Let’s pretend I’m writing a national speech for an executive leader, something I’ve done before in my day job. I spend hours and hours on the project completing research, sourcing information, and editing to fit the style of this person as well as provide worthwhile takeaways to the audience at hand. On the day the final draft is due, I hand over the speech, only to be told it’s not exactly what the person is looking for, and I need to redo several sections completely. I have two choices. I can take it personally: Wow, they hate my work… I messed up… I didn’t do a good enough job… I really thought this was a smart anecdote… They don’t even know how long it takes to put something like this together… Or I can take it seriously without any of the personal noise in my head: Hmm, I thought this was on point, but we must have missed a connection somewhere… I can go back to the drawing board, and I’ll need more information on that topic to give it another go… I should clarify if the story itself didn’t resonate, or if it needs to be replaced entirely…
In this example it’s not that I don’t care—I should. It’s not that feedback, particularly surprising or negative in nature, is enjoyable to hear—it’s usually not. It’s not that I don’t lament lost hours or worry about bringing my best—I do. And it’s not that I approach any task with a laissez-faire attitude of “Welp, whatever happens, happens—not my problem.” It’s that I’ve trained myself to pause and remember that it’s not about me; it’s about the work. That’s my go-to phrase, because it reminds me to step back and emphasizes the whole “take things seriously, but not personally” idea. Find a phrase that works for you in the same manner. Think of something you could repeat to yourself in moments like this that could remind you to take work seriously but not personally.