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“POOR ADDY,” I SAID to Alex as he and Tootie slipped into the crowd. “Imagine what it must be like to be married to that.”
“I don’t have to,” he said. “But I do wish that he felt that he could be himself and be rid of her.”
“I wonder why he hasn’t?”
“Because of his position in society. People know their marriage is a sham, Jennifer. Everyone knows that Addy is gay. But facades loom large in this group, secrets run deep, and Addy has chosen to keep his non-secret secret for the sake of his family’s name and reputation.”
“In this day and age, that seems ridiculous to me.”
“When it comes to society, it shouldn’t.”
“I’m just happy that I’m a stranger looking in from the outside. Thank God I’ll never be one of them.”
“Tell me about it. They only want us here because of Wenn—and the potential deals they can strike with Wenn. And by the way, I’m perfectly fine with that. That’s a fair deal—it works both ways.”
“Cheers to that,” I said, touching my martini to his.
It was then that an unmistakable voice rang out from somewhere in the crowd.
“Oh, look at who it is! It’s my leetle beety two coupla cookies! The Alex and the Yennifer! You here tonight, and Epifania so happy! She been looking for you two the everywhere!”
I felt my heart skip a happy beat when I heard her voice. I scanned the sea of people milling in front of us until I saw Epifania Zapopa—the official loose cannon of Park Avenue—beaming at me with her bright, happy face as she moved toward us.
“Finally,” I said to Alex. “A light in the dark.”
“Agreed,” he said. “If nothing else, she’s an honest person, she’s become a good friend of ours, and she alone will lift the night.”
When Epifania came upon us, I thought that she looked lovely. Ever since the three of us had worked together to take down Stephen Rowe, Blackwell had taken Epifania under her wing and gone shopping with her countless times over the past several months.
And the results of those efforts showed.
For the first time since we’d met, Epifania wasn’t wearing the revealing sort of gown she generally wore. Tonight, she was in a beautiful Alexander McQueen black evening gown that I recognized at once because I’d tried it on myself. I had my share of curves, especially when it came to my ass, but I didn’t have Epifania’s curves—the gown fit her far better than it had fit me. With her long, thick brown hair curling around her shoulders and her makeup spot-on, she looked like a movie star.
“Give me the kisses!” she said as she approached us. “Both of you. Kiss, kiss, kiss. That the right. Alex, right on this cheek here.” When he kissed her on the cheek, she reared away from him. “Heyzeus Cristo, Alex—your stubble gonna do me in.”
If you only knew, I thought.
“How are you, love?” I asked.
“Oh, look, the cookie, Epifania just the fine. She still looking for a man, and she gotta say that not finding one is starting to wear on her fucking nerves. So, to fight against that, I recently joined this service called the ‘Elite Singles.’”
“You did not.”
“Of course I did. Mama needs some loving—and by that, I mean the real thing. Not the sheet I been dealing with since the Chuckie die.”
“Have you met anyone?”
“A couple of rich dudes—good looking, but boring as hell. I need a man with spice in his heart. A super-hung Latino would do! Please tell me that he out there. All Epifania want is someone fun, sexy, hung, and interesting.”
“I’m never worried when it comes to your love life, Epifania. You’ll find him.”
“From your leeps to God’s ears. Now, come on! Why aren’t we talking about the good sheet? Why we being so good? Let’s let the monkeys fly out of the donkeys!”
That was a new one. “The what?”
“That an old saying back home,” she said. “Never mind. I’m talking about Meredith! Stone cold dead! Found on a sidewalk as if she were put out with the trash! And they calling it a mugging!”
“It’s terrible,” I said.
Epifania lowered her voice and took a step closer to me. “But was it really a mugging, the cookie? What you think?”
“That it was probably a mugging,” Alex interjected.
“You think? Really? Because Epifania think it was Stephen Rowe!”
“Epifania, you need to keep your voice down,” I said. “People are listening.”
“Oh, the boobies, please. They always listen when Epifania speaks, because Epifania always speak the truth! And because of that? These motherfuckers can’t help themselves but to listen! Epifania no fool. She know what she bring to the party. Trouble!”
“Let’s have none of that tonight,” Alex said. “I mean, Meredith did just pass yesterday, Epifania. She didn’t do anything to Jennifer or me—that was all on Stephen, not her. Let’s remember and respect that.”
