Alcoholics Anonymous has a tenet about keeping your side of the street clean, and while it is intended to help those struggling with addiction stay focused on their own recovery, there are some parallels to taking responsibility for your own actions first and foremost. Imagine you live in a house, and one day you look out the window and see a bunch of junk on your lawn. You go outside and clean it up. The next day you look out the window, and this time there’s junk on your lawn and your neighbor’s lawn. You clean up your lawn and wait for your neighbors to do the same. Except they don’t. You can wonder why it’s taking so long, push them to get started, and feel uber annoyed by the entire thing, but ultimately your job is to keep your side of the street clean.
When you take responsibility in your relationships, it means making choices with integrity, but it also means you’re in charge of how much time or energy you devote to each interaction or situation. You can’t control the way other people behave, not in the long run, but you can control the way you behave: practicing honest communication, skipping the blame game, finding solutions, making choices with integrity, rooting yourself in love. Keeping your side of the street clean relieves stress, because it ultimately allows you to stay in alignment with who you are and who you want to be.