“You…complete me.” The minute Tom Cruise uttered these words in the movie Jerry Maguire, relationship experts everywhere probably cringed. I’m half joking. But seriously, other people are not ultimately responsible for your sense of wholeness, and it’s dangerous to look to the relationships in your life to serve that purpose. The people you love can absolutely shape and guide you toward a feeling of being complete, but at the end of the day, your wholeness is up to you, and no relationship can meet every single need or desire you might have ever had. That’s part of the work around not losing yourself—when you stay connected to your own sense of self, you can flourish but also make space for how you may want to grow and change throughout different chapters of your life.
Focus on what makes you you, outside of the context of any relationship.
TRY THIS
When you think about what “completes” you, what comes to mind? Write it down. Now go back and see how many things on your list are related to other people. Cross them off, and try again. What gives you a sense of love and purpose? How can you complete yourself and let other people serve as the cherry on top?