past her and opened the door. “I promised to behave tonight.”
“Very well.” She walked into the room and then into the bedchamber. Quickly, she slipped off her shawl and crawled under the covers.
Braden tossed some coal on the fire before sitting on the edge of the bed. After removing his shirt, he unbuttoned his trousers and slid them off. For her modesty, he kept his drawers on. Once under the covers, he drew her near.
“I thought you were to be a gentleman tonight?”
“I am. I just want to hold you,” he whispered, then kissed her head.
She released a long sigh. “Why did you make that vow to reform? You couldn’t have been all that bad. I know you said you’d been with too many women, but that doesn’t mean you have to be celibate like a priest.”
“It wasn’t just women. It was everything. Before my mother died, she made me promise that if I inherited the title, I would do better in life. Settle down and find a fine woman to marry. Stop gambling and chasing women.”
“And have you done that for her?”
“I am trying, Tia. I really want to make the estate profitable again.”
She pushed up on his chest and stared down at him. “The estate is not profitable?”
“It is not what an estate of that size should be making. I have money from the Red Door to invest in Middleton Hall. By making a few changes, things should improve. We’re far from bankrupt, just not where I want the estate.”
“And if things don’t improve?”
“They will.” They must. He was determined to give his children a better life than he’d had. Braden closed his eyes as he thought about his children. He had always been so careful with other women to be sure he didn’t spill his seed inside them. The last thing he’d wanted was some bastard-born child or a woman attempting to coerce him into marriage. But with Tia, he hadn’t even thought about it. She could be carrying his child right now.
The idea that she might be carrying his child warmed his heart and soul. With her caring nature, she would make a wonderful mother. But he also knew that unlike most women, wise women didn’t care if they had children outside of marriage. So even if she were to become with child, there was no certainty that she would marry him.
She was without a doubt the most vexing woman he had ever met.