For the longest time, admitting I needed help—and accepting help from other people, whether acquaintances, coworkers, close friends, or loved ones—left me fraught with emotions. I didn’t want to look weak or silly, or impose on someone and seem too needy; I wanted to appear like I had it all together, like I didn’t need anything from anyone, because that’s what I thought strong people did. Even if I was struggling, I kept trying to prove to myself that I could handle “it,” whatever “it” happened to be: a bad day, childcare, work projects, moving furniture. And when a person happened to break through my wall of “Everything is fine! I’m fine!” I would quickly backtrack to a place of savage independence: “No, no, it’s okay, I’ve got it.” Which honestly made my life even harder, and probably annoyed the heck out of the people who were trying so hard to support me.
What’s up with our collective discomfort around asking for and accepting help? We’re human, and we’re built to rely on each other. Here’s how to incorporate more of the yin and yang of giving and receiving into your life.