One thing I find really laughable about human behavior is our insistence on telling people we are over a certain situation when we’re so clearly not. Why do we do this? Maybe it’s because we’re trying to fake it till we make it. Or maybe we like the feeling of secret anger as we wait for it to be acknowledged or resolved by the other person. Or maybe we know our little grudge is silly, and we’re annoyed with ourselves for hanging onto it. Or we can’t pinpoint exactly why we’re upset in the first place. I’m not sure. I do know that when you’re holding a grudge, you’re also gripping an expectation around being “owed” something or a desire to “get even.” Obviously this mind-set rarely works out well for anyone.
Holding a grudge has been shown to take a negative physical toll, not only on your mental health but on your body as well. People joke about problems or issues being a “weight” on their mind, because long-standing grudges can increase stress and negative emotions like anger and resentment. It can also lead to increased risks for ulcers, heart disease, and high blood pressure. So let it go—either speak up and tell the person you’re holding a grudge against exactly how he has injured you, or decide to release the hurt on your own and move on. Neither option is easy, and both can be fraught with potential pitfalls. However, if you continue to hold onto the grudge, you’re only hurting yourself.