The sound of the door opening alerted Rilee to a visitor and she crossed her fingers that it was a customer. As she walked out to the front of the clinic she stopped short. ‘Oh. Hi,’ she said, trying not to sound as stunned as she felt.
Talissa dug her hands into the front pockets of her jeans and pulled out two crumpled ten-dollar notes before taking a step closer and thrusting them out at Rilee. ‘I haven’t forgotten about payin’ you back. This is all I got so far. I’ll get the rest later this week.’
‘Oh.’ Rilee shook herself mentally before reaching for the money. ‘Are you sure? I don’t mind if you want to keep this and use it for more important things.’ Like food for your child, she added silently, sending a glance at the baby kicking in the pram.
‘Well, okay then,’ said Rilee, realising it was obviously important to Talissa’s pride that she pay back her debt.
‘I forgot to ask before, what’s bub’s name?’
There was a definite hesitation this time and a frown. ‘Khaleesi.’
Rilee couldn’t help the flicker of surprise and the girl instantly hunched her shoulders. ‘So you’re a Game of Thrones fan then?’
Talissa tilted her head slightly and some of the tension left her body. ‘Yeah.’
‘Me too. I have the books if you ever want to read them,’ Rilee said casually.
‘Why would you want to read books when you can watch it on DVD?’
‘I love the DVDs too, but the books are so much better.’ At the girl’s doubtful look Rilee chuckled. ‘Honest. When you read the books you get more of the story and you get to know the characters and what they’re thinking.’
‘I never liked reading much…at school.’
‘It’s not too late to try it and see if you like it now.’
‘I don’t get much time to read. Not with a baby to look after,’ she said, checking on the child quickly.
‘I noticed you bottle-feed her. You didn’t like breastfeeding?’ Rilee couldn’t help thinking how much healthier and cheaper it would have been for her to have breastfed instead of buying all that expensive formula.
‘Nah. It was too hard.’
‘You didn’t get any help at the hospital?’
Talissa shrugged and turned away to look around the room curiously. ‘I wasn’t there long.’
‘Does the baby nurse clinic come here?’
‘Nah. You gotta go to Narrabri for that. I went the first time, but I haven’t been back.’
This news made Rilee uneasy. Why wouldn’t they have a nurse come out to the women here in Pallaburra? It was bad enough that any new mum had to drive all that way with a newborn for weekly check-ups, but for these kids too young to drive? How were they supposed to get regular baby checks? Not to mention the normal antenatal care that was important to help with breastfeeding education and the mother’s health.
‘I hate going to that place anyway. All the other older women sit there and look down their noses at me and Khaleesi, just cause I’m younger than them.’
She’d seen it around town, the subtle change in expression as a young mother walked past a group of older women, the knowing glances they’d silently swap.
‘I don’t give a toss what other people think of me, but I just wish it was fair, you know? No one looks at teenage dads like that, cause they’re hardly ever around anyway.’
‘What about Khaleesi’s dad? Is he around?’
Talissa turned away with a brief shrug of one shoulder. ‘Nah. He dumped me when I told him I was pregnant. He told me to get rid of it. But that’s when I knew I was gonna keep it,’ she said, looking up at Rilee with a determined glint. ‘I know what it feels like not to be wanted by anyone. I wasn’t going to do that to my baby.’
Rilee felt her throat thicken with emotion at the quiet yet strong words the young girl spoke. ‘I heard the cashier mention your mum the other day. Does she help you out?’
‘Sometimes,’ she said, crossing to the desk and picking up the small brown bottles of premixed remedies Rilee had on display.
‘How old are you, Talissa?’
‘Fifteen,’ she said calmly.
‘Do you have any plans to go back to school?’
‘No. What’s the point?’
‘You don’t want to study and get a good job?’
‘Study what? In case you haven’t noticed, there’s not that many good jobs in Pallaburra.’
‘You wouldn’t have to get a job here. You could get a job somewhere else. As for studying, there’s a whole range of things you could study if you finished school.’
Talissa put the bottle she’d been holding down and gave Rilee an odd look. ‘How would I do that with a baby?’
‘It wouldn’t be easy,’ Rilee conceded, ‘but I’m sure there would be a way to do it.’
‘Maybe for someone like you.’
‘That’s not true. If you want something bad enough there’s always a way to make it happen.’
‘If you have money.’
‘Not everyone starts out with money, Talissa. I put myself through my naturopathy degree by working in a bar.’
‘Yeah, but you didn’t have a kid.’
True. And therein lay the problem. ‘Would your mum help you out with taking care of the baby?’
‘Maybe. But I wouldn’t ask. Khaleesi is my responsibility. Look, thanks for the other day, but none of this is any of your business.’
‘I’m sorry. I ask too many questions,’ Rilee said with a slight wince. ‘Force of habit. That’s how I get to the bottom of people’s health problems, but sometimes I forget that I do it.’
‘Yeah. I’ll get the rest of the money to you when I can.’ She pushed the pram towards the door and Rilee crossed the room to hold it open for her.
‘It was good to see you, Talissa.’
The young girl looked at her briefly, but didn’t comment.
Rilee sighed as she turned away from the door, feeling a mixture of frustration and helplessness. As a healer she had a natural desire to fix people, but in this case it wasn’t a matter of treating them with a remedy, it was knowing that in order to ‘fix’ them she’d have to change their whole environment. She wasn’t naive enough to believe she could wave a magic wand and change things for Talissa, but putting a face to the problem in this town certainly made it far more personal. Changes had to happen or there would be more Talissas left to believe Pallaburra and fatherless children were the only future they could hope for.