When I was a kid, my mom had one rule: be honest. I can still hear her saying, “If you tell me the truth, you might still get in trouble, but not as much as if you lie.” After I naturally tested the limits of this particular family law—news flash, she wasn’t kidding—it became an unspoken measuring stick regarding behavior and, even more so, how we communicated in our relationship as mother and daughter, parent and child. And in my mid-twenties, when I found myself chronically walking on the side of white lies and half-truths, her words were what led me back to the core of my own authenticity, my own straight and narrow.
Telling the truth matters; it’s like water for the soul. So why do many of us resist or refrain from being fully honest in our relationships? We want true connection with others, so why do we stick to platitudes and small talk, or say we’re fine when we’re not, or withhold key pieces of information from our loved ones? I don’t know. But in my experience, it’s easy to veer away from truth-telling in our relationships for all kinds of silly and serious reasons, and I’ve made an ongoing effort to place honesty at the center. Here’s what I’ve learned, and how you can use some of these same strategies to bring a bit more truth to your relationships as well.