I recently scheduled a feedback session with a leader who has been both a mentor and a friend. The week before the meeting, I set aside a few minutes to strategically think through what I needed from her and what I hoped to walk away with. I wrote down three areas for which I wanted her specific feedback, either positive or negative, and then I listed one management question I had where I wanted her personal advice. Then, because I expected she’d probably ask me for feedback in return, I identified two things she’s done really well since we’ve worked together, and two areas where our relationship could be improved. Did I plan to use all of that in the meeting, verbatim? No. But it helped me organize my thoughts and functioned as a conversation outline I could use to make the most of our time—and her time as a busy vice president and mom of three. I wanted to be prepared.
The intent around avoiding shortcuts isn’t to warn you against ever asking for help; in fact, it’s the opposite. Instead focus on all the legwork you can do up front before reaching out, because that’s how you’ll be most successful and truly receive the support, advice, and guidance you need. This month take a minute every time you need to ask for help to think about what you’re really trying to do and if you’ve done your due diligence. Organizing those thoughts, and putting forth some initial effort, will go a long way.