“Respect?” Epifania said. “I love you to pieces, Alex, but to hell with respecting that whore. She was a rude beech to me. I met her lots of times, you know? And guess what? I hated her every fucking time I saw her. What a snob. She was always so hoity to the toity. So prim and the proper. So full of herself. She always be like this—look at me. Oh, please, just look at me. I’m just so groooooovy.” Epifania rolled her wide brown eyes at us. “Believe me, she had no time for me because she know I come to this country in a rubber boat filled with fifty squabbling relatives always crying about the leetle sheet. You know, like having no food or water. They were fucking pussies. And you know what? Despite the fact that I got Chuckie’s five-hundred million when he die? That beech Meredith still snub me. Can you believe that? That puta was something else! I’m not gonna miss her, that’s for sure. And I’m not gonna pretend that I do.”
Jesus, I thought. Blackwell can dress her up, but Epifania will never have a filter...
Which is kind of why I love her.
“You know, when it comes to her death, I smell something the funky,” she said. “They calling it a mugging? Well, Epifania speet on that. Who the hell mug Meredith Rowe? And why was she on that street alone? Where was her driver? Why didn’t he get involved? Did she even have a driver? Who the hell know? And where was she going at that time of night? I don’t get it. Epifania smell a rat—and its asshole looks like Stephen Rowe’s face!”
“Epifania,” Alex said in a low, warning voice.
“I know, I know. I gotta keep my leeps on the lockdown.”
“Here’s the good thing—we’ll know more as the investigation unfolds,” Alex said. “But as a good friend of yours, I have to ask you to please be careful about what you say in public about Stephen when it comes to any of this. Let it play out. If he knew that you were publicly smearing him, he’d sue you. You and I both know that, so why even tempt him when he’s just going to want to take you for your money? Let the police do their work and we’ll see what comes of it.”
“I hear you, the cookie. Epifania just think something is off, that’s all.”
“Think about this as Jennifer and I have,” he said to her. “Do you really think that Stephen would have her murdered only a month after their divorce became official? He’d never take that risk. He’d know that he’d be the first one the police would turn to, which I’m fairly sure has already happened. He might be an asshole, but he isn’t stupid. Think that through—it’s not him.”
“Look, fuck it,” Epifania said. “I’m just glad that beech is walking hand-in-hand with the Grim Reaper right now. Sorry—I know that’s probably crossing the lines. But that still how I feel about her.”
“And that’s your prerogative,” Alex said. “Just know that answers about the circumstances surrounding Meredith’s death will likely come out soon. I hate Rowe to his core, but I don’t believe for a minute that he’s behind any of this. He’s too smart. He wouldn’t do that so soon.”
“Maybe,” Epifania said with hesitation. “I don’t know—he a bastard. But you could be right. I guess we wait and see.”
“Exactly.”
“So, why you two here tonight? Business as always? Or are you two out having fun just being the sexy, hot, smoldering couple of peeps you are?”
“We’re having fun with you,” I said with a giggle. “But we’re also here on business.”
“Of course you are. Who you here to see?”
“Rudman Cross.”
“Rudsy?”
I furrowed my brow at her. “Rudsy?”
“That what I call him—and he love it.”
“You know him?”
“Know him? Hell, I used to fuck him.”
“No, you didn’t,” I said to her.
“Sure I did. We met a year or so ago. Everyone say he a bastard, but he really a pussycat. Well, at least he was to me. We still friends to this day. We still do the flirts. I was hoping to see him tonight.”
“You’re still friends with Rudman Cross?” Alex asked.
“Yeah, sure we are. We ended things on good terms. We even have gone out to dinner a few times after the fucking—just as friends. Why, you no know him?”
“Only in passing. And let’s just say that he was no pussycat when it came to meeting me,” Alex said. “That’s why we thought we’d make contact with him at a party—you know, after he has a few drinks in him.”
“Is he here tonight?”
“We believe so, yes,” Alex said.
“OK, fine. So, how about if I take you over to him and introduce you two to him?” she asked.
And that alone was one mother of a loaded question. What would Epifania say to Cross? How would she introduce us to him? How crazy would she be? Was this an in for us? Or should we run for the hills?”
“I see what behind your eyes,” Epifania said after Alex and I balked. “And I get it. And no, I no insulted. You think Epifania gonna be batshit crazy if she take you over to him. Look, the cookies, do you really think I landed my leetle loaded Chuckie without being really, really smart? When it comes to my friends, I am who I am—the real me. But when it comes to people like the Chuckie and the Rudsy, Epifania is a kinda, sorta different person. I didn’t get off that rubber boat without a plan, you know? I knew what I could offer if I was given a chance. You’ll see. So, come on. Come with me. And trust me—when we find him, it gonna be all right. Epifania so got this sheet down, you don’t even know!”
