I first stumbled across this quote, attributed to Hillary Clinton, in a magazine article, and it stopped me dead in my tracks—so much so that I cut it out, scrapbook-style, and pinned it to the bulletin board above my desk. Whatever you think of Clinton the politician, there’s no escaping the fact that she’s spent the past thirty-plus years navigating a very public career and has probably, in my opinion, learned a thing or two. For me, this quote represents how best to balance your approach to most things at work (not everything, of course, but a lot of situations and people). If I take something seriously, then that means I’m likely listening, considering, and trying to be thoughtful of next steps or contextual information I might need—but if I also take it personally, I might immediately get wrapped up in details that don’t matter and find myself unable to see a bigger picture.
Taking criticism seriously, but not personally, allows you to stay calm, focused, and, most of all, resilient in the face of chaos, feedback, or the unexpected. It helps you shift from an emotional reaction—“Oh my God, this will be a disaster” or “I can’t believe she said that”—to an action-oriented state of mind—“What do we need to do to minimize the damage here?” or “I want her to know her words were hurtful, but we need to make deadline on this project.” And it forces you to either find some merit in the thing itself in order to grow, or let go of what’s not useful and move forward